16: Relationships as Mirrors
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The final episode of the LđVE SERIES. This episode is all about the purpose of love. Why do we love? We learn how relationships are a mirror of ourselves and the seven essene mirror principles.
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Healthy relationships donât happen by chance, they happen by awakening.
Just like how mirrors in a gym provide a reference point to yourself, relationships are a reference point to yourself internally.
Relationships make you see things in yourself that you might not see if you are single and alone.
You are listening to Episode 16 of the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang: Relationships as Mirrors.
[Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]:
Donât just go through life, grow through it. Donât just go through life, grow through it.
Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.
My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the âThe Positivity Queen.â
My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything.
Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose.
This podcast wonât just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.
Ready to grow? Letâs grow!
[Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro]
[Episode 16 – Relationships as Mirrors Begins]
Hello beautiful soul!
What a journey it has been for the love series.
Thank you all for your kind words on the Instagram posts, reels and podcasts so far. I appreciate it so much.
Thank you all for reaching out to me in the DMs on Instagram, I reply to all my DMs (unless youâre cold selling to me or begging me to follow you back sorry Iâm not about that!) and love speaking to each and every one of you.
Thank you to all my clients, itâs an honour to be part of your life and journey in this very moment. Love and relationships are a key area of my coaching and I am seeing incredible transformations across the board.
One of my clients was a self professed crying, heartbroken wreck from an unexpected breakup a few months ago. Two months into our coaching, she attended a party where her ex showed up and she felt like a whole new person – calm, so deeply in love with herself and unaffected by his presence.Â
Another two of my clients have transitioned from casual relationships to committed relationships with their flings and friends with benefits through the incredible work theyâve done working on themselves particularly self love and stepping up through their communication which is amazing, I am so proud of them.
For my other clients we are working through heartbreak whether thatâs moving on from past relationships or breaking up with partners in relationships that no longer serve them. On that I wanted to share, when you do the work and start shifting stagnant energy, donât be surprised when you find yourself attracted to new energies in your life whether thatâs in love, relationships, friendships or your career! I see it happen all the time with myself and my clients.
If the love series has been really resonating and vibing with you, if my clientâs successes are what you want, I invite you to DM me on Instagram – letâs chat about 1:1 coaching and working together. I offer a complementary 45 minute call no strings attached to see if we are the right match for each other, you have nothing to lose, so get it on it beautiful soul – I look forward to speaking with you.Â
On todayâs episode – I canât believe we are on our final instalment of the series! Weâve gone from episode 13 on love mindset, to self love on episode 14, to the energetics of love on episode 15 now to ending with the thought around the purpose of love.
Oh yes we go deep!
Over the weekend I celebrated a beautiful friendâs birthday and I got speaking to another girl on the trip who is in a place of conflict at the moment.
Sheâs not sure about the guy sheâs dating. Are they meant to be or not?
I think we have all been there and then she brings up something interesting.
He might be her twin flame.Â
It feels like a lifetime ago when I think about twin flames.
I think I met mine at the beginning of my spiritual awakening.
For those who donât know what a twin flame is, itâs a very intense soul connection with another to the point you are thought to be another personâs half. The idea of a twin flame is that you are part of one original soul that has been split into two bodies.
He gave me the book, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and the rest is history. In fact I am re reading the book 8 years later and it truly resonates with me now more than ever. To be honest, back then I was only really starting to understand spirituality whereas now I practice it.Â
I fell so deeply and passionately for him but it wasnât meant to be.
He was definitely emotionally unavailable and I triggered him big time – especially going through my dad being very ill and passing away.Â
In fact it was very short lived but it served a huge purpose.
I am so thankful to him that I got to wake up before my dad passed and to share with him I finally understood all the consciousness principles he would speak about long before I even knew what it meant to be awake and conscious.Â
Iâve always been under the belief that we are not meant to be with our twin flames in a lifetime, rather they are a mirror to yourself. A catalyst for your soul growth.
I believe relationships are some of our biggest spiritual assignment. Healthy relationships donât happen by chance, they happen by awakening.
Relationships make you see things in yourself that you might not see if you are single and alone. You have no reference point. Others can give us a reference point in fact from the beginning of our lives our parents do.
âYouâre such a good girl or boyâ
âYou are growing so quicklyâ
âIt was only yesterday you were a baby!â
This brings us to todayâs episode which is all about relationships as mirrors.
When you go to the gym, there are so many mirrors around. So why all the mirrors?
Well, for one you can see your form, your technique, if you are doing something properly.
Two, itâs an ego boost right? Right in front of you, you can see how your body is shaping, yes looking good girl and what your body looks like when youâre working out.
Just like how mirrors in a gym provide a reference point to yourself, relationships are a reference point to yourself internally.Â
Every relationship we have is a mirror whether itâs romantic or not, whether you are single or not.
This means your friend, your sibling, your family, your partner, your colleague and so forth.Â
What do I mean by a mirror?
Well, every quality you see in another whether you like it or not, is a reflection of yourself. Attitudes, behaviours, beliefs, values, programming. In order to recognise a certain quality, you must be able to see it within yourself. What the mirror reflects, you may be aware or unaware of within yourself.
Once you do the work and youâre aware, you canât just stop there. Itâs one thing to be aware and itâs another thing to do the damn work! If you donât like what you see in the mirror, donât get mad at the mirror, clean the mirror.
And hereâs some even deeper insight for you.
We subconsciously seek out what we need to heal in ourselves in relationships so you can be at ease with mistakes youâve made. Itâs okay, in fact they needed to happen, to teach you, to wake you up no matter how many you make.Â
After all I needed to make mistakes and learn so much when I was single for 8 years!
A personal example I share with you is that I used to date all the wrong people. In these relationships I felt lonely – I didnât feel like my needs were being met and I felt unheard. It would be so difficult for them to make time for me or consider me a priority in their life. I felt unworthy when they would not commit to a relationship with me or introduce me to their friends.Â
This pattern would play out for many years, I suspected it had something to do with me but I didnât do the work. I just scratched upon the surface.
After doing the work and having a coach, I realised that this all reflected my relationship with myself.Â
I didnât meet my own needs – I never vocalised what I wanted and I wanted someone else to meet my needs for me. Make me feel loved, special and worthy. I didnât make myself a priority, I would value their time and bend over backwards to make their schedule work with mine.Â
Oh they canât meet up that day but can do this day? Ahh! I was meant to meet up with this friend, but if I do, I wonât be able to see them so Iâd bail on my friend to see them. A big no no!Â
The commitment phobeness? I wasnât committed to myself and my growth. I was emotionally unavailable, looking for love where deep down I knew I wouldnât find someone to reciprocate it because if they did I wasnât ready. They served as a distraction to needing to love myself, needing to be vulnerable with myself.Â
Not only that, mirrors arenât confined they are two way. What you pick up in a business situation may play itself out in the context of a relationship. For example if you find it hard to ask for a pay rise at work, you may find it hard to ask someone for commitment in a relationship.Â
To further delve in to the work of relationships and mirrors is to see it from the seven essene mirrors.Â
The ancient Essenes who’s work are the mirrors, are an ancient Jewish group who are the authors of the Dead Sea Scrolls. The Egyptians called them healers back in the day.Â
Their ancient teachings on the following seven mirrors teach us about how our experiences and relationships reflect different aspects of our selves.
In another, you see yourself in the present moment. What is going on in your inner world now reflects in your outer world. For example if you feel chaotic inside, your reality will be chaotic on the outside.
In another, you see your own biases and judgement particularly big, energetically charged and emotional reactions.
In another, what can you recognise that you have lost, given away or had taken from yourself? This is to do with your relationship with yourself.Â
By seeing what you lose you may be very attracted out his person because they have what you now want and used to have.Â
It will make you confront your regret perhaps around being ungrateful. It could be innocence, kindness, respect, love, compassion, honesty. All of which you think you have lost can be reclaimed.
In another you see a past way of life or an unfinished relationship. This is where we see patterns repeating themselves over and over, particularly compulsive or addictive behaviours. These usually replay over and over until you learn what you need to know and see what you need to see.
In another, you can see the unconscious imprinting of your parents – behaviours, beliefs that arenât yours to begin with. How are you acting in ways that your parents would have in this situation?
In another, you can see the most feared aspects of self worth, trust, abandonment and loneliness. This mirror is all about the challenging and dark times in your life. An experience we know as the âdark knight of the soulâ Knowing that it is happening for a reason, for your growth.Â
To trust in yourself that you will find the way and come out stronger, wiser. I found this one harder to explain conceptually so to further share I truly experienced this when I lost my dad. I found myself in a very dark place and would pick up on the darkness in others which I saw in myself.Â
This experience deeply changed me as a person, my perception to life in the best way and has helped me help my clients as I am able to hold space for them, I donât fear the darkness or shadow parts they see in themselves because I also can see it in myself. Â
In another, you can see how you are. Others will perceive you and treat you according to how you perceive and treat yourself.
If you are have low self esteem and fail to see the good in yourself, youâll find others struggling to as well.
If you are angry, bitter and unloving towards yourself, youâll find others treating you so.
This episode definitely calls for self reflection.
What is the mirror of your life revealing to you – circumstances which are happening, relationships in your life.
In the mirror of the moment, here in life it self, this ver moment – are you here now?
If you are looking to further develop your relationship with yourself and others, get in touch with me and letâs chat about working together through 1:1 coaching.Â
Have a fantastic week ahead beautiful soul, speak to you next Tuesday. Love and Positivity.
[Episode 16 – Mirrors as Relationships Outro]
Are you wanting to find out more about 1:1 Coaching or working with me? Maybe perhaps you want to know more about me. Iâd love to connect with you. You can visit my website phidang.com or connect with me on Instagram @thephidang. Speak to you soon.
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Learn about the #1 Mistake people make when it comes to success in addition to practical tips and strategies on how to create and have success. I also do a Q&A on all things success from how to stay motivated, being successful during times of uncertainty and a lack of resources such as money when it comes to having success.
Donât let others or society define it for you, figure out what success is for you.
The outer world is a reflection of your inner world.
You can create the reality and results you want. But guess what? You arenât entitled to that without doing the work.
You are listening to episode 9 of the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang: How to Create and Have Success in 2021.
[Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]:
Donât just go through life, grow through it. Donât just go through life, grow through it.
Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.
My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the âThe Positivity Queen.â
My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything.
Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose.
This podcast wonât just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.
Ready to grow? Letâs grow!
[Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro]
[Episode 09 – How to Create and Have Success in 2021 Begins]
Hello beautiful souls.
Happy 2021!Â
This is going to be your best year yet, I just know it.Â
If anyone hasnât told you already, I have full faith in you.
I have full faith because you are here, listening to the first episode for 2021 of the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.Â
By doing this, you are intentionally setting time aside for you.Â
To work on yourself, to create success for yourself – so congratulations, Iâm proud of you!Â
A mindset open to learning and prioritising their self development and growth is always going to be successful.
People like you, are the people I love to work with in my 1:1 coaching program.Â
If you are the type of person who loves personal development through books, courses and podcasts and you are ready for the next step, to supercharge and accelerate your growth, letâs chat – I have limited 1:1 coaching spots left for this first quarter of this year as I am so happy to have 3 of you beautiful souls join me last week!Â
Now as you gathered from the title, this podcast is all about creating and having a successful 2021.Â
In this modern day and age, we know that success looks different to everyone, itâs a matter of defining your success. For some it will be money, for others it will be a running a huge marathon.
Donât let others or society define it for you, figure out what success is for you.
When we talk success, in this episode its in the framework of achieving your goals because I know goals are at the top of many peopleâs minds when it come to a new year.
Now I also know a lot of other podcasts and all the freebies, motivational speakers and influencers talk about how to create successful goals, for me thatâs something that I do with my 1:1 coaching clients as itâs very personal. This podcast will focus more on the journey of achieving goals and your success.Â
So letâs begin.
I want to lay down for you a foundational base for creating success. To do that I want to first of all address the #1 mistake people make when it comes to creating change based on my experience as a life coach with clients from all over the world.
People try to change their reality by changing the outside world.
This is a thought error.
The outside world is just circumstances.
Circumstances are neutral.
The factor that will truly shift and create change for you is your thoughts.Â
Your thoughts cause your feelings.
Your feelings cause your actions.
Your actions cause your results.
So to truly change anything it begins in your thoughts because your thoughts are in your control.
If you donât agree with my statement, you have work to do.Â
If you donât understand why, letâs chat because this is the realm I work within as a life coach.
Most people go around this world on auto-pilot dangerously in their mind. They believe whatever goes on in their brain and they donât intentionally choose their thoughts!
When you donât intentionally choose your thoughts, you choose to believe the negativity that goes in on your mind thatâs formed over years of subconscious programming.
Then you go around life not knowing why you feel bad on a regular basis and you donât know what to do with those thoughts. The lines become blurry. You donât know how to change your thought process or how to process your emotions.
Itâs not a surprise and itâs not your fault. We donât learn about this at school, at university or even in our jobs.
We only truly learn about this when we work on ourselves through personal development, when we invest in a coach.
Your thoughts are your inner work.
The outer world is a reflection of your inner world.
For example if you have a chaotic mind, youâll find more often than not a messy, disorganised home.
If youâre finding it hard to find love, itâs because you donât truly love yourself.
If youâre finding it hard to make money, itâs because you have a scarcity mindset.
Trying to change your reality by changing the outside world, is like trying to change white wine to red wine by adding food colouring.Â
If you want actual change, you have to go to the source.
If you want the wine to actually change, you have to use a different variety of grapes.
If you want your reality to change, you have to fo the source: you, your thoughts.Â
In the journey for change and success, the first step is always the hardest.
First of all, when you want to do something new, you’re starting at zero.
You have no track record or experience.
You have no momentum.
Thereâs nothing.
More than anything, it takes determination, energy and effort to go from zero to one than it does to get to get from any other steps after that.
After that, every step is easier than the first.
You can achieve the goals you set.
You can create the reality and results you want.
But guess what? You arenât entitled to that without doing the work.
You have the do the work.
You have to earn your results.
Now zero to one is the hardest but donât let that stop you.
You can do hard things.
You were made for hard things.
We cannot discuss success without failure.
Guess what, success and failure go hand in hand.
You canât choose whether you will succeed or fail because failure is always going to be a part of success. You can only choose what kind of failure you are going to have.
The only real failure in my eyes is to not try at all or to use it as an excuse to quit.
Further to this, allow yourself to grow. Give yourself permission to grow.
When you plant seeds in the garden, you donât check every day to see if they have instantly bloomed.
You simply water them everyday, clear the weeds and know that in time they will grow.
Breathe easy beautiful soul, it will happen – let things unfold as they are meant to.
If anyone tells you thereâs a secret to making it happen, there isnât.
Thereâs no magic formula or button, it truly is just doing the work.
It is overwhelming to go from 0 to 100 but itâs much easier to go from 0 to 1 to 2 to 3.
The key to success is consistency and knowing that every little bit counts even just 1%.
The pain you feel today, becomes the strength of your tomorrow
What can you do everyday to get you one step closer to your goal?
Think of success like a ladder.
To get to the top of the ladder sure you could leap from 0 to 4 rungs or even jump from rung 3 to rung 7 but when you do that, not only is it harder and requires more energy, you may fall in the process of doing so.
Consistency on the ladder is going up steadily one rung at a time..
Further to this, let us sprinkle accountability into the mix.
How different is it when you write down a goal in your journal and tell no one vs have a life coach checking in with you weekly asking if youâve done what you needed to do that week to make your goal happen and post about your goal openly on social media?
Very different right?
Studies have shown that when you share your goals with others, you are twice as likely to achieve them than if you keep the goals to yourself.Â
When you donât share your goals in some way, you arenât truly committed to them. Itâs very easy to give up because itâs like they never really existed.
Another reason why accountability works is well we are human and we want to save face.
Your reputation is on the line to loved ones, to people you know, to strangers on the internet. You want to fulfil the expectations that others have of you.Â
A life coach is worth the investment as there isnât the strain of telling a loved one or friend. A coach does not judge, scold or blame, your coach is there to support you every step of the way, help you develop strategies to overcome obstacles and help you realise what works for you and what does not.
So far everything Iâve discussed cements the fact that success is not an accident.
Success is intentional.
Habits play deeply into success as they account for about 40 percent of our behaviours on any given day.Â
Letâs pause for a moment to consider this.
Almost half of the things you do on any day isnâ a result of conscious decisions but behaviours that you have repeated so many times they have become more or less automatic.Â
You no longer think about them, thereâs no mind drama, you just do them.
It has been widely said that it takes 21 days to make a habit, so Iâm not going to go into this.
Rather I want to introduce the concept of habit stacking with you
Habit stacking uses the habits you already have and using the power of connection to create new habits.
It makes sense right, youâve already done something so much itâs almost auto pilot – if you use that as a foundational base to make a new habit, itâs more likely to stick.
Habit stacking goes like this
After or Before [CURRENT HABIT], I will [NEW HABIT].
Simple examples could be:
Before I eat breakfast, I will write down 3 things I am grateful for.
After I brush my teeth, I will take a minute to meditate.
Before I check my phone in the morning, I will stretch for 5 minutes.Â
So when I discussed the topic of goal setting and success on my Instagram you beautiful souls had a variety questions that I would like to answer. A Q&A a on goal setting and success.
When it comes to prioritising, think of it like this.
Everyone in the world has 24 hours including Beyonce, Oprah, Elon Musk. What are you doing with every hour you get?
Is what you are doing helping you get closer to your goal?Â
Another useful tool is to use a decision matrix, how important is the task and how urgent is the task?Â
Always know your purpose.
A great exercise for this is something I learnt from The Life Coach school. Itâs called the 3-2-1 method.
Everyday write down your goal followed by 3 reasons why it is important to you, 2 reasons why you are equiped to make it happen and 1 thing youâll do today to move closer to making it happen.
If youâre struggling to understand the purpose of your goal, use the 5 whys technique.Â
Ask yourself why, 5 times until you distill it down.
For example:
I want to get fit
1st why? To be skinnier
2nd why? So I can fit into my clothes
3rd why? So I can wear the new clothes I bought
4th why? These new clothes make me feel attractive and confident
5th why? They show off my figure. I want to feel attractive and confident to call in a relationship into my life. To feel so much love not only for my partner but for me too.
Realise this, when you chase a goal youâre chasing the feeling you get by achieving the goal. Most of the time itâs about feeling good.
The great thing about feelings is you can also conjure up feelings by recalling memories right?
If you want to feel happy, think about times where you have felt so much joy, you were laughing.
If you want to feel sad, think about times where you have experienced heart ache and pain.
If you want to feel confident, think about times where you felt at your best.
Letâs tie this into achieving our goals and the realm of success.
Letâs time leap and think about the you who achieves your goals this year.
What does the future you who achieved your goal think?
How does the future you who achieved your goal feel?
What does the future you do?
Taste it for a moment.
Your subconscious canât help but latch on and work in the background to find a way to make it happen.
Not only that, how do you embody future you right now?
Life is always going to be changing, change is the only constant.
No matter what you need to have confidence in yourself.
When you are confident in yourself, it doesnât matter what is happening in the external world.
The outside world doesnât define who you are and what you can do, you do.
Your job doesn’t define you, how much money you make, your relationship, how much you do, you do.
You control your thoughts, you control your belief, you control your decisions.
You know you can do hard things.
You know you will find a way to make it happen.
You know that you will figure it out.
Self confidence is having belief in yourself.
Itâs taking the leap through the faith.
Is reality controlling you or are you making the most of the current reality?Â
Think about this analogy, that you are at a casino playing blackjack.
Whatever cards you get, your goal is to win.Â
You canât control the cards you are being dealt, but what you do with those cards you control that. You also control your appearance, do you look confident with your hand or are you truly confident with your hand. Do you look defeated by your cards but secretly you know you have been dealt amazing cards?
That doesnât mean youâll always win with every hand but thats okay right? Just because you lose one round doesnât make you a terrible player. Just because youâve been losing consistently doesn’t mean youâll always lose. The tides turn. After all you can win big in just one round and leave.
This one really ties into a scarcity vs abundance mindset.
Scarcity says why is this happening to me. Abundance says what is here for me.
Focus on what you do have, when you notice the good things in your life, you canât help but feel more abundant.Â
An abundant mindset looks for opportunities and understands the more you give, the more you will get.
For example, if itâs money – the most incredible thing of our time is the internet. There are SO many free resources out there. In exchange for money, you may exchange time because you need to filter out all the information to find out work best for you, you need to try and learn along the way.
Instead of I canât afford that, think how can I afford that.
Are you conscious of where your current resources are going? Your time, your effort, your energy?
Most of the time we think we are but we canât account for minute to minute of our time or dollar to dollar.Â
This truly is a hard one but I truly understand.Â
In 2020 I spent $10,000 on my self development during a global pandemic. What I realised though is I had more money than I thought. The money that I used to use on frivolous things like new clothes, Ubers, dining out and takeaway was now funding my development as a life coach through taking courses and having my own coaches.
This episode has been like a mini intensive on how to set yourself up for success in 2021.Â
I wanted to close this episode with some quotes and food for thought.
âThere is no elevator to success, you have to take the stairs.â
âThe road to success and the road to failure are almost exactly the same.”
“Successful people do what unsuccessful people are not willing to do. Don’t wish it were easier; wish you were better.â
 “If you are not willing to risk the usual, you will have to settle for the ordinary.â
“I never dreamed about success, I worked for it.”
Thank you so much for listening to this episode on creating success in 2021. I am so excited for all the things to come this year. Watch this space! If you have any episode suggestions, please get in touch as Iâm always looking for new ideas to explore.
Not only that, as I mentioned earlier, I have limited 1:1 coaching spots left so if you are interested and want me by your side in 2021, letâs chat, I would love to help you.
I hope you all have an absolutely incredible 2021 full of joy and success.
Love and positivity, chat to you next Tuesday.
[Episode 09 – How to Create and Have Success in 2021 Ends]
Are you wanting to find out more about 1:1 Coaching or working with me? Maybe perhaps you want to know more about me. Iâd love to connect with you. You can visit my website phidang.com or connect with me on Instagram @thephidang. Speak to you soon.
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In this episode I explain the 12 universal laws of the Universe. I cover how they impact your life and how you can use them in your daily life through practical examples. It goes beyond the Law of Attraction and covers ones you may have never heard of such as the Law of Correspondence and the Law of Perpetual Transmutation of Energy.
(01:40) – What are the Universal Laws?
(03:15) – The Universal Laws
Emotions are energy in motion.
Trust that you will be compensated for what you do as long as you are open to receiving in the many ways the universe can deliver.
Nothing changes, if nothing changes.
[Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]:
Donât just go through life, grow through it. Donât just go through life, grow through it.
Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.
My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the âThe Positivity Queen.â
My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything.
Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose.
This podcast wonât just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.
Ready to grow? Letâs grow!
[Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro]
[Episode 03 – Beyond the Law of Attraction, The 12 Universal Laws: Begins]
Hi Beautiful Souls, itâs great to connect with you again! Iâm sure most of you listening have heard of the Law of Attraction? Distilled simply the law of attraction is that like attracts like. It is often brought up in relation to your thoughts. Positive thoughts attract positive outcomes, negative thoughts attract negative outcomes.Â
Whilst the Law of Attraction is well known due to its popularity in the media through books and documentaries such as The Secret, in this episode we go beyond the Law of Attraction and cover all 12 Laws of the Universe. Yes there are 12 laws of the universe! The Law of attraction co exists and works with these 11 other Laws.
So what are the universal laws? You can think of them as the law of nature, how life is âset upâ in a way. They are a roadmap on how to live your best life. The laws work in our favour, we work with them â they are not here as punishments and they are not here to stop us from living our best life. We co create with them. You co create with the universe your reality. Note it can be said the universe is interchangeable with terms such as the source, creation, God, divinity and so forth.
âThe lips of wisdom are closed, except to the ears of understanding.â
This is a quote from the ancient text The Kybalion, where the origins of the 12 universal laws stem from amongst other ancient teachings across time.
For the most part of the laws, the basic principle revolves around energy because everything in the universe is energy.
To many it sounds like âwooâ â vibrations, frequency however I promise you I will explain everything in clear and practical terms so you can truly understand the 12 universal laws.
As you gain a fuller understanding of the laws, you will see how they are all related, they overlap each other and govern the world we live in.
Another perspective you can have on the universal laws is that we can call it the game of life or we can call it the Matrix! Just like the movie. You can think of it as that we are living in the Matrix! And just like the Matrix, there are rules in how you play the game. Your purpose in this game is to be your best self, to grow and evolve.
So letâs dive into the 12 Universal Laws.
The first and most foundational law of the universe is the Law of Divine Oneness, which highlights how everything is interconnected. For us humans it goes beyond perception of physicality (what we can see and touch), into our senses and extends to every thought, action, belief you have too. Think of it as a ripple effect.
This is further extended in the notion we all come from one source origin which I alluded to earlier at the beginning of the podcast by saying âThe Universeâ is an interchangeable term, it is also known as âthe sourceâ, divinity, consciousness, God etc.
As a result, the law of divine oneness can be distilled as âwhat you wish upon others, you wish upon yourselfâ
When you hurt someone, you are hurting yourself.
You know how when you go to a yoga class they always say namaste? Namaste encapsulates this concept.
Originally a Sanskrit word (the ancient language in Hinduism) namaste is composed of two partsâânamasâ which means âbend to,â âbow toâ or âhonour to,â and âteâ means âto you.â So Namaste means âI bow to you.â This phrase when said is often accompanied by the gesture of joining two palms together, placing them at the heart level and bowing oneâs head while saying namaste.
The spiritual meaning of namaste conveys that âthe divine in me respectfully recognizes the divine in you.â Namaste invokes the feeling of spiritual oneness of heart and mind, with the person one is greeting.
So in practical terms how does the law of Divine Oneness apply to your daily life?
It really speaks to the power of working together in cooperation with others and to be of help and services to others. I have an analogy to showcase this for you.
When you have a single brick, what can you do with it? Not much right, perhaps as a door stop or a very heavy paper weight.
However if you have over a million bricks, you have so many possibilities. These bricks can be used to build a house, a hospital, a school, a business, a fireplace, driveways, a chimney and so forth. In order for this to happen all the bricks work together to create something incredible, something a single brick could never do.Â
Each individual brick is useful and important in itself but it becomes even more important and useful together with all the other bricks. Individual bricks become the support for another brick.
So in your life, are you working alone and for your own interest? Can you help others to become greater than you are alone? Are you truly unlocking your full potential alone? Imagine you could share your skills and knowledge with others, what incredible things would happen, not only for yourself but everyone around you and connected with you?
Vibrations used to be one of those things that was relegated to new age thinking, hippies, âwooâ along with healing crystals and so forth.
Today, quantum physics, science backs the fact that vibrations exist. In fact they exist everywhere and in everything, in the chair you may be sitting on, on the ground you are running on, in your forks and plates.
Everything in the universe is energy and in turn everything has a vibration.
Even Einstein himself said this:
âEverything is energy and thatâs all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics.â
What Einstein says has heavy weight, after all he is the physicist who developed the theory of relativity, one of the two pillars of modern physics.
How this applies to you in your daily life is realizing every thought, feeling, emotion has a vibrational frequency.
Have you heard of these sayings? They embody the Law of Vibration.
âYour vibe attracts your tribe.â
âGood vibesâ
âVibrate at the highest frequencyâ
Speaking of frequency a real life example of this is your emotions. Emotions are energy in motion. Each emotion has a different frequency for example love is a high frequency whereas shame is a low frequency.
How do you raise your vibrational frequency?Â
There are various ways to do this in your life including being conscious of your thoughts, meditating, practicing kindness and gratitude, swim in the ocean, do not saying yes to something unless you really want to, dance, decluttering, earthing (when you walk barefoot on the grass, check out my blog on my website phidang.com where I discuss this in an article 7 Unexpected Life-Changing Things I learnt on a Silent Retreat in Bali. Iâll drop the link in the show notes.
This law of correspondence is all about patterns that repeat throughout the universe, and on a personal level, our reality is a mirror of what’s happening inside us at that moment.
Therefore everything is a reflection of your internal state. If you want to change what is happening in your external reality, you have to change inside first. Thatâs why people love to say âchange from the inside outâ or think of it in these terms “As above, so below. As within, so without.”
So if your current external reality is sad, chaotic or unfulfilling it is a direct result of what is happening inside you according to the law of correspondence. If you have low self-esteem, feel badly about yourself or feel hate, anger and loathing all the time then your outer world will be a place of chaos, just to show you what you are projecting.
Now if youâre currently feeling under attacked or offended, it’s okay. Let me explain this through the concept of law and effect which is regularly used in coaching in the field of neuro linguistic programming (NLP) which is a tool I used with my clients.Â
NLP uses perceptual, behavioral, and communication techniques to make it easier for people to change their thoughts and actions.
The concept of cause and effect is this. We ask are you on the cause side of the equation or the effect side. If you are on the cause side you know that everything is happening in your life because of a conscious or subconscious decision you have made. It is a view of personal power whereas if you are on the effect side, life is happening to you and you are the victim, you have no control.
Now what that means in your everyday life is that if you are on the cause side and responsible for your life guess what? You have power you can change your life whereas if you are on the effect side because it is external things causing everything you have no control or ability to change your life.
See the difference? If youâre interested in learning more about cause and effect I have it on my free âmini trainingsâ highlight on my Instagram @thephidang (iâll drop my handle in the show notes if we haven’t already connected).
Therefore the law of correspondence puts you in the drivers seat of your life, you are not a victim of your life.
Remember: Life is happening for you, not to you. How can you grow through your experiences? What do they teach you?
One of my favourite quotes is from Wayne Dyer is:
âWhen you change the way you look at things, the things you look at changeâ
One of the most known and talked about laws of the universe as I mentioned at the beginning of this episode.
Simply distilled the law of attraction explains why certain things, people, events happen in our lives.
Like attracts like.Â
There is a common misconception that this is a scary bad thing where you are punished for your bad thoughts â think of it more as a mirror.
Letâs bring this example into real life.
I want you to stand in front of mirror and I want you to think about what you see, what you think and what you feel when you see yourself in the mirror.
Whatever it is, the very nature of a mirror is that it reflects back to us what we see just like the law of attraction. Think of the mirror as an amplifier of the energy that you are already embodying.
When you look back at your reflection, you are taking in more of the same energy, whether this be positive or negative or whatever it may be. If you see flaws, youâll continue to focus and fixate them which makes it worse OR you can choose to use that focus and energy into improving yourself as an as an example.
How the law of attraction plays out in your real life is to be aware and conscious of the thoughts you are having. Your thoughts have an energy and are a self fulfilling prophecy. Further to that, the law of attraction is the main tenet in manifestation.
Manifestation is bringing something tangible into your life through attraction and belief, i.e. if you think it, it will come. However, there is more to manifestation than willpower and positive thinking, it involves focus and inspired action too.
If you want to learn more about manifestation, I have a free guide available worth $77 called the A-Z of manifestation. Itâs yours free, just jump onto my website phidang.com and sign up for my weekly newsletter.Â
When you sign up youâll immediately receive a download link for the guide. It teaches you basic concepts of manifestation and what you need to know to get started or further advance your current ways. I find i always get spammed with irrelevant and annoying newsletters so I promise i wonât do the same to you – it will be exclusive offers as well as tips and tricks on mindset, self love, energy and purpose not available in this podcast, my website or my instagram.
The Law of Attraction was all about aligning your energy â your vibration, your frequency created from your thoughts. This is the first step in creating all that you desire, manifesting.
The second step is the law of inspired action â to take action. Nothing changes, if nothing changes. You canât sit back want, wish and hope that what you want will come to you. You have to take inspired action for it to happen.
That old saying âActions speak louder than wordsâ has never been truer. Are your actions supporting your desires? Are your actions supporting your dreams and supporting the life you are working so tirelessly to create for yourself? Reflect and assess.
For example if you are single and wanting a relationship, to find a partner â are you going out and meeting people. Are you going on dates? That youâre not just at home watching Netflix and eating ice cream hoping that your perfect partner will waltz through the door?
The subtle secret here is âinspiredâ â it canât feel forced like a âhustleâ when you are taking inspired action it feels good (it might not be easy) but it feels good e.g. in most cases you are driven by your purpose, your why
Where most of us fall down or mistakes on this one is not taking any action at all. Action is better than no action. When you take action you get a result it either works out the way you want or you learn. A win, a win in my eyes.
Most of us know what we want and can figure out how to get what we want but we fail to take action because we are either skeptical, feel unworthy, and not capable of achieving our dreams. At times we may even not take action because we donât want to get out of our comfort zone.
Remember you donât really grow from the comfort zone. For example you could just lie in bed all day, relax, watch TV everyday or you can choose to get up, go to the gym, work on yourself etc. Itâs much easier to stay in bed but nothing really comes of that.
Remember even a small action still counts as action. It doesnât have to be a grand action. In fact itâs better to have consistent inspired action towards your goals and dreams as opposed to big action once in every while. Consistency moves you closer to the needle.
This law is a mouthful but such a great one as it truly affirms how much personal power you have.
As I mentioned at the beginning of the podcast, all the universal laws relate to each other and overlap in ways. The law of perpetual transmutation of energy ties in threads from the previous universal laws we spoke about – the law of vibration, the law of correspondence, the law of attraction.
Particularly, the law of vibration: Nothing is static and everything is always transforming because everything is in constant motion and energy. You are energy therefore you have the power to change any condition in your life.
Therefore you can transmutate everything â negative to positive energy, nothing to something⌠hence The law of perpetual transmutation of energy.
Change is the only constant in life.
Applying this to your life, producing a higher vibration consumes and transforms lower ones. Positive energy is more powerful than negative energy. So you donât have to worry about other peopleâs energy, stay focused and in your energy.
Further to this an example is the transformation of energetic thoughts into physical reality.
1. Your reality are circumstances, they are neutral
2. Your thoughts create create emotion which you feel in your head and throughout your body.
3. How you feel dictates what action or inaction you take which then leads to a result.
Another example is the transmutation of your emotions.
For example, anxious energy can be turned into excitement. Anger can become passion, sexual energy can become creativity.
Note the law of cause and effect is different to cause and effect which I mentioned earlier when explaining the law of correspondence. This is the universal law of cause and effect, not the NLP concept although they do interplay and have the same foundations.
You can think of the law of cause and effect as the principle of karma â what you put out, you will get back.
How this comes to life â ask yourself about the intention of your actions.
Are you truly doing something out of love? Are you truly doing something for nothing in return because you want to give? Are you truly being genuine?
If you are motivated by hate and greed, you plant the seed of suffering; when you are motivated by love and generosity then you create abundance and happiness.
I want to take this analogy further into reality to clearly explain it to you.
If you plant an apple seed, that seed will become a tree that has apples. Even if you really want coconuts, nothing you can do will make the apple tree grow coconuts. The only way to grow coconuts is to plant a coconut seed.
Simply said, âYou reap what you sow.â
Trust that you will be compensated for what you do as long as you are open to receiving in the many ways the universe can deliver.
E.g. when I work with clients and they would like to manifest money â whilst it can happen more often than not it wonât just be a huge lump sum in your bank account. Perhaps it will come in the form of a discount off something you buy, perhaps it will come in a reimbursement or bonus you were not expecting.
Whilst money comes to mind, this does not just apply to money.
Spread more love, and more love will be returned to you.
Spread more happiness, and happiness will be returned to you.
Spread more hate, and more hate will be returned to you.
Spread more wealth, and more wealth will be returned to you.
Be encouraged that with every act, thought, and emotion, you are perpetuating the law of compensation.
Simply distilled, everything is a matter of perception.
Inherently a fundamental principle to understanding this and a core aspect of my coaching is there is nothing âgoodâ or âbadâ. Everything is circumstances and neutral. As humans we create the meaning and labelling of âgoodâ and âbad.â This is extended into something that is deemed âsmallâ vs âbigâ and so forth.
For example, if you are feeling ungrateful for your living situation, it could be because you are comparing to someone elseâs life. Maybe you donât like where you live, or your relationship isnât as great as someone elseâs, maybe someone else has so much more money than you and so forth.
Instead, we’d be better off appreciating what we have without needing to compare it to something else and just remember in your everyday life, you are creating the meaning of everything. You choose whether itâs positive or negative.
Everything in life has an opposite. There is duality in everything.
Light and Dark.
Hot and Cold.
Happy and Sad.
The North and the South Pole
On a battery positive and negative terminals.
Feminine and Masculine.
Newtonâs Third Law of motion sums it up nicely, âFor every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.â It means that energetic forces come in pairs.
How this plays out in everyday life is well
1) The polarities give us perspective and help us appreciate what we have. E.g. you canât have happiness without sadness, if you were happy all the time, you wouldnât know how special it is to be happy all the time or if you had Summer all year round you would take it for granted and miss Winter.
2) You can use the law of polarity to draw other energies to you â like a magnet.
A practical example for you.
If youâre stuck in the negative state of mind, ask yourself: âWhat am I learning from this negative situation and what might be the positives out of this situation I can take?â
For example: A difficult situation and thoughts to move away from might be:
âI made a mistake and I donât think I can bounce back from this.
The positive polarity would be:
âI made a mistake and that is how I learn. Next time this happens, I will know what to doâ
From that positive polarity you are more likely to feel inner peace and acceptance which in turn compels you to continue taking action to improve instead of staying in the negative polarity.
In the negative polarity you feel sad and disappointed in yourself, so the action you take is you keep beating yourself up about it and take no action at all. This ties in closely with the law of inspired action which I spoke about earlier.Â
The law of rhythm is how nothing every stays the same, the universe is continually flowing. Think of it like a pendulum that swings from left to right always continually, perpetually.
Rhythm, Cycles are a natural part of the universe. Look at the ocean tides, weather seasons, moon phases, mating and migration patterns of animals. For women, specifically you can think about your time of the month and menstrual cycle.
As a whole think of it like a year in your life. It wonât be 365 days of summer and it wonât be 365 days of winter. Summer is when we are active, we are doing things whereas Winter gives us a chance to have a break, to rest, to recuperate.
The practicality of this to your life is practice patience, go with the flow of your internal seasons.
We see this unfold as masculine and feminine energies. The masculine as âyangâ and the feminine as âyingâ. Often people think of gender as opposing forces but truly they are complementary. We all hold masculine and feminine energies.
Masculine energy is all about taking action, fixing things, direction, purpose, logic, independence and freedom.
Feminine is the counter balance, itâs all about flow, creativity, inspiration, feeling, intuition and connection.
Distilled down life is a dance of patience (feminine energy) and persistence (masculine energy).
Where I regularly see the law of gender play out with clients in their everyday life is in relationships.
Humans need polarity for attraction. Think of it like a magnet. Intimate connection and sexual attraction will thrive in a relationship where there is a distinct polarity between the energies of the people involved.
The more opposed the individual energies are, the stronger the attraction will be in the relationship.
Most conflicts arise when both partners demonstrate dominant masculine energies in a relationshipâŚThis creates a constant power struggle between the two partners.
Both want to be in charge, both want to be the decision-makers, and both want to have things their way!
I see this in women who are very career oriented and successful. The masculine energy helps them succeed through hustling and control in their work but when it comes to their personal life, masculine energy men can find them controlling or competitive whereas feminine energy men let them do their own thing as they are comfortable with their partner leading, being the bread winner concept etc.
The most stagnant relationship comes from two feminine dominant energies partners where neither takes charge or makes decisions. It is when relationships gets stale â it feels boring, it feels lifeless it feels like itâs lacking fun, adventure and excitement.Â
Remember there are masculine energy women and feminine energy men.
There are lot of universal laws to be mindful of. Understanding the universal laws that govern life can give us clarity and perspective on our lives. How you can conceptualise it and integrate it into your life is unique. Everyone is different.Â
Thank you for listening to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang. I hope youâve learnt something new and Iâll speak to you next week. Catch you soon.
[Episode 03 – Beyond the Law of Attraction, The 12 Universal Laws: Ends]
Are you wanting to find out more about 1:1 Coaching or working with me? Maybe perhaps you want to know more about me. Iâd love to connect with you. You can visit my website phidang.com or connect with me on Instagram @thephidang. Speak to you soon.
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