Purpose

  • 16: Relationships as Mirrors

    Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 16: Relationships as Mirrors

    The final episode of the L💘VE SERIES. This episode is all about the purpose of love. Why do we love? We learn how relationships are a mirror of ourselves and the seven essene mirror principles.

     

    What you'll learn from this episode

    • What is the purpose of love
    • Twin Flames as Mirrors 
    • How relationships are mirrors
    • The importance of mental mirrors and physical mirrors
    • The 7 Essene Mirror Principles

    Key Quotes from this Episode

    Healthy relationships don’t happen by chance, they happen by awakening.

    Phi Dang

    Just like how mirrors in a gym provide a reference point to yourself, relationships are a reference point to yourself internally.

    Phi Dang

    Relationships make you see things in yourself that you might not see if you are single and alone.

    Phi Dang

    Featured Resources on the episode

    The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 16: Relationships As Mirrors

    You are listening to Episode 16 of the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang: Relationships as Mirrors.

    [Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]:

    Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.

    Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.

    My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.”

    My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything.

    Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose.

    This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.

    Ready to grow? Let’s grow!

    [Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro]

    [Episode 16 – Relationships as Mirrors Begins]

    Relationships as Mirrors Introduction

    Hello beautiful soul!

    What a journey it has been for the love series.

    Thank you all for your kind words on the Instagram posts, reels and podcasts so far. I appreciate it so much.

    Thank you all for reaching out to me in the DMs on Instagram, I reply to all my DMs (unless you’re cold selling to me or begging me to follow you back sorry I’m not about that!) and love speaking to each and every one of you.

    Thank you to all my clients, it’s an honour to be part of your life and journey in this very moment. Love and relationships are a key area of my coaching and I am seeing incredible transformations across the board.

    Client Wins in Relationships, Dating and Love

    One of my clients was a self professed crying, heartbroken wreck from an unexpected breakup a few months ago. Two months into our coaching, she attended a party where her ex showed up and she felt like a whole new person – calm, so deeply in love with herself and unaffected by his presence. 

    Another two of my clients have transitioned from casual relationships to committed relationships with their flings and friends with benefits through the incredible work they’ve done working on themselves particularly self love and stepping up through their communication which is amazing, I am so proud of them.

    For my other clients we are working through heartbreak whether that’s moving on from past relationships or breaking up with partners in relationships that no longer serve them. On that I wanted to share, when you do the work and start shifting stagnant energy, don’t be surprised when you find yourself attracted to new energies in your life whether that’s in love, relationships, friendships or your career! I see it happen all the time with myself and my clients.

    If the love series has been really resonating and vibing with you, if my client’s successes are what you want, I invite you to DM me on Instagram – let’s chat about 1:1 coaching and working together. I offer a complementary 45 minute call no strings attached to see if we are the right match for each other, you have nothing to lose, so get it on it beautiful soul – I look forward to speaking with you. 

    The final podcast for the series, the purpose of love

    On today’s episode – I can’t believe we are on our final instalment of the series! We’ve gone from episode 13 on love mindset, to self love on episode 14, to the energetics of love on episode 15 now to ending with the thought around the purpose of love.

    Oh yes we go deep!

    Over the weekend I celebrated a beautiful friend’s birthday and I got speaking to another girl on the trip who is in a place of conflict at the moment.

    She’s not sure about the guy she’s dating. Are they meant to be or not?

    I think we have all been there and then she brings up something interesting.

    He might be her twin flame. 

    It feels like a lifetime ago when I think about twin flames.

    Twin Flames as Mirrors

    I think I met mine at the beginning of my spiritual awakening.

    For those who don’t know what a twin flame is, it’s a very intense soul connection with another to the point you are thought to be another person’s half. The idea of a twin flame is that you are part of one original soul that has been split into two bodies.

    He gave me the book, The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle and the rest is history. In fact I am re reading the book 8 years later and it truly resonates with me now more than ever. To be honest, back then I was only really starting to understand spirituality whereas now I practice it. 

    I fell so deeply and passionately for him but it wasn’t meant to be.

    He was definitely emotionally unavailable and I triggered him big time – especially going through my dad being very ill and passing away. 

    In fact it was very short lived but it served a huge purpose.

    I am so thankful to him that I got to wake up before my dad passed and to share with him I finally understood all the consciousness principles he would speak about long before I even knew what it meant to be awake and conscious. 

    I’ve always been under the belief that we are not meant to be with our twin flames in a lifetime, rather they are a mirror to yourself. A catalyst for your soul growth.

    I believe relationships are some of our biggest spiritual assignment. Healthy relationships don’t happen by chance, they happen by awakening.

    Relationships are reference points

    Relationships make you see things in yourself that you might not see if you are single and alone. You have no reference point. Others can give us a reference point in fact from the beginning of our lives our parents do.

    “You’re such a good girl or boy”

    “You are growing so quickly”

    “It was only yesterday you were a baby!”

    This brings us to today’s episode which is all about relationships as mirrors.

    The purpose of mirrors

    When you go to the gym, there are so many mirrors around. So why all the mirrors?

    Well, for one you can see your form, your technique, if you are doing something properly.

    Two, it’s an ego boost right? Right in front of you, you can see how your body is shaping, yes looking good girl and what your body looks like when you’re working out.

    Just like how mirrors in a gym provide a reference point to yourself, relationships are a reference point to yourself internally. 

    Every relationship we have is a mirror whether it’s romantic or not, whether you are single or not.

    This means your friend, your sibling, your family, your partner, your colleague and so forth. 

    What do you mean a mirror?

    What do I mean by a mirror?

    Well, every quality you see in another whether you like it or not, is a reflection of yourself. Attitudes, behaviours, beliefs, values, programming. In order to recognise a certain quality, you must be able to see it within yourself. What the mirror reflects, you may be aware or unaware of within yourself.

    Once you do the work and you’re aware, you can’t just stop there. It’s one thing to be aware and it’s another thing to do the damn work! If you don’t like what you see in the mirror, don’t get mad at the mirror, clean the mirror.

    And here’s some even deeper insight for you.

    We subconsciously seek out what we need to heal in ourselves in relationships so you can be at ease with mistakes you’ve made. It’s okay, in fact they needed to happen, to teach you, to wake you up no matter how many you make. 

    My personal example of mirroring in relationships

    After all I needed to make mistakes and learn so much when I was single for 8 years!

    A personal example I share with you is that I used to date all the wrong people. In these relationships I felt lonely – I didn’t feel like my needs were being met and I felt unheard. It would be so difficult for them to make time for me or consider me a priority in their life. I felt unworthy when they would not commit to a relationship with me or introduce me to their friends. 

    This pattern would play out for many years, I suspected it had something to do with me but I didn’t do the work. I just scratched upon the surface.

    After doing the work and having a coach, I realised that this all reflected my relationship with myself. 

    I didn’t meet my own needs – I never vocalised what I wanted and I wanted someone else to meet my needs for me. Make me feel loved, special and worthy. I didn’t make myself a priority, I would value their time and bend over backwards to make their schedule work with mine. 

    Oh they can’t meet up that day but can do this day? Ahh! I was meant to meet up with this friend, but if I do, I won’t be able to see them so I’d bail on my friend to see them. A big no no! 

    The commitment phobeness? I wasn’t committed to myself and my growth. I was emotionally unavailable, looking for love where deep down I knew I wouldn’t find someone to reciprocate it because if they did I wasn’t ready. They served as a distraction to needing to love myself, needing to be vulnerable with myself. 

    A two way mirror

    Not only that, mirrors aren’t confined they are two way. What you pick up in a business situation may play itself out in the context of a relationship. For example if you find it hard to ask for a pay rise at work, you may find it hard to ask someone for commitment in a relationship. 

    The Seven Essene Mirrors

    To further delve in to the work of relationships and mirrors is to see it from the seven essene mirrors. 

    The ancient Essenes who’s work are the mirrors, are an ancient Jewish group who are the authors of the Dead Sea Scrolls. The Egyptians called them healers back in the day. 

    Their ancient teachings on the following seven mirrors teach us about how our experiences and relationships reflect different aspects of our selves.

    1. The mirror of the moment

    In another, you see yourself in the present moment. What is going on in your inner world now reflects in your outer world. For example if you feel chaotic inside, your reality will be chaotic on the outside.

    2. The mirror of that which is judged

    In another, you see your own biases and judgement particularly big, energetically charged and emotional reactions.

    3. The mirror of which is lost, given away or taken away

    In another, what can you recognise that you have lost, given away or had taken from yourself? This is to do with your relationship with yourself. 

    By seeing what you lose you may be very attracted out his person because they have what you now want and used to have. 

    It will make you confront your regret perhaps around being ungrateful. It could be innocence, kindness, respect, love, compassion, honesty. All of which you think you have lost can be reclaimed.

    4. The mirror of forgotten love

    In another you see a past way of life or an unfinished relationship. This is where we see patterns repeating themselves over and over, particularly compulsive or addictive behaviours. These usually replay over and over until you learn what you need to know and see what you need to see.

    5. The mirror of mother/father

    In another, you can see the unconscious imprinting of your parents – behaviours, beliefs that aren’t yours to begin with. How are you acting in ways that your parents would have in this situation?

    6. The mirror of your quest into darkness

    In another, you can see the most feared aspects of self worth, trust, abandonment and loneliness. This mirror is all about the challenging and dark times in your life. An experience we know as the ‘dark knight of the soul’ Knowing that it is happening for a reason, for your growth. 

    To trust in yourself that you will find the way and come out stronger, wiser. I found this one harder to explain conceptually so to further share I truly experienced this when I lost my dad. I found myself in a very dark place and would pick up on the darkness in others which I saw in myself. 

    This experience deeply changed me as a person, my perception to life in the best way and has helped me help my clients as I am able to hold space for them, I don’t fear the darkness or shadow parts they see in themselves because I also can see it in myself.  

    7. The mirror of self perception

    In another, you can see how you are. Others will perceive you and treat you according to how you perceive and treat yourself.

    If you are have low self esteem and fail to see the good in yourself, you’ll find others struggling to as well.

    If you are angry, bitter and unloving towards yourself, you’ll find others treating you so.

    The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 16: Relationships As Mirrors Close

    This episode definitely calls for self reflection.

    What is the mirror of your life revealing to you – circumstances which are happening, relationships in your life.

    In the mirror of the moment, here in life it self, this ver moment – are you here now?

    If you are looking to further develop your relationship with yourself and others, get in touch with me and let’s chat about working together through 1:1 coaching. 

    Have a fantastic week ahead beautiful soul, speak to you next Tuesday. Love and Positivity.

    [Episode 16 – Mirrors as Relationships Outro]

    Are you wanting to find out more about 1:1 Coaching or working with me? Maybe perhaps you want to know more about me. I’d love to connect with you. You can visit my website phidang.com or connect with me on Instagram @thephidang. Speak to you soon.

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  • 09: How to Create and Have Success in 2021

    Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 09: How to Create and Have Success in 2021

    Learn about the #1 Mistake people make when it comes to success in addition to practical tips and strategies on how to create and have success. I also do a Q&A on all things success from how to stay motivated, being successful during times of uncertainty and a lack of resources such as money when it comes to having success.

    What you'll learn from this episode

    • The #1 Mistake People Make When it Comes to Creating Change and Success
    • Why Getting Started is Always the Hardest 
    • Why There is No Such Thing As Success Without Failure
    • How to Achieve Your Goals and Success
    • Habit Stacking
    • How to Prioritise Your Goals and Success
    • How to Stay Motivated To Hit Your Goals
    • How to Achieve Your Goals and Be Successful during Times of Uncertainty
    • How to Achieve Your Goals and Be Successful without Resources such as Money

    Key Quotes from this Episode

    Don’t let others or society define it for you, figure out what success is for you.

    Phi Dang

    The outer world is a reflection of your inner world.

    Phi Dang

    You can create the reality and results you want. But guess what? You aren’t entitled to that without doing the work.

    Phi Dang

    Featured Resources on the episode

    The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 09: How to Create and Have Success in 2021 - Show Transcript

    You are listening to episode 9 of the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang: How to Create and Have Success in 2021.

    [Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]:

    Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.

    Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.

    My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.”

    My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything.

    Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose.

    This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.

    Ready to grow? Let’s grow!

    [Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro]

    [Episode 09 – How to Create and Have Success in 2021 Begins]

    Hello beautiful souls.

    Happy 2021! 

    This is going to be your best year yet, I just know it. 

    If anyone hasn’t told you already, I have full faith in you.

    I have full faith because you are here, listening to the first episode for 2021 of the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang. 

    By doing this, you are intentionally setting time aside for you. 

    To work on yourself, to create success for yourself – so congratulations, I’m proud of you! 

    A mindset open to learning and prioritising their self development and growth is always going to be successful.

    People like you, are the people I love to work with in my 1:1 coaching program. 

    If you are the type of person who loves personal development through books, courses and podcasts and you are ready for the next step, to supercharge and accelerate your growth, let’s chat – I have limited 1:1 coaching spots left for this first quarter of this year as I am so happy to have 3 of you beautiful souls join me last week! 

    Now as you gathered from the title, this podcast is all about creating and having a successful 2021. 

    In this modern day and age, we know that success looks different to everyone, it’s a matter of defining your success. For some it will be money, for others it will be a running a huge marathon.

    Don’t let others or society define it for you, figure out what success is for you.

    When we talk success, in this episode its in the framework of achieving your goals because I know goals are at the top of many people’s minds when it come to a new year.

    Now I also know a lot of other podcasts and all the freebies, motivational speakers and influencers talk about how to create successful goals, for me that’s something that I do with my 1:1 coaching clients as it’s very personal. This podcast will focus more on the journey of achieving goals and your success. 

    So let’s begin.

    The #1 Mistake People Make When it Comes to Creating Change and Success

    I want to lay down for you a foundational base for creating success. To do that I want to first of all address the #1 mistake people make when it comes to creating change based on my experience as a life coach with clients from all over the world.

    People try to change their reality by changing the outside world.

    This is a thought error.

    The outside world is just circumstances.

    Circumstances are neutral.

    The factor that will truly shift and create change for you is your thoughts. 

    Your thoughts cause your feelings.

    Your feelings cause your actions.

    Your actions cause your results.

    So to truly change anything it begins in your thoughts because your thoughts are in your control.

    If you don’t agree with my statement, you have work to do. 

    If you don’t understand why, let’s chat because this is the realm I work within as a life coach.

    Most people go around this world on auto-pilot dangerously in their mind. They believe whatever goes on in their brain and they don’t intentionally choose their thoughts!

    When you don’t intentionally choose your thoughts, you choose to believe the negativity that goes in on your mind that’s formed over years of subconscious programming.

    Then you go around life not knowing why you feel bad on a regular basis and you don’t know what to do with those thoughts. The lines become blurry. You don’t know how to change your thought process or how to process your emotions.

    It’s not a surprise and it’s not your fault. We don’t learn about this at school, at university or even in our jobs.

    We only truly learn about this when we work on ourselves through personal development, when we invest in a coach.

    Your thoughts are your inner work.

    The outer world is a reflection of your inner world.

    For example if you have a chaotic mind, you’ll find more often than not a messy, disorganised home.

    If you’re finding it hard to find love, it’s because you don’t truly love yourself.

    If you’re finding it hard to make money, it’s because you have a scarcity mindset.

    Trying to change your reality by changing the outside world, is like trying to change white wine to red wine by adding food colouring. 

    If you want actual change, you have to go to the source.

    If you want the wine to actually change, you have to use a different variety of grapes.

    If you want your reality to change, you have to fo the source: you, your thoughts. 

    Zero to One

    In the journey for change and success, the first step is always the hardest.

    First of all, when you want to do something new, you’re starting at zero.

    You have no track record or experience.

    You have no momentum.

    There’s nothing.

    More than anything, it takes determination, energy and effort to go from zero to one than it does to get to get from any other steps after that.

    After that, every step is easier than the first.

    You can achieve the goals you set.

    You can create the reality and results you want.

    But guess what? You aren’t entitled to that without doing the work.

    You have the do the work.

    You have to earn your results.

    Now zero to one is the hardest but don’t let that stop you.

    You can do hard things.

    You were made for hard things.

    There is no such thing as success without failure

    We cannot discuss success without failure.

    Guess what, success and failure go hand in hand.

    You can’t choose whether you will succeed or fail because failure is always going to be a part of success. You can only choose what kind of failure you are going to have.

    The only real failure in my eyes is to not try at all or to use it as an excuse to quit.

    Further to this, allow yourself to grow. Give yourself permission to grow.

    When you plant seeds in the garden, you don’t check every day to see if they have instantly bloomed.

    You simply water them everyday, clear the weeds and know that in time they will grow.

    Breathe easy beautiful soul, it will happen – let things unfold as they are meant to.

    How do you achieve your goals?

    If anyone tells you there’s a secret to making it happen, there isn’t.

    There’s no magic formula or button, it truly is just doing the work.

    It is overwhelming to go from 0 to 100 but it’s much easier to go from 0 to 1 to 2 to 3.

    The key to success is consistency and knowing that every little bit counts even just 1%.

    The pain you feel today, becomes the strength of your tomorrow 

    What can you do everyday to get you one step closer to your goal?

    Think of success like a ladder.

    To get to the top of the ladder sure you could leap from 0 to 4 rungs or even jump from rung 3 to rung 7 but when you do that, not only is it harder and requires more energy, you may fall in the process of doing so.

    Consistency on the ladder is going up steadily one rung at a time..

    Accountability

    Further to this, let us sprinkle accountability into the mix.

    How different is it when you write down a goal in your journal and tell no one vs have a life coach checking in with you weekly asking if you’ve done what you needed to do that week to make your goal happen and post about your goal openly on social media?

    Very different right?

    Studies have shown that when you share your goals with others, you are twice as likely to achieve them than if you keep the goals to yourself. 

    When you don’t share your goals in some way, you aren’t truly committed to them. It’s very easy to give up because it’s like they never really existed.

    Another reason why accountability works is well we are human and we want to save face.

    Your reputation is on the line to loved ones, to people you know, to strangers on the internet. You want to fulfil the expectations that others have of you. 

    A life coach is worth the investment as there isn’t the strain of telling a loved one or friend. A coach does not judge, scold or blame, your coach is there to support you every step of the way, help you develop strategies to overcome obstacles and help you realise what works for you and what does not.

    So far everything I’ve discussed cements the fact that success is not an accident.

    Success is intentional.

    Habits play deeply into success as they account for about 40 percent of our behaviours on any given day. 

    Let’s pause for a moment to consider this.

    Almost half of the things you do on any day isn’ a result of conscious decisions but behaviours that you have repeated so many times they have become more or less automatic. 

    You no longer think about them, there’s no mind drama, you just do them.

    It has been widely said that it takes 21 days to make a habit, so I’m not going to go into this.

    Rather I want to introduce the concept of habit stacking with you

    Habit Stacking

    Habit stacking uses the habits you already have and using the power of connection to create new habits.

    It makes sense right, you’ve already done something so much it’s almost auto pilot – if you use that as a foundational base to make a new habit, it’s more likely to stick.

    Habit stacking goes like this

    After or Before [CURRENT HABIT], I will [NEW HABIT].

    Simple examples could be:

    Before I eat breakfast, I will write down 3 things I am grateful for.

    After I brush my teeth, I will take a minute to meditate.

    Before I check my phone in the morning, I will stretch for 5 minutes. 

    So when I discussed the topic of goal setting and success on my Instagram you beautiful souls had a variety questions that I would like to answer. A Q&A a on goal setting and success.

    How do you prioritise your goals and success?

    When it comes to prioritising, think of it like this.

    Everyone in the world has 24 hours including Beyonce, Oprah, Elon Musk. What are you doing with every hour you get?

    Is what you are doing helping you get closer to your goal? 

    Another useful tool is to use a decision matrix, how important is the task and how urgent is the task? 

    How do you stay motivated towards your goals and success?

    Always know your purpose.

    A great exercise for this is something I learnt from The Life Coach school. It’s called the 3-2-1 method.

    Everyday write down your goal followed by 3 reasons why it is important to you, 2 reasons why you are equiped to make it happen and 1 thing you’ll do today to move closer to making it happen.

    If you’re struggling to understand the purpose of your goal, use the 5 whys technique. 

    Ask yourself why, 5 times until you distill it down.

    For example:

    I want to get fit

    1st why? To be skinnier

    2nd why? So I can fit into my clothes

    3rd why? So I can wear the new clothes I bought

    4th why? These new clothes make me feel attractive and confident

    5th why? They show off my figure. I want to feel attractive and confident to call in a relationship into my life. To feel so much love not only for my partner but for me too.

    Realise this, when you chase a goal you’re chasing the feeling you get by achieving the goal. Most of the time it’s about feeling good.

    The great thing about feelings is you can also conjure up feelings by recalling memories right?

    If you want to feel happy, think about times where you have felt so much joy, you were laughing.

    If you want to feel sad, think about times where you have experienced heart ache and pain.

    If you want to feel confident, think about times where you felt at your best.

    Let’s tie this into achieving our goals and the realm of success.

    Let’s time leap and think about the you who achieves your goals this year.

    What does the future you who achieved your goal think?

    How does the future you who achieved your goal feel?

    What does the future you do?

    Taste it for a moment.

    Your subconscious can’t help but latch on and work in the background to find a way to make it happen.

    Not only that, how do you embody future you right now?

    What about achieving your goals and having success during times of uncertainty?

    Life is always going to be changing, change is the only constant.

    No matter what you need to have confidence in yourself.

    When you are confident in yourself, it doesn’t matter what is happening in the external world.

    The outside world doesn’t define who you are and what you can do, you do.

    Your job doesn’t define you, how much money you make, your relationship, how much you do, you do.

    You control your thoughts, you control your belief, you control your decisions.

    You know you can do hard things.

    You know you will find a way to make it happen.

    You know that you will figure it out.

    Self confidence is having belief in yourself.

    It’s taking the leap through the faith.

    Is reality controlling you or are you making the most of the current reality? 

    Think about this analogy, that you are at a casino playing blackjack.

    Whatever cards you get, your goal is to win. 

    You can’t control the cards you are being dealt, but what you do with those cards you control that. You also control your appearance, do you look confident with your hand or are you truly confident with your hand. Do you look defeated by your cards but secretly you know you have been dealt amazing cards?

    That doesn’t mean you’ll always win with every hand but thats okay right? Just because you lose one round doesn’t make you a terrible player. Just because you’ve been losing consistently doesn’t mean you’ll always lose. The tides turn. After all you can win big in just one round and leave.

    What if I don't have enough resources to make my goals happen and be successful?

    This one really ties into a scarcity vs abundance mindset.

    Scarcity says why is this happening to me. Abundance says what is here for me.

    Focus on what you do have, when you notice the good things in your life, you can’t help but feel more abundant. 

    An abundant mindset looks for opportunities and understands the more you give, the more you will get.

    For example, if it’s money – the most incredible thing of our time is the internet. There are SO many free resources out there. In exchange for money, you may exchange time because you need to filter out all the information to find out work best for you, you need to try and learn along the way.

    Instead of I can’t afford that, think how can I afford that.

    Are you conscious of where your current resources are going? Your time, your effort, your energy?

    Most of the time we think we are but we can’t account for minute to minute of our time or dollar to dollar. 

    This truly is a hard one but I truly understand. 

    In 2020 I spent $10,000 on my self development during a global pandemic. What I realised though is I had more money than I thought. The money that I used to use on frivolous things like new clothes, Ubers, dining out and takeaway was now funding my development as a life coach through taking courses and having my own coaches.

    The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 09: How to Create and Have Success in 2021 - Close

    This episode has been like a mini intensive on how to set yourself up for success in 2021. 

    I wanted to close this episode with some quotes and food for thought.

    “There is no elevator to success, you have to take the stairs.”

    “The road to success and the road to failure are almost exactly the same.”

    “Successful people do what unsuccessful people are not willing to do. Don’t wish it were easier; wish you were better.”

     “If you are not willing to risk the usual, you will have to settle for the ordinary.”

    “I never dreamed about success, I worked for it.”

    Thank you so much for listening to this episode on creating success in 2021. I am so excited for all the things to come this year. Watch this space! If you have any episode suggestions, please get in touch as I’m always looking for new ideas to explore.

    Not only that, as I mentioned earlier, I have limited 1:1 coaching spots left so if you are interested and want me by your side in 2021, let’s chat, I would love to help you.

    I hope you all have an absolutely incredible 2021 full of joy and success.

    Love and positivity, chat to you next Tuesday.

    [Episode 09 – How to Create and Have Success in 2021 Ends]

    Are you wanting to find out more about 1:1 Coaching or working with me? Maybe perhaps you want to know more about me. I’d love to connect with you. You can visit my website phidang.com or connect with me on Instagram @thephidang. Speak to you soon.

    Click here to read more

  • 03: Beyond the Law of Attraction, The 12 Universal Laws

    Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang, 03: Beyond The Law of Attraction, The 12 Universal Laws

    In this episode I explain the 12 universal laws of the Universe. I cover how they impact your life and how you can use them in your daily life through practical examples. It goes beyond the Law of Attraction and covers ones you may have never heard of such as the Law of Correspondence and the Law of Perpetual Transmutation of Energy.

    What you'll learn from this episode

    (01:40) – What are the Universal Laws?
    (03:15) – The Universal Laws

    Key Quotes from this Episode

    Featured Resources on the episode

    Show Transcript

    [Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]:

    Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.

    Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.

    My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.”

    My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything.

    Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose.

    This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.

    Ready to grow? Let’s grow!

    [Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro]

    [Episode 03 – Beyond the Law of Attraction, The 12 Universal Laws: Begins]

    Hi Beautiful Souls, it’s great to connect with you again! I’m sure most of you listening have heard of the Law of Attraction? Distilled simply the law of attraction is that like attracts like. It is often brought up in relation to your thoughts. Positive thoughts attract positive outcomes, negative thoughts attract negative outcomes. 

    Whilst the Law of Attraction is well known due to its popularity in the media through books and documentaries such as The Secret, in this episode we go beyond the Law of Attraction and cover all 12 Laws of the Universe. Yes there are 12 laws of the universe! The Law of attraction co exists and works with these 11 other Laws.

    So what are the universal laws? You can think of them as the law of nature, how life is ‘set up’ in a way. They are a roadmap on how to live your best life. The laws work in our favour, we work with them – they are not here as punishments and they are not here to stop us from living our best life. We co create with them. You co create with the universe your reality. Note it can be said the universe is interchangeable with terms such as the source, creation, God, divinity and so forth.

    This is a quote from the ancient text The Kybalion, where the origins of the 12 universal laws stem from amongst other ancient teachings across time.

    For the most part of the laws, the basic principle revolves around energy because everything in the universe is energy.

    To many it sounds like ‘woo’ – vibrations, frequency however I promise you I will explain everything in clear and practical terms so you can truly understand the 12 universal laws.

    As you gain a fuller understanding of the laws, you will see how they are all related, they overlap each other and govern the world we live in.

    Another perspective you can have on the universal laws is that we can call it the game of life or we can call it the Matrix! Just like the movie. You can think of it as that we are living in the Matrix! And just like the Matrix, there are rules in how you play the game. Your purpose in this game is to be your best self, to grow and evolve.

    So let’s dive into the 12 Universal Laws.

    Law of the Universe 01: The Law of Divine Oneness

    The first and most foundational law of the universe is the Law of Divine Oneness, which highlights how everything is interconnected. For us humans it goes beyond perception of physicality (what we can see and touch), into our senses and extends to every thought, action, belief you have too. Think of it as a ripple effect.

    This is further extended in the notion we all come from one source origin which I alluded to earlier at the beginning of the podcast by saying ‘The Universe’ is an interchangeable term, it is also known as ‘the source’, divinity, consciousness, God etc.

    As a result, the law of divine oneness can be distilled as “what you wish upon others, you wish upon yourself”

    When you hurt someone, you are hurting yourself.

    You know how when you go to a yoga class they always say namaste? Namaste encapsulates this concept.

    Originally a Sanskrit word (the ancient language in Hinduism) namaste is composed of two parts—“namas” which means “bend to,” “bow to” or “honour to,” and “te” means “to you.” So Namaste means “I bow to you.” This phrase when said is often accompanied by the gesture of joining two palms together, placing them at the heart level and bowing one’s head while saying namaste.

    The spiritual meaning of namaste conveys that “the divine in me respectfully recognizes the divine in you.” Namaste invokes the feeling of spiritual oneness of heart and mind, with the person one is greeting.

    So in practical terms how does the law of Divine Oneness apply to your daily life?

    It really speaks to the power of working together in cooperation with others and to be of help and services to others. I have an analogy to showcase this for you.

    When you have a single brick, what can you do with it? Not much right, perhaps as a door stop or a very heavy paper weight.

    However if you have over a million bricks, you have so many possibilities. These bricks can be used to build a house, a hospital, a school, a business, a fireplace, driveways, a chimney and so forth. In order for this to happen all the bricks work together to create something incredible, something a single brick could never do. 

    Each individual brick is useful and important in itself but it becomes even more important and useful together with all the other bricks. Individual bricks become the support for another brick.

    So in your life, are you working alone and for your own interest? Can you help others to become greater than you are alone? Are you truly unlocking your full potential alone? Imagine you could share your skills and knowledge with others, what incredible things would happen, not only for yourself but everyone around you and connected with you?

    Law of the Universe 02: The Law of Vibration

    Vibrations used to be one of those things that was relegated to new age thinking, hippies, ‘woo’ along with healing crystals and so forth.

    Today, quantum physics, science backs the fact that vibrations exist. In fact they exist everywhere and in everything, in the chair you may be sitting on, on the ground you are running on, in your forks and plates.

    Everything in the universe is energy and in turn everything has a vibration.

    Even Einstein himself said this:

    What Einstein says has heavy weight, after all he is the physicist who developed the theory of relativity, one of the two pillars of modern physics.

    How this applies to you in your daily life is realizing every thought, feeling, emotion has a vibrational frequency.

    Have you heard of these sayings? They embody the Law of Vibration.

    Speaking of frequency a real life example of this is your emotions. Emotions are energy in motion. Each emotion has a different frequency for example love is a high frequency whereas shame is a low frequency.

    How do you raise your vibrational frequency? 

    There are various ways to do this in your life including being conscious of your thoughts, meditating, practicing kindness and gratitude, swim in the ocean, do not saying yes to something unless you really want to, dance, decluttering, earthing (when you walk barefoot on the grass, check out my blog on my website phidang.com where I discuss this in an article 7 Unexpected Life-Changing Things I learnt on a Silent Retreat in Bali. I’ll drop the link in the show notes.

    Law of the Universe 03: The Law of Correspondence

    This law of correspondence is all about patterns that repeat throughout the universe, and on a personal level, our reality is a mirror of what’s happening inside us at that moment.

    Therefore everything is a reflection of your internal state. If you want to change what is happening in your external reality, you have to change inside first. That’s why people love to say ‘change from the inside out’ or think of it in these terms “As above, so below. As within, so without.”

    So if your current external reality is sad, chaotic or unfulfilling it is a direct result of what is happening inside you according to the law of correspondence. If you have low self-esteem, feel badly about yourself or feel hate, anger and loathing all the time then your outer world will be a place of chaos, just to show you what you are projecting.

    Now if you’re currently feeling under attacked or offended, it’s okay. Let me explain this through the concept of law and effect which is regularly used in coaching in the field of neuro linguistic programming (NLP) which is a tool I used with my clients. 

    NLP uses perceptual, behavioral, and communication techniques to make it easier for people to change their thoughts and actions.

    The concept of cause and effect is this. We ask are you on the cause side of the equation or the effect side. If you are on the cause side you know that everything is happening in your life because of a conscious or subconscious decision you have made. It is a view of personal power whereas if you are on the effect side, life is happening to you and you are the victim, you have no control.

    Now what that means in your everyday life is that if you are on the cause side and responsible for your life guess what? You have power you can change your life whereas if you are on the effect side because it is external things causing everything you have no control or ability to change your life.

    See the difference? If you’re interested in learning more about cause and effect I have it on my free ‘mini trainings’ highlight on my Instagram @thephidang (i’ll drop my handle in the show notes if we haven’t already connected).

    Therefore the law of correspondence puts you in the drivers seat of your life, you are not a victim of your life.

    Remember: Life is happening for you, not to you. How can you grow through your experiences? What do they teach you?

    One of my favourite quotes is from Wayne Dyer is:

    Law of the Universe 04: The Law of Attraction

    One of the most known and talked about laws of the universe as I mentioned at the beginning of this episode.

    Simply distilled the law of attraction explains why certain things, people, events happen in our lives.

    Like attracts like. 

    There is a common misconception that this is a scary bad thing where you are punished for your bad thoughts – think of it more as a mirror.

    Let’s bring this example into real life.

    I want you to stand in front of mirror and I want you to think about what you see, what you think and what you feel when you see yourself in the mirror.

    Whatever it is, the very nature of a mirror is that it reflects back to us what we see just like the law of attraction. Think of the mirror as an amplifier of the energy that you are already embodying.

    When you look back at your reflection, you are taking in more of the same energy, whether this be positive or negative or whatever it may be. If you see flaws, you’ll continue to focus and fixate them which makes it worse OR you can choose to use that focus and energy into improving yourself as an as an example.

    How the law of attraction plays out in your real life is to be aware and conscious of the thoughts you are having. Your thoughts have an energy and are a self fulfilling prophecy. Further to that, the law of attraction is the main tenet in manifestation.

    Manifestation is bringing something tangible into your life through attraction and belief, i.e. if you think it, it will come. However, there is more to manifestation than willpower and positive thinking, it involves focus and inspired action too.

    If you want to learn more about manifestation, I have a free guide available worth $77 called the A-Z of manifestation. It’s yours free, just jump onto my website phidang.com and sign up for my weekly newsletter

    When you sign up you’ll immediately receive a download link for the guide. It teaches you basic concepts of manifestation and what you need to know to get started or further advance your current ways. I find i always get spammed with irrelevant and annoying newsletters so I promise i won’t do the same to you – it will be exclusive offers as well as tips and tricks on mindset, self love, energy and purpose not available in this podcast, my website or my instagram.

    Law of the Universe 05: The Law of Inspired Action

    The Law of Attraction was all about aligning your energy – your vibration, your frequency created from your thoughts. This is the first step in creating all that you desire, manifesting.

    The second step is the law of inspired action – to take action. Nothing changes, if nothing changes. You can’t sit back want, wish and hope that what you want will come to you. You have to take inspired action for it to happen.

    That old saying ‘Actions speak louder than words’ has never been truer. Are your actions supporting your desires? Are your actions supporting your dreams and supporting the life you are working so tirelessly to create for yourself? Reflect and assess.

    For example if you are single and wanting a relationship, to find a partner – are you going out and meeting people. Are you going on dates? That you’re not just at home watching Netflix and eating ice cream hoping that your perfect partner will waltz through the door?

    The subtle secret here is ‘inspired’ – it can’t feel forced like a ‘hustle’ when you are taking inspired action it feels good (it might not be easy) but it feels good e.g. in most cases you are driven by your purpose, your why

    Where most of us fall down or mistakes on this one is not taking any action at all. Action is better than no action. When you take action you get a result it either works out the way you want or you learn. A win, a win in my eyes.

    Most of us know what we want and can figure out how to get what we want but we fail to take action because we are either skeptical, feel unworthy, and not capable of achieving our dreams. At times we may even not take action because we don’t want to get out of our comfort zone. 

    Remember you don’t really grow from the comfort zone. For example you could just lie in bed all day, relax, watch TV everyday or you can choose to get up, go to the gym, work on yourself etc. It’s much easier to stay in bed but nothing really comes of that.

    Remember even a small action still counts as action. It doesn’t have to be a grand action. In fact it’s better to have consistent inspired action towards your goals and dreams as opposed to big action once in every while. Consistency moves you closer to the needle. 

    Law of the Universe 06: The Law of Perpetual Transmutation of Energy

    This law is a mouthful but such a great one as it truly affirms how much personal power you have.

    As I mentioned at the beginning of the podcast, all the universal laws relate to each other and overlap in ways. The law of perpetual transmutation of energy ties in threads from the previous universal laws we spoke about – the law of vibration, the law of correspondence, the law of attraction.

    Particularly, the law of vibration: Nothing is static and everything is always transforming because everything is in constant motion and energy. You are energy therefore you have the power to change any condition in your life.

    Therefore you can transmutate everything – negative to positive energy, nothing to something… hence The law of perpetual transmutation of energy.

    Change is the only constant in life.

    Applying this to your life, producing a higher vibration consumes and transforms lower ones. Positive energy is more powerful than negative energy.  So you don’t have to worry about other people’s energy, stay focused and in your energy.

    Further to this an example is the transformation of energetic thoughts into physical reality.

    1. Your reality are circumstances, they are neutral

    2. Your thoughts create create emotion which you feel in your head and throughout your body.

    3. How you feel dictates what action or inaction you take which then leads to a result.

    Another example is the transmutation of your emotions.

    For example, anxious energy can be turned into excitement. Anger can become passion, sexual energy can become creativity.

    Law of the Universe 07: The Law of Cause and Effect

    Note the law of cause and effect is different to cause and effect which I mentioned earlier when explaining the law of correspondence. This is the universal law of cause and effect, not the NLP concept although they do interplay and have the same foundations.

    You can think of the law of cause and effect as the principle of karma – what you put out, you will get back.

    How this comes to life – ask yourself about the intention of your actions.

    Are you truly doing something out of love? Are you truly doing something for nothing in return because you want to give? Are you truly being genuine?

    If you are motivated by hate and greed, you plant the seed of suffering; when you are motivated by love and generosity then you create abundance and happiness.

    I want to take this analogy further into reality to clearly explain it to you.

    If you plant an apple seed, that seed will become a tree that has apples. Even if you really want coconuts, nothing you can do will make the apple tree grow coconuts. The only way to grow coconuts is to plant a coconut seed.

    Law of the Universe 08: The Law of Compensation

    Simply said, ”You reap what you sow.”

    Trust that you will be compensated for what you do as long as you are open to receiving in the many ways the universe can deliver.

    E.g. when I work with clients and they would like to manifest money – whilst it can happen more often than not it won’t just be a huge lump sum in your bank account. Perhaps it will come in the form of a discount off something you buy, perhaps it will come in a reimbursement or bonus you were not expecting.

    Whilst money comes to mind, this does not just apply to money.

    Spread more love, and more love will be returned to you.

    Spread more happiness, and happiness will be returned to you.

    Spread more hate, and more hate will be returned to you.

    Spread more wealth, and more wealth will be returned to you.

    Be encouraged that with every act, thought, and emotion, you are perpetuating the law of compensation.

    Law of the Universe 09: The Law of Relativity

    Simply distilled, everything is a matter of perception.

    Inherently a fundamental principle to understanding this and a core aspect of my coaching is there is nothing ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Everything is circumstances and neutral. As humans we create the meaning and labelling of ‘good’ and ‘bad.’ This is extended into something that is deemed ‘small’ vs ‘big’ and so forth.

    For example, if you are feeling ungrateful for your living situation, it could be because you are comparing to someone else’s life. Maybe you don’t like where you live, or your relationship isn’t as great as someone else’s, maybe someone else has so much more money than you and so forth.

    Instead, we’d be better off appreciating what we have without needing to compare it to something else and just remember in your everyday life, you are creating the meaning of everything. You choose whether it’s positive or negative.

    Law of the Universe 10: The Law of Polarity

    Everything in life has an opposite. There is duality in everything.

    Light and Dark.
    Hot and Cold.
    Happy and Sad.
    The North and the South Pole
    On a battery positive and negative terminals.
    Feminine and Masculine.

    Newton’s Third Law of motion sums it up nicely, “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” It means that energetic forces come in pairs.

    How this plays out in everyday life is well

    1) The polarities give us perspective and help us appreciate what we have. E.g. you can’t have happiness without sadness, if you were happy all the time, you wouldn’t know how special it is to be happy all the time or if you had Summer all year round you would take it for granted and miss Winter.

    2) You can use the law of polarity to draw other energies to you – like a magnet.

    A practical example for you.

    If you’re stuck in the negative state of mind, ask yourself: “What am I learning from this negative situation and what might be the positives out of this situation I can take?”

    For example: A difficult situation and thoughts to move away from might be:

    “I made a mistake and I don’t think I can bounce back from this.

    The positive polarity would be:

    “I made a mistake and that is how I learn. Next time this happens, I will know what to do”

    From that positive polarity you are more likely to feel inner peace and acceptance which in turn compels you to continue taking action to improve instead of staying in the negative polarity.

    In the negative polarity you feel sad and disappointed in yourself, so the action you take is you keep beating yourself up about it and take no action at all. This ties in closely with the law of inspired action which I spoke about earlier. 

    Law of the Universe 11: The Law of Rhythm

    The law of rhythm is how nothing every stays the same, the universe is continually flowing. Think of it like a pendulum that swings from left to right always continually, perpetually.

    Rhythm, Cycles are a natural part of the universe. Look at the ocean tides, weather seasons, moon phases, mating and migration patterns of animals. For women, specifically you can think about your time of the month and menstrual cycle.

    As a whole think of it like a year in your life. It won’t be 365 days of summer and it won’t be 365 days of winter. Summer is when we are active, we are doing things whereas Winter gives us a chance to have a break, to rest, to recuperate.

    The practicality of this to your life is practice patience, go with the flow of your internal seasons.

    Law of the Universe 12: The Law of Gender

    We see this unfold as masculine and feminine energies. The masculine as ‘yang’ and the feminine as ‘ying’. Often people think of gender as opposing forces but truly they are complementary. We all hold masculine and feminine energies.

    Masculine energy is all about taking action, fixing things, direction, purpose, logic, independence and freedom.

    Feminine is the counter balance, it’s all about flow, creativity, inspiration, feeling, intuition and connection.

    Distilled down life is a dance of patience (feminine energy) and persistence (masculine energy).

    Where I regularly see the law of gender play out with clients in their everyday life is in relationships.

    Humans need polarity for attraction. Think of it like a magnet. Intimate connection and sexual attraction will thrive in a relationship where there is a distinct polarity between the energies of the people involved.

    The more opposed the individual energies are, the stronger the attraction will be in the relationship.

    Most conflicts arise when both partners demonstrate dominant masculine energies in a relationship…This creates a constant power struggle between the two partners.

    Both want to be in charge, both want to be the decision-makers, and both want to have things their way!

    I see this in women who are very career oriented and successful. The masculine energy helps them succeed through hustling and control in their work but when it comes to their personal life, masculine energy men can find them controlling or competitive whereas feminine energy men let them do their own thing as they are comfortable with their partner leading, being the bread winner concept etc.

    The most stagnant relationship comes from two feminine dominant energies partners where neither takes charge or makes decisions. It is when relationships gets stale – it feels boring, it feels lifeless it feels like it’s lacking fun, adventure and excitement. 

    Remember there are masculine energy women and feminine energy men.

    The Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang, 03: Beyond The Law of Attraction, The 12 Universal Laws, Episode Close

    There are lot of universal laws to be mindful of. Understanding the universal laws that govern life can give us clarity and perspective on our lives. How you can conceptualise it and integrate it into your life is unique. Everyone is different. 

    Thank you for listening to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang. I hope you’ve learnt something new and I’ll speak to you next week. Catch you soon.

    [Episode 03 – Beyond the Law of Attraction, The 12 Universal Laws: Ends]

    Are you wanting to find out more about 1:1 Coaching or working with me? Maybe perhaps you want to know more about me. I’d love to connect with you. You can visit my website phidang.com or connect with me on Instagram @thephidang. Speak to you soon.

    Click here to read more