Overcome your negative self talk and shed past patterns to become a happier and more confident you!
I am a Human Design Life Coach who is wildly passionate about helping you overcome your negative self talk so you can conquer anything.
My 15K strong community on Instagram know me as
“The Positivity Queen”
P.S I got you. My name is pronounced Fee – it means flying high in Vietnamese.
— You feel as if you’re not living to your full potential because of you. You feel heavily weighed down by negative thoughts in your head (hello inner critic) and are sick of yourself because you are always thinking about what other people think about you.
— You feel held back by patterns of self sabotage, procrastination, perfectionism. You are scared of being judged, making mistakes and getting rejected. You feel frustrated with your constant spirals in thoughts and need to control every single situation.
— Your inner voice tells you that you are not good enough. That you will be only be good enough once you have a partner, or reach a certain level in your career, make a certain amount of money or look and weigh a certain way.
— You feel as if you’re stuck in the past. You’re always thinking “what if I had,” “I wish I,” “I could have” and I “should have.” At times you feel like you wish you could go back in time and change a few things that have happened. You live with regret and disappointment in yourself. You spend more time thinking about what has happened in your life instead of living life.
— You feel lost. You’ve done it all – the personal development journey. You read a tonne of self development books – The Power of Now, The Secret, you’ve listened to the Tony Robbins and Marie Forleo. You’re on daily gratitude, you’re journalling, you’re listening to podcasts, following the gurus – Jay Shetty, Mel Robbins. Binging on YouTube for dating advice, turning to The Secret and this mysterious Law of Attraction yet you still can’t seem to make permanent lasting change. You feel motivated for a day, even a week and then fall flat. You don’t know where to turn to or how to get yourself out of a rut.
— You find it hard to say no. You struggle to tell your boss you don’t want to work overtime again. You can’t find the words to tell your partner that you’re always giving and they’re always taking. You feel bad about breaking up with your partner.
— You feel stressed a lot. You are worrying about what might happen and what might go wrong. You dread Mondays and live for the weekend. You’re lacking energy and find it hard to get out of bed. You spend most nights awake running through your thoughts and find it difficult to sleep.
I have had experiences that left me feeling numb, heartbroken, negative, worthless and questioning whether I would make it through… yet I am so thankful for them.
They have shaped me into the strong, resilient, joyful soul that I am today. In fact I’m known as
“The Positivity Queen” despite all that I have been through. I’m not any different to you.
I’m not any more special than you in any way. I’m just like you.
Through rewiring my mind, I learnt how to turn setbacks into solutions, struggles into strength and turn every experience into knowledge and growth.
I truly believe everything happens for a reason. You don’t just go through life, you grow through life.
You can either let external events control you or you can take back your power and decide to be the person YOU want to be and live the life YOU want.
At times I felt so alone wishing that I had someone there who had been what I had been through to teach me what to do, to support me, to help me find my way… and that is why I Clarity and Confidence Life Coach.
THE ORIGINS OF THE POSITIVITY QUEEN
I remember it so vividly. Sitting in maths class when the class clown threw a pencil to the back of my head in high school.
“Hey Phi, I swear you are always so happy and positive. You are always smiling, do you ever feel sad?”
My internal brain when scattering, what, what did he mean? Was this a bad thing? Was he trying to make fun of me? Aren’t we supposed to be happy all the time?
Little did I know, from that moment I would go on to continue being happy and positive. To the point where I am now known as “The Positivity Queen” but that didn’t mean I would always be happy and positive.
LIVING LIFE TO SOCIETY’S TIMELINE
I’m the only child of migrants who fled Vietnam to Australia on boats (in fact my parents met on the boat to Australia). They sacrificed everything they had to live a better life and worked hard to raise me in a comfortable and sheltered life. I was on track to continue that life. I mapped it all out based on what I was told, the people around me and what I knew from the movies and TV.
Be the dux at my high school, go to law school, become a lawyer for a top tier firm, meet the love of my life, get married to this said love, buy a house, have a family and live happily ever after… well so I thought! (As many of us do)
LIFE DOESN’T ALWAYS GO TO PLAN
Everything I knew and thought about life came crumbling down when my dad passed away to bowel cancer when I was 20.
All my life I had been shielded from death and in a turn of events, the first funeral I would ever attend and the first funeral I would ever plan was for my Dad.
I questioned everything about life especially this supposed map of life. Why do all of it and suddenly I could die? What was the point of life? How can life be so cruel to me, to take away my dad when I was so young?
In this dark point of my life, I turned to the largest unassuming danger in life: being busy and avoiding emotions. I was studying two degrees law and marketing full time, working 4 days a week, side hustling as an english and economics tutor, partying on weekends, working on a huge conference at my university, being an executive on the marketing society, dating unemotionally available men. I completely avoided feeling the pain and grief of my Dad unconsciously. I thought this was what I was meant to do, accept what happened, get on with life and move forward.
THE FALL, LEMON ATTACK
Life has a funny way of throwing lemons at you. In In this instance it catapulted thousands of them my way in the form of my feelings. I was in such despair and depression. In an ironic twist, the feelings did quickly fade away but I was left feeling numb.
I thought my life ended when I lost my dad and on top of this I had to cancel my backpacking trip to Europe (losing $10K) and take a semester off of university (this truly did feel like the end of the world according to my map of life).
Whilst dealing with this all, I felt so ashamed and embarrased. I remember not leaving the house for weeks and weeks avoiding phone calls from anyone and everyone. Not only that for the first time in my life I struggled to sleep everyday for a month. It was horrible, I went from sleeping 8-10 hours a night to maybe 1 or 2 a night. I felt like a living zombie.
THE AHA MOMENT, THE INNER WORK
Then I had the light bulb moment. A-ha!
I remember lying on the floor of my living room curled up in a ball for the twentieth day in a row.
“Why are you doing this?”
“Dad wouldn’t want you to be doing this, he wanted you to go on with your life and thrive”
“Continuing to do this, isn’t going to change anything”…
From there I decided enough was enough.
Enough feeling sorry for myself.
Enough stewing in my sadness.
Enough being the victim of life.
I chose right then and there to build my life back up from the ground up. I chose to be courageous, to continue living my life, inspired by all that my Dad had taught me.
+ I learnt to master my mind, my thoughts didn’t control me anymore, I controlled them.
+ I learnt to support myself and self soothe instead of turning to external validation.
+ I processed the deep pain, sadness and anger that I was avoiding and ignoring.
+ I grew through the discomfort of confronting myself, questioning myself.
+ I transformed the way I thought. I stopped beating myself up. I stopped self sabotaging myself.
+ I stopped thinking everything was happening to me and realised I had power, I could change my life.
+ I started truly loving myself, accepting who I was, knowing my worth.
+ I dropped out of law school and went on to travel to 20 cities across the US and Europe for 3 months.
+ I began to live life on my terms. No more living to what society deemed as a perfect life and timeline.
+ I listened to my soul instead of caring what people thought about me and taking on their opinions.
+ I woke up to what really mattered to me in this amazing life I get to live.
+ I transformed through a spiritual reawakening. I became conscious of my ego and shadow.
THE RISE (AND LEMONADE)
The darkest moment of my life turned out to be the greatest teacher in my life.
Life would go on to give me lemons in the form of dealing with anxiety, being bullied, burning out and don’t get me started on being single for 8 years after being cheated on and going on the dating merry-go-round (round and round).
But I didn’t just go through that all, I grew through that all. And now? I know that no matter what happens in my life, no matter what lemons life throws at me, I can handle it. I can conquer it.
I make lemonade.
+ I ended up graduating University with several merit awards, deans awards and honours.
+ I scaled the corporate ladder, getting nominated for an industry award 6 months into my career and quickly became a strategy manager in my mid twenties.
+ I called in a deep love and met my amazing partner who I live by the beach with.
+ I participated in the World’s First Women’s Only Wim Hof Retreat (read more about that below!) conquering freezing temperatures and ice water.
+ I live my soul’s mission to help others – including you reading this. I am so grateful to be able to help my clients to be happy, confident and empowered.
I started my passion project of a mental health community on Instagram in April 2020, by July 2020 I had an organic following of 10,000! Through demand in October 2020 I started officially offering life coaching services and in September 2021 resigned from my corporate job to become a full time life coach in my own business!
As you read this, here I am living my dream life. I work 3 days a week and wake up whenever I want to. I love to start my mornings with an ocean swim. I wake up every morning feeling so much joy in my soul living my purpose to help others. My business is abundant where I often book out of human design readings months in advance as well as 1:1 coaching.
This is only the beginning.
I am currently working on a 1:1 basis with private clients.
— All the answers you seek are already inside you. I literally used to roll my eyes when someone told me this but it’s true. With a coach you have light bulb moments, the a-ha! moments. You see your situation in ways you didn’t before, you are offered perspectives you hadn’t considered. Your thoughts on auto pilot are challenged.
— There is nothing wrong with you. You are worthy and loveable as you are right now. I am not here to fix you because you are not broken. You are an amazing force to be reckoned with. I’m here to help you get out of your own way so you can confidently live your best life.
– After working with many clients and from my own experience, my coaching is based upon four key pillars: mindset, self love, energy and purpose.
— Mind over Mountain. This year I attended the World’s First Women’s Only Wim Hof Retreat. Yes, in the middle of winter I hiked Mount Kosciuszko in my sports bra and shorts and went swimming in lakes covered with ice. Yes, it was extremely cold. Yes, it was extremely uncomfortable. Yes, it was extremely painful at first… felt like a hammer was swinging brutal blows my toes and fingers. It’s been one of the biggest game changers in my life, in fact I have 2 minute cold showers everyday now. Despite having asthma and being that kid who was always picked last in team sports, I did it and I continue to do it. Your mind is truly so powerful.
— I have travelled to over 25 countries and 40 cities around the world, mostly solo since I was 19. I’ve come a long way since my first backpacking trip on Contiki though, that’s for sure. I’ve fed alligators marshmallows in the swamps of New Orleans (they seemed to really like the pink ones!), searched for Loch Ness in Scotland, munched on flaky croissants in Paris, enjoyed a ridiculous amount of paella and salted meat in Madrid, chased waterfalls in Hawaii, line danced my way through Texas, tackled mother nature’s stairmaster Grouse Grind in Vancouver and Eat, Pray and Loved in Bali.
— I consider myself a Phi-oodie. I am obsessed with food. Whilst other kids watched cartoons, I watched Rick Stein and Delia Smith.
There was something so heartwarming and comforting about watching food be made.
Food literally holds the best taste party in my mouth, I mean what’s not to love about melt in your mouth brisket, silky smooth ramen, zingy lemon meringue pie, piping hot dumplings, creamy brie cheese (the list goes on and on…).
My passion extends to volunteering at a community kitchen where I help make meals for the less fortunate.