Phi Dang

  • 6 Things I Never Expected to Unlearn After Losing My Dad A Decade Ago

    May loss not define you

    10 years later the journey continues and I can’t quite believe I’ve lived 1/3 of my life without him 🥹

    Grief has no expiration date.

    It is never too late to grieve.

    In the early days it was raw and overwhelming.

    I numbed it. I suppressed it. I ignored it. I resented it.

    The myth that time heals all wounding is understandable however really we learn to grow around the grief and expand.

    Grief does not end or stop.

    It becomes part of the journey weaved into the everyday, a mosaic of joy and sorrow all at once that is part of the human experience.

    Loss and grief have shown me it doesn’t end with the loss of our loved one that it isn’t useless, in fact it’s led me to become a life coach something I never would have comprehended a decade ago (I was meant to be a lawyer or CMO!!).

    And that is the beauty; the twists and turns of life and how pain can turn into power and purpose.

    Now I honour it. I lean into it. I feel it. I’m grateful for it.

    As a coach it has been a privilege to support and witness individuals navigate the complexities of grief in learning to feel the feelings, redefine the narrative and unlock the strength and resilience that emerges from heartache.

    Here’s to the journey 🫶🏽

    May loss not define you but propel you into greater depths of living: with gratitude, with radiance and to embrace the immense gift of not just being alive; but living 🚀

    love & positivity ✨ phi

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  • You are your power

    You can't stop your thoughts

    You can’t stop your thoughts.

    You melt the resistance you feel when trying to control something that is uncontrollable.

    That is your power...

    The issue at heart here is your resistance to your thoughts and trying to get rid of them.

    It doesn’t matter what you do, you cannot control or get rid of your thoughts!

    It’s up to you to choose who is there to meet the thoughts.

    That is your power 🦋✨ 🤝 🧠

    📖 The Great Unlearning by Phi Dang

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  • Live for today

    Your pain...

    Your pain and wounds need not be ugly.

    Our pain should not stop us.

    Our pain should not make us want to give up life.

    You can be a portal to a deeper and more conscious form of living.

    What you are living for

    We can become distrustful and weary of life because of the hurt we endured in our journey.

    Live for the moments you cannot put into words.

    Live for the kisses that will take your breath away.

    Live for the people you are yet to meet who will change your life.

    Live for the conversations that touch your heart and soul.

    Live for today, here and now, even when times are tough, because there are so many reasons to keep going.

    📖 The Great Unlearning by Phi Dang

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  • Healing is a journey

    Healing is a funny thing

    Healing is a funny thing.

    It can feel slow.

    It can feel as if nothing has changed.

    It can feel like you are doing so much yet so little at the same time.

    It can feel like the dark void, and it can feel like the fullness.

    And then, one day, you’ll realise how far you’ve come.

    You’ll realise that healing isn’t sudden.

    You’ll realise that you’ve been healing the whole time.

    Keep going, because you are healing

    Every step counts whether big or small.

    Healing and recovery aren’t a race so you don’t need a timer.

    There are some things you simply can’t rush. Setbacks happen. That doesn’t mean you won’t heal.

    So keep going, because you are healing ❤️‍🩹

    📖 The Great Unlearning by Phi Dang

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  • To truly be alive…

    On your death bed...

    On your death bed, you won’t wish you’d worked more hours.

    You’ll wish you spent less time working and more time with your loved ones.

    On your death bed, you won’t wish your body was different.

    You will wish you appreciated your body more for its strength and grace.

    On your death bed, you won’t wish you were just like everyone else.

    You will wish you stayed true to yourself and stood out from the masses.

    What you should be afraid of is never truly living…

    To be truly alive...

    What’s scary? To have an unlived life.

    What will it take for you to truly realise life is precious?

    There is no guarantee in life except that you will die. This is death’s greatest gift to us.

    Knowing this is an opportunity to live.

    To truly be alive ❤️‍🔥

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  • 50: Turning 30

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    Phi returns to the podcast and shares super exciting life updates including something very special and spills the tea on what happened during her month away in Vietnam and Bali. 

    As she’s turned 30, she also shares the top 10 juiciest things she had to unlearn in her 20’s to be the happiest in her life she’s ever been.

    Resources from today's episode

    Episode Introduction

    So usually when you turn 30 you see those top 30 things I learnt by 30 or what I wish I knew in my 20’s – but in Phi Dang style, of course I’m going to share the top 10 things I unlearnt by 30 to honour my book The Great Unlearning.

    The book really does capture my 20’s if you’re interested and has 29 full chapters of unlearning. These are my own musings pulling from the book and reflections in this present moment. It’s honestly so hard to pick only 10 so I’m going to tune in and trust my intuition that I’ve chosen these specifically to resonate with you listening to this podcast! 

    1. Timelines

    THE LEARNING 

    There’s a set timeline of key milestones in life you need to achieve in order to be happy and fulfilled. 

    THE UNLEARNING 

    There are no set timelines in life. 

    Truly because I think 30 is one of those ages we build up in our heads and decide we have to get everything done, yet funnily enough the less pressure I put on myself, trusted in my own path and timeline, the more amazing things I’ve achieved unexpectedly. I mean my unexpected biggest month in business happened only a few months before turning 30! Anything can happen.

    Some excerpts from the book to share:

    “Timelines have been mostly imprinted subconsciously on our minds. We seem to be always working towards a timeframe, often speeding towards it. In fact, it’s made us feel like we’re always rushing to hit our next life milestone, whether it’s love, money or career.”

    “The problem is that when we don’t hit these timelines, we feel like failures. We feel like we’re moving slower than those around us and it quickly turns into a crippling game of comparison. It’s important to remember that life isn’t a race and it isn’t a competition.”

    2. Success

    THE LEARNING 

    Success means having money, being in a relationship and at the peak of your career.   

    THE UNLEARNING 

    Success isn’t clear-cut or one size fits all, it’s something you define on your own. 

    The old status symbols for success were a fast car, a big house and millions… billions of dollars.

    The ultimate new flex is freedom, joy and inner peace—to live a life where your soul is pure love and happiness; where your highest self is realised; where your inner child is seen, heard and loved; where you find security in yourself and not others or things. It’s a life that your ancestors would be proud of; a life that’s a dream. Unlearn what you think you know is success and redefine what it means to you. 

    Some excerpts from the book to share:

    “A lot of sayings we know are for a reason and it really is true. You hear it thrown around casually and in all the self-development books that money doesn’t buy you happiness. I would always roll my eyes and think deep down well, maybe not, but I’d rather cry in a mansion and Ferrari, that’s for sure. However, have you ever actually stopped for a moment to consider what your definition of success is and why?”

    “Having had the taste of success, money, status and achievement at the height of my career – something still felt missing. Being in a relationship with what on the outside superficially a handsome man that loved me – something still felt missing. I mean even the bloody beginning of this year everything except a partner – something still felt missing. It had to hit home time and time again, success isn’t what it looks like and what you have. For me it really is a feeling and ultimately that feeling is inner peace, being content and self love. Not only that success is different for everyone, I never thought I could work for myself doing what I love yet again here I am! Success beyond what I thought was possible for me”.

    3. Money

    THE LEARNING 

    Money is hard to make but it will solve all my problems.

    THE UNLEARNING 

    Money doesn’t have to be hard to make, but it won’t solve all your problems either. Wealth is the consciousness of abundance and poverty is the consciousness of lack.

    Do yourself a favour and seriously understand that money is mindset led. Once you can identify and understand your beliefs you can do amazing work to unlearn limiting money beliefs.

    I used to be someone so scarce all the time and hoarding money. Now I don’t even need to check my bank account for purchases. Everything I want, I can afford. Do I buy everything? No because I have different priorities.

    Right now in my life I am in the enjoying phase because why work hard not to harvest the bounty you planted (which is also why I’ve been less online social media and more living life and actually coaching/working with clients).

    What I will also say is that throughout by 20’s I’ve been a lot of debt and I’ve had a lot of money, it continues and will continue to fluctuate. I don’t attach myself so deeply to money, I’m in flow with it, I trust it and somehow always it comes to me in any way!

    I remember being petrified going full time in my business, being afraid I’ll have no money and die. I told myself I can get a part time or casual job to support myself in the worse case scenario… two years later that’s never happened. I’ve always been financially supported by my business.

    4. Having it all

    THE LEARNING 

    You can’t have it all.

    THE UNLEARNING 

    You CAN have it all.

    Seriously here right now in this moment, I have it all. I have everything I desire and dream of. I write in my book The Great Unlearning, We’re conditioned to have things in life as ‘good enough’—good enough sex, good enough money, good enough relationships, good enough jobs. But what about great? What about excellent? In fact, we’re shamed for wanting more—more pleasure, more money, more appreciation.

    We’ve been conditioned to equate wanting more as superficial, dirty and to the detriment of others. We’re told it’s ridiculous to believe we can be an amazing partner, mother and career woman at the same time.

    Our culture celebrates sacrifice through these beliefs: If you want lots of money, you have to work lots. If you want to be successful at work, you have to spend less time with loved ones.’ I say screw that you can.

    At times this changes, everyone’s definition is different, maybe you have the majority of what you want at one moment in time and that flips in another… but for you listening I dare you to not only dream of having it all but know that you can have it all.

    If I can, so can you, why not?

    5. Self-identity

    THE LEARNING 

    You are (insert name). You are (insert number) years old. You are a (insert job here).

    THE UNLEARNING 

    You are a soul having a human experience. Your identity is a costume you wear and you’re the one that gets to decide what that looks like. 

    I think in your 20’s it’s a normal and common experience to question who you are (especially my fellow open g centres in human design). Again through conditioning I felt as if I had to know who I was? But I can say I’ve changed every year in my 20’s leading up to my 30’s.

    I used to identify so much with my material possessions and appearance in my early 20’s then in my mid 20’s to end my career… now I just know who I am and I know I am beyond all of this stuff which is human.

    I’m a soul underneath it all. I honestly didn’t have it figured out for a long time and that’s okay, embrace the unknown and process of figuring it all out in your 20’s.

    So I ask you… Who are you? Who are you really? Are you you because of you or because the world made you this way? Do you know your place in this world? What makes you, you? 

    6. Self love

    THE LEARNING 

    It’s easy to love others but hard to love yourself. 

    THE UNLEARNING 

    What if it’s not about loving yourself but loving being yourself? 

    Self love has evolved rapidly in my 20’s to now being 30. At times even in the book I mention feeling sad and now ultimately having so much compassion for myself in my 20’s in my self love journey.

    I used to be someone who needed to be externally validated especially by men and social media. It’s funny that this year I’ve been on social media less in my business yet incredibly abundant despite changing algorithms too. I’ve been less on social media in personal life and more happier and carefree than ever too. Again not to go to extremes because I also love social media as a conscious tool to connect and help people!

    Something that really made me question things is how I start the Self Love chapter in The Great Unlearning.

    “If I were to ask you to name all the places, things and people you love, I can almost guarantee that your name is last, if it is even on the list at all. It’s about unlearning that self love can’t be bought. It can’t be earned by being pretty, smarter, more successful and so fourth. Self love takes work. Self work is a conscious on going journey”.

    7. Your Thoughts

    THE LEARNING 

    Everything you think is a fact and must be true.

    THE UNLEARNING 

    Your thoughts are not facts, but they do form your reality. 

    A simple game changer for me that really unlevelled my awareness and consciousness.

    At the end of the day, your thoughts are just thoughts. We are conditioned to believe our thoughts should be or need to be a certain way but they don’t. Our minds are great storytellers! 

    8. Happiness

    THE LEARNING 

    You should be happy all the time (everyone else is!).

    THE UNLEARNING 

    You don’t have to be happy all the time. You say you want to be happy but only when you’re a certain way or something in particular has happened in your life. That’s not happiness. That’s self-imprisonment. 

    This stemmed from toxic positivity culture and well-meaning socio-cultural conditioning having been raised Vietnamese Chinese in Australia. It was so freeing to understand it’s okay not to be happy all that time and it’s normal not to be happy all the time.

    Sure, you can chase happiness but really it can’t be bought, caught or obtained. You see, so many people seem to miss that happiness doesn’t suddenly start in the relationship, the job, the degree or money… happiness isn’t an object.

    Which goes in to my next unlearning.

    9. Feelings

    THE LEARNING 

    Feelings are scary and should be avoided at all costs. 

    THE UNLEARNING 

    Feelings aren’t scary. They are what make us human.

    We live in a society that is ruled by the mind. We must do the logical thing. We must analyse it. Feelings have become foreign. We are scared of feelings. Feelings are uncomfortable.

    Again learning my human design was a game changer – I am an emotional authority. We are all built to feel our feelings that’s why we are humans and especially as an emotional authority my soul has been designed and orchestrated to really feel it all as part of my life’s storyline in this lifetime. That yes indeed sensitivity isn’t a curse it’s a superpower and blessing.

    My sensitivity helps me attune to clients energy and channeling to receive messages for them. My sensitivity is beautiful because I get to feel the lowest of lows and highest of highs. The two go hand in hand. Duality.

    Leading to…

    10. Spiritual Breakthroughs

    THE LEARNING 

    Spiritual breakthroughs are sudden epiphanies after dedicated practice and learning.

    THE UNLEARNING 

    Your biggest spiritual breakthroughs won’t be found on a yoga mat or in meditation. You’ll find them through the greatest spiritual practice of all: your life.

    I chose this unlearning to best encapsulate the majority of my life experiences navigating difficult circumstances, tough emotions and moving through mental health whether it be deep grief from losing my dad at 20 or the grief that came with leaving my corporate job even though it was what I wanted, my ego death of who I thought I was before becoming a life coach, the end of a three year relationship, moving out of my dream home at the time that had so many significant memories such being able to afford an apartment by the beach due to a promotion and pay rise in my corporate career, as where I started my side hustle turning business/career, where I first lived with a partner for 3 years.

    My biggest breakthroughs happened in my biggest breakdowns.

    We can know this and still feel how difficult it is because alas the experience of being human.

    The Wrap Up

    This leads to my wrap up in a big beautiful bow because turning 30 coincides with the end of your Saturn Return which is the equivalent of turning 21 spiritually.

    Thus turning 30 this is only the beginning… I’m sure many more unlearning are to come and be shared with you.

    If you are in your 20’s and 30’s wanting help, guidance and support from me I strongly recommend reading my book The Great Unlearning which can be purchase online via Amazon and other retailers, as well as in store (you can get your book store to order it!) as well as getting a Saturn Return reading with me and 1:1 coaching.

    All details can be found on my website otherwise you can DM me on Instagram @thephidang or email me [email protected].

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  • If only you could see

    If only you could see...

    If only you could see yourself from the eyes of others.

    If only you could see yourself from the heart of others.

    If only you could see yourself from the soul of others.

    If only because in the moments you find yourself unworthy and unlovable – you would see, feel and know the truth.

    That truth is, that you are so deeply loved and cared for.

    Thank you for being you

    The way you see the world is so uniquely beautiful.

    The way you walk into a room lights it up.

    The way you laugh adds more joy and soulful positivity into this world.

    All these things that you don’t see in yourself, others do.

    When you face tough battles within yourself, it is my hope that you remember this all 🧡

    📖 The Great Unlearning by Phi Dang
    🎥 @dkmarieauthor

    love & positivity ✨ phi

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  • Good things are coming

    Move at your own pace

    Old energy is clearing and the new is ready to rush in.

    In the meantime, be kind to your mind, be kind to your body, be kind to your heart and be kind to your soul.

    Move at your own pace.

    The good is inevitable.

    Better days are on their way.

    Good things are coming

    Good things are coming.

    Good things are waiting for you.

    Good things are about to happen.

    Life has its high and lows. Life has its setbacks. The weight of sadness, grief and pain. The ache of a broken heart and stress of an overwhelmed mind. The frustration you feel being stuck with nowhere to go. The paralysis of anxiety and perfectionism. The yearning for hope and relief… there is more to come.

    📖 The Great Unlearning by Phi Dang
    🎥 @michelepirellii

    love & positivity ✨ phi

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  • The sun needs the moon

    The sun can't be the moon...

    It’s easy to feel tiny and insignificant when there’s almost 7.8 billion of us.

    We do a great job of recognising how amazing and special other people are but forget our own strengths and specialties.

    The sun and moon are great, yet the sun is special in its own way and so is the moon.

    The sun can’t be the moon or do its job and if it could we would lose out on the sun!

    Your existence is needed.

    Being you

    You would be missed by so many people if you weren’t here.

    Your life causes ripple effects throughout the world even if you don’t think so.

    That drunk girl you spoke to in the bathroom is thanking her stars she met you on a night out and finally got around to dumping her toxic ex.

    Your local barista who remembers your order off by heart not only because you order regularly but also because they appreciate you.

    That donation you made to charity has changed someone’s life and you’ll never even know about it.

    Significance isn’t about being here.

    Showing up.

    Being you 🧡

    📖 The Great Unlearning by Phi Dang
    🎥 @secondsbymaya

    love & positivity ✨ phi

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