• 13: The Mindset of Love

    Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 13: The Mindset of Love

    This is this first part of four of the brand new L💘VE SERIES. We kickstart the series with mindset. Your love mindset. Your mindset impacts every part of your love life. In this podcast I share 7 mind blowing shifts you can to increase the love in your life.


    What you'll learn from this episode

    • What is the mindset of love?
    • How your mindset impacts love
    • 7 mind blowing shifts for a love mindset

    Key Quotes from this Episode

    Love exists in so many forms, people are so quick to jump to the thought of a relationship with someone outside of themselves but really love starts with you.

    Phi Dang

    Love and pain exist in the same place within your heart. So when you shut down to pain and fear, you also shut down to love.

    Phi Dang

    If you don’t understand that love is infinite you will always believe you need others to others to be the source of love.

    Phi Dang

    Featured Resources on the episode

    The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 13: The Mindset of Love

    You are listening to Episode 13 of the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang: The Mindset of Love

    [Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]:

    Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.

    Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.

    My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.”

    My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything.

    Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose.

    This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.

    Ready to grow? Let’s grow!

    [Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro]

    [Episode 13 – The Mindset of Love Begins]

    Hello beautiful soul and welcome to February oooh la la the month of love!

    So you know how in last week’s episode I scratched my original idea on your brain is a liar and felt called to speak about understanding your negative emotions… well it’s happened again because February is all about love. 

    For the last few weeks I’ve been in a draining and limiting energy, feeling pressured by needing to this and feeling like I should do that but this? This has shifted the energy. Love has transcended the energy. Love has triumphed. Love! I want to do this!

    It’s been a shift in gears to drop out of my head and into my body. Feel deeply into my heart through a lot of embodiment work and movement (I’m loving gentle stretches at the moment and of course cold swims – you feel so alive – cool, refreshing – seriously the colder the better). [Note: Read more about my Wim Hof cold experience where I attended the World’s First Women’s Wim Hof Retreat in the world!]

    I’m tapping into my feminine energy – the emotive, the fluid and leaning into my heart, to what feels right. Listening to my body’s signals, reconnecting with my intuition and I felt called upon to do this new Love Series which you may have seen launch yesterday on my Instagram @thephidang.

    So what is the L💘VE SERIES?

    It’s all about love.

    Love exists in so many forms, people are so quick to jump to the thought of a relationship with someone outside of themselves but really love starts with you. Loving yourself is love. Loving your pet is love. Loving your family is love. Loving your friends is love. Loving your job is love. Loving the ocean is love. Love is everywhere. Love is infinite, love is abundant. Love is your trust nature, the essence of who you are.

    Love is the most beautiful expansive energy, it’s connection, it’s wholeness, it’s light, it’s happiness.

    Love feels like floating in the sky. Love feels warm in your heart. Love transcends time and space. Love is one of the highest frequencies you can vibrate in.

    So why the L💘VE SERIES?

    Valentine’s Day is around the corner which has many of us thinking about love. Reflecting upon love whether you are single or in a relationship. 

    For 8 years of my life, I was single. I remember struggling and wishing I had someone to talk to (which I eventually did – my first life coach was a dating coach fun fact. Thank you V – you changed my life!). I remember feeling alone, even though I wasn’t. I can assure you also as a coach I have heard many client experiences and so many overlap. 

    Most of us have been there. Hating yourself and trying to convince yourself that you do love yourself. Experiencing heartbreak. Feeling numb, cold and closed off. Wanting a relationship so badly. Trying to change ourselves for someone. Feeling jealous and insecure. Unrequited love. Wanting to go back to an ex. Getting back with an ex. Being with someone who is just so wrong for you but it feels so good (sometimes!). Wanting to define the relationship. Being in a situationship. Friends with benefits but you want more, dealing with cheating … The love list goes on.

    The Love Series exists so I can share with you how to approach love through the key pillars of 1:1 coaching: mindset, self love, energy and purpose. To help you feel more love in your life by removing and melting obstacles in your way. To shed your pain and fears. That’s why the love series exists. 

    L💘VE SERIES Competition - Win a 75 minute 1:1 coaching intensive

    I’m so excited for you to join me over the next 4 weeks as I discuss all things love here on the podcast and on my Instagram @thephidang daily in the feed and stories. Announcing here first, to celebrate the launch of the L💘VE SERIES, I am giving away 3 x 75 minute 1:1 coaching intensives with me worth $320 each. Everyone who writes one I will also personally write you a love letter to thank you! It would mean so much to me and I really appreciate it.

    All you have to do is leave a review in Apple Podcasts during this month February 2021 you will go into the random draw to win. Screenshot your review and DM it to me @thephidang or send it to my email The competition closes 1st of March 2021 [Australian Eastern Standard Time]. Good luck beautiful souls! 

    The Love Mindset

    Be love. Do love.

    Every time you do something out of love, it raises the vibration of the entire universe. 

    Return home to love because love is the essence of your being.

    Be the person you want to be with.

    True, pure love is unencumbered from wanting something in return or having love with conditions.

    If you are familiar with the bible, a Corinthians verse encapsulates love beautifully. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 

    What a beautiful description of what love is.

    Such as a beautiful selflessness, it’s just so much love brimming and flowing from out of you.

    It’s such a natural high.

    Love is without ego. Love is just pure love, it’s always in the best interest, you know – out of love.

    Love is a journey, it won't always be smooth

    I heard this very cheesy corny line but really it’s true:

    "Love is a journey starting at forever and ending at never.”


    Really it’s true though (it is corny!)

    Whether you are single or in a relationship, love is a life long journey.

    Even in love, there is always more love to give beyond a partner.

    When single, love is the journey of self discovery and dating.

    In this journey, it is inevitable to experience heart ache but see it as this.

    See rejection and heartbreak as redirection. 

    Enjoy the journey and you’ll always be in love.

    Stop searching for love outside of yourself only

    Classic movies and fairytales have led us astray when it comes to love. It’s set up unrealistic expectations about love.

    Prince Charming will rescue you.

    When you are in love everything will be better. You will be happier.

    You need someone to complete you.

    Love happens at a young age.

    When you look for love outside of you it will always be out of control and you will always see yourself as a victim. At the mercy of outside external influences.

    Choose to see the other lessons in these tales.

    Be true to yourself (Ariel in the Little Mermaid).

    Give your relationship room to grow (Beauty and the Beast).

    Honesty is the best policy (Mulan).

    Don’t forget about your friends (Snow White).

    The past is in the past. Let it Go (Frozen).

    As you can see I am a massive fan of Disney and it’s so lovely to rewatch the movies as an adult. To see the different lessons you can notice compared to when you were a kid, you just pick up on so much more.

    You have to let love in

    When your heart is closed because you are scared, because you don’t think you are worthy, because you are protecting yourself, you are closing the door to love. 

    Love cannot enter your heart to heal, to restore, to strengthen. 

    Love and pain exist in the same place within your heart. 

    So when you shut down to pain and fear, you also shut down to love.

    Believe you are worthy of love

    Seriously because you are. 

    The biggest block I see with clients is a deep subconscious belief that for some reason they are not good enough or not worthy of love. Love is your birth right. You do not have to do anything to be loveable or worthy of love. 

    The analogy I like to use is that of babies. When babies are born, we immediately love them. 

    We don’t not love them because they can’t do anything or because they cry and can’t control when they go to the bathroom. 

    We just love them.

    They don’t need to do anything to be lovable. 

    You were a baby once, therefore you are already lovable. 

    You don’t have to be a ‘good’ girl or boy, to follow the rules. You don’t have to do a certain job, look a certain way, be a certain weight. You don’t have to be perfect.

    If you aren’t there yet, start asking yourself: 

    If I truly believed I was worthy of love, the love I want, what would I do? How would I act? Would I accept this behaviour?

    Phi Dang

    Infinite love exists

    There seems to be a limiting belief amongst many that love is limited. That it is finite. To that, I want to share with you a Chinese Proverb with you.

    “Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Love never decreases by being shared.”

    Chinese Proverb

    Such a beautiful analogy.

    Love is not scarce for love is abundant.

    An abundant love mindset reminds you that there is not only someone else out there but multiple people out there when you are heartbroken.

    An abundant love mindset reminds you that when it seems like everyone else is coupled up, there are so many out there for you – you just haven’t met them yet.

    An abundant love mindset reminds you not to settle and to expect the best when it comes to love.

    An abundant love mindset doesn’t care how many dates it has to go on, it knows every date is one step closer to the one.

    An abundant love mindset feels whole, full, brimming with love to share.

    If you don’t understand that love is infinite you will always believe you need others to others to be the source of love.

    You get to choose love, you don’t have to wait for it to choose you

    In each and every moment, you can choose love. 

    You can choose love after your heart breaks and you open up again. 

    You start dating again. You let down your walls. In your vulnerability, you choose love. In your hope, you choose love. In your second love, you choose love.

    You can choose love over fear. 

    You choose love when you take the leap of faith. You choose love in believing there is more than one person out there for you. That no two loves will ever be the same but there is so much abundance with love. You may not have even experienced the depths of love. That a love exists out there beyond your comprehension and dreams.

    You can choose love over hate. 

    You choose love when you decide to not seek revenge. You choose love when you forgive. You choose love when you let go. You choose love when you see the positivity.  You choose love when you speak out. 

    You choose love in the little things.

    Love is in the small things. Making dinner. Asking how their day was. Listening. Falling asleep together. Sunday morning. Forehead Kisses. Coffee and Pancakes. 

    The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 13: The Mindset of Love Close

    Ah my heart is seriously filled with so much joy from today’s episode. If you’re feeling called to work on your love mindset, please DM me on Instagram @thephidang as I can help you and would love to. 

    I’ve helped clients heal from heartbreak, move on from ex’s, during the dating progress providing support along the way (if you didn’t know, my 1:1 clients also get text support from me between sessions which is so valuable being able to ask me anything from how do I reply to this text message or how do I work on my feelings of jealousy and insecurity). 

    I’ve even had clients call in love through new relationships. So if you’re hearing the call for coaching, please get in touch and let’s make 2021 your biggest year yet for love.

    Next week’s episode will be about self love and I’m really excited to speak to that! 

    Speak to you next Tuesday beautiful soul. Love and Positivity.

    Click here to read more

  • You don’t need someone, you want someone

    You don’t need someone.

    You are your own person.

    You have your own thoughts and opinions.

    You have your own goals.

    You have your own life.

    Your own dreams.

    You want someone.

    Love is everywhere, it isn’t just in a partner. Love is there with your friends and with your family. Love is there when you take a fresh breath, when you feel the ocean breeze, when you watch the sunrise.

    Love is there when you watch the clouds go by, when you see the stars twinkle in the night sky, when water falls from the sky, when dew forms on a fresh blade of grass, when your heart races on an adventure into the unknown, when you take a small sip of piping hot coffee, when you soak in the sunshine.

    You don’t need someone, you want someone.

    Not just anyone.

    You want a partner to share your life with.

    Someone who recognises how special you are, how incredible you are, how beautiful you are, how strong you are, how intelligent you are and how loving you are.

    Someone who looks into your eyes and sees your magic, your heart and your soul.

    Someone who wants to grow with you, learn with you and do life with you.

    The difference between needing someone and wanting someone

    Needing someone is wanting to be in a relationship / Wanting someone is only being in a relationship if you are compatible and they are right for you.

    Needing someone is feeling as if you can’t live without them / Wanting someone is knowing you can live without them but you don’t want to.

    Needing someone means you aren’t ready for a fulfilling relationship / Wanting someone means you are ready for relationship because you choose and feel ready to do so.

    Needing someone means you need to work on loving yourself / Wanting someone is loving who you are and wanting someone who will accept you completely.

    Needing someone makes you feel desperate and clingy / Wanting someone makes you feel empowered.

    Needing someone is wanting to feeling complete / Wanting someone is someone who loves all of you (flaws and all).

    Needing someone is to say what you think they want hear / Wanting someone is speaking your truth, being a voice and not an echo.

    Needing someone is doing anything for someone / Wanting someone is letting them do some things for you.

    Needing someone makes you feel anxious / Wanting someone is knowing you are already worthy of love no matter what.

    Needing someone feels like you want to see them everyday / Wanting someone means you’d like to see them regularly and still have time for yourself

    Needing someone is giving up your power and putting someone on a pedestal / Wanting someone is finding someone who is on your level

    Needing someone feels like making excuses for poor behaviour and red flags / Wanting someone is being with someone if they treat you well and reciprocate your feelings,

    Needing someone is being completely dependent / Wanting someone is being independent and being dependent at times.

    Needing someone is being validated by them / Wanting someone is being self confident and validating yourself.

    Additional reading on you don’t need someone, you want someone

    The Difference Between Needing, Wanting And Loving SomebodyKeay Nigel, Medium

    The Difference Between Wanting Someone And Needing ThemMichaela Rollings, Thought Catalog

    Are You in Love or in Need?Uplift

    Click here to read more

  • 46 Affirmations to radiate self love

    On self love and this guide

    This article will explore the importance of self love and the power it has to transform your life into a soul fulfilling one. It is my hope after reading this you will feel further connected and at peace with your self. The resources within this guide are 46 affirmations to radiate self love. 

    What is self love?

    Self love is how we feel about ourselves. It is linked to our self esteem. It is caring and having regard for your own well-being and happiness. It is how we experience ourselves.

    From my understand of it, self love is:

    ♥ Accepting yourself. Your worthiness. Honouring yourself. Being true to who you are.

    ♥ Authenticity. Knowing that you have flaws and that is okay, being at peace with it.

    ♥ Listening to your needs. Understanding what we want. Choosing ourself without comprising or sacrificing when we truly do not want to do so. This resource may be of help, A guide on how to use love languages. Love languages may be of use to you in understanding yourself better. 

    ♥ Taking care yourself. Your well-being. Nourishing our mind, body and soul.
    “An empty lantern provides no light. Self-care is the fuel that allows your light to shine brightly.”
    – Unknown

    An influential factor in decision making such as the actions we take, the partners we choose for a relationship, the behaviour we accept from ourselves and others.

    How we may feel about a soul mate or best friend in life – channeling that loving energy to ourselves. How we would treat them – with patience, love, respect, kindness and understanding.

    “Love yourself unconditionally, just as you love those closest to you despite their faults.”

    les brown

    ♥ Trusting yourself. Listening to your intuition and gut feelings. Knowing that you always make the best decision for yourself at that time. We know ourselves best. No one can self love for us.

    Quotes that inspire and speak to self love

    “Worthy now. Not if. Not when. We are worthy of love and belonging now. Right this minute. As is.”

    brene brown

    “Self respect, self worth and self love, all start with self. Stop looking outside of yourself for your value.”

    Rob Liano

    “It’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and make your happiness a priority. It’s a necessity.”

    mandy hale

    “A healthy self-love means we have no compulsion to justify to ourselves or others why we take vacations, why we sleep late, why we buy new shoes, why we spoil ourselves from time to time. We feel comfortable doing things which add quality and beauty to life.”


    “It’s all about falling in love with yourself and sharing that love with someone who appreciates you, rather than looking for love to compensate for a self love deficit.”

    Eartha Kitt

    The power of self love affirmations

    + Remind yourself what inherently is. You are loved. You are loveable. There are times we need a pick me up. On that note, a gentle reminder on the power of affirmations to live a soul fulfilling life.

    + To empower you. To be fearless in the pursuit of your desires and dreams. To feel alive with fire.
    A gentle reminder that affirmations are one tool and they work powerfully when you truly believe in them and pair them with action. Read more here.

    + Help you feel deeply into your heart and soul.

    + Shift your perspective and energy when you are feeling down or in a rut.

    + Provide a counter statement to negative thoughts.

    + Identify aspects of self love that may need exploration. If you feel discomfort, it may help to see it from the perspective of curiosity. To learn more about yourself. To spark reflection.

    46 Affirmations to radiate self love

    ♥ No matter what, I am loved and I am loveable.
    ♥ I love who I was. I love who I am. I love who I am becoming.
    ♥ I am strong. I am resilient. I can do hard things.

    ♥ I am more than just my body.
    ♥ I love myself and I choose myself
    ♥ I believe in myself
    ♥ I am human. Perfectly imperfect.
    ♥ I make mistakes sometimes and that is okay. I am human. We all make mistakes. 

    ♥ I made mistakes and learn from them for a better future
    ♥ I made the best decision at that moment in time
    ♥ I know myself best and that is why I made that decision at that moment in time

    ♥ I follow my heart
    ♥ I am proud of who I am.

    ♥ I choose my happiness.
    ♥ I have so much potential.
    ♥ My opportunities are limitless.
    ♥ I am true to mysel
    ♥ I deserve love
    ♥ I am beautiful 
    ♥ Love flows through me. I am radiant. I am abundant.
    ♥ I have a beautiful, peaceful energy 
    ♥ I always do the best that I can at that moment in time
    ♥ I am powerful. I have the power to begin changing my life at any moment.

    ♥ I can always trust my intuition.
    ♥ Love, happiness and peace flow within me.
    ♥ I radiate love, joy and peace.
    ♥ I have good energy.
    ♥ I am so loveable.
    ♥ I let go of my worries and my stresses. I just be.
    ♥ I attract so much love and positivity into my life.
    ♥ I feel peace at my core.
    ♥ So much love exists inside me.
    ♥ I am unique. I am one of a kind. This makes me beautiful, special and important.
    ♥ I love and forgive myself.
    ♥ The greatest gift I can give myself is unconditional love.

    ♥ Deep within side me is an infinite source of love. I can tap into this at any time I want or need to.
    ♥ I have the ability to do things for myself.
    ♥ I am worthy of so much joy.
    ♥ I can dreams as big or as small as I would like.
    ♥ I am love. I am light.
    ♥ I constantly have new opportunities. 
    ♥ I can magnetically manifest all that my heart desires. I can make my dreams come true.
    ♥ Everything always works in my favour. The universe has my back and best interests at heart.
    ♥ I am open to love.
    ♥ I am ready for love as I am.
    ♥ I love myself more and more everyday. 

    In conclusion of this guide

    Love and light, we hope these 46 affirmations to radiate self love bring you warmth, inner peace and vitality.

    Additional resources on how to radiate self love



    Click here to read more

  • A guide on how to use love languages

    An introduction on how to use love languages

    With my deepest love and sincerity, it is my hope this guide will help you learn how to use love langauges.
    Love langauges will help you better understand your partner and as a result improve how you communicate. It is important to note they can also help you understand yourself.

    What are love languages?

    Whilst love is a universal language, there are various branches within the expansive force that is love. Love languages are a powerful resource to understand how your partner likes to receive love.
    They also assist in helping us to better understand ourselves and how to communicate to our partner what makes us feel appreciated. Their origins are from the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.

    Why are love languages important?

    They help us:

    + Deepen our connection with our partner

    + Understand our partner and show love in a meaningful way

    + Communicate our desires and needs within a relationship

    + To be thoughtful, attentive and mindful of our partner

    + Strengthen the bond with our partner

    + Maintain a close and intimate relationship with our partner

    What are the love languages?

    • 1. Words of affirmation
    • 2. Quality time
    • 3. Receiving gifts
    • 4. Acts of service
    • 5. Physical touch

    A quick summary of the love languages:

    • 1. Words of affirmation: These tacos taste delicious, thank you!
    • 2. Quality time: Lets go get tacos together on Friday night.
    • 3. Receiving gifts: Here, I have some tacos for you because you mentioned how much you were craving them the other night.
    • 4. Acts of service: I made you some tacos because I can see you don’t have time to make lunch.
    • 5. Physical touch: Let me wrap my arms around you like a taco.

    Love Language: Words of affirmation

    Using our words to build our partner up. It is important to be authentic and genuinely mean what we say. The intention and emotion further support what we say.

    Recognising the words of affirmation love language:

    + They smile ear to ear when praised or told compliments.

    + Love public acknowledgement.

    + Often show appreciation

    + Enjoy sentimental posts and acknowledgement on social media

    It is important to note if your partner has the love language of words of affirmation:

    + Acknowledge and validate how our partner feels.

    + Be their biggest supporter and encourage them to be their best selves in a loving and respectful manner.

    + Be mindful of what we say and how it is said (tone, use of words, timing, attitude etc.)

    Examples of what to say to show love to your partner who has the love language of affirmation of words:

    + I really appreciate having you in my life.

    + I am so lucky to have you as my partner.

    + Wow you look incredible.

    + I believe in you. You’ve accomplished so much in your life and you will continue to do so!

    + I can completely understand why you would feel that way.

    + I hear you.

    Examples of actions to show love to your partner who has the love language of affirmation of words:

    + Talk to them directly face to face.

    + Compliment them.

    + Write them a love note.

    + Surprise them with a heart felt text message.

    + Speak highly of them to family, friends, colleagues etc.

    + Use a sincere and loving tone at all times.

    + Be vocal in the bedroom.

    Avoid these actions if your partner has the words of affirmations love language:

    – Criticising your partner with strong, aggressive language e.g. expletives.

    – Failing to recognise what they do for you.

    – Insulting your partner such as name calling.

    After conflict with your partner who has the words of affirmations love language?

    + A sincere and heart felt apology face to face acknowledging and taking responsibility for your actions.

    + Reminding them why you love them so much through your words such as a handwritten letter.

    + Writing a poem on why you appreciate them.

    Love Language: Quality time

    Time is not only invaluable, it is irreplaceable. It is one of the most precious gifts we can give anyone. The love language of quality time means to give your partner your full, undivided attention, to prioritise them and to share rich experiences together.

    Recognising the love language of quality time:

    + They use a diary, planner or calendar to organise their schedule and week.

    + They aren’t easily distracted.

    + They make time for loved ones such as travelling far distances to visit, rearrange their schedule, plan in advance etc.

    + Feel enriched and nourished by experiences.

    Actions your partner will love if they have the love language of quality time:

    + Plan a day trip or weekend away

    + Go for a holiday together

    + Cook dinner together

    + Go for a walk together

    + Take a moment to ask how their day was to spark a meaningful conversation

    + Give them your full presence by putting your phone away, turning off the TV etc.

    Avoid these actions if your partner enjoys quality time:

    – Distractions such as constantly using your phone

    – Failing to prioritise and make time for them

    – Going a long time without seeing them

    – Not making eye contact

    – Failing to actively listen

    – Ignoring your partner, stonewalling, the silent treatment.

    After conflict with your partner who values quality time?

    + Plan a date night

    + Engage in quality conversation

    + Be deliberate with your time

    Love Language: Receiving gifts

    Expressing your love with a thought out item which symbolises love and appreciation. It is not to be confused with materialism, the price of the item is not the value of the gift. It is about the sentiment of the gift. A token of affection. It is about putting yourself in their shoes to show them how attentive you are. It truly is the thought that counts.

    Recognising the love language of receiving gifts:

    + They give sentimental gifts e.g. custom items, handmade items, antique items.

    + Spoil people with gifts.

    + Bring back souvenirs from holidays.

    + Enjoy shopping.

    + Always have wrapping paper, ribbon, gift bags, gift tags and cards on hand.

    How to make your partner feel loved if they value receiving gifts:

    + Take notice of what makes them smile and sparks joy. What do they mention in passing?

    + Personalising gifts

    + Surprise gifts such as flowers

    + A homemade card or scrapbook

    + An item that can be worn everyday as a daily reminder of love such as jewellery

    – Forgetting a special occasions such as your anniversary, birthdays and Valentine’s Day

    – Awkward timings of gifts e.g. a grand gesture early on in the relationship

    After conflict with someone who values gift receiving?

    + A token of love. Even better it could be something sentimental and dear to them.

    Acts of service

    Actions speak louder than words. Help alleviate stress and spark joy in their lives, by sharing the responsibilities of life with your partner.

    Your partner has the love language of acts of service if they have:

    + They have discussed or set up a plan to share chores.

    + They always thank you after you have helped around the house and tell you how much they appreciate it.

    + The undertake household tasks without you asking.

    + Spend lots of time undertaking tasks.

    + Speak about how much they have to do.

    How to make your partner feel loved if they have the love language of acts of service:

    + Proactively notice tasks that need to be done.

    + Household chores such as taking out the rubbish, tidying any mess, vacuuming and mopping the floors, cleaning the bathroom, ironing, folding the laundry etc.

    + Making dinner when they’re home late because of work.

    + Making a coffee in the morning when they are rushing to work.

    Avoid these actions if their love language is acts of service:

    – Failing to follow through with what you promise to do.

    – Being ambivalent.

    – Not being there for your partner to support.

    – Being lazy.

    – Creating more work for your partner e.g. spilling something and not cleaning it up, leaving dishes at the sink etc.

    After conflict with someone who has the love language of acts of service?

    – Taking action to change behaviours based on their feedback.

    Physical touch

    How to recognise if your partner has the love language of physical touch:

    + They enjoy PDA; public displays of affection such as holding hands and kissing in public.

    + Enjoy massages.

    + Smile ear to ear when you kiss or hug them.

    + Give firm, lingering hugs.

    + Always greet you with a kiss.

    + Enjoy cuddling and spooning.

    + Frequently lovingly touch you e.g. light touches on your leg, running their hands on your back or through your hair

    How to make your partner feel loved if their love language is physical touch:

    + Holding hands.

    + Kissing.

    + Touching.

    + Hugging.

    + Massages.

    + Spooning.

    + Sexual Intercourse.

    + Initiating touch.

    + Dancing together.

    Avoid these actions if your partner has the love language of physical touch:

    – Long moments of time without intimacy.

    – Withholding affection.

    – Physical neglect or abuse.

    After conflict with your partner who has the love language of physical touch?

    – Cuddling. Holding each other without speaking.

    – Make up sex.

    In conclusion about love languages:

    Love languages help us identify how to best love our partner. They also help us understand our own love language so that we are able to communicate to our partners on how to best love us. 

    Further resources:

    By extension, the importance of loving yourself, 46 affirmations to radiate self love and the power of being in a mindset of vitality.

    A quiz to understand what love language you are 5 Love Languages

    Frequently asked questions such as if your love language changes as you get older?

    Do love languages actually matter? Psychologists weigh in – Mic

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