Grow Through It

  • 88: Live Human Design Reading with Robyn Wilton (Bleed On It) 6/3 Emotional Projector

    A live condensed human design reading with Robyn Wilton from Bleed On It. She is a rare 6/3 Projector with an emotional authority. We discuss her Saturn Return, business journey and her karmic soul purpose. 

     

    Resources from today's episode

    Robyn Wilton - Bleed On It - Human Design

    While this is a condensed full human design reading and experience, Phi dives into Robyn’s Human Design as a 6/3 Emotional Projector. We dive into her Saturn Return in terms of human design too. This transformative phase, typically occurring in the late 20s or early 30s, brings challenges, growth, and an invitation to realign with one’s true purpose. We unpack how Robyn’s Saturn return is reflected in her Human Design chart, discussing the energetic themes and personal lessons that arise during this pivotal time including her business journey with Bleed On It. 

    Furthermore we discuss how Robyn has a few rare elements to her chart whether it be her 6/3 personality as well as karmic lifetime. 

    Tune in for an intimate exploration of the power and insight Human Design can bring to life transitions.

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  • 87: Embracing Cycles – A Journey into Menstrual Wisdom with Robyn Wilton from Bleed On It

    In this episode, we sit down with Robyn Wilton, the founder of Bleed On It, to explore the profound wisdom of menstrual cycles and cyclical living. Robyn shares her personal journey, the inspiration behind her work, and offers practical advice for embracing the natural rhythms of the menstrual cycle. We delve into societal conditioning, workplace challenges, and the importance of rest, while also addressing common misconceptions about menstrual health. Tune in to gain valuable insights on how to navigate the emotional and physical aspects of cyclical living.

    Resources from today's episode

    Robyn Wilton - Bleed On It

    In this enlightening episode, we welcome Robyn Wilton, the passionate founder of Bleed On It, to explore the intricacies of menstrual health and the art of cyclical living. Robyn begins by sharing her personal journey and the motivation behind creating Bleed On It, offering a heartfelt glimpse into her mission to empower others through education and support around menstrual cycles. 

    Bleed On It Bleed On It is a platform founded by Robyn dedicated to empowering individuals by providing education and support on menstrual health and cyclical living. Through resources, workshops, and community engagement, it aims to help people understand and embrace their menstrual cycles, fostering a more harmonious relationship with their bodies.

    She provides a comprehensive overview of the menstrual cycle, breaking down its phases and emphasising the importance of understanding these natural rhythms for overall well-being.

    Robyn delves into the concept of cyclical living, explaining how it aligns with the menstrual cycle and why it’s a vital practice for anyone seeking to live in harmony with their body’s natural flow. For those new to cyclical living, she offers practical tips to ease into the practice, acknowledging that it can seem overwhelming at first but highlighting how it can transform one’s relationship with their body.

    The conversation takes a look at societal conditioning and workplace culture, discussing how these factors can often lead to the perception that menstruation is a burden. Robyn offers insightful advice on how to navigate these challenges, including how to communicate menstrual-related needs in the workplace effectively.

    Rest, a key component of cyclical living, is another focus of the discussion. Robyn shares her personal strategies for rest, underscoring its importance and offering listeners actionable ways to incorporate genuine rest into their lives. She also addresses common misconceptions about menstrual cycles and cyclical living, debunking myths and providing clarity on what it truly means to live in tune with one’s cycle.

    Robyn reflects on her upbringing in an open household where conversations about bodies and sex were normalized. The episode also explores her experiences such as Supper Club.

    To wrap up, Robyn leaves you with key takeaways about menstrual cycles and cyclical living, ensuring that you can walk away with a deeper understanding and actionable insights to apply in their own lives.

    To learn more about Robyn Wilton and her work, visit Bleed On It.

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  • 86: Lion’s Gate August 2024

    Take a journey through the mystical Lions Gate Portal, a time of heightened spiritual energy and cosmic alignment. Phi talks about how this celestial event can amplify your personal growth and manifestation abilities. Discover transformative journaling prompts and empowering affirmations designed to help you harness the portal’s energy, clear blockages, and open yourself to new possibilities. Tune in to learn how to make the most of this auspicious period and align with your higher purpose.

    Beautiful Soul, as this episode is released I am currently running a retreat in Bali which centres all around the Lion’s Gate episode and so I wanted to share some of the magic with you in an episode about the Lion’s Gate which is 8/8.

    In the ancient tapestry of human history, the stars have always guided us, providing insights in to the secrets of the universe and providing light on our paths. The Sirius star system holds a place of profound significance, particularly in the context of the Lion’s Gate Portal.

    For the ancient Egyptians, Sirius was not merely a distant star but a cosmic beacon of rebirth and transformation. Known as “Sopdet” in their language, Sirius heralded the start of the annual flooding of the Nile, a life-giving event that transformed the arid land into a fertile oasis. This celestial event was more than an astronomical occurrence; it was a sacred promise of renewal and abundance, deeply intertwined with the cycles of life and the spiritual rhythms of the cosmos.

    As the Lion’s Gate Portal opens, it does so with the energy of Sirius at its core. This cosmic gateway, which peaks every year around August 8th, is a powerful alignment of our Sun with Sirius and the Earth’s position in the sky. It symbolises a period of extraordinary potential, a time when the energies of Sirius blend with the dynamic force of the Leo constellation, creating a potent moment for manifestation and transformation.

    Sirius, the brightest star in our night sky, has long been associated with the divine, the mysterious, and the transformative. Its light, arriving from over 8 light-years away, illuminates not just our physical world but also our inner landscapes, offering a glimpse into the deeper realms of our consciousness. When aligned with the Lion’s Gate, this star amplifies the energies of courage, creativity, and leadership, urging us to embrace our highest potential.

    The numerology of the date 8/8 also plays a role in the abundance and prosperous energy that comes with the Lion’s Gate. The number 8 symbolises infinity, balance, and material success, reinforcing themes of wealth and achievement. Many believe that the Lion’s Gate acts as a cosmic portal, elevating our vibrational frequency and making it easier to attract and receive abundance.

    Let this be a time to reconnect with the ancient wisdom of the stars, to honor the cosmic cycles that guide us, and to embrace the radiant energy that flows through the Lion’s Gate. As you stand before this energetic gateway, know that the universe is aligning in your favour and the time has come to step boldly into the fullness of your potential.

    How to tap into Lion's Gate August 2024

    Imagine a celestial gateway opening wide, its frame adorned with the shimmering light of a thousand stars. This is the Lion’s Gate Portal, where the universe aligns in a cosmic symphony to amplify your dreams and desires.

    As the sun’s golden rays meld with the radiant energy of Sirius, the Lion’s Gate ushers in a wave of potent, transformative power. It’s a time when the fierce, regal energy of the lion merges with the vast expansiveness of the cosmos, creating a celestial dance that invites you to step into your most authentic self.

    Feel the heartbeat of the lion’s courage pulsing through you—a rhythm that urges you to rise, to claim your space, and to boldly stride towards your deepest aspirations. This is no ordinary moment; it’s a call to awaken the fierce lioness within, to harness her strength and her unyielding spirit to manifest your dreams.

    Envision yourself standing before this majestic portal, the shimmering light wrapping around you like a warm embrace. The Lion’s Gate invites you to shed old fears, to release what no longer serves you, and to step boldly into the limitless potential that lies ahead. It’s a time for profound transformation, where you can align your intentions with the vibrant energy of the cosmos and let your heart’s true desires take flight.

    Let the lion’s roar echo through your being, filling you with the confidence to pursue your passions and dreams with unwavering determination. This is a moment to embrace your inner power, to lead with grace and authenticity, and to manifest the life you’ve always envisioned.

    As you walk through this cosmic gateway, carry with you the wisdom of the lion: the courage to face challenges, the strength to overcome obstacles, and the heart to follow your dreams with fierce, unrelenting passion. The universe is aligning in your favour, opening doors you never knew existed, and illuminating the path to your highest potential.

    Embrace the Lion’s Gate Portal as your invitation to shine, to dream boldly, and to manifest the life you’ve always desired. Step into this radiant energy with confidence, knowing that the cosmos is conspiring in your favor, and let your dreams roar into reality.

    Lion's Gate Journal Prompts Questions August 2024

    How can you shift your money mindset to align with the abundant and transformative energy of the Lion’s Gate?
Reflect on your current beliefs and attitudes toward money. How can you transform these beliefs to embrace abundance and prosperity, using the powerful energies of the Lion’s Gate?

    How can you align your personal goals with the cosmic energies of the Lion’s Gate to create a harmonious path forward?
Examine your current goals. How can you synchronize them with the expansive and transformative energies of the Lion’s Gate?

    What symbolic meaning does the lion hold for you personally, and how can you embody these qualities to fuel your personal transformation?
Consider the lion’s symbolism—courage, strength, leadership. How can you incorporate these traits into your life during this portal?

    How can you use the Lion’s Gate Portal to deepen your connection with your spiritual guides or higher self?
Explore ways to strengthen your connection with your spiritual guides or higher self. How can the Lion’s Gate enhance this relationship?

    What is one significant change you wish to make in your life, and how can the Lion’s Gate energy help you initiate and sustain this transformation?
Identify a major change you want to make. How can you use the powerful energies of the Lion’s Gate to begin and maintain this change?

    In what ways can you honor and integrate the themes of abundance and prosperity into your life during this Lion’s Gate Portal?
Reflect on how you can invite abundance and prosperity into your life. How can you use the Lion’s Gate to amplify these themes?

    How can the Lion’s Gate inspire you to re-evaluate and redefine your sense of purpose and direction in life?
Consider your current sense of purpose and direction. How can the inspiration from the Lion’s Gate lead you to re-assess and possibly redefine your path?

    What creative or visionary project can you initiate or enhance during the Lion’s Gate, and how can you ensure it aligns with your highest aspirations?
Think about a creative or visionary project you’re passionate about. How can the Lion’s Gate help you kickstart or elevate this project to align with your highest goals?

    Lion's Gate Affirmations Mantra August 2024

    Here are 8 affirmations and mantras for the Lion’s Gate to close this episode

    “I connect deeply with my inner lion, harnessing the strength and wisdom within me.”

    “I align with the cosmic energies of the Lion’s Gate, manifesting clarity and vision for my future.”

    “I embrace the transformation that comes with this powerful portal, welcoming growth and new beginnings.”

    “I channel the fierce energy of the Lion’s Gate to break through barriers and achieve my goals.”

    “I am a creator of my reality, using this potent time to set intentions that resonate with my true self.”

    “I celebrate my unique gifts and contributions, knowing they make a significant impact in the world.”

    “I open myself to receive divine guidance and wisdom, trusting the universe to lead me towards my highest path.”

    “I embody the regal energy of the Lion’s Gate, confidently stepping into my power and claiming my space.”

    If you’re looking to work with me I have human design readings available in September as well as more 1:1 coaching spots opening up! Please get in touch with me via Instagram messages or email.

    Until next time Love & Positivity 

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  • 85: Leo New Moon August 2024

    In this episode we explore the transformative energy of the Leo New Moon of August 2024, delving into how this potent lunar phase can inspire creativity and self-expression. Phi shares insightful journal prompts and empowering affirmations to help you tap into your inner lion, set bold intentions, and align with your true passions.

    Hello Beautiful Soul, Welcome to August 2024 and we are officially in Leo season with the upcoming new moon on the 4th. Before I dive into it a quick life and business update, July has been the biggest month to date in business this year and August is officially booked out too. New 1:1 coaching spots will open up in September with one already snapped up as well as human design readings. September is going to be a big month in my world watch this space… and I am so excited I’m literally recording this the day before I fly to Bali to hold my first retreat with 8 incredible women. Again spots will open up for the Bali 2025 retreat likely in October for August 2025 so if you’re interested in retreats, 1:1 coaching or human design please feel free to message me on Instagram or email me to get on waitlists.

    Okay let’s go Leo New Moon! This is the most potent and magical time for manifestations as it tees up nicely with the Lion’s Gate portal of 8/8. The background to all this as we have been witnessing collectively is funky, big mysterious changes are ahead for all but we can’t say for sure what look at what’s unfolding in the US elections and the perception of the Paris Olympic Games Opening Ceremony. 

    I’m being told to focus on the inner light and not being drawn to the funk that is there. To channel big LEO energy.

    Leo New Moon Energy and Vibe August 2024

    Imagine a stage bathed in golden light, where the spotlight finds its true home on a single, radiant figure. The main character. This is the essence of Leo—You are both the star and the stage, your heart the music.

    Leo is the heroine of her own grand narrative, embodying a fierce bravery that defies the ordinary. She strides onto the scene with a boldness that electrifies the air, her every movement a testament to the courage it takes to follow one’s heart. Her path is illuminated by an inner light that refuses to be dimmed, a beacon guiding her through shadows and challenges alike.

    In the grand theatre of life, Leo doesn’t just seek the spotlight—she commands it. She leads with a charisma that captivates and inspires, drawing others to her side with the magnetic pull of her authentic self. Her leadership isn’t about dominance, but about setting the stage for others to discover their own brilliance, too.

    Leo’s energy is a celebration of self-expression in its purest form. Imagine a canvas where every stroke is a vivid declaration of who you are, a palette bursting with colors that have been waiting for this moment to be expressed. In the Leo light, there is no room for self-doubt; only the exuberant joy of being unapologetically you. It’s an invitation to sing your own song, dance your own dance, and paint your own masterpiece.

    At the heart of Leo’s essence lies a deep connection to the inner child—the part of you that dreams without limits and loves without fear. Leo beckons you to reconnect with that pure, playful spirit, to embrace the wonder and curiosity that once defined your world. It’s about rediscovering the magic that lives in the simplest moments and allowing it to fuel your creative endeavours and personal growth.

    To be touched by Leo’s energy is to feel the pulse of possibility, the call to rise above mediocrity and embrace the fullness of one’s own potential. It’s a call to harness the raw, untamed power of the heart and channel it into dreams, passions, and aspirations.

    Leo calls us to embrace your inner spotlight, take bold steps towards your dreams, and lead with the fearless love that only you can give. The world awaits the story only you can tell, so shine brightly and let your light blaze a path for others to follow.

    Leo New Moon Journal Prompts Questions August 2024

    Here are 8 powerful journal prompts that you can do to channel the energy of the Leo New Moon in August 2024;

    What is a dream or goal you’ve been hesitant to pursue, and how can embracing Leo’s courage help you take the first step?
Reflect on a dream or goal you’ve been holding back on. How can you channel Leo’s bravery to move forward with confidence?


    How can you better express your authentic self, and what does self-expression look like for you under this Leo New Moon?
Consider ways you can show up more authentically in your life. What forms of self-expression resonate with you, and how can you incorporate them into your daily routine?


    What are the areas of your life where you feel like you’re not fully shining, and what actions can you take to bring more light and visibility to these aspects?
Identify areas where you might be holding back. What steps can you take to let your true self shine in these areas?


    In what ways can you embrace your inner child and allow her to guide you in pursuing your passions and desires?
Connect with your inner child’s dreams and creativity. How can embracing this playful spirit help you pursue what you truly want?


    How can you use the Leo New Moon energy to set powerful intentions for your personal and professional growth?
Write down your intentions for this lunar cycle. How can you align these intentions with Leo’s themes of leadership, creativity, confidence and inspired action?


    What does being a leader mean to you, and how can you embody Leo’s leadership qualities in your daily life?
Reflect on your personal definition of leadership. How can you take charge of your life and inspire others while embodying Leo’s dynamic qualities?


    What fears or self-doubts are holding you back from fully embracing your potential, and how can you use the Leo New Moon to overcome them?
Explore any fears or doubts that might be inhibiting your growth. How can you use Leo’s fearless energy to address and overcome these challenges?


    How can you celebrate and honor your achievements, no matter how small, and use Leo’s energy to build a habit of self-celebration and gratitude?
Identify ways to recognise and celebrate your accomplishments. How can you build a practice of acknowledging your successes and cultivating gratitude with Leo’s vibrant energy?


    Leo New Moon Journal Affirmations Mantras August 2024

    As well as 8 Leo New Moon mantras and affirmations to play with in August 2024:

    Under the Leo New Moon’s glow, I unleash my inner fire, embrace my creative brilliance, and manifest my most audacious dreams.”

    I welcome the Leo New Moon’s energy as a catalyst for my personal evolution and bold new beginnings.

    With each breath, I channel the majestic energy of Leo, turning aspirations into reality with fearless grace.

    My heart beats with the rhythm of courage, guiding me to leap beyond my comfort zone and into greatness.

    In the spotlight of the New Moon, I shed my old self and emerge as a dazzling new version of me.

    My voice is a powerful instrument, and under the New Moon, I tune it to the frequency of my highest aspirations.

    I am the cosmic playwright, penning a new act filled with courage, creativity, and boundless potential.

    I harness the fierceness of Leo Energy  to illuminate my path, fuelling my journey with passion and purpose. 

    I hope you have the most beautiful potent Leo New Moon my love, until next time love & positivity 

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  • 84: Capricorn Full Moon

    Insight into the energy and vibe of the Capricorn Full Moon taking place July 21st 2024. This episode also provides journaling prompts and questions for the Capricorn Full Moon with the themes being that of family, career, letting go, endings and beginnings as well as balance. 

    This full moon is the second in that of Capricorn with the first one taking place 4 weeks prior on the 21st of June. Think of the previous full moon laying down foundational pieces of insights and information with this full moon to conclude it. You might find you’re having a do over, second review, a second chance as to whatever was taking place around the 21st of June. Was there something weighing you down? Something that didn’t fully finish? Something you needed to take responsibility for? A boundary to put in place? 

    Cancer and Leo Cusp = Family

    It’s on the cusp of Cancer transitioning into Leo season. When these two come together it’s the thematic energy of family. Cancer is the mother of all the signs ruled by the moon, the feminine. The opposing partner sign of Cancer is Capricorn seen as the father of all signs, ruled by Saturn, which we know is all about structure, discipline and hard work. 

    Saturn Retrograde Capricorn Full Moon

    Saturn is of course retrograde right now and has been since the end of June and will be until mid November this year. Paired with the full moon it’s a beautiful time to revisit, review and reassess any areas where Saturn is within your astrology and human design chart as well as general Saturninan themes such as discipline, structure, boundaries, personal responsibility and long term goals. The goal of Saturn is to establish strong foundations so keep that in mind too.

    Degree of Fate endings karma

    To also note energetically the degree in which the full moon in Capricorn is taking place is in the 29th which is the last degree of any sign known as the “degree of fate” so it marks a time where what has been brought up often signifies an ending, a breaking point, a breakthrough. The full moon in Capricorn has reached her peak, full self. It’s that moment after running a tiring marathon that it’s been a journey but at last here it is in sight the end: you can almost taste it and touch it. In fact this particular full moon in Capricorn has the nickname of the “buck moon” as during this time of the year because buck, deers, have fully developed their antlers, and it is time to shed them to start again and grow new ones.

    Again given Saturn Retrograde it may be the time for unfinished business or karma to resolve itself for you to address, grow and evolve. 

    New beginnings Capricorn Full Moon 2024

    This leads to well 0 degrees which is the starting point of any sign and in terms of the cosmos, the planet Pluto is in that for the sign of Aquarius which means collectively we can expect the unexpected of new beginnings. 

    Earth Grounding Capricorn Energy

    Without getting into the nitty gritty of everything going on in the cosmos, alongside the influences of Chiron the wounded healer in Aries, Neptune in Pisces, Mars and Uranus in Taurus it’s a dense pressure cooker with regards to internal tension and emotions arising from beneath the surface and shadows. Capricorn is an earth sign so really focus on practices such as grounding and earthing a well as spending time in nature to relax, reset and release. It’s feeling to me energetically like one of those moons that feels like a lot in the moment but afterwards and the end you feel so much better for it, lightened and lifted. Capricorn is the sea goat after all so instinctively and intuitively you know how to navigate the sometimes choppy, other times still waters of your emotions and the subconscious. 

    Journaling Prompts Capricorn Full Moon 2024

    Without further ado, let’s get into some journaling prompts shall we?

    Timing + Energy

    Reflect on what was going on for you at the end of June compared to now?

    What is coming to an end for you at this moment in time? What do you consciously want to let go of and shed?

    Can you relate to a deer and it’s time to shed antlers? Does this correlate with the season and timing of your life? Linking to the past episode I did intuitively on identity shifts. Is one taking place for you in this current cycle of your life?

    How would you like to see your life shift and change in the long term, say next 5 to 10 years?

    Family

    What is the state of your current family relationships and dynamics?

    Are there any unresolved issues or tensions within my family that need addressing at this point in time? How can you approach this from a compassion and nurturing perspective for yourself?

    Career and Reputation

    Capricorn is linked to career and public image/reputation. 

    What is currently going on for you in your career and is there anything you need to complete and/or let go of? Is there a desire or need to recalibrate within your career? 

    How do you think you are perceived at this point in time whether it’s personally or professionally? What can you do off the back of this information?

    Emotions

    How can you balance your emotional needs with your personal responsibilities? 

    Reflect on a harmonious balance and interplay for you between nurturing yourself and having discipline and structure. Perhaps take inspiration from deer: gentle, sweet, innocent, graceful, loving, strong, protective – they are very attuned to what is going on around them.

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  • 83: Navigating Identity Shifts: Embracing Change

    Are you feeling like you are changing? You might be going through an identity shift. This episode is all about what is an identity shift, why an identity shift may occur, the emotions that can come up when going through an identity shift as well as practical tips and mindset perspectives on how to navigate and embrace an identity shift happening.

    Hello beautiful souls, and welcome to today’s episode inspired by the 8 beautiful women I am taking on retreat to Bali in less than 3 weeks! A beautiful golden thread that weaves amongst us all is that we are all navigating and relating identity shifts whether its in regards to different stages of life or a coming of ages for example.

    It’s so interesting for me to speak about it especially given my human design personally I have a completely open and undefined g centre and with that comes a common misconception especially for reflectors that it means you have no identity which isn’t true. I definitely have one and if you were to ask people who is Phi I think you’d find they would say human design expert, life coach, positivity queen, beach living, the colour orange, sunflowers and so fourth.

    Thus we have this concept of self appointed identity and your true identity. There’s so many layers to this and I delve into this in greater depth in Chapter 7 Self Identity of my book The Great Unlearning available as a physical book, e book and audiobook too by the way!

    I write that learning is that 

    You are (insert name). You are (insert number) years old. You are a (insert job here). 

    Who are you? Who are you really? Are you you because of you or because the world made you this way? Do you know your place in this world? How do you answer those awkward ice breakers in a group environment? Fun fact about yourself? (Cue the anxiety racking your brain for one.) Two truths and a lie? What makes you, you? You are normal, right? 

    Human Design as a tool to navigate an identity shift

    We have labels and ways we attempt to understand ourselves ultimately as a divine soul having a human experience. Our identity is one of those ways we make sense of the world and the best tool, modality and framework for that in my opinion is human design because it’s so incredibly powerful. It’s a map and guide to who you are through the lens of your energy, personality, where energy flows between different parts of who you are, life themes and amongst a diverse and rich set of information found in your human design blueprint which I’ll add I do readings as well as online blueprints which you can find on my website and to book in a reading with me.

    Saturn Return and Identity Shift

    So how did identity shifts come into the fold of conversation well the other day last week I found myself at the beach on the sand after I swim where I used to live for four years and it dawned on me that I hadn’t been back since I moved out off the back of the breakup 2 years ago with my ex partner of 3 years.

    I had this moment where I was like wow I am so different to the girl who used to come to this beach everyday whether it was 5am before work and side hustle life coaching or 11am on a Monday to soak in my new found freedom running my own business.

    That in itself I had so many identities tied to this one moment time and strangely but not really because nothing is a coincidence is it, that hey I happened to also end up at this beach around the time we parted ways for good when my ex partner moved back to England.

    A few of the identity interplays I had back then:

    I was going through my Saturn Return at around the age of 27. Before my Saturn Return begun I had just moved to my own two bedroom apartment and planned to have a hot girl single summer before I ended up meeting my ex partner, falling in love and he moved in with me. I was in a high flying corporate job as a brand strategy manager when the pandemic happened and with reduced work hours I had the downtime to start my passion project my Instagram which led to my side hustle as a life coach by demand and now it’s almost three years full time as a life  coach in my own business. 

    By the end of my Saturn Return my ex partner and I broke up and I moved to my dream apartment at a neighbouring iconic beach. If we take Saturn Return to extend to 31 for it’s final completion that’s still underway but here I am thriving and loving life three years as a life coach, have written a book, made multiple 6 figures in my business, about to take a group of incredible 8 women on retreat to Bali and recently celebrated one year with my new partner. Whewwww Saturn Return I know. As you can see so many different identities here: single, in a relationship, corporate identity, employee, self employed like even the suburbs I lived in previously was more a beach lifestyle, chilled settled down community to iconic, busy and bustling.

    Unlearning like a phoenix with your identity

    It aligns and makes sense to me of course that my book is The Great Unlearning: Awakening to living an Aligned and Authentic Life with the symbol being that of a phoenix. See that as a parallel to our identities within a life time, dying to rise and reborn from the ashes of our previous.

    Such a worthwhile, life changing experience of identity shifts but not without it’s challenges, I think these two quotes could summarise my experience:

    “Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.”

    “We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”

    What is an identity shift?

    Identity shifts refer to significant changes in the way individuals perceive themselves and how they define their roles, values, and beliefs. These shifts can occur gradually or suddenly and can be influenced by various internal and external factors. They often involve a reevaluation of one’s self-concept and can lead to a transformation in behavior, attitudes, and life choices.

    Why do identity shifts happen?

    Life Transitions

    Major life events such as marriage, divorce, becoming a parent, or experiencing the death of a loved one can trigger identity shifts.

    These transitions often require individuals to adapt to new roles and responsibilities, leading to a redefinition of their self-identity.

     

    “Grief does not change you, Hazel. It reveals you.”

    When my Dad was ill and passed away when I just turned 20 I became someone who lives life to the fullest, travel, try things I would never do such as when he was sick backpacking around Europe at 18/19 solo. Going to a festival by myself at Tomorrowland. Opening myself up to new experiences I previously said I would never do or consider.

    Personal Growth

    As people grow and mature, their values, beliefs, and priorities can change.

    Personal development activities, such as education, therapy, or spiritual practices, can facilitate self-discovery and identity shifts.

    Coming out of spiritual closet, feel more comfortable once I left my corporate job for example but if I’m honest it started earlier with me sharing updates on the moon.

    Career Changes

    Changing careers or job roles can significantly impact one’s sense of identity.

    Entrepreneur the way I see money e.g. investment vs a debt.

    Moving from a familiar profession to a new one can lead to a reassessment of skills, strengths, and professional identity.

    Going back to school, higher education.

    Cultural and Social influences

    Migration, exposure to different cultures, or changes in societal norms can prompt identity shifts.

    Adapting to new cultural environments can lead to a blending or reevaluation of cultural identities.

    Going back to Vietnam sparked this in me. A sense of pride, understanding my family more, my roots, ancestry and lineage.

    Health and Wellbeing

    Experiencing a major health crisis or achieving significant health goals can alter self-perception.

    Overcoming illness or making substantial lifestyle changes can lead to a renewed sense of self.

    Relationships

    Entering or leaving significant relationships can prompt identity shifts.

    Interactions with new social circles, partners, or mentors can influence one’s self-concept.

    Psychological

    Comparison to other people, self discovery 

    Inner reflections, midlife crises, or existential questions can lead to identity shifts.

    Individuals might seek deeper meaning and purpose, prompting a reevaluation of their identity.

    Identity Shift and Emotional Journey

    1. Confusion and Uncertainty

    • Loss of Familiarity:
      • Individuals may feel disoriented as they navigate new roles and identities, leading to a sense of loss regarding their former self.
    • Questioning Self-Worth:
      • During the transition, self-doubt and uncertainty about one’s abilities and value can emerge, challenging self-esteem.

    2. Anxiety and Stress

    • Fear of the Unknown:
      • The unpredictability associated with identity shifts can cause anxiety, as individuals worry about adapting to new circumstances and the potential for failure.
    • Pressure to Adapt:
      • The need to quickly adjust to new roles or environments can be stressful, particularly if external expectations are high. You want to be like a duck on water already but it takes time.

    3. Grief and Loss

    • Mourning the Old Identity:
      • Letting go of a previous identity can evoke feelings of grief and loss, similar to mourning a significant life change.
    • Sense of Nostalgia:
      • Reflecting on past roles and experiences can trigger nostalgia, sometimes making it difficult to fully embrace the new identity.

    4. Excitement and Empowerment

    • Opportunities for Growth:
      • Identity shifts often present opportunities for personal and professional growth, leading to feelings of excitement and anticipation.
    • Sense of Achievement:
      • Successfully navigating an identity shift can boost confidence and a sense of accomplishment, reinforcing self-efficacy.

    5. Resilience and Adaptability

    • Building Resilience:
      • Overcoming the challenges of an identity shift can enhance resilience, as individuals learn to adapt and thrive in new circumstances.
    • Strengthening Coping Mechanisms:
      • Developing new coping strategies during the transition can improve overall emotional and psychological well-being.

    6. Identity Confusion and Crisis

    • Struggle with Self-Concept:
      • Identity shifts can lead to an identity crisis, where individuals struggle to reconcile different aspects of their self-concept.
    • Existential Questions:
      • Deep questioning of one’s purpose, values, and life direction can arise, leading to a period of introspection and self-exploration.

    7. Improved Self-Awareness

    • Enhanced Self-Understanding:
      • The process of navigating an identity shift can lead to greater self-awareness and a deeper understanding of one’s values, strengths, and passions.
    • Clarified Life Goals:
      • Reassessing one’s identity often results in more clearly defined life goals and a stronger sense of direction.

    8. Social and Relational Impacts

    • Changes in Relationships:
      • Identity shifts can alter dynamics in personal and professional relationships, as others adjust to the individual’s new identity.
    • Seeking Support:
      • Building a supportive network of friends, family, or professional counselors can be crucial in managing the emotional impacts of the transition.
          

    9. Emotional Rollercoaster

    • Fluctuating Emotions:
      • The journey through an identity shift is often marked by fluctuating emotions, including moments of joy, frustration, hope, and despair.
    • Navigating Ambiguity:
      • Learning to navigate the ambiguity and mixed emotions associated with identity shifts is a key part of the process.

    10. Acceptance and Integration

    • Embracing Change:
      • Gradually accepting and integrating the new identity can lead to a sense of peace and wholeness.
    • Authentic Self-Expression:
      • The culmination of an identity shift often results in more authentic self-expression and a more cohesive sense of self.

    Identity Shift Process; Framework of Stages

    1. Disruption:
      • An event or realization disrupts the current sense of identity.
      • This can cause feelings of confusion, anxiety, or loss.
    1. Exploration:
      • Individuals begin to explore new roles, beliefs, and values.
      • This phase involves self-reflection, experimentation, and seeking new experiences.
    1. Integration:
      • New aspects of identity are integrated into the self-concept.
      • This stage involves accepting and embracing the new identity, leading to a more cohesive sense of self.
    1. Stabilization:
      • The new identity becomes more stable and consistent.
      • Individuals feel more comfortable and confident in their new roles and self-perception.

    Mindset perspectives on identity shifts

    "In any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or step back into safety."

    “To change who you are, change who you think you are.”

    Who are you being? What would your highest self do?

    “The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.”

    “Change is inevitable. Growth is optional.”

    Other points Phi discusses:

    • Seek support
    • Practice self care and patience
    • Self reflection and awareness: having consistent practices such as journaling
    • Values work
    • An open growth mindset
    • The past, present and future integration
    • Balancing reflection and taking action

    "Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do"

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  • The Great Unlearning: 1st Anniversary

    Join me on this special anniversary episode celebrating the first birthday of The Great Unlearning! I share the journey from inception to impact of my first debut book. This episode weaves in human design as to how I approached writing the book as well as updates from key experiences of my life I shared in the book too! Expect stories, musings and reflections.

     

    The journey of The Great Unlearning

    Hello beautiful soul,

    I can’t believe I am saying this and it still feels surreal, Happy 1st birthday to my debut first book – The Great Unlearning: Awakening to Living an Aligned and authentic life. It was one year ago today on June 23rd 2023 that she was released and I’m honestly still taking a moment to reflect on the year that’s gone by and this is where this episode is coming in! Celebrations, reflections and musing in honour of TGU’s 1st birthday. 

    I still remember when the book was a seedling of an idea around the time I launched in her vitality which was previously my Instagram handle when I first started a mental health passion project which was that page and it’s now evolved to well me @thephidang and being a life coach. 

    I’ve just had a look on Instagram and I started my page on August 3rd 2019, which then became my own personal brand which was around 200 weeks ago so around the end of August/beginning September 2020! I remember I was so scared going from anonymous, to showing my face and then fully making the account ‘me.’ Shortly after that I began life coaching on demand, as a side hustle to my corporate career and in September 2021 I resigned to go all in and full time as a life coach. At the beginning of 2022 was when I signed my book deal, started writing The Great Unlearning and the publication date June 23 2023. Wow! What a journey it’s been. 

    A lifelong childhood dream fulfilled

    It still remains and will remain as one of the best moments of my life to have fulfilled a life long dream to not only write a book but publish one, I still get so giddy seeing the book in a bookstore or having someone share their thoughts and experience in reading the book! Which I will cheekily say, it would mean the world to me to have your support, if you have read it to please leave a book review somewhere or talk about it with a friend, it helps me spread the word and get it read by more people on my mission to help everyone unlearn everything that holds you back.

    Diving into this episode I thought I would take you behind the scenes of what it’s like to get an idea for a book. to write it and have it published too. From having the idea to write a book, looking back in hindsight through the lens of human design: from a young age I’ve always loved literature, my Dad was an English teacher in Vietnam and I remember him reading me books before I would sleep every night. I have this clear memory of starting school, being in kindergarten and our teacher asked us to draw pictures of what we did over the weekend. I remember drawing a soccer ball and house, writing ‘house’ and ‘ball’ underneath. The memory is so vivid because my teacher was shocked asking how did I already know how to write and I proudly said my dad taught me at home! I have really lovely memories of him reading to me but also helping me write and draw shapes.

    Being seen as a hermit, 2, in human design

    Fast forward at school English was one of my best subjects alongside business and economics which again make sense because I genuinely loved all three (well maybe definitely english and business over economics which became too math-y for my liking and enjoyment at a University level). Being a hermit (2 profile line) one of the characteristics is natural talents and I recall many people saying I was great at English and writing, it would go on to be the core of what I share with the world too on Instagram (which wasn’t always this way, I posted more heavy informational based ones or quotes by other people) until a client was like Phi, you have such a way with words when you talk, I can only imagine if you wrote them down too like I do in my sessions, I think you need to do this on your Instagram. The first time I blew up my Instagram was when I did my own writing on men’s mental health and it rapidly grew ever since stemming from my writing (which also helped me secure my book deal because I could actually write (and not have a ghostwriter which some people do, some will disclose and others don’t!). 

    Diving into this episode I thought I would take you behind the scenes of what it’s like to get an idea for a book. to write it and have it published too. From having the idea to write a book, looking back in hindsight through the lens of human design: from a young age I’ve always loved literature, my Dad was an English teacher in Vietnam and I remember him reading me books before I would sleep every night. I have this clear memory of starting school, being in kindergarten and our teacher asked us to draw pictures of what we did over the weekend. I remember drawing a soccer ball and house, writing ‘house’ and ‘ball’ underneath. The memory is so vivid because my teacher was shocked asking how did I already know how to write and I proudly said my dad taught me at home! I have really lovely memories of him reading to me but also helping me write and draw shapes.

    Manifesting generator and how the idea forThe Great Unlearning came about

    This is where the magic of human design comes in before I even consciously realised as a manifesting generator our strategy is to ‘respond’ to the world. Whilst as a young girl I loved the idea of writing a book because I loved books, I didn’t actually know what I would write about… 

    what would unfurl a lot later on in my life from my mid twenties was a series and string of things to respond to.

    The first one being around 2019, 2020 in the lead up to the pandemic and during, I was starting to read more personal growth and development books, which I had done on and off over the years (again very manifesting generator to be obsessed with something for a moment, then your obsession goes to something else, and then back again!) as I deepened my own personal spirituality. I remember distinctly thinking you know what I would love to write a book someday and maybe it will be in this genre of personal growth since I love it so much. The next signal would come a year later after coaching clients for a while, the idea for the book downloaded through me in the form of an ‘aha’ moment – reflecting on coaching clients women, men, all over the world of different ages I saw a clear theme emerge in what I was talking about: unlearning! 

    What is unlearning?

    Putting that together with how I felt too because when you read a lot these books they are so inspiring but you also have this tinge of there’s so much to learn and you’ll unconsciously start seeding maybe there’s something wrong with me, maybe I don’t know enough… in our journey towards self-improvement, we tend to focus on acquiring new knowledge, skills, and habits. 

    However, unlearning—the process of letting go of outdated beliefs, behaviours, and mindsets— which stem from our own life experiences but also programming and conditioning, thing outside of our control, things externally as we journey through life: passed down, absorbed from our parents, caretakers, friends, family, society, culture, gender was pinging in my mind! Our lives are filled with conditioning through ingrained patterns  that hinder our progress and keep us stuck in the language of “I should be…” “I need to…” “I must…” “I have to….” because… 

    What emerged for me was the hidden but always there gem and gold, the new paradigm of unlearning! Consciously choosing to unlearn, we create space for new, empowering perspectives and practices that align with our authentic selves and soul driven aspirations. From there I started to map out my own experiences and see how in my journey I have had to unlearn so much! It really does require self-awareness, courage, and a willingness to embrace change. It involves questioning the status quo, challenging long-held assumptions, and being open to new ways of thinking and being. It involves being so kind, patient and compassionate with your self as we are experiencing life as humans, we aren’t perfect nor are we meant to be.

    Human Design, masculine and feminine, writing a book

    I hadn’t come across unlearning in any books I had read and so I wanted to see if it was a strong concept and found my book mentor and coach, who had written several books and is also within the personal growth industry, she agreed so much whilst this was happening my corporate job and life was taking up all of the time, so when she reached out some time later saying Phi, you really need to take this concept and write a book (something else to respond to!). In finding my mentor I just had a feeling and intuitive nudge because I loved reading her book (thank you another to respond signal and intuition!). Really was something I was meant to do and meant for because the universe found a way to get me back on track through my book coach! 

    What I know of myself aligns with my human design because I am right brained (hence why I didn’t love maths in high school nor in university switching economics to marketing which I thrived along and was my gut instinct before I picked economics because looking back I thought it would be more impressive and earn more money than marketing to complement my law degree). So in terms of figuring out the book, I loved mind mapping, starting with concepts branching out, taking breaks from it to look over flesh out more with a fresh perspective. That’s my strength, ideation, and through the experience of my book coach she helped me come up with a structure for the book which felt flowy and helped me to develop the book chapters and sections.

    Honesty and transparency writing a book the involves your life

    In explaining unlearning, the best way I knew would be to draw upon my own life experiences so it was a process of reflecting, brain dumping, mind mapping. Now in drawing upon your own life experiences it is important to consider what to use and particularly if involved other people for example my family. It was important for me to let them know, know how they felt about it and ultimately their blessing as this was in alignment with my values of integrity (do what I would want someone else to do if I were in their shoes) and honouring myself (being able to have open and honest conversations). Another particular person important in this was my partner at the time and we ended up breaking up during the writing process. I ultimately got his blessing and I am grateful for that because it’s an odd and uncommon position to be in where your ex partner happens to be a life coach with an online presence and is writing a book during the time of your break up… 

    With full transparency I was meant to hand in the first full draft of the book around the time of our break up but I couldn’t given my heart was aching in my own personal journey and I knew in a book that deeply weaves my life, it would have a place in the book. I’m happy to say he and I are on good terms too, still to this day.

    Wanting a fairytale ending in real life

    The break up was hard with so many changes having gone full time in my own business, running it, having to move homes and well deal with a break up of a three year relationship. With my human design I am very much designed to be in flow and not necessarily routine so when I did get back to writing, I couldn’t face myself to write everyday personally, what worked best for me was when I got downloads in the moment writing them down as much as I could and then when lightning hit going with it again. I acknowledge I am super fortunate I run my own business so I could really structure out my week to support this feminine creative writing flow. 

    Talking about break ups, if you’ve read The Great Unlearning you know I write about wanting a partner. I kept thinking oh I’m going to get the perfect fairytale ending by the time I publish and launch the book, my new partner would be by my side. He wasn’t and on a human level yes I was a little disappointed because it would have been ‘the’ ending you know publishing a book, living in my dream home, in my dream job, with dream friends and family and a dream partner but I was so ecstatic and truly the happiest I had been in a long time, made peace with being single that it wasn’t a detriment but I felt important to acknowledge even at my book launch. The universe works in funny and mysterious ways and I swear I had a soul contract that I was not to get in a relationship until I had finished the book (a part of my soul’s mission in helping people in this lifetime) because I met my now partner almost a week after the book launch! We are still together to this day.

    Being in a relationship and unlearning

    How we met felt truly serendipitous, one of those stories where we really did meet at the perfect time. Any earlier, we wouldn’t have been together. When we spoke about our lives leading up to our meeting, we had been in each other’s orbits several years prior to even meeting whether it be living in the same suburb, at the same time and never meeting (for example even if we did I had a partner!). The way in which we met was again a series of things to respond to and so despite my huge resistance, thanks to two great girl friends, we met in one of those rare, unheard of stories. 

    In speaking to a client who’s in her season of life where she’s gone through a breakup similar timing to when I did and is still single, don’t get me wrong being in a relationship is so wonderful but that did not prevent challenges in my life still arising nor now, I’m sure anyone in a relationship will tell you that  ! Life isn’t picture perfect, bow tied up, it begins a whole other new journey in other ways as does any close relationship in life.

    Overcoming perfectionism in writing a book

    Relationships are a commitment, writing a book is also one commitment, as is like a marathon. It requires preparation, endurance, and perseverance. Just as a marathon runner must train their body and mind over long distances, as an author you must make space, dedicate time and put in effort to develop your ideas and write, write, write! I’ve grown so much on a personal level to really overcome perfectionism in any form. In the process of writing you’ll go through so many drafts, then rewrite, then be like wait what about this word or should this punctation be this or that? You come to embrace that the first draft is never it, it’s a process of refinement. Even as I’m talking about this I’m having that feeling like ooooh I would absolutely love to coach and mentor someone interested in writing a book too. Stating that, putting it out into the universe! As well as the fact I am currently open and available to taking on more 1:1 clients and human design readings so this is your green light and signal if you’ve been thinking of one! More information on my website or Dm me on my Instagram.

    Life a year after writing a book

    With undertaking something big as a marathon, as with a book it really does help you grow even more as a person. I’ve gained so much insight into myself and personal development which I think has gone hand in hand after the book having the biggest month in my business ever, having more impact and influence working with more clients around the world and now being at this point in my journey coming up to three years full time and almost four thereabouts since I started my Instagram and then life coaching, about to embark on running my first retreat in Bali 2024 in August which was almost sold out in 48 hours with the final spot going shortly afterwards. I am so excited and having been working away in the background preparing for the magic that it is going to be and already is. There also some other incredibly exciting things that I can’t quite speak about just yet but each year keeps getting bigger and better in business and that is going to continue to the end of this year in 2024 and in 2025, new offerings that I haven’t ever done before. Is another book on the horizon? I haven’t got any current plans yet but I know more than another one is within me! Watch this space.

    Family lineage, Vietnam and The Great Unlearning

    A hint on the above and what’s to come is in the book I wrote “I’ve travelled the world multiple times, but I still have not been to Vietnam. I will one day and I am sure it will bring up a mixture of emotions.” That it did! A few months after the book I went to Vietnam for the first time before going to Bali and I loved it. It was so special and healing to meet members of my family I hadn’t before or even knew about. I gained so much insight into my maternal side of the family and truly felt the presence of my grandparents whom I never met but they were definitely pleased I went and there with me (I actually had flickering lights at night as a friendly hello!). It would have to be another episode but I went to see their resting places, immerse myself in the temples thy frequented, where my mum grew up and so much more. Honestly that back half of 2023 was an absolute dream, a time I will truly cherish for the rest of my life all kickstarting with The Great Unlearning and coming into the world. 

    The Great Unlearning reviews

    To this present day, with The Great Unlearning’s first birthday I want to put her in the spotlight and thought I would share some reviews about her!

    The Great Unlearning is written by the talented author, Phi Dang who is an incredible woman who will get you results with her outstanding book. As I read Dang’s book, I was engrossed and wanted to know more, whenever a question would pop up in my mind while reading this book Dang eventually answered it, and so it truly is a beautiful reading experience!

    One of the greatest strengths of this book is Phi’s ability to connect with readers on a deep level. She writes with genuine passion and authenticity, making the content relatable and engaging. She shares her personal experiences and challenges, demonstrating that she has walked the same path she is guiding us on. 

    Dang offers some thought-provoking insights into the nature of life and what it truly means to be successful on your terms. This is an inspirational book everyone needs to read.

    The Great Unlearning Part 1: Success

    Based on conversations, feedback and reviews I’ve had, some pivotal chapters people really resonated with was timelines and money, money, money in the first part of The Great Unlearning on success. I think at it’s core having people really take a moment to check in with themselves, what does success truly mean to you? People jump to answers like money, fame and all of that but is it really what your soul wants and desires? It may be, it may be not, the core question being what does your soul truly want and desire, what’s the energy, intention and reasoning behind it, is it you or is the influenced learnings?

    The Great Unlearning Part 2: Self

    Part 2 on the self has been relatable for many whether it’s your own journey in self love and self worth based on your identity or body. Talking about pleasure has people going and I think is important to highlight too especially for women as it’s become less of an importance when pleasure is. It challenges societal norms that have historically repressed female sensuality and speaks to women feeling empowered in their own body and experiences. To hear the chapter on self-made which speaks to my journey of becoming a life coach inspiring others makes my heart so warm and I really do encourage you to go for it because you never really do know nor do you want to regret. I hope I can show you what is possible in life when you do follow your heart and soul, whilst being true and authentic to who you are.

    The Great Unlearning Part 3: Inner Being

    Part 3 inner being, the chapter ‘happiness is everything’ formed the foundation of a talk I was invited to give on toxic vs genuine positivity. Grief and heartbreak is a chapter dear to my heart too. Our inner being forms the foundation of how we feel and experience life itself from our thoughts and feelings, the importance of talking about mental health too (knowing you are not alone, we all have a mental health and the journey navigating it too). I think how it’s also imperative to speak about the unspoken things and bring out this aspect of self, psyche, the shadow (again very much in line with one of my main human design energies known as the game player in relation to taking rises and the leaps of faith).

    The Great Unlearning Part 4: Relationships

    Part 4 relationships, the feedback I’ve received is how relatable the chapters are to dating, being in a relationship and breaking up. Hearing how many women could relate to really loving someone but knowing in their soul that they are no longer growing together and even still the heartbreak, sadness and mourning that accompanies that as I shared of my own experience in the chapter ‘Love Story.’ Also being open as to my family history and journey as an Australian Asian woman. So many have related to that without having the same background which shows how many universal experiences where we think it’s only us or we are alone, the truth is many of us do share core experiences such as no family is perfect yet the societal pressure to appear to be and in alignment with everyone else and their expectations. 

    The Great Unlearning Part 5: Spirituality

    Part 5, on spirituality has inspired so many conversations of more women coming out of the ‘spiritual closet’ as I did and embracing, owning their spirituality. Especially those like myself who grew up religious and embracing more of a personal philosophy, of oneness in relation to source and the universe as well as ‘Gotta see it to believe it’ on the signs the Universe orchestrates and gives us alongside our loved ones that have passed away, the comfort that they truly are always with us.

    Becoming an author, does it change your life?

    So how does your life change writing a book, having a published booked and being an author? It’s so soul fulfilling because making a difference in someone’s life alongside coaching and human design is such a huge privilege. Knowing you inspired someone to think differently or to go after their dreams! The feedback from the book I’ve received is in alignment with human design: reassuring and validating that someone knows they aren’t the only one who feels a certain way about something. It’s a permission slip to truly be yourself. Even being triggered by the book to really stop, pause, reflect and question your life is an honour. I’ve had people share that it made them realise to truly do what they want in life or start carving a path in honour to do so. 

    On a personal level it really embodies one of my key main life energies in human design: struggle. Stories of my struggle have turned into strengths, grief into gold, not only for me anymore but for anyone reading The Great Unlearning. It’s truly the book I wish I had earlier in my life! 

    Pride, achievement and alignment

    I’ve met special souls through my book whether it be them taking a moment to message me about the book on Instagram, to having readers become clients off the back of being inspired and feeling the intuitive nudge to do so. You also have really great conversations with people when sharing the concept for the book because people are always so intrigued, The Great Unlearning, can you dive deeper into that? Ultimately it’s also a sense of pride and great achievement not only for me but I know my lineage, ancestry and family lines especially my mum. I think there’s that traditional stereotype being a woman to be quiet, being asian to keep things to yourself and then there’s me unlearning that and having a strong, bold, fierce voice out in the world to share my thoughts and stories with the world because that very process, journey and opportunity to is groundbreaking and shattering the condition learnings I speak about throughout the book! 

    In moments where I do feel vulnerable because I share my own personal experiences I always bring myself back to what I previously shared, the intention behind the book because The Great Unlearning isn’t about me. It’s about you. Your Great Unlearning.

    That feels like a beautiful and aligned ending for this episode. Thank you so much for listening and supporting me, with even more love and gratitude if you’ve read the book, purchased a copy or shared with somebody or written a review it truly means the world to me and makes a huge difference, so thank you. I swear as I’ve finished this episode its 23 minutes (in alignment with the book’s launch date! Full circle!). Until next time, love and positivity.

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  • 79: Uranus Opposition Human Design

    All about experiencing your Uranus Opposition from a human design lens. Your Uranus Opposition is from your late 30’s into your 40’s. This episode explains what your Uranus Opposition means for you including a breakdown of Uranus Opposition themes, archetypes and explanations. It will provide a guide on what to expect from your Uranus Opposition and how to harness this astrological energetic transit for your personal growth and development.

    Uranus Opposition Context

    Hello beautiful soul,

    We all know about Saturn Return, one of if not the universal pivotal transit that everyone goes through between the ages of 27-31. I have previously done a dedicated podcast episode (34) and today this episode is all about your Uranus Opposition which isn’t as mainstream as knowing about your Saturn Return has become. To simplify Saturn Return late 20’s to 30s, your Uranus Opposition is late 30’s to 40. After that comes your Chiron Return your late 40’s to entering your 50’s. They are the big 3 transits that everyone will experience in their life at the same time.

    Comparing your Saturn Return to your Uranus Opposition

    As with all energetic transits and changes in your life, human design can help you uncover and understand your Uranus Opposition. Your Saturn return is your coming of age, the spiritual equivalent of turning 21, it has the energy of taking a leap of faith. It is a period of your life where you mature, taking on responsibilities, being disciplined in alignment with them and making significant life decisions that shape your future. It’s about committing to a path and building a solid foundation as more of a conscious being. 

    In contrast, your Uranus Opposition can be likened to your spiritual equivalent of a ‘mid life crisis.’ It often happens around your 40’s and from my experience I’ve seen people as early as from their mid 30’s beginning to feel the energies of their Uranus Opposition transit. It’s when you really start to feel into what is the meaning and purpose of your life. If you’ve had a deeper human design reading with me, this is where it really shifts from where you came from to where you are going, your destiny.

    What is your Uranus Opposition Human Design

    Your Uranus Opposition transit is about breaking free from established patterns and embracing change and innovation. It’s less about building and more about exploring and transforming. It can symbolise a period of significant upheaval and transformation, marked by a journey and quest for authenticity and freedom. It challenges you to break away from the familiar and embrace new and unconventional paths, often leading to profound personal growth and a redefined sense of self.

    Hence, your Uranus Opposition can be a shocking time in your life, Uranus itself is a planet known for change – extremes, breakdowns, breakthroughs. It’s known as the ‘awakener’ for bringing sudden shocks and changes. In fact Uranus’ energy is very electric in nature. It brings a jolt when you’re in this stage of life where you don’t feel very old but you’re not young either, you’re in between. It can feel awkward and clunky. You had all these hopes, dreams and desires in your 20’s, how has that eventuated?

    Astrologically speaking when Uranus is in opposition, it’s in the exact opposite placement of where it was when you were born. It marks a turning point in your life supposedly ‘the half way point.’ It can be confronting. It can be challenging. It can be chaotic.

    From my own experience of coaching clients during a Uranus Opposition and through Uranus Opposition Human Design Readings, it can be challenging yet highly liberating. What I often witness and guide clients through is this deep pull, nudge and niggle to change careers and navigate changing dynamics within relationships. 

    Uranus Opposition Key Theme: Sudden Change​

    Let’s dive deeper into the key themes of your Uranus Opposition:

    During your Uranus opposition, many people experience significant upheavals that shake the foundations of their lives. These foundations set from your Saturn Return in your 30’s. These changes can manifest in various areas, such as career, relationships, personal identity, or lifestyle. For instance, someone might find themselves unexpectedly losing a long-held job, not due to their performance, but because of organisational restructuring or downsizing. This forced change can be both a source of stress and an opportunity for reevaluation. 

    Similarly, relationships that have been stable for years might face sudden crises, prompting a reexamination of your compatibility and shared goals. These shifts can be incredibly disorienting, especially when they come out of nowhere and disrupt the sense of stability and security that has been built over years. Maybe you have been with someone your whole life and suddenly feel so different and you are growing apart. Maybe your kids have grown up and your relationship with your partner is changing, you realise that maybe what’s been keeping you together is your kids.

    Moreover, sudden changes during this period often push people to question their personal identities. When the role you have comfortably inhabited—such as being a partner to someone, parent, or professional—are disrupted, you can become compelled to confront the essence of who you are beyond these labels. This can lead to an identity crisis, as you feel the need to redefine who you are outside of these traditional roles and labels. Lifestyle changes, such as moving to a new city, starting a new career, or adopting a radically different way of living, are also common. These changes, while initially unsettling, often pave the way for personal growth and a deeper understanding of one’s true desires and aspirations.

    Uranus Opposition Key Theme: Rebellion

    A hallmark of your Uranus opposition is a powerful urge to rebel against constraints and societal expectations. This is a time when you feel a pressing need to assert your independence and authentic identity. You may realise that your life has been overly influenced by external factors such as work, familial obligations, or societal norms, leading to a sense of entrapment. 

    These norms from a career standpoint: having an established career, advancing, perhaps holding leadership positions and a sense of stability. 

    From a family standpoint: if not being married already, a deeper pressure to do so, perhaps being a parent of children whom may be school aged and home ownership. I’ve also had clients at this point realise they don’t want to have children and so they are finding confidence in their decision with family and societal pressures especially on women to be mothers. The clients I’ve had who decided children weren’t for them often made a lot of sense in the context of their life having spent it taking care of others such as family members and karmically this lifetime is for them because maybe in previous lives they have been self sacrificing, even withstandingly it’s not selfish to not want children. It’s a personal decision. 

    Familial obligation can come into play maybe you have sick or unwell parents that need taking care of and support which can feel heavy and burdensome. Culturally speaking because well it’s your parents and it’s a lot to take on the role of a caretaker.

    With regards to lifestyle, the expectation and pressure of being financial responsible: saving from retirement, managing investments and expenses like your child’s education. A greater focus on health as you head into your 40’s. In terms of personal development, it’s common to see greater self reflection, a desire to deepen your existing skillset and mastery as well as a call to service: helping people and the community around.

    External and internal rebellion during your Uranus Opposition

    As a result,  during your Uranus Opposition you might take dramatic steps to break free from these constraints. For instance, if you have long been identified with your high-powered career, you may decide to quit and pursue a more fulfilling but less conventional path, such as starting your own business or engaging in creative pursuits.

    This rebellion is not just about external changes but also about internal liberation. You often begin to question the values and beliefs that have governed your life thus far. You might reject long-held traditions and norms in favour of developing your own unique perspectives and ways of living. This period of rebellion can be turbulent, as it often involves challenging relationships and situations that no longer align with your evolving sense of self and values. However, it is also a crucial phase of personal development, as it allows you to unlearn and strip away inauthentic layers and embrace a life that truly resonates with your inner being, your heart, your soul.

    Uranus Opposition Key Theme: Self Discovery​

    Your Uranus opposition is a profound period of self-discovery, prompting deep introspection and a reevaluation of your life direction and values. As you navigate through the upheavals and rebellions characteristic of this transit, you are often driven to look inward and reflect on your past choices and future aspirations. This introspection can reveal hidden desires, talents, and passions that you had suppressed or ignored in favour of more conventional or socially acceptable paths. It is not uncommon for you to start exploring new hobbies, interests, or spiritual practices that you feel drawn to during this time.

    This process of self-discovery is both challenging and enlightening. As you unlearn and peel back the layers of societal conditioning and external expectations, you often encounter aspects of yourself that you had not previously recognised or acknowledged. It can be so interesting doing human design readings particularly where people may by shocked or confused by an aspect of their design. What I often see is going deeper, people realise it is them, the core of whom they are but they don’t resonate initially because it has been repressed or pushed down by whom they think they should be and ought to be. Moreover if you don’t find and work towards spiritual fulfilment and filling up the cup of your soul you may find your life feeling empty and devoid. Your life may look good on a surface level say for example top of your career with lots of money but inside, you feel for what, miserable, that something is missing… soul fulfilment. 

    Your Uranus Opposition can be a time of healing, as you come to terms with past traumas or unresolved issues that have influenced your behavior and decisions. The insights gained during this period of introspection can lead to a more authentic and fulfilling life path, as you align your actions and choices with your true self rather than with external pressures.

    Uranus Opposition Key Theme: Innovation

    Uranus opposition brings with it a surge in creativity and the pursuit of new and unconventional paths. This is a time when you feel inspired to think outside the box and explore innovative solutions to the challenges you face. You may discover new talents or rekindle old passions that you had set aside in the pursuit of more practical or traditional goals. This creative energy can manifest in various forms, such as starting a new business, engaging in artistic endeavours, or an interest in new technologies. Your willingness to embrace change and think differently often leads to breakthroughs that were previously unimaginable.

    With innovation is often a desire to make a meaningful impact on the world. You are often driven by a sense of purpose and a desire to contribute something unique and valuable to society. This can lead to the development of new ideas and projects that challenge the status quo and offer fresh perspectives on longstanding issues. Whether it’s through social activism, entrepreneurial ventures, or artistic expression, you are motivated to push boundaries and create positive change. This period of heightened creativity and innovation can be incredibly rewarding, as it allows you to fully express your true self and leave a lasting legacy.

    Uranus Opposition Archetype: Rebel

    Breaking away from the old and embracing the new. Challenging the status quo and seeking freedom. Think of the character of an adventurer: setting off on a journey, both literal and metaphorical, to discover new aspects of themselves and the world.

    Uranus Opposition Archetype:​ Innovator

    Embracing creativity and originality. Pioneering new ideas and ways of living as a visionary. Being a risk taker and change agent: leaving what’s known to do something different, a groundbreaking business idea or pursue a passion project.

    Uranus Opposition Archetype:​ Creative

    A quest for deeper meaning and understanding of life beyond the superficial and surface level. Spiritual and personal growth becomes a priority. You might find yourself questioning the purpose of your existence, exploring various philosophies, religions, or spiritual practices and tools such as human design! The Seeker is driven by a desire to connect with something greater than yourself and to find a sense of inner peace and fulfillment.

    Uranus Opposition Life Path Storyline

    If you were to look at your Uranus Opposition has a storyline in life, you may find the following plot points:

    Discontentment: The main character starts feeling restless and dissatisfied with their current life.

    Catalyst for Change: An event or realisation triggers the desire for change (e.g., a major work project fails, or a relationship ends).

    Rebellion: The protagonist takes bold steps to break free from their current situation. This might involve leaving a job, ending a relationship, or making drastic lifestyle changes.

    Exploration: They embark on a journey of self-discovery, exploring new interests, meeting new people, and experimenting with new ways of living.

    Crisis and Reflection: Challenges and crises force the main character to confront their fears and insecurities. They reflect on their past choices and future direction.

    Transformation: Through this period of upheaval, the main character gains a deeper understanding of themselves. They embrace a new path that is more aligned with their true self.

    Getting help during your Uranus Opposition

    If you are going through your Uranus Opposition or thereabouts so you would be from your mid 30’s up until 44ish or know someone who is such as a loved one, family member or friend – I invite you to consider a Uranus Opposition Human Design reading with me or getting a Uranus Opposition Human Design Blueprint done. 

    Especially if you’ve made it all the way to the end of this episode, enjoyed it, feel curious, the pull, the nudge… A reading and human design blueprint will help you make sense of your confusion and give you clarity on the changes and transformation taking place during your Uranus Opposition. 

    It will also help you understand the life themes and changes that are being brought to the forefront of your reality and how to navigate them. Moreover it provides a practical guide as to how to get into alignment with your soul and embody your life purpose and path. 

    Finally, it gives you the specific timing of your Uranus Opposition so you can prepare and plan life accordingly. Supported by 1:1 coaching, I am here to help support and guide in real time as these changes aren’t easy!

    Until next time. Love and Positivity,

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  • 78: Precision over perfection, be willing to wobble

    Perfectionism often holds us back from reaching our full potential, paralysing us with the fear of making mistakes. But what if we shifted our focus from achieving perfection to striving for precision? What if we embraced wobble moments, and in fact leaned into the wobble? That there is so much strength embedded in imperfection.

    Inspired by wobbling, the wobble moments

    Hello beautiful soul, how is your heart and soul today? Earlier this week I wrote a piece on wobbling that’s on my Instagram: “It’s okay, even though it doesn’t seem or appear to be. It’s okay to wobble, to fall, to stumble, to trip. It happens when you’re doing your best outside your comfort zone. It happens when you are pushing beyond the edges of your fears to expand. This is the space, the void, where growth truly occurs, where you discover strengths you never knew you had. It’s in these moments of uncertainty, instability and challenge that you build resilience and character. Every step taken beyond your familiar is a stride towards a more courageous, confident, and capable version of yourself. Embracing discomfort is not easy, but you’re doing it beautiful soul because you’re unlocking your full potential and that’s a beautiful, brave thing. Keep going.”

    Wobbling and life coaching

    This was inspired by my coaching clients as I have the privilege of holding space, guiding and supporting them. Seeing wobbles in different contexts and areas of life. Please note I share these examples with strict anonymity and confidentiality. Names, situations have been tweaked and changed so I can share with you examples of life coaching and the power of it.

    Emily has been feeling stuck in her job for years, dreaming of pursuing her passion for photography full-time. However, the idea of leaving the stability of her job is daunting, and she’s uncertain about whether she can make it as a professional photographer. During coaching sessions, Emily experiences moments of doubt and fear, wondering if she’s making the right decision. Through coaching and working together, Emily realises that her fear is a sign that she’s stepping outside of her comfort zone and pursuing her dreams. The fear is a wobble but her strength is aligning in her purpose, her passion. 

    Ashley, a client struggling with communication issues in his relationship, experiences a wobble when he and his partner have a disagreement. Feeling frustrated and unsure of how to move forward, that’s when Ashley decided to do life coaching with me. In our conversations we uncover underlying patterns and beliefs that contribute to his communication challenges. The wobbles manifest as unconsciously picking fights or self sabotaging based self worth. As Ashley gains insight into his own triggers and behaviours, he begins to see his wobble as an opportunity to deepen his connection with his partner. To do the work first within himself to improve the relationship and to open up his heart and be more vulnerable about past experiences that have led to these triggers and behaviours. 

    How to cope with wobbling through life coaching

    These are only just two examples! If you’re feeling the pull and resonating with what I’m sharing, I have 1:1 coaching spots open and invite you to get in touch so I can set up a free call to chat with you to see if we aligned and a fit for working together to help you be happier, soul satisfied, self fulfilled, abundant, magnetic, radiant, loving and beyond.

    Be willing to wobble

    Today’s episode is fuelled by the wobble! Wobbling is not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of growth in motion. Think about it like this: when we’re learning to ride a bike, we don’t just jump on and magically ride perfectly from the get-go. No, we wobble, we fall, and we get back up again. Each wobble teaches us something new—how to balance, how to steer, how to keep moving forward. In life, it’s the same. Every stumble, every setback, is an opportunity to learn, adapt, and grow stronger.

    The core essence and message of this episode is to be willing to wobble. It’s in the wobble we realise our strength. There is strength in imperfection. Wobbling is truly a sign of giving something a go. It’s aligned with beginner’s mindset. Both concepts revolve around the willingness to try, to stumble, and to learn from every experience, regardless of the outcome.

    Beginners mindset and wobbling

    At the heart of a beginner’s mindset lies a sense of openness and curiosity—an eagerness to explore new possibilities without preconceived notions or judgments. Similarly, embracing wobbling requires a similar attitude of humility and willingness to embrace uncertainty. When we approach challenges with a beginner’s mindset, we acknowledge that we’re not expected to have all the answers or to perform flawlessly from the start. Instead, we’re open to the process of learning, experimenting, and growing, one wobble at a time.

    Trying is the catalyst that propels us forward on our journey of growth. It’s the willingness to take that first step, even if it means risking failure or facing discomfort. When we try, we push past our comfort zones and expand our boundaries, paving the way for new opportunities and discoveries. Every attempt, no matter how small or imperfect, contributes to our learning and development, building momentum towards our goals.

    Precision over perfectionism

    I recently came across an article by Michelle Finerty who combines her two loves of yoga and writing together. That itself I love because she is an example, an expander, of one of many people who combine their passions to find their own unique path in life. The article really spoke to me and I wanted to share two things I took out of it.

    “When we allow perfection to take center stage, we set the groundwork for suffering instead of soaring.” Perfectionism is full of judgement, it stifles instead of allowing growth and expansion.

    “Precision, not perfection is the goal.” Oooof. That shift from perfection to precision. This was in the context of yoga however I think it can apply to many things in life. It’s about the energy in which you approach something such as a goal or exercise. Perfection is static, there’s only one way to go about something, it’s stifling and restrictive with one ideal result in mind. There’s no room for anything but that, no spaciousness, no graciousness. Precision is about the process and progress. It’s about how are you going to get there, and yes, you can uphold high standards for yourself but it’s not impossible, weight crushing, soul stamping perfection. Precision is the how. Perfectionism is the outcome. Ponder upon this, “nature is precise, not perfect; otherwise there would be no evolution.”

    Precision involves a focus on accuracy, clear communication, and thoughtful action, whereas perfection often entails an unrealistic and unattainable standard. When you strive for precision, you set achievable benchmarks and prioritise progress over flawlessness. This shift in mindset can alleviate the stress and pressure associated with perfectionism, fostering a healthier, more productive approach to personal development and goal attainment.

    A practical example of precision over perfectionism

    What comes to mind from my own experience is that of learning to surf. It’s so much fun, it’s challenging and there’s many elements to consider that factor in: the waves themselves, the weather, your body, internal strength, the surfboard you choose and so fourth. When you’re first learning you’re keen and eager to stand up for the first time. If you obsess over every detail such as the exact placement of your feet to the angle of your body, you’ll be in your mind and not actually in the experience of surging.

    It’s a humbling experience and the precision mindset is that of practicality. You have to concentrate on mastering the fundamental steps first, such as properly positioning yourself on the board, understanding the timing of the waves, and maintaining a balanced crouch before standing. Every time you practice and try, you have to make small, deliberate adjustments to improve your technique gradually. As I found you celebrate first being able to stay on the board, then even kneeling, then standing up and falling and then finally standing up, staying on and riding the wave. In that very process you inevitable wobble and fall over and over again!

    Precision over perfectionism in yoga

    Imagine you’re in a yoga class, practicing the Downward Dog pose. A perfectionist might strive to have every angle and line of their body match a textbook image of the pose or replicating the instructor, obsessing over getting your heels to touch the ground and your back perfectly straight, often leading to frustration and discomfort when your body doesn’t comply. The perfectionist focus on achieving an idealised version of the pose can cause tension and detract from the benefits of the practice.

    In contrast, someone focusing on precision approaches Downward Dog with a different mindset. You pay attention to key elements that matter most for your body’s alignment and health—like ensuring your hands are spread wide, your weight is evenly distributed, and you’re lengthening their spine. You might not have their heels touching the ground or their back perfectly straight, but you’re engaging the muscles correctly and reaping the benefits of the pose. This precise approach acknowledges and respects your current physical state, promoting progress without the unrealistic expectation of perfection.

    That’s why lately I’m finding in many classes I go to, the best teachers advise you to tune into your body, to allow it to go as far as it can in that very class instead of being technically perfect and hurting your body by forcing and contorting it.

    Mental and spiritual perfectionism

    Take this to your spiritual growth, you can be so called perfect doing a morning routine consisting of a certain set of steps everyday yet not feeling better because again you just want to be perfect and get it done instead of actually being in the experience okay I am meditating now. It’s not about having no thoughts and that perfectionism. The precision in meditation is observing my thoughts with curiosity. If you just do the thing to get to the end goal instead of noticing the shifts, how you are responding, what is working, what is not working. What one person’s morning routine may work for them but even if you replicated it perfectly, it doesn’t mean it will work for you. Everyone’s needs are different. Everyone feels uniquely within themselves. 

    The beauty of precision

    Precision encourages a mindset of continuous improvement. Instead of being paralysed by the fear of making mistakes, you can embrace a growth-oriented perspective. Fumbles, falls, stumbling, wobbles, mistakes, errors are opportunities for improvement and refinement. This approach aligns with the concept of “progress over perfection,” where the emphasis is placed on incremental advancements rather than an unattainable ideal. By honing in on specific, measurable aspects of what you are trying to achieve, you can make tangible improvements that accumulate over time, leading to significant growth and development.

    Wobbling in life—experiencing moments of instability, uncertainty, or even failure—is crucial for personal growth, resilience, and adaptability. 

    Physical wobbling strengthens you

    In physical exercises, wobbling is a great thing because it challenges and strengthens muscles by engaging stabiliser muscles and improving balance and coordination. When we wobble during exercises like squats, lunges, or yoga poses, our muscles are forced to work harder to maintain stability, leading to increased strength and endurance over time.

    Wobbling also activates smaller, often unused, overlooked or neglected muscles that are crucial for joint stability and overall functional movement. By challenging these muscles through wobbling, we improve our overall body awareness and strength too.

    Moreover, wobbling encourages us to focus on proper form and technique, which are essential for preventing injuries and maximising the effectiveness of our workouts. Precision over perfection!

    When we wobble, it’s a signal that our body is out of alignment or that we’re compensating for weaknesses in certain muscle groups. By paying attention to these cues and making necessary adjustments, we can ensure that we’re working the right muscles and reducing the risk of injury.

    Furthermore, wobbling adds an element of variability and progression to our workouts. As we become stronger and more proficient in exercises, we can increase the intensity by introducing instability tools like balance boards, stability balls, or BOSU balls. These tools challenge our muscles in new ways, promoting continued growth and improvement.

    Personal development and wobbling

    Outside of the physical, navigating life’s wobbles builds mental and emotional strength.

    Firstly, wobbling fosters resilience. When we face setbacks or unexpected challenges, we’re forced to adapt and find ways to regain our footing. Each wobble presents an opportunity to learn, grow, and develop new coping mechanisms. Over time, these experiences build resilience, enabling us to bounce back stronger from adversity.

    Secondly, wobbling encourages innovation and creativity. Embracing uncertainty opens us up to new possibilities and perspectives. It pushes us out of our comfort zones and encourages us to explore alternative solutions and approaches. Some of the greatest breakthroughs and innovations stem from navigating through moments of uncertainty and ambiguity.

    Thirdly, wobbling cultivates humility and empathy. When we wobble, we’re reminded of our humanity, it humbles and dissolves the ego that wants perfection instantly. This humility allows us to connect more deeply with others, as we recognise that everyone faces their own struggles and challenges. Everyone has their own wobbles. It fosters empathy and understanding, strengthening our relationships and our sense of community.

    Moreover, wobbling fuels personal growth and self-discovery. Each wobble presents an opportunity for reflection and introspection. By examining our reactions and responses to challenges, we gain valuable insights into our strengths, weaknesses, and values. This self-awareness enables us to make informed decisions and pursue paths that align with our authentic selves.

    In essence, wobbling is not just an inevitable part of life; it’s a necessary catalyst for growth, resilience, and self-discovery. By embracing life’s wobbles with courage and openness, we can navigate through uncertainty with grace and emerge stronger, wiser, and more resilient individuals. The way to go about this through the mindset and energetic shift of precision over perfectionism.

    Thank you for tuning in beautiful soul, until next time, love and positivity.

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  • 77: Embracing Ageing and Life-ing (The Gift of Years)

    This episode is a deep dive on ageing. It will provide you with powerful perspective shifts on what it means to age and get older. How to embrace ageing and why it is such a gift to do so. Expect a thought provoking podcast that will make you think. 

    Intuitive message on ageing

    Hi Beautiful Souls, how is your heart and soul today? I’ve been doing some wonderful 1:1 coaching calls and human design readings and a theme that has come through strongly of lately is ageing. Now ageing isn’t unique to some people, it’s a universal passage and journey that we will all experience. 

    It inspired a recent Instagram post I wrote: 

    “And suddenly you’re older. Fear hits you like a truck as does the anxiety and panic. Here’s the the thing, what a privilege it is to age. You are also wiser. You are also stronger. You are also more resilient. Age has made you more agile and adaptable. You’ll never be as young as you are right now. Your spirit is eternal. Your spirit is endless. The sum of who you are in this moment is every age that you’ve been. Think of who you’ve been before, who you are now and who you are becoming. That is oh so very beautiful.”

    Astrological energetic transits ageing

    I’ve been doing Saturn Return readings for those currently in the lead up to and their transit 27-30 which is the spiritual equivalent of turning 21, your coming of age. Many of which this week happened to be karmic in nature.

    I also did a reading for a projector who’s in her 30’s and trying to understand the purpose of why she went through what she did and the current phase after her life (because to have your Saturn Return is one thing, Saturn is about discipline after all so it’s about maintaining the lessons and growth from your Saturn Return) until you hit your 40’s whereby it’s all about your Uranus Opposition, the spiritual mid life point or for some mid life crisis vibes. 

    I’ve also been coaching clients this week particularly aged 20-24 and talking about how each year of your 20’s is so different. 

    At any given point in time there’s astrological transits to help you expand and grow more, to become more aligned with yourself – that’s an episode for another day but essentially if you’re feeling a curiosity around how you’re feeling in relation to a certain age, chances are you’re in a transit. You can find out more in 1:1 coaching or a human design reading with me!

    Oracle card ageing

    I also pulled a collective oracle card for anyone listening to this podcast and no surprises the ‘aging’ one came out with this mantra: I am one with unlimited love, beyond all seeming restrictions of age. I am filled with joy, energy and beauty – a vessel for the divine.

    Redefining ageing

    Society often portrays aging, especially for women, as something to be feared or avoided. But aging is a natural, inevitable part of life that brings wisdom, experience, and new opportunities.

    “It is commonly thought that time is the particular enemy of women. Because we supposedly have so much to lose: our ‘looks’, our fertility, our cultural capital… But there are other ways of looking at it. That women have timepieces built into their bodies – ‘primarily biological clocks’ and the menopause – signs that must eventually be heeded, signs that are, finally, impossible to ignore, seems to me as much a gift as a curse…It strikes me that one consequence of this bodily awareness of time is that adulthood – with all its complex responsibilities and demands – often seems to come as less of a surprise to women than it does to men (there’s a reason our folk tales are full of ‘wise old women’).”

    Further to that, as a life coach I will say that our thoughts create our reality through what we believe and Marilyn Ferguson rightly says

    "Of all the self-fulfilling prophecies in our culture the assumption that aging means decline and poor health is probably the deadliest.”

    Growing up and being in a Western Culture, it’s definitely more youth-orientated where youth, beauty and vitality are the focuses. Aging is seen as a decline in desirability and relevance. This is compounded by a mammoth anti-aging industry.

    Though things are changing, and I share the examples of women in the media. JLo is worshipped for her age defying appearance as is Anne Hathaway who seems to be “ageing backwards.”

    Celebrity culture on ageing

    Though things are changing, and I share the examples of women in the media. JLo is worshipped for her age defying appearance as is Anne Hathaway who seems to be “ageing backwards.”

    Pamela Anderson was the epitome of bombshell with her surgically enhanced body and heavy make up in her younger years and as of late has been deemed “unrecognisable,” going make up free. She’s come out saying that “anti-ageing” is a lie,” that  “we’re getting older no matter what,” and that she calls it ‘life-ing, not aging.”

    She penned the following poem on her Instagram “Life humbles you. As you grow old…you stop chasing the big things and start valuing the little things…alone time, enough sleep, a good diet, long walks, and quality time with loved ones,” she wrote in the caption. “Simplicity becomes the ultimate goal…

    With this all threads through gender and more culture; the sensuality, sexuality of being a woman. The erotic gaze, being desired or feeling liberated from desire. The framing that men have a body where as women are a body. 

    Ultimately it boils down to a pro-aging revolution, whether you embrace grey hairs or cover them up, go make up-free or not, it’s about embracing the life you’ve lived so far and who you are at every age.

    Different cultures on ageing

    With regards to other cultures; in different cultures including Asian, South Asian and African there is respect for elders and in particular women are the matriarchs of the family, making key decisions and guiding younger generations. Getting older is seen as something to look forward to.

    Within indigenous cultures, elders are seen as wisdom keepers and spiritual guides who play a crucial role in preserving and passing down traditions, stories, and cultural knowledge.

    With age, yes we lose certain things but we also gain so much…

    With ageing comes experience

    One of the greatest gifts of aging are the experiences we accumulate which hopefully is turned into wisdom.

    “In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”

    It’s the core reason why many of us may wish to be younger but only if we can have with us the insights we’ve accumulated.

    These experiences broaden how we see the world and give us different perspectives on how to navigate life, what matters and what we give meaning to.

    With what we’ve gained we can also share with others, taking on a mentorship or teacher role whether formally or not.

    At 18, there would be so much you would share with your 13 year old self. In your 20’s there’s so much you would share with the version of you navigating high school. What you’d tell yourself in your early 20’s by the time you reach the end of it. What you know at 30 vs 40 vs 50 vs 60 vs 70 and so fourth. Huge shifts. Different remarks.

    Whilst time isn’t a guarantee, often in life it’s realising it’s never too late so long as you are breathing and alive, anything is possible!

    In my book,  The Great Unlearning: Awakening to Living an Aligned and Authentic Life, I write:

    Maybe you’re worried about going back to university and starting a new course aged twenty-nine that takes three years. By the time you finish, you’ll be thirty-two. Whether or not you do the course, in three years, you’ll still be thirty-two. You’re nervous about never meeting ‘the one’ and you meet them aged thirty-seven. Are you upset you’re aged thirty-seven or are you happily in love aged thirty- seven? The only thing that’s keeping you behind is being fixed on a specific timeline. You can’t be falling behind because who set the pace and tone anyway? You’re allowed to move at your own pace. You’re allowed to take your time. Life isn’t linear but an open and organic canvas.

    "Aging is not ‘lost youth’ but a new stage of opportunity and strength.”

    All in all don’t forget you don’t lose every age you’ve been as you get older, you accumulate it. You are all the ages up until this point 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18… you get my point! You are all the ages you’ve ever been.

    Let your mind ponder this layered quote from William Wordsworth, “The wiser mind mourns less for what age takes away than what it leaves behind.” 

    New beginnings and opportunities

    Aging is not the end of new opportunities. Many women find new passions, hobbies, and even careers later in life.

    In my book, The Great Unlearning, I write:

    “Lawyer Amal Clooney (née Alamuddin) met actor George Clooney when she was thirty-five, went on to marry him and have twins. Vera Wang entered the fashion industry at age forty and is now a household name. It’s now even possible for women to have children at the age of fifty with the help of medical advancements. “

    Quotes on the new beginnings and opportunities that ageing brings:

    “When you’re young, there’s so much now that you can’t take it in. It’s pouring over you like a waterfall. When you’re older, it’s less intense, but you’re able to reach out and drink it. I love being older.”

    "You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear, as young as your hope, as old as your despair.”


    Know that gender plays a huge role in this, men are revered for getting older, becoming “legendary” and “aging like fine wine”  yet it doesn’t necessarily translate to women in society fully yet. 

    "When it comes to aging, we’re held to a different standard than men. Some guy said to me: ‘Don’t you think you’re too old to sing rock n’ roll?’ I said: ‘You’d better check with Mick Jagger.’"

    Self acceptance and growth

    Why do people tend to become more self-accepting as they age?

    Resilience. As time goes on those moments you thought the world would end or you wouldn’t be okay… you realise well hey I’m still here and I’ve overcome a lot. Not only that you are more true to yourself as opposed to caring so much about what other people think and what’s happening in the mainstream. To be your true and authentic self. You develop the courage to speak your truth and do what you really want to.

    "Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been"

    "It’s good to have a sense of self and to be able to be your own best friend."

    “I’m tired of trying to be young. I don’t want to be young. I’ve been young.”

    What also becomes apparent is that comparison dwindles down as you get older and isn’t as alert in your life as say when you’re a teenager or in your 20’s and 30’s. 

    “At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don't care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven't been thinking of us at all." 

    It becomes more natural to be at peace with yourself than not.

    “Aging is as natural as a baby’s softness and scent. Aging is human evolution in its pure form.”

    “The great thing about getting older is that you become more mellow. Things aren’t as black and white, and you become much more tolerant. You can see the good in things much more easily rather than getting enraged as you used to do when you were young.”

    “Growing old with someone else is beautiful, but growing old while being true to yourself is divine.”

    Physically ageing

    Physical changes are a natural part of aging, and they tell the story of our lives. It’s time to embrace these changes and see them as badges of honor rather than something to hide.

    I’m going to read out some quotes from various women on their perspective of physical changes to the body as life goes on.

    An interesting perspective to consider is one from Eleanor Roosevelt,

    “Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.”

    “There is a saying that with age, you look outside what you are inside. If you are someone who never smiles your face gets saggy. If you’re a person who smiles a lot, you will have more smile lines. Your wrinkles reflect the roads you have taken; they form the map of your life. My face reflects the wind and sun and rain and dust from the trips I’ve taken. My face carries all my memories. Why should I erase them?”

    “In interviews, the first question I get in America is always: ‘What do you do to stay young?’ I do nothing. I don’t think aging is a problem...Yes, my face has wrinkles. But I don’t find it monstrous. I’m so surprised that the emphasis on aging here is on physical decay when aging brings such incredible freedom. Now what I want most is laughs. I don’t want to hurt anybody by laughing — there is no meanness to it. I just want to laugh.”

    “I don’t relate to a 26-year-old model. I don’t want her life. I don’t want her face. I don’t want her experience. I’ve earned my life. I’ve earned my wrinkles. I have been through so many highs and lows, and there’s a sweetness that starts to emerge from that, from having lived, from being wise, from being humble, from loving and losing and all of this stuff.”

    “Listen, the best advice on aging is this: What’s the alternative? The alternative, of course, is death. And that’s a lot of shit to deal with. So I’m happy to deal with menopause. I’ll take it.”

    The zinger?

    When it comes to staying young, a mind-lift beats a face-lift any day. 


    In the end it’s your perspective on the physical changes that occur with age and Eva Longoria reminds us that we do not lose beauty but gain a deeper appreciation for it.

    What is ageless about ageing?

    What is at the core within the fear of ageing comes many universal experiences we have as humans: a fear of change, a fear of losing, a fear of life (mortality itself).

    There is no right way to age.

    Ultimately what is ageless about ageing, is your spirit and soul. Time passes for the home of our soul, the body, the physical vehicle, however your soul is ageless in the sense that it is timeless, eternal and the core essence of you are whether in this lifetime, a past or a future one. It’s why speak of ‘young’ or ‘old’ souls it’s not about the age but the characteristic of someone’s spirit no matter their physical age.

    “I’m happy to report that my inner child is still ageless.

    “Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.” 

    "Aging not just adding years to our total on earth. It is a process of humanisation, of becoming more spiritually and culturally complex. It allows us to get down to business and make life worthwhile. Over the years it is also a blending of valuable experiences.”

    “There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.”

    When I really think about it, I feel the same inside as I did 18 or in my 20’s or now 30. It’s the same consciousness within me with added experience and wisdom. Regardless of the age I am physically. It wasn’t like when I suddenly turned 30 inside completely changed, it’s been shifting and progressing the whole time since birth whether I recognise it or not, whether I am conscious of it or not.

    Phi's personal take on ageing

    “Today is the oldest you've ever been, and the youngest you'll ever be again.”

    Something that has really hit home for me and many clients I share this with is a hypothetical, that this age that you are right now, in 10 years time, if I said to you hey, if you give me everything you own, all your money and possessions, I’ll let you be 10 years younger again … you’d do it in a heartbeat.

    We spend the first part of life wishing to be older and with that also comes different sets of life responsibilities and things we become aware of about life – it’s precious, fleeting nature, how quickly it can start to go… that really ultimately all you wish for is to be fully present and savour right here and right now whatever age you are.

    When I was younger worrying about my school marks and now I am running my own business which isn’t directly related to my university degree yet I remember being 17 and 18 really stressed and studying to make sure I had high enough marks. I mean I got into law school but then ended up dropping out anyway because it wasn’t really in alignment with what I wanted to do in this life.

    Ageing in your twenties into thirty

    I’m now 30 and looking back at my 20’s I was stressing how to figure out my life when really life figured it out for me, this grander plan. My purpose came to me when I was 26 unexpectedly, out of no where yet made sense all at the same time. I enjoyed my 20’s because I lived life to the fullest and I’ve always maintained that I want more life but should it be my time I wouldn’t have regrets, that I would be really proud of myself and how I have lived my life and what I’ve achieved so far. I’m living my purpose and making a difference to this world in my own way: helping others be happier and live their best lives. That is a huge privilege. Even when I wasn’t a life coach, I was making the world a better place by doing my best to be kind and care for the important people and causes in my life.

    What truly matters as you age

    All of that wouldn’t matter if it weren’t for the important people in my life, my friends and family. They, connection, community is what makes life worth living for in addition to the incredible experiences we get to have whether it be as simple as seeing the vivid colours of sunrise or travelling the world being immersed in different cultures. Consciousness is so special I mean I don’t know if animals register the full sensory experience of witnessing a sunrise – the colours, that sensation of awe, of feeling small, of feeling part of something bigger, of feeling magical and divine because what makes a sunset makes us human too.

    I don’t know if anyone ever really does truly have it all and everything figured out no matter what age nor would we want to. That would make life really boring and dull. Life is a dynamic storyline continually changing and shifting to ensure we continue to evolve in this lifetime. It’s not easy, it’s quite the ride. Sometimes sweetness brings the greatest lessons and healing, and other times challenging times are required for that.

    “Every year should teach you something valuable; whether you get the lesson is up to you. Every year brings you closer to expressing your whole and healed self.”

    The core of ageing?

    I think it’s natural to look back when you were younger and think you were happier, but I think it’s different types of happiness and what we really yearn for is the feeling and sense of ease and carefree which is also achievable now whatever age you are.

    Ultimately, what if it isn’t time that ages you? Time is constant, time is something we feel and relate to with regards to our awareness. That maybe it could be something else, “aging” you… your thoughts, your emotions and how you feel, that question in itself may it get you to reflect and explore your internal world to answer that question for yourself…

    Consider yourself in reference to your biological age, chronological age, spiritual age, emotional age, mental age… 

    “How old would you be if you didn’t know old you are?”

    Ageing is a beautiful journey

    Aging is a beautiful, complex journey. To end this podcast in the words of Louise Hay;

    “Know that you are the perfect age. Each year is special and precious, for you shall only live it once. Be comfortable with growing older.”

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