Celebrating 100 Episodes! Unlearnings on Personal Growth
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Join me as we celebrate the milestone of 100 episodes! This special episode is a heartfelt reflection on our journey together, exploring the transformation, growth, and the lessons we’ve uncovered. I’ll share the insights, breakthroughs, and the most profound takeaways from the past episodes—and as a gift to YOU, I’ll also offer a mini reading! Listen to this episode to find out how to get your free mini reading.

Alongside the celebration, I’m diving into 10 Unlearnings on personal growth that can truly shift the way you approach your own evolution. If you’re ready to embrace new perspectives, shed old beliefs, and step into a more expansive, authentic version of yourself, this episode is for you.
Tune in to feel inspired, supported, and uplifted, and don’t miss the chance to receive your own mini reading during this milestone moment. Let’s keep growing and evolving together!
Resources from today's episode
Work with Phi
- Learn more about 1:1 Coaching with Phi here.
- Apply for 1:1 Coaching with Phi here.
- Book a Human Design Reading with Phi here.
- Phi’s book; The Great Unlearning: Awakening to Living an Aligned and Authentic Life.
- Flow – Vietnam Retreat May 2025
Recharge and Renew – Bali Retreat August 2025 - Message Phi on Instagram
- Email Phi
Celebrating 100 episodes of the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang
Hi my love can you believe it this is the 100th episode of Grow Through It. I believe we’ve made it to triple digits. When I started this podcast, I had no idea how much it would grow, evolve, and connect me with so many of you. I still remember sitting in my cupboard recording my first episode when being a coach full time was a hope and dream – now it’s my reality.
The name Grow Through It is a reminder that challenges aren’t just something to survive—they’re something to transform through. Life will bring uncertainty, heartbreak, resistance, and moments where you question everything, but you don’t have to just go through it, numb or disconnected.
You can grow through it—becoming wiser, stronger and more aligned and in tune with yourself. Growth isn’t about bypassing the hard stuff; it’s about leaning in, finding meaning, and letting every experience shape you in a way that deepens your self-trust. This podcast exists to hold space for that kind of expansion—the kind that doesn’t just move you forward but moves you deeper into who you’re meant to be.
Whether you’ve been here since Episode 1 or you just found this space, thank you. Truly. Your presence, your messages, and the way you show up for your own growth mean everything.
Get a free mini reading from Phi
As a way to give back, I have a little gift for you! If you leave a review—ideally on Spotify—otherwise Apple Podcasts, please screenshot it, and send it to me via Instagram DMs or email, I’ll send you a mini intuitive reading as a thank you. It’ll be a 5-minute intuitive voice note, either based on a question you send or whatever comes through for you.
This is my way of celebrating 100 episodes of growth with you. So if this podcast has supported you in any way, I’d love to hear your thoughts—and send something special your way in return. Now, let’s get into today’s episode… 100 unlearnings on personal growth jokes that is a lot and genuinely in life there would be way more but I handpicked 10 from my experience working with clients that I’d love to share with you to celebrate the Grow Through It Podcast.
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1. You don’t have to “fix” yourself to be worthy.
The Learning: You’ve been taught that growth is about fixing—about identifying flaws, working on them, and eventually becoming better. This belief makes it seem like self-worth is something you have to earn, something that’s always just out of reach. It keeps you in a cycle of never feeling enough, because no matter how much you heal, there will always be another layer.
The Unlearning: Growth isn’t about becoming enough—it’s about realising you already are. The real work isn’t fixing; it’s remembering who you were before you were told you were broken. Your worth has never been conditional. Every version of you—past, present, and future—is already whole. When you stop striving for worthiness, you can start living from it.
I want you to remember that you don’t have to “fix” yourself to be worthy—because you were never broken. Even if you aren’t perfect you are worthy. You are always and will always be worthy no matter what.
Personal growth isn’t about patching up flaws or proving your value; it’s about uncovering the wholeness that has always been within you. Coaching invites you to see yourself with compassion, to shift limiting beliefs, and to move forward not because you need to be fixed, but because you deserve to grow, expand, and live fully as you are.
I see so many clients carrying shame, and it breaks my heart—because at its core, shame is the quiet, heavy belief that you are somehow broken. It whispers that if only you could fix this part of yourself, heal faster, do more, then you’d finally be enough. But that’s not true.
Shame isn’t a sign that you’re flawed; it’s a wound that forms when you’ve been made to believe your worth is conditional. Coaching helps you unravel that belief, not by forcing change, but by helping you see that nothing about you was ever wrong to begin with. The moment you stop trying to earn your worthiness and start trusting that it’s already yours, everything shifts—your confidence, your choices, and your ability to show up fully in your life.
2. Healing doesn’t mean you’ll never feel pain again.
The Learning: It’s easy to believe healing is about reaching a state where nothing triggers you anymore, where past wounds stop aching, and where you can finally say, “I’m done.” But this expectation sets you up for disappointment. The truth is, healing doesn’t erase pain; it changes your relationship with it.
The Unlearning: Growth isn’t about eliminating discomfort; it’s about leaning in – with grace and self awareness. Pain may still arise, but you no longer collapse under its weight. Instead of fearing its return, you trust your ability to meet it with compassion. Healing isn’t an end point—it’s an ongoing process of deepening your self-trust, learning that you can navigate whatever comes next.
Even as a life coach, deeply committed to growth—for myself and for others—I still experience moments of doubt, grief and uncertainty. If you’re human you will no matter how rich, beautiful, intelligent etc etc you are. I’ve been through multiple dark nights of the soul, and maybe you have too – not because we’re doing something wrong, but because healing isn’t a destination; it’s a continuous unfolding.
The difference now is that I don’t see pain as a setback—I see it as part of the process. Coaching isn’t about eliminating struggle; it’s about equipping you with the tools, the self awareness, and the inner resilience to navigate life’s inevitable challenges without losing yourself in them.
3. Discipline isn’t about forcing—it’s about commitment and devotion.
The Learning: Discipline has often been framed as something harsh, something that requires relentless willpower, restriction, and forcing yourself to do things even when you don’t want to. This mindset creates burnout, resentment and a disconnection from your deeper why.
The Unlearning: True consistency comes from love, not rigid self-punishment. When you shift from force to devotion, everything changes. Devotion is fuelled by purpose, by the deep knowing that you want to show up—not because you have to, but because you get to. The most sustainable discipline is the kind that honours your rhythms and is rooted in care rather than control.
This year, in 2025, I’ve really honed in on what it means to approach discipline from a place of love—especially when it comes to my spiritual practices and physical health. In the past, discipline felt like force, like something I had to do to be good enough, productive enough, or worthy enough.
But I’ve learned that true discipline isn’t about punishment; it’s about devotion. Making time to exercise, to move my body, to show up for my practices—it’s not about fixing myself, but about caring for myself. When discipline is rooted in love, it stops feeling like a chore and starts feeling like a sacred commitment to your own well being. And that shift changes everything.
4. The “right path” doesn’t exist.
The Learning: You’ve been conditioned to believe there’s a single “correct” path—the one that leads to success, fulfillment, or happiness. This belief can create anxiety around decision-making, making you feel like one wrong turn will ruin everything.
The Unlearning: Every choice expands you in a different way—there’s no singular “correct” way forward. Life isn’t a straight path; it’s a landscape of possibilities. Some roads will challenge you. Some will surprise you. Some will lead to detours that reveal exactly what you needed. The path isn’t something you find—it’s something you create with every step
The “right path” doesn’t exist, and that’s something I’ve come to truly embrace. We often get caught in the pressure of making the “perfect” choice, believing there’s only one way forward that guarantees success, happiness, or fulfillment. But in reality, there’s just a path—a series of choices—and none of them are inherently right or wrong.
It’s about choosing and moving forward with the intention to learn and grow along the way. I’ve shared this idea in a reel before, and it resonates deeply: even if you think you’re making the “wrong” choice, you can always make it right. The path is yours to shape, not a fixed destination waiting to be reached. The beauty of life is in the journey, and every turn you take offers an opportunity for expansion, even when it feels uncertain.
5. If it doesn’t feel aligned, pushing harder won’t make it work.
The Learning: You’ve been told that persistence is always the answer. That if something isn’t working, you just need to try harder, be more disciplined, or prove your commitment. But this belief keeps you stuck in things that drain you—relationships, careers, goals that no longer fit—because you’re afraid to “quit.”
The Unlearning: Effort isn’t the solution when something isn’t meant for you. Alignment isn’t about how hard you push—it’s about how deeply something feels right. If something requires constant force, if it leaves you exhausted rather than energised, it might not be your path. Letting go isn’t failure; it’s wisdom.
When clients face the frustration of pushing harder but still not seeing results, I always try to help them step back and ask themselves the key question: Why do you keep pushing? If something doesn’t feel aligned, the answer often lies not in working harder, but in understanding why you’re forcing it in the first place.
Our intuition has a way of signalling when something isn’t meant for us, but we can sometimes ignore those nudges, believing that effort is the solution. The truth is, forcing something that doesn’t align with your values, energy, or purpose often leads to burnout, frustration, and disconnect. Pushing harder doesn’t make it work; it’s about recognising when it’s time to pause, reassess, and either realign your approach or let go. When you stop pushing against the flow, you make space for clarity, ease, and the alignment that will guide you in the right direction.
6. Feeling lost is not a sign of failure—it’s an initiation.
The Learning: There’s a fear that being lost means you’re falling behind, failing, or making mistakes. You may compare yourself to others who seem more “together” and wonder why you don’t have clarity.
The Unlearning: Every transformation begins with uncertainty. Trust the in-between. Feeling lost isn’t a detour—it’s part of the process. It’s the space where old identities dissolve and new possibilities emerge. When you stop resisting the unknown, you can lean into curiosity and discover what’s waiting for you beyond certainty.
Feeling lost is one of the most beautiful things that can happen in the journey of personal growth. So many people come to coaching because they feel lost, unsure of who they are, what they want, or where they’re headed. And that’s exactly where the magic begins. To be lost is to be in the space of transformation, where the old you is shedding and making room for the new. It’s the process of unlearning, letting go of limiting beliefs, and finding clarity through the confusion.
The age-old saying, “You have to get lost to be found,” holds deep truth because it’s in these moments of uncertainty that you discover parts of yourself you may have never known existed. Coaching isn’t about giving you all the answers; it’s about guiding you through this initiation, helping you trust the process, and empowering you to find your own way out of the fog
7. Just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean you have to keep doing it.
The Learning: You might believe that if you’re talented at something, you should pursue it. That turning away from it would be wasteful or irresponsible. This belief keeps people trapped in careers, relationships, or lifestyles that no longer bring joy, simply because they’re “good” at them.
The Unlearning: Your talents don’t define your destiny. Desire does. Just because you can doesn’t mean you must. What lights you up is just as important as what you excel at. Give yourself permission to walk away from what no longer excites you and toward what calls you—even if it makes no logical sense to others.
Before stepping into life coaching, I excelled in marketing and brand strategy—I was good at it, and I loved the work itself (the crazy hours and demanding timelines not so much). It did bring me success, and even now, I incorporate those skills into my coaching practice to help clients elevate their businesses and careers.
But life coaching is something I’m deeply passionate about in my mind body heart and soul. I’m good at it, I love it, and it lights me up in a way that just marketing and brand strategy full time no longer does. This doesn’t mean I’ve abandoned my past strengths or talents. Rather, it means I’ve embraced the freedom to evolve and pursue what feels most aligned in the present moment. Just because you’re talented at something doesn’t mean you’re stuck doing it forever; sometimes, your heart calls you to something new, and that’s when true growth happens. You don’t have to keep doing what you’re good at if it no longer nourishes your soul.
8. You don’t have to “be confident” before you start.
The Learning: Confidence is often seen as something you need to develop before you take action. This belief makes people wait—holding themselves back until they feel ready, capable, or fearless.
The Unlearning: Confidence is a byproduct of action, not a prerequisite for it. You don’t gain confidence by waiting; you gain it by doing. Every time you take a step, you prove to yourself that you can. The more you move, the more confident you become—not because the fear disappears, but because you stop letting it control you.
In my experience, it’s the bravery to start—even without confidence—that unlocks it. Whether it’s starting personal growth work, getting help, or stepping into something new, confidence isn’t a prerequisite; it’s a byproduct of courage. You get better by doing, you gain confidence by showing up, and you learn to trust yourself more with every step you take. So if you’re waiting for the perfect confidence to appear before making a move, let this be your sign: start now. Be brave. The confidence will follow.
9. Letting go isn’t about force—it’s about softening.
The Learning: Letting go is often seen as something active—something you do, as if you need to rip something away, cut ties abruptly, or force yourself to move on. But this approach can make letting go feel painful, as if you’re prying something from your grasp.
The Unlearning: You don’t have to pry something from your grip; you just have to loosen your hold. Letting go isn’t an act of force—it’s an act of trust. It’s choosing to release, to surrender, to soften. It’s allowing what’s meant for you to stay and what’s not to drift away naturally.
We often think that holding on tightly is a sign of strength, but in reality, it’s the opposite. It takes far more strength to loosen your grip and trust the flow of life. When we hold on—whether it’s to old habits, beliefs, or relationships—we create resistance. We think we’re protecting ourselves, but we’re actually keeping ourselves stuck in a cycle of tension. Letting go is much harder, because it asks us to trust, to release control, and to believe that we are safe even in the unknown. The true strength lies in allowing things to evolve naturally, not forcing them to stay the same. It’s in softening that you find the peace and freedom you’ve been seeking.
10. Personal growth isn’t about becoming someone new—it’s about remembering who you’ve always been.
The Learning: Growth is often framed as a process of becoming—as if the best version of you is somewhere in the future, waiting for you to catch up. This makes you feel like you have to chase an idealized version of yourself.
The Unlearning: The most profound evolution is a return to yourself. Growth isn’t about adding layers; it’s about peeling them away. It’s not about striving to be someone else—it’s about coming home to who you already are. Beneath the conditioning, the expectations, and the stories you’ve been told, there is a version of you that has always known the way. Trust that.
We often think growth means reinventing ourselves, becoming a “better” version of who we are, but in truth, growth is about peeling back, unlearning, the layers of conditioning, beliefs, and expectations that have accumulated over time. Your highest self, your true essence, has always been there, waiting to be rediscovered. It’s behind all the layers of learning and societal conditioning that shaped how you show up in the world. Unlearning is the key to returning to that authentic self, the person you were always meant to be before the world told you who you should be. The more you shed these layers, the more you reconnect to the power, wisdom, and truth that has always lived within you.
The key to personal growth? Unlearning
As we wrap up this episode, I want to remind you that personal growth isn’t always just about learning new things; it’s also about unlearning what no longer serves you. Sometimes, the most powerful shifts happen when we let go of the things that have held us back—whether that’s limiting beliefs, fears, or outdated stories about ourselves. It’s a journey of unlearning and rediscovery, shedding the layers that no longer align with your highest self. And in this process, you uncover a sense of clarity, peace, and authenticity that was always there, just waiting to be remembered.
If something from today’s episode resonated with you, I’d love for you to share your thoughts and leave a review. As a thank you, as I said at the beginning of the episode I’m offering a free mini reading to anyone who sends me a screenshot of their review—just DM me on Instagram or send me an email. I’ll respond with a personalised 5-minute voice or write up a note to guide you, either intuitively or answering a question you have. Thank you so much for being part of this community. I’m excited to continue growing through it together!
Until next time beautiful soul.
Love & positivity, Phi