Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 17: The #1 Barrier To Love

This episode pulls together all the learnings of the L💘VE SERIES from mindset, self love, energy and purpose. Find out what is the #1 barrier to love. What is blocking you from love and why it is blocking you from love.


What you'll learn from this episode

  • The #1 barrier to love in your life
  • The three things that block love from your life

Key Quotes from this Episode

Your job isn’t to find or look for love. It’s for you to figure out how you can be more open to love. To let more love in. How are you creating blockages when it comes to love?

The ego, the mind - we attach ourselves to the concept of love and by doing so, it no longer is love.

If it’s meant to be it will be, even if it’s in a year, ten years, twenty years.

Featured Resources on the episode

The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 17: The #1 Barrier To Love

You are listening to Episode 17 of the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang: The #1 Barrier To Love

[Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]:

Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.

Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.

My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.”

My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything.

Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose.

This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.

Ready to grow? Let’s grow!

[Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro]

[Episode 17 – The #1 Barrier to Love Begins]

Relationships as Mirrors Introduction

Hello beautiful soul and hello March! 

Say whaaat yes, two months down of the year and it’s already March. I have a cheeky confession, the love series was meant to the for month of February but I haven’t said all I needed to say on it. 

Oops and In fact can I ever? There is always so much to talk about when it comes to love. Especially for me – It’s been such a big theme of my life I swear I could talk endless hours on it. So many stories. So many experiences. So many insights from working with clients.

That being said for now I do see this as the last week I concentrate on love so see this podcast as bringing everything together from the love series that we have covered mindset, self love, energy and purpose. 

The series is still going on Instagram until the end of the week through posts, lives and reels. I popped up randomly to do a live on Instagram today about the purpose of love and I’ll probably circle back and talk about love mindset, self love and love energetics as well to close the loop.

My world - Intuitive card pulls

So what’s going on in my world and my clients? If you follow me on Instagram you may have seen I started doing intuitive card pulls for the community which have been really amazing. They have been very successful with people saying eerily accurate, overwhelmingly spot on and just how deeply the card pulled resonates with them. It might turn into a thing it might not but it’s been really fun to tap into my intuition and be a channel for spirit.

Client Wins in Relationships, Dating and Love


Shall we talk about love and clients?

I had a beautiful client who ended up in the arms of an ex and has had a massive breakthrough realising it was her old programming and past coming through with a new love potential already! 

I’ve had another client work through her own pain and triggers coming up in her relationship which has been a huge portal to self discovery. Another break up with her boyfriend which was scary and uncomfortable but realising everything on her path in life is happening for a reason, for her growth and expansion. 

For another client he’s realising he can love how he wants to, you don’t have to follow what society puts out there and tradition. You don’t have to get married. You don’t even have to be monogamous. You don’t even have to use labels. It’s all up to you – really, it is.

If you’re feeling pulled and called to work on the love in your life whether that’s your mindset around love, self love, the energy of love and what you’re attracting into your life or the purpose of love, get in touch, let’s chat as I would love to help you.

What is the #1 barrier to love?

Now let’s get into today’s episode The #1 Barrier To Love. Boom, yep it’s a big title but truly it’s the biggest barrier I’ve seen working with multiple clients, males and females, all ages and all over the world.

It may or may not surprises you. The biggest barrier to love is you.

Yes you.

We are our own worst enemy because we block love.

So how do you block love?

1. Constraints to love

Love is this beautiful, abundant, expansive energy.

It’s always available yet our minds, the ego says otherwise. There’s not enough love to go around. The old scarcity story coming up.

Love isn’t only in a romantic sense, someone to complete me and make me feel whole. Nope, love isn’t just a relationship in a romantic sense. Love is always around, in yourself – self love, in your friends, family, career, passion, hobbies.

It’s your mind that creates the construct. I only want love this way. My way or it’s no way.

Love has to happen by this date and look like this and feel like this.

That’s you creating constraints!

Another way you do it?

I’m only worthy of love when I’m like this or do this or be like this or weigh like this or look like this.

Who determines that? 


Again you are creating constraints to love by having to be a certain way before you accept love – it’s conditional… 

Open your heart, love is everywhere. Like I said on my Instagram post the other day, your job isn’t to find or look for love. It’s for you to figure out how you can be more open to love. To let more love in. How are you creating blockages when it comes to love?

2. Attachment to love

The ego, the mind – we attach ourselves to the concept of love and by doing so, it no longer is love.

Love is like the Corinthians bible verse.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.


Love is free. Love is non attachment.

Yet we constrain it like I said earlier or we become attached.

We want to control.

Love isn’t controlled.

Love is free.

I love the following quotes as I feel they truly embody love.


Quotes that embody love

If you love something set it free. If it comes back it's yours. If not, it was never meant to be.

Mmmm this one hits home. That’s why I always trust in myself and what is meant to be when it comes to love. The one who seemed to get away. The one you couldn’t get your mind off. The one who crushed your damn heart. The one who couldn’t commit.

It. doesn’t. matter.

If it’s meant to be it will be, even if it’s in a year, ten years, twenty years.

I have so much unshakeable faith and trust in this and I have so much inner peace in my being knowing this.

This Osho quote has always stuck by me:

If you love a flower, don't pick it up. Because if you pick it up it does and it ceases to be what you love. So if you love a flower, let it be. Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation.

Oh yes! How we want someone to change for us or we try to change for someone else.

Love is right now, as is. No need for change.

What really opened my eyes on this is well hey, I love someone and they aren’t perfect in fact for from it so that would of course apply to me. Someone is going to love me exactly as I am right now, flaws, beauty and all.

3. Closing our eyes to ourselves

The third reason why we are our own barrier to love? It’s closing our eyes to our selves. Not getting to know ourself. Being unconscious in the sense we aren’t aware of something.

If you are unaware you aren’t in the wrong because you don’t know about it and that’s okay. We can’t judge others because we always have something to learn, to grow, to expand ourselves. 

This unwillingness to see manifests when you jump from relationship to relationship or numb yourself to the pain and learnings of a past relationship through meaningless empty hook ups or getting so drunk you can’t remember anything and waking up dazed and confused. Maybe its by throwing yourself into your job, extra projects and hours or constantly going to the gym and being meticulous with what you eat.

It’s all a distraction. It’s all a buffering from feeling what we need to feel.

The so called negative emotions awaken us. Pain. Suffering. Negativity. Heartbreak. Disappointment. Betrayal.

They awaken us, to find ourselves. To understand ourselves better.

When you are aware of how you are, when you do the work, the reflecting you realise the stories you have, the beliefs, the values, perceptions, experiences how all of this makes up your programming and how your mind thinks.

When you are aware you can’t turn back, change is inevitable. Opening up to love is inevitable otherwise you are creating your own suffering.

So really how I am wrapping up the learnings of the love series is love is everywhere, it’s ready and open to you right now the question is, are you truly open to love? Are you getting out of your own way?

The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 17: The #1 Barrier To Love Close

Ahhh seriously this feels like such a soul satisfying way to end the series.

Being conscious of your mindset, your thoughts around love.

Being love, your true state as Eckhart Tolle says:


Love is a state of being. Your love is not outside, it is deep within you. You can never lose it, and it cannot leave you.”

The self love. Really transcending that it isn’t even self, it’s just pure love.

The energetics of love, understanding how you are always a magnet and pulling in a vibrational match for what is going on internally.

The purpose of love, how everyone we interact with is a mirror. That our purpose isn’t that we were born to be in a relationship, it goes on beyond that so much more. If you think that’s your purpose, here’s a truth bomb you are lacking purpose and meaning in your life.

Here’s to love because it truly is so incredible and expansive.

I truly hope you’ve enjoyed the love series as much as I have and based on all your lovely DMs and comments I can just feel all the love for this. So much love and appreciation for you beautiful soul. Until the next Tuesday, we’ll speak again. Love and Positivity. 

[Episode 17 – The #1 Barrier To Love Outro]

Are you wanting to find out more about 1:1 Coaching or working with me? Maybe perhaps you want to know more about me. I’d love to connect with you. You can visit my website phidang.com or connect with me on Instagram @thephidang. Speak to you soon.

Phi Dang