Let’s delve into the layered intricate world of your emotions. In this episode, we’re exploring a fundamental truth: Your feelings are always valid. In a world that often dismisses or invalidates emotions, this episode serves as a reminder that what you experience holds weight and significance. We’ll navigate the nuances of your feelings are always valid and go deeper together.

Feelings and emotions: astrology and human design

This episode is all about the feels… and you know I feel deeply with all the Scorpio in my chart (a water sign) and being an emotional authority in human design, I’m designed to deeply feel (in fact 50% of the world are emotional authorities too!).

It was such a game changer for me learning that I am meant to be what can be labeled as emotional, sensitive or moody (many of which are likely people with an open solar plexus in human design or those who themselves are not comfortable with feeling). 

Cultural conditioning and emotions

Growing up with an Asian heritage as Vietnamese and Chinese, I was conditioned to keep my feelings to myself.  Emotions were reinforced as private matters, to be dealt with internally rather than expressed outwardly. This cultural upbringing instills a sense of stoicism and self-reliance, where showing vulnerability was equated with weakness. It was all about saving face, not rocking the boat, maintaining harmony even at the expense of our own emotional well-being.

Societal conditioning, women and emotions

It’s not just cultural conditioning either it’s also societal, the stigma surrounding women and emotions often stems from outdated societal beliefs and gender stereotypes. Women have historically been portrayed as overly emotional or irrational, undermining women’s credibility and perpetuating harmful gender norms. It’s judged upon and easily dismissed being attributed to hormonal fluctuations or back to the classic irrational it doesn’t make sense (hello emotions aren’t rational!).

It’s hard to get it right because if you don’t display your emotions as a woman particularly warmth, you may be labelled as cold, unfeeling or lacking femininity. This double bind creates a challenging dynamic for women, as we feel pressure to navigate a narrow range of acceptable emotional expression.

The reality is that we we live a world that sometimes dismisses or invalidates our feelings. However I truly believe this is getting better especially post pandemic with the rising awareness, interest and social recognition on the importance of mental health now more than ever. As a coach one are in particular I work on a lot with clients is to support and guide my clients into feeling their feelings. Whilst you don’t have to understand them to feel them, a lot of clients feel better when there can be an understanding of what’s going on beneath the surface which is where  I can come in with subconscious work, intuition and human design to support and assist. 

Your feelings are always valid

Accordingly today’s episode centres around the perspective that your feelings are always valid. You always have a right to feel what you feel. The nature of emotions is subjective. It’s the acknowledgement of hello, yes as I’m existing right now, I am feeling this, right here and now in this moment. Your feelings are valid because you feel them. 

It’s important to remember that validating our feelings doesn’t mean we always understand them or agree with them. Emotions can be complex and nuanced, influenced by a multitude of factors such as past experiences, societal norms, and personal beliefs. However, regardless of whether others understand or validate our feelings, we have the right to honor and respect them.

Feelings aren't logical or rational

Whilst feelings aren’t based on logic or facts. That doesn’t take away from the importance and value of them. How we feel isn’t rational, but what we feel is very real as we experience them through our own consciousness. They stem from the depths of our subconscious. They are an integral part of what makes you human. Emotions serve as signals from your inner self, offering information and insights into your needs, desires, and experiences. Your emotions are a reflection of your unique perspective and life journey, and denying their validity can lead to repression and emotional distress.

Your feelings are always valid but how you act upon them may not be

It’s essential to recognise that while our emotions are valid, they are not excuses for harmful or destructive behavior. It’s not a permission slip to suddenly act however we want based on how we feel. We have to be conscious and considerate of their impact. Our feelings shouldn’t enable our actions to be unchecked. Instead, we ought to be responsible with how we approach them,
as signals to inform our choices rather than allowing them to control us. 

This requires a level of self-awareness and self-regulation, acknowledging our feelings without letting them overpower our sense of reason and consideration of self and others around us. To simply put, it may be helpful to see it from the perspective internally how we feel is always valid but what we do with it externally may not warrant that same validation in proportion to the feeling. 

It’s helpful to check in with yourself, do you have the power to be mindful of your emotions or have your emotions got power over you? Who is the driving force behind the wheel?

Taking responsibility for what you do with how you feel

Taking responsibility for our actions means acknowledging the impact they may have on ourselves and others, even when they stem from valid emotions. Instead of allowing our feelings to dictate our behavior without question, we can cultivate mindfulness and self-awareness to respond to our emotions in a way that aligns with our values and principles. 

This involves pausing and reflecting before acting impulsively, considering the consequences of our actions, and choosing responses in alignment with our best selves. By taking ownership of our behaviours and actions, even in the face of challenging emotions, we empower ourselves to navigate life with integrity, awareness and authenticity. This is how we use our emotions to cultivate emotional intelligence. It is also a responsibility and empowerment that your feelings belong to you. However they are.

Visceral reactions to feelings

It gets more challenging when we have raw feelings that lead to visceral reactions that are hard to manage. It’s like being caught in a whirlwind, where every thought and sensation swirls around us magnitude and force. In those moments, it feels like you’ve lost control. Yet, even in the midst of such turmoil, it’s essential to recognise that you aren’t your emotions or feelings. They are transient states that pass through us, like clouds drifting across the sky. Understanding this can help us weather the storm with greater resilience and clarity.

Having such feelings can be scary and lead to suppression but it’s got that pressure cooker effect, they will build up until they inevitably explode, causing even more turmoil and distress. As they say the body keeps score too, and it may lead to physical symptoms within the body such as constipation and repression of feelings. In these moments it’s a call to get grounded and to regulate our nervous system such as through breathing.

Your feelings are always valid but not always true

More over your feelings are always valid but they’re not always true. Our feelings often arise with thoughts and the creation of emotional narratives. It’s our mind taking liberty and reign to create our conditioning and programming. For example, you feel extremely anxious about an upcoming presentation at work. Your heart is racing, your palms are sweaty, and you can’t shake the feeling of impending doom. These feelings are undoubtedly real to you, but that doesn’t necessarily mean your presentation will be as dire as your emotions suggest.

In reality, you’ve they’ve prepared thoroughly for the presentation for weeks in advance and have received positive feedback from multiple people. The anxiety might stem from past experiences or a fear of failure rather than any actual indication that you will present poorly.

How to validate your feelings

Given all this what are some practices you can introduce to validate your own feelings? At the core of it is listening. So many of us can be scared as to what arises or live in the mindset ignorance is bliss. Meditation is a beautiful way to allow yourself to observe thoughts and feelings within your own body. We shift more into the body with a conscious scan to notice physical sensations whereas journaling is a conscious scan of the mind. From there it can be helpful to express your feelings to process them whether it’s labelling your emotions to figure out the nuances or a creative means like art or dance.

Ultimately validating your feelings doesn’t mean you have to agree with them or act on them. It simply means acknowledging and accepting them as valid aspects of your experience. This paves the way for greater self awareness and consciousness in your growth journey. If you’re looking to work on feeling your feelings, deepening your emotional intelligence and strengthening your connection to your heart and emotions, I’d love to help! 

I offer 1:1 coaching session and human design readings to help you. More information available on my website phidang.com or my Instagram @thephidang, please reach out I would love to hear from you. Until next time beautiful soul, love and positivity. 

Let’s work together through 1:1 coaching and/or a human design reading. 

Phi Dang