Mindset

  • 64 – Spiritual Tantrums

    Who would’ve thought that spiritual tantrums would offer some profound insight into who you are on a deeper level. This episode unpacks spiritual tantrums and how to navigate spiritual tantrums including perspectives on how to shift the way you see and feel about spiritual tantrums in your personal growth and development journey.

    Spiritual Tantrums - All the feels

    Hello beautiful soul, how have you been feeling this week? 

    Collectively in human design we’ve had the energy of the feels. Deep feelings.

    I’ve observed this within myself as an emotional authority in human design as well as in sessions with clients too.

    It’s those heavier, harder hitting feelings. The feelings you can’t run away from or ignore. The acute awareness and pressure of how deeply you are feeling something.

    When we feel so much it can bottle up and then come exploding out. At times we don’t know what to do with all these feelings and so accordingly, I thought it would be really interesting to delve into the concept of spiritual tantrums this week.

    What are spiritual tantrums?

    Spiritual tantrums are those moments when our emotions seem to spiral out of control, challenging our ego and inner peace. Things aren’t going the way we want. It renders you feeling powerless, helpless, defeated, deflated and disheartened. 

    It’s not just children who have tantrums, as adults we do too. Perhaps our inner child within feeling frustrated at how life is going and what is unfolding for us.

    Thus a tantrum arises, we want to scream, beg, kick, cry and twist the arm of the universe to have something done exactly in the way we want, how we want it and when we want it. If only! We know life doesn’t work like this. 

    Even though we know deep down what needs to be done and letting self discipline and self responsibility kick in… no I don’t want to adult today. No I don’t want to be conscious and aware today. No I don’t want to be here now in the present moment. No this sucks, it’s not real, everything I’ve been trying to manifest hasn’t happened yet it’s all fake. 

    Spiritual tantrum meanings

    Sometimes the tantrum calls for a deep frustration, rage that has us boiling, figurative steam blowing out of your ears – the ego cries it’s not fair! 

    Other it calls for retreating into a corner or fetal position sulking and sadness, feeling sorry for oneself – the ego cries poor me. 

    Some moments you hear yourself whispering but it’s not fair, I did everything I was supposed to. I do all the right things yet nothing – the ego cries I’m feeling entitled. 

    The ego jumps into default, why is this happening, what did I do to deserve this? 

    Are spiritual tantrums bad?

    All valid responses too I might add, we are human after all! When things aren’t going our way it does suck. It can induce anger. It can induce tears.

    What spiritual tantrums mean for your growth

    A spiritual temper tantrum is normal. It’s often a symptom things are changing around you in a way that’s stretching your normal tolerance, it’s uncomfortable, it’s edgy. It’s showing you that you’re going beyond your established limits, to break free often from repetitive patterns and anything else that holds you back. It’s an authentic part of the human experience.

    Like most children who have a tantrum, throwing every toy possible out of the cot, getting louder, whining, getting mopier, begging, pleading, bargaining… we hope that through the outburst things will go away, but cooling reality quickly comes into play. You can throw as many tantrums as you want, it doesn’t mean you’ll get your way. It doesn’t mean you’ll get the full undividing attention of the universe. 

    The universe is your loving parent

    Seeing the universe as our parent, the most loving and strongest force will not give into our tantrums because the universe and life itself has a grand plan for our greatest growth and expansion. The greatest commitment the universe made to you is taking on the full responsibility to see your highest evolution in this lifetime.

    Spiritual tantrums can be healthy

    Having a spiritual tantrum from time to time is healthy, in honouring the emotions that arise but we ought to be conscious of how this plays out in our life, if this impacts other people, doing it publicly vs privately within a safe space with support.

    Spiritual tantrums journaling prompts

    Can we see that when we throw a tantrum that this is an invitation from the universe to go deeper within ourselves. The tantrums aren’t bad, they give us an opportunity to get to courageously face our inner turmoil head on and reveal where are needs aren’t being met (by ourselves, not the universe… what if the outward tantrum isn’t to the universe but a mirror to ourselves and perhaps our inner child seeking our full attention. 

    Perhaps these emotional eruptions are not random; they are messengers, delivering important insights about our inner landscape. Can you ask yourself some questions such as:

    What is the underlying cause of my emotional reaction? What is this really about?

    What unmet needs are driving these intense feelings? 

    What patterns or beliefs am I holding onto that no longer serve me?

    Am I feeling empowered or hindered?  

    Cause of spiritual tantrums

    The answers will vary from person to person but often the root cause can stem from unmet expectations. The clash and contrast between our internal expectations and external reality. Maybe it’s a result of spiritual bypassing, ignoring and pretending things are okay, that we are at peace and not honouring the truth and shadows within bubbling to the surface.

    What to do when having a spiritual tantrum

    Take inspiration from dealing with tantrums whether toddlers or adults (I’ve seen my fair share back in the day especially working in retail!) that time out, taking a step back and space can do wonders, that kindness and love help. That guidance and talking to someone can be soothing.

    Spiritual tantrums mindset shift

    In closing of this episode, amongst my own musings, some pearls of perspective to share to help you shift out of spiritual tantrums:

    • That underneath it all we do are not in control of the timing and timelines of life, the universe is. We don’t know for sure what will or could happen in 5 minutes let alone a month or 5 years.

    • That sometimes we want to run when we haven’t mastered walking yet. That maybe you haven’t done all the necessary ground work yet.

    • You can’t eat non stop or you would get bored and sick. You need time to chew, swallow, digest and have a break even if the banquet is incredible.

    • The age old quote: “Sometimes what screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how is it supposed to be.” Perhaps the universe has the knowledge and vision of what is in our best interests and not ourselves.

    Spiritual tantrums are a stark, tough yet beautiful reminder that the path of spiritual growth and development is not always smooth or linear; it’s messy, raw, and very human. By meeting spiritual tantrums with curiosity, self awareness and compassion we can use them to further springboard our growth and development. May we continue to honour the full spectrum of all our emotions to be more aligned and authentic in life. 

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  • Feeling Unclear

    The Good News ?

    An energetic break is here. All planets are direct until April. The fog is lifting from the Mercury retrograde shadow period. The slow burn and stagnation of January is picking up speed.

    Mantra: I am seeing only a tiny Friction of the bigger Picture

    It’s okay not to be clear, it may just not be the right time for you 🍑 this is your sign to relax and be at peace. Things are still unfolding behind the scenes that you can’t see or comprehend yet.

    Maybe you can feel it but you can’t see it — that’s okay! We have intuitive senses beyond sight which I talk more in depth about in my book The Great Unlearning such as clairsentience (knowing) or clairaudience (hearing).

    It’s not your job to know everything, that’s for the universe 💫

    Focus on the next step, that next inspirational step, that nudge you are getting and let that set into motion what needs to unfold next.

    love & positivity ✨ phi

    Ready for energetic and spiritual guidance for a clearer picture of what’s to come for you in 2024? I’d love to help through 1:1 coaching or a human design reading. 

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  • What is meant to be will find it’s way

    This message was meant to find you;

    Relying on faith can be overwhelming.

    At times you’ll need a moment to take it all in.

    You can’t mess it up.

    It’s yours.

    All you have to do is believe in the process and continue your journey.

    It might take a day, maybe a year but what is meant for you will always find it’s way to you.

    Why the wait? Why the pain?

    The waiting, the gap, the in between, the changes, the transitions, the meantime… they all serve a necessary purpose. Even delays and detours are part of it.

    You will arrive at the perfect time, as the exact person you need to be, ready.

    Eventually everything will work out.

    It always does.

    Take a deep breath in and let go. Hold your power and vision. Everything will fall into place. You don’t have to worry about anything. Have faith.

    📖 The Great Unlearning by Phi Dang

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  • Life is tough, but so are you

    Life is tough, but...

    🧠 I keep messing up

    🧠 I feel defeated

    🧠 I won’t make it

    🧠 What’s the point

    🫀 Keep going

    🫀 Better days are coming

    🫀 Life is tough but so are you.

    What no one is talking about...

    It’s easy to get caught up in the belief that life seems easy and effortless all the time for everyone except you, that there must be something wrong with you because you are struggling and haven’t achieved the same amount as that person or done a lot like the other.

    The truth is life is hard inherently, life isn’t meant for your happiness, or at least just that… 💣

    Life is orchestrated for your growth and expansion 💥

    There will be tough times but if you’re honest, in those moments don’t you seem to change the most?

    The uncomfortable, the hard and discomfort help you to grow (it doesn’t feel like it at the time and often does looking back).

    Life is tough, but so are you 👊🏽

    I wrote the following in my book 📖 The Great Unlearning;

    “I know some days turn into nights and everything seems so unbearable you want to escape into darkness. When everything is dark, don’t forget about the light. Turn within and whisper to your soul. Place your hand over your heart and feel the devotion that beats for you. Some of the best days of your life are yet to happen. Some of the best moments of your life are yet to be had. Some of the unforgettable memories are yet to be made. The people you’ll meet are yet to be met. The souls you’ll fall in love with are yet to be loved. The excitement you’ll have that’s yet to unfold. The mystery and magic of life that’s waiting to reveal itself. Hold on because you’re only on a single page while novels are being written within you.” 🪄

    This is your sign to keep going, tough times aren’t the end, maybe they are a beautiful new beginning…

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  • A gentle reminder…

    A gentle reminder...

    Gentle reminder: You are loveable, and you are loved.

    You are trying your best and I see you.

    Even when...

    Even when you make mistakes. Even when you try your best and don’t succeed. Even when you snap because you are angry and frustrated with the world. Even when you’re annoyed at yourself and others. Even when you’re caught up in an anxious loop. Even when you fall asleep with tears in your eyes. Even when you feel like a burden to everyone. Even when you are caught up in the past. Even when you feel stuck in your head and feel like you’re making everything about you. Even when you doubt yourself. Even when you have a critical self-voice that says otherwise. It can be easy to forget and this is why this reminder exists 🥹

    An excerpt from my book 📖 The Great Unlearning by Phi Dang

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  • New beginnings aren’t perfect…

    Everything will be okay

    You don’t have to have a happy start or beginning.

    Maybe it’s been mediocre.

    Maybe it’s been messy.

    Maybe it’s been confusing.

    Maybe it’s been just down right terrible and that’s okay.

    It doesn’t mean the journey or the destination won’t work out.

    Don’t overthink things.

    Take it step by step, moment by moment.

    Be kind to yourself.

    Give yourself love, compassion and grace.

    Everything will be okay.

    YOU set the tone

    Not so happy new year? 😕 Guess what?

    It’s okay!

    It doesn’t set the tone for the rest of what’s to come… it won’t define the year ahead, it won’t unless you let it…

    I remember starting 2023 in a strange place, everything on paper was perfect yet I wasn’t fully “happy” and “lit up” off the back of a breakup and the anniversary of my dads death and birthday… yet I ended up having one of the best years of my life in 2023 🥰

    I got to work with amazing clients, have the biggest month of my business, release my debut book 📖 The Great Unlearning, travel internationally, spend time with friends and family and met my now new partner 🫶🏽

    New beginnings can be overwhelming even when you’re excited.

    Allow yourself the grace and love to feel it all.

    After all life is a duality of high highs, low lows and everything in between.

    What matters is your mindset. Your perspective, what is IN your control.

    You set the tone. You set the pace.

    You have power.

    Enjoy the journey!

    Here’s to your growth and expansion in 2024.

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  • Feeling ‘meh’ about the new year?

    POV: Feeling eh about 2024?

    Do you feel a bit ‘eh blah’, like 2024 hasn’t really hit for you…

    And the new year hasn’t given you the motivation to do your intentions and figure out what you’re vibing for the year?

    It’s okay.

    It’s not just you.

    It's all about ENERGY

    The reason you are feeling egh and bleh about the new year may very well have nothing to do with you, in fact it could be because of the 🌀 energy 🌀 especially if you’re empathetic and intuitive.

    In terms of energy there are several different perspectives out there… astrologically some may believe the 111 portal with the Capricorn new moon is new year (11/1 — 11th of January) or maybe end of March with the Spring Solstice… human design says in a couple of weeks with the kick of the collective fantasy imagination energy…

    All in all, this is your permission slip to give yourself grace.

    To be kind and compassionate if you’re not feeling motivated, inspired, lit up and all guns blazing in 2024 yet.

    There’s a window energetically open from about the 11th of January even until April 🫶🏽

    For more on this listen to my latest episode on my podcast
    🎧 Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang
    Episode 56: New Year Energy 2024

    love & positivity ✨ phi

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  • New Level, New Devil

    New Level, New Devil

    Reminder: When things get hard and uncomfortable;

    New Level, New Devil.

    Life has it's own seasons

    It will feel uncomfortable and unpredictable.

    Life has its own seasons, some mean growth like Spring or rest and integration like Winter.

    The next level isn’t meant to be easy and paved with positivity. New level, new devil.

    You have to deal with things that others don’t want to.

    You have to ask questions that others don’t dare to.

    You have to pay attention to the niggling of your soul deep down that others ignore.

    It may feel like you’re alone on a rocky road—but you’re not.

    At the very least, know you have a whole team on the other side supporting you, your higher spiritual council.

    📖 The Great Unlearning by Phi Dang

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  • Don’t forget about glimmers

    Life isn't easy.. but don't forget about glimmers

    It can be easy to get caught up in the hard, the negative, the fear, the overwhelm, the doubts, what’s not going right, how you’ve messed it up, how it isn’t enough, what’s missing aaaaand it goes on and on

    And truth be told?

    Sometimes we need that.

    To be in it.

    To feel it.

    A big overarching theme I’m feeling for 2024 ✨ is to remember the light especially in what has been such a year of growth and change in 2023.

    To find the glimmers ✨ opposite to triggers — moments that spark joy, peace and safety often in the small things 😌

    Here’s to seeing, feeling and being the light in 2024 💡

    love & positivity ✨ phi

    Looking for support and guidance to make 2024 your biggest and best year yet? 🚀 let’s work together through 1:1 coaching or a human design reading 🧡

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  • 6 Things I Never Expected to Unlearn After Losing My Dad A Decade Ago

    May loss not define you

    10 years later the journey continues and I can’t quite believe I’ve lived 1/3 of my life without him 🥹

    Grief has no expiration date.

    It is never too late to grieve.

    In the early days it was raw and overwhelming.

    I numbed it. I suppressed it. I ignored it. I resented it.

    The myth that time heals all wounding is understandable however really we learn to grow around the grief and expand.

    Grief does not end or stop.

    It becomes part of the journey weaved into the everyday, a mosaic of joy and sorrow all at once that is part of the human experience.

    Loss and grief have shown me it doesn’t end with the loss of our loved one that it isn’t useless, in fact it’s led me to become a life coach something I never would have comprehended a decade ago (I was meant to be a lawyer or CMO!!).

    And that is the beauty; the twists and turns of life and how pain can turn into power and purpose.

    Now I honour it. I lean into it. I feel it. I’m grateful for it.

    As a coach it has been a privilege to support and witness individuals navigate the complexities of grief in learning to feel the feelings, redefine the narrative and unlock the strength and resilience that emerges from heartache.

    Here’s to the journey 🫶🏽

    May loss not define you but propel you into greater depths of living: with gratitude, with radiance and to embrace the immense gift of not just being alive; but living 🚀

    love & positivity ✨ phi

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