• Life isn’t easy but you were designed not only to survive but thrive.

    Life isn’t easy but you were designed not only to survive but thrive. 

    You were created to be able to withstand the hardships, the storms and enjoy the sunshine. 

    You were made to navigate it all exactly as you have for your greatest growth and expansion. 

    I hope on your darkest days you remember how unique and special you truly are. 

    You are a universe in itself and no one has experienced everything as you have. 

    No one thinks exactly the way you do. No one feels the layers and depths of emotions as you do. I hope that one bad moment never outshines the beauty and goodness of your heart and soul.

    Every individual is born with a unique blueprint, an intricate design that equips them to navigate life’s journey in a way no one else can. Your human design.

    This blueprint encompasses your innate gifts, your personality traits, and the specific challenges you’re meant to face and overcome.

    You were specially designed to handle the circumstances of your life. Whether you are introverted or extroverted, logical or creative, your unique composition allows you to approach situations in a way that is distinctively yours.

    This uniqueness is not a flaw; it is your greatest strength. Embracing it is the first step towards unlocking your full potential.

    If you’re curious about finding out more, I invite you to do a human design reading with me 🧡☺️

    love & positivity ✨ phi

    I offer 1:1 coaching and human design readings. Send me an email or DM me on Instagram to set up a free 30 minute call to see what’s right for you 🌻

    If you like my writing, you’ll love my book! 📖 The Great Unlearning: Awakening to Living an Aligned and Authentic Life by Phi Dang

    For more on all things self love, mindset, energy and purpose listen to my podcast: 🎧 Grow Through it Podcast with Phi Dang


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  • The future is coming

    When life falls apart, know that the future is coming… so enjoy the process knowing one day you’ll look back knowing that everything isn’t falling apart but falling together.

    Do not be afraid of the darkness for you have the capacity to plunge into the depths of the ocean that is your soul.

    Even the darkest of nights end when the sun rises. It’s always darkest before dawn.

    Even the biggest waves will surrender and subside.

    The moon will kiss the sun and see the light of day.

    Raindrops will refresh the barren earth.

    Gardens will sprout from your aching bones.

    Galaxies will emerge from the emptiness that haunts you.

    Love will pour into the cracks of your soul and mend your wounds.

    Stars will sparkle in the shadows of your soul.

    Flowers will bloom in the darkest crevices of your mind.

    📖 The Great Unlearning by Phi Dang

    love & positivity ✨ phi

    Looking for support and guidance in moving forward with your life? I got you, I offer 1:1 coaching and human design readings. Send me an email or DM me on Instagram to set up a free 30 minute call to see what’s right for you or DM me 🌻

    If you like my writing, you’ll love my book! 📖 The Great Unlearning: Awakening to Living an Aligned and Authentic Life by Phi Dang

    Click here to read more

  • All will be well

    All will be well. Even when it doesn’t feel that way. I think it’s so beautiful that you allow yourself to feel so deeply. I think it’s so beautiful how you mourn the ending of a chapter. I think it’s so beautiful that your tears fuel your growth and rebirth. I think it’s so beautiful how you hold onto the light despite the darkness that may temporarily cloud you. I think it’s so beautiful because you’re about to bloom. It’s so beautiful that you’ve allowed heartbreak to crack open your heart even wider to more. More love. More light. More hope. More of everything you deserve.

    There is so much beauty in being the fullest expression of you, in being human — imperfectly perfect, feeling every layer and nuance that there is.

    May you see the growth that lies in each experience.

    May you hold on despite tough days and hard seasons.

    May you keep going to see your full potential 🌻

    love & positivity ✨ phi

    Looking for support and guidance in moving forward with your life? I got you, I offer 1:1 coaching and human design readings. Send me an email or DM me on Instagram to set up a free 30 minute call to see what’s right for you or DM me 🌻

    Keywords: [life quotes, life journey, spirituality, soul growth]

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  • Where you are heading won’t always be clear

    Where you’re heading won’t always be clear.

    In moments of uncertainty, life is asking you to surrender and trust where you are being led. To get comfortable with the uncomfortable. To trust your intuition with all your heart and soul despite how illogical it seems. Even if everyone around you questions your path. It doesn’t make sense right now because it isn’t supposed to but one day it will. Don’t be afraid, remember you are brave. Don’t be afraid, remember you are capable. Don’t be afraid, remember you are being protected. Keep going. One step at a time.

    Because maybe all isn’t as it appears. The more unclear and uncertain, the more trust is required in the universe and your faith but greatest of all: the trust within yourself.

    To be able to handle whatever will come your way.

    To be able to lean into the unknown and embrace the magic and what awaits on the other side 🪄
    love & positivity ✨ phi

    Looking for guidance and support in terms of direction, purpose and what is happening in your life? I got you 🫶🏽 I offer 1:1 coaching and human design readings. 

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  • 78: Precision over perfection, be willing to wobble

    Perfectionism often holds us back from reaching our full potential, paralysing us with the fear of making mistakes. But what if we shifted our focus from achieving perfection to striving for precision? What if we embraced wobble moments, and in fact leaned into the wobble? That there is so much strength embedded in imperfection.

    Inspired by wobbling, the wobble moments

    Hello beautiful soul, how is your heart and soul today? Earlier this week I wrote a piece on wobbling that’s on my Instagram: “It’s okay, even though it doesn’t seem or appear to be. It’s okay to wobble, to fall, to stumble, to trip. It happens when you’re doing your best outside your comfort zone. It happens when you are pushing beyond the edges of your fears to expand. This is the space, the void, where growth truly occurs, where you discover strengths you never knew you had. It’s in these moments of uncertainty, instability and challenge that you build resilience and character. Every step taken beyond your familiar is a stride towards a more courageous, confident, and capable version of yourself. Embracing discomfort is not easy, but you’re doing it beautiful soul because you’re unlocking your full potential and that’s a beautiful, brave thing. Keep going.”

    Wobbling and life coaching

    This was inspired by my coaching clients as I have the privilege of holding space, guiding and supporting them. Seeing wobbles in different contexts and areas of life. Please note I share these examples with strict anonymity and confidentiality. Names, situations have been tweaked and changed so I can share with you examples of life coaching and the power of it.

    Emily has been feeling stuck in her job for years, dreaming of pursuing her passion for photography full-time. However, the idea of leaving the stability of her job is daunting, and she’s uncertain about whether she can make it as a professional photographer. During coaching sessions, Emily experiences moments of doubt and fear, wondering if she’s making the right decision. Through coaching and working together, Emily realises that her fear is a sign that she’s stepping outside of her comfort zone and pursuing her dreams. The fear is a wobble but her strength is aligning in her purpose, her passion. 

    Ashley, a client struggling with communication issues in his relationship, experiences a wobble when he and his partner have a disagreement. Feeling frustrated and unsure of how to move forward, that’s when Ashley decided to do life coaching with me. In our conversations we uncover underlying patterns and beliefs that contribute to his communication challenges. The wobbles manifest as unconsciously picking fights or self sabotaging based self worth. As Ashley gains insight into his own triggers and behaviours, he begins to see his wobble as an opportunity to deepen his connection with his partner. To do the work first within himself to improve the relationship and to open up his heart and be more vulnerable about past experiences that have led to these triggers and behaviours. 

    How to cope with wobbling through life coaching

    These are only just two examples! If you’re feeling the pull and resonating with what I’m sharing, I have 1:1 coaching spots open and invite you to get in touch so I can set up a free call to chat with you to see if we aligned and a fit for working together to help you be happier, soul satisfied, self fulfilled, abundant, magnetic, radiant, loving and beyond.

    Be willing to wobble

    Today’s episode is fuelled by the wobble! Wobbling is not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of growth in motion. Think about it like this: when we’re learning to ride a bike, we don’t just jump on and magically ride perfectly from the get-go. No, we wobble, we fall, and we get back up again. Each wobble teaches us something new—how to balance, how to steer, how to keep moving forward. In life, it’s the same. Every stumble, every setback, is an opportunity to learn, adapt, and grow stronger.

    The core essence and message of this episode is to be willing to wobble. It’s in the wobble we realise our strength. There is strength in imperfection. Wobbling is truly a sign of giving something a go. It’s aligned with beginner’s mindset. Both concepts revolve around the willingness to try, to stumble, and to learn from every experience, regardless of the outcome.

    Beginners mindset and wobbling

    At the heart of a beginner’s mindset lies a sense of openness and curiosity—an eagerness to explore new possibilities without preconceived notions or judgments. Similarly, embracing wobbling requires a similar attitude of humility and willingness to embrace uncertainty. When we approach challenges with a beginner’s mindset, we acknowledge that we’re not expected to have all the answers or to perform flawlessly from the start. Instead, we’re open to the process of learning, experimenting, and growing, one wobble at a time.

    Trying is the catalyst that propels us forward on our journey of growth. It’s the willingness to take that first step, even if it means risking failure or facing discomfort. When we try, we push past our comfort zones and expand our boundaries, paving the way for new opportunities and discoveries. Every attempt, no matter how small or imperfect, contributes to our learning and development, building momentum towards our goals.

    Precision over perfectionism

    I recently came across an article by Michelle Finerty who combines her two loves of yoga and writing together. That itself I love because she is an example, an expander, of one of many people who combine their passions to find their own unique path in life. The article really spoke to me and I wanted to share two things I took out of it.

    “When we allow perfection to take center stage, we set the groundwork for suffering instead of soaring.” Perfectionism is full of judgement, it stifles instead of allowing growth and expansion.

    “Precision, not perfection is the goal.” Oooof. That shift from perfection to precision. This was in the context of yoga however I think it can apply to many things in life. It’s about the energy in which you approach something such as a goal or exercise. Perfection is static, there’s only one way to go about something, it’s stifling and restrictive with one ideal result in mind. There’s no room for anything but that, no spaciousness, no graciousness. Precision is about the process and progress. It’s about how are you going to get there, and yes, you can uphold high standards for yourself but it’s not impossible, weight crushing, soul stamping perfection. Precision is the how. Perfectionism is the outcome. Ponder upon this, “nature is precise, not perfect; otherwise there would be no evolution.”

    Precision involves a focus on accuracy, clear communication, and thoughtful action, whereas perfection often entails an unrealistic and unattainable standard. When you strive for precision, you set achievable benchmarks and prioritise progress over flawlessness. This shift in mindset can alleviate the stress and pressure associated with perfectionism, fostering a healthier, more productive approach to personal development and goal attainment.

    A practical example of precision over perfectionism

    What comes to mind from my own experience is that of learning to surf. It’s so much fun, it’s challenging and there’s many elements to consider that factor in: the waves themselves, the weather, your body, internal strength, the surfboard you choose and so fourth. When you’re first learning you’re keen and eager to stand up for the first time. If you obsess over every detail such as the exact placement of your feet to the angle of your body, you’ll be in your mind and not actually in the experience of surging.

    It’s a humbling experience and the precision mindset is that of practicality. You have to concentrate on mastering the fundamental steps first, such as properly positioning yourself on the board, understanding the timing of the waves, and maintaining a balanced crouch before standing. Every time you practice and try, you have to make small, deliberate adjustments to improve your technique gradually. As I found you celebrate first being able to stay on the board, then even kneeling, then standing up and falling and then finally standing up, staying on and riding the wave. In that very process you inevitable wobble and fall over and over again!

    Precision over perfectionism in yoga

    Imagine you’re in a yoga class, practicing the Downward Dog pose. A perfectionist might strive to have every angle and line of their body match a textbook image of the pose or replicating the instructor, obsessing over getting your heels to touch the ground and your back perfectly straight, often leading to frustration and discomfort when your body doesn’t comply. The perfectionist focus on achieving an idealised version of the pose can cause tension and detract from the benefits of the practice.

    In contrast, someone focusing on precision approaches Downward Dog with a different mindset. You pay attention to key elements that matter most for your body’s alignment and health—like ensuring your hands are spread wide, your weight is evenly distributed, and you’re lengthening their spine. You might not have their heels touching the ground or their back perfectly straight, but you’re engaging the muscles correctly and reaping the benefits of the pose. This precise approach acknowledges and respects your current physical state, promoting progress without the unrealistic expectation of perfection.

    That’s why lately I’m finding in many classes I go to, the best teachers advise you to tune into your body, to allow it to go as far as it can in that very class instead of being technically perfect and hurting your body by forcing and contorting it.

    Mental and spiritual perfectionism

    Take this to your spiritual growth, you can be so called perfect doing a morning routine consisting of a certain set of steps everyday yet not feeling better because again you just want to be perfect and get it done instead of actually being in the experience okay I am meditating now. It’s not about having no thoughts and that perfectionism. The precision in meditation is observing my thoughts with curiosity. If you just do the thing to get to the end goal instead of noticing the shifts, how you are responding, what is working, what is not working. What one person’s morning routine may work for them but even if you replicated it perfectly, it doesn’t mean it will work for you. Everyone’s needs are different. Everyone feels uniquely within themselves. 

    The beauty of precision

    Precision encourages a mindset of continuous improvement. Instead of being paralysed by the fear of making mistakes, you can embrace a growth-oriented perspective. Fumbles, falls, stumbling, wobbles, mistakes, errors are opportunities for improvement and refinement. This approach aligns with the concept of “progress over perfection,” where the emphasis is placed on incremental advancements rather than an unattainable ideal. By honing in on specific, measurable aspects of what you are trying to achieve, you can make tangible improvements that accumulate over time, leading to significant growth and development.

    Wobbling in life—experiencing moments of instability, uncertainty, or even failure—is crucial for personal growth, resilience, and adaptability. 

    Physical wobbling strengthens you

    In physical exercises, wobbling is a great thing because it challenges and strengthens muscles by engaging stabiliser muscles and improving balance and coordination. When we wobble during exercises like squats, lunges, or yoga poses, our muscles are forced to work harder to maintain stability, leading to increased strength and endurance over time.

    Wobbling also activates smaller, often unused, overlooked or neglected muscles that are crucial for joint stability and overall functional movement. By challenging these muscles through wobbling, we improve our overall body awareness and strength too.

    Moreover, wobbling encourages us to focus on proper form and technique, which are essential for preventing injuries and maximising the effectiveness of our workouts. Precision over perfection!

    When we wobble, it’s a signal that our body is out of alignment or that we’re compensating for weaknesses in certain muscle groups. By paying attention to these cues and making necessary adjustments, we can ensure that we’re working the right muscles and reducing the risk of injury.

    Furthermore, wobbling adds an element of variability and progression to our workouts. As we become stronger and more proficient in exercises, we can increase the intensity by introducing instability tools like balance boards, stability balls, or BOSU balls. These tools challenge our muscles in new ways, promoting continued growth and improvement.

    Personal development and wobbling

    Outside of the physical, navigating life’s wobbles builds mental and emotional strength.

    Firstly, wobbling fosters resilience. When we face setbacks or unexpected challenges, we’re forced to adapt and find ways to regain our footing. Each wobble presents an opportunity to learn, grow, and develop new coping mechanisms. Over time, these experiences build resilience, enabling us to bounce back stronger from adversity.

    Secondly, wobbling encourages innovation and creativity. Embracing uncertainty opens us up to new possibilities and perspectives. It pushes us out of our comfort zones and encourages us to explore alternative solutions and approaches. Some of the greatest breakthroughs and innovations stem from navigating through moments of uncertainty and ambiguity.

    Thirdly, wobbling cultivates humility and empathy. When we wobble, we’re reminded of our humanity, it humbles and dissolves the ego that wants perfection instantly. This humility allows us to connect more deeply with others, as we recognise that everyone faces their own struggles and challenges. Everyone has their own wobbles. It fosters empathy and understanding, strengthening our relationships and our sense of community.

    Moreover, wobbling fuels personal growth and self-discovery. Each wobble presents an opportunity for reflection and introspection. By examining our reactions and responses to challenges, we gain valuable insights into our strengths, weaknesses, and values. This self-awareness enables us to make informed decisions and pursue paths that align with our authentic selves.

    In essence, wobbling is not just an inevitable part of life; it’s a necessary catalyst for growth, resilience, and self-discovery. By embracing life’s wobbles with courage and openness, we can navigate through uncertainty with grace and emerge stronger, wiser, and more resilient individuals. The way to go about this through the mindset and energetic shift of precision over perfectionism.

    Thank you for tuning in beautiful soul, until next time, love and positivity.

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  • It’s okay to wobble

    It’s okay, even though it doesn’t seem or appear to be. 

    It’s okay to wobble, to fall, to stumble, to trip. It happens when you’re doing your best outside your comfort zone. It happens when you are pushing beyond the edges of your fears to expand. 

    This is the space, the void, where growth truly occurs, where you discover strengths you never knew you had. 

    It’s in these moments of uncertainty, instability and challenge that you build resilience and character. 

    Every step taken beyond your familiar is a stride towards a more courageous, confident, and capable version of yourself. Embracing discomfort is not easy, but you’re doing it beautiful soul because you’re unlocking your full potential and that’s a beautiful, brave thing. Keep going.

    The wobbles and stumbling are perceived as a sign of weakness or perhaps failing and not doing something right… so you beat yourself up, you hear the negative self talk — criticism, disapproval and you feel awful 😣

    Here’s the thing, if you’re wobbling and stumbling it’s because you’re doing something! You’re not staying still, you’re moving and that is progress.

    Embracing the discomfort that comes with taking action, leaning into growth isn’t easy but a necessary part of growth.

    Growth often starts with a moment, a decision to try!

    Be proud of the wobbles and stumbles, don’t let it deter you but strengthen you 🌱

    Should you need support and guidance I offer 1:1 coaching in all areas of life including relationships, career, dating, business, spiritual growth, personal development and mindset + 1:1 coaching. Get in touch for more information 🧡

    love & positivity ✨ phi

    P.S. if you like my writing you’ll love my book 📖 The Great Unlearning

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  • 77: Embracing Ageing and Life-ing (The Gift of Years)

    This episode is a deep dive on ageing. It will provide you with powerful perspective shifts on what it means to age and get older. How to embrace ageing and why it is such a gift to do so. Expect a thought provoking podcast that will make you think. 

    Intuitive message on ageing

    Hi Beautiful Souls, how is your heart and soul today? I’ve been doing some wonderful 1:1 coaching calls and human design readings and a theme that has come through strongly of lately is ageing. Now ageing isn’t unique to some people, it’s a universal passage and journey that we will all experience. 

    It inspired a recent Instagram post I wrote: 

    “And suddenly you’re older. Fear hits you like a truck as does the anxiety and panic. Here’s the the thing, what a privilege it is to age. You are also wiser. You are also stronger. You are also more resilient. Age has made you more agile and adaptable. You’ll never be as young as you are right now. Your spirit is eternal. Your spirit is endless. The sum of who you are in this moment is every age that you’ve been. Think of who you’ve been before, who you are now and who you are becoming. That is oh so very beautiful.”

    Astrological energetic transits ageing

    I’ve been doing Saturn Return readings for those currently in the lead up to and their transit 27-30 which is the spiritual equivalent of turning 21, your coming of age. Many of which this week happened to be karmic in nature.

    I also did a reading for a projector who’s in her 30’s and trying to understand the purpose of why she went through what she did and the current phase after her life (because to have your Saturn Return is one thing, Saturn is about discipline after all so it’s about maintaining the lessons and growth from your Saturn Return) until you hit your 40’s whereby it’s all about your Uranus Opposition, the spiritual mid life point or for some mid life crisis vibes. 

    I’ve also been coaching clients this week particularly aged 20-24 and talking about how each year of your 20’s is so different. 

    At any given point in time there’s astrological transits to help you expand and grow more, to become more aligned with yourself – that’s an episode for another day but essentially if you’re feeling a curiosity around how you’re feeling in relation to a certain age, chances are you’re in a transit. You can find out more in 1:1 coaching or a human design reading with me!

    Oracle card ageing

    I also pulled a collective oracle card for anyone listening to this podcast and no surprises the ‘aging’ one came out with this mantra: I am one with unlimited love, beyond all seeming restrictions of age. I am filled with joy, energy and beauty – a vessel for the divine.

    Redefining ageing

    Society often portrays aging, especially for women, as something to be feared or avoided. But aging is a natural, inevitable part of life that brings wisdom, experience, and new opportunities.

    “It is commonly thought that time is the particular enemy of women. Because we supposedly have so much to lose: our ‘looks’, our fertility, our cultural capital… But there are other ways of looking at it. That women have timepieces built into their bodies – ‘primarily biological clocks’ and the menopause – signs that must eventually be heeded, signs that are, finally, impossible to ignore, seems to me as much a gift as a curse…It strikes me that one consequence of this bodily awareness of time is that adulthood – with all its complex responsibilities and demands – often seems to come as less of a surprise to women than it does to men (there’s a reason our folk tales are full of ‘wise old women’).”

    Further to that, as a life coach I will say that our thoughts create our reality through what we believe and Marilyn Ferguson rightly says

    "Of all the self-fulfilling prophecies in our culture the assumption that aging means decline and poor health is probably the deadliest.”

    Growing up and being in a Western Culture, it’s definitely more youth-orientated where youth, beauty and vitality are the focuses. Aging is seen as a decline in desirability and relevance. This is compounded by a mammoth anti-aging industry.

    Though things are changing, and I share the examples of women in the media. JLo is worshipped for her age defying appearance as is Anne Hathaway who seems to be “ageing backwards.”

    Celebrity culture on ageing

    Though things are changing, and I share the examples of women in the media. JLo is worshipped for her age defying appearance as is Anne Hathaway who seems to be “ageing backwards.”

    Pamela Anderson was the epitome of bombshell with her surgically enhanced body and heavy make up in her younger years and as of late has been deemed “unrecognisable,” going make up free. She’s come out saying that “anti-ageing” is a lie,” that  “we’re getting older no matter what,” and that she calls it ‘life-ing, not aging.”

    She penned the following poem on her Instagram “Life humbles you. As you grow old…you stop chasing the big things and start valuing the little things…alone time, enough sleep, a good diet, long walks, and quality time with loved ones,” she wrote in the caption. “Simplicity becomes the ultimate goal…

    With this all threads through gender and more culture; the sensuality, sexuality of being a woman. The erotic gaze, being desired or feeling liberated from desire. The framing that men have a body where as women are a body. 

    Ultimately it boils down to a pro-aging revolution, whether you embrace grey hairs or cover them up, go make up-free or not, it’s about embracing the life you’ve lived so far and who you are at every age.

    Different cultures on ageing

    With regards to other cultures; in different cultures including Asian, South Asian and African there is respect for elders and in particular women are the matriarchs of the family, making key decisions and guiding younger generations. Getting older is seen as something to look forward to.

    Within indigenous cultures, elders are seen as wisdom keepers and spiritual guides who play a crucial role in preserving and passing down traditions, stories, and cultural knowledge.

    With age, yes we lose certain things but we also gain so much…

    With ageing comes experience

    One of the greatest gifts of aging are the experiences we accumulate which hopefully is turned into wisdom.

    “In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.”

    It’s the core reason why many of us may wish to be younger but only if we can have with us the insights we’ve accumulated.

    These experiences broaden how we see the world and give us different perspectives on how to navigate life, what matters and what we give meaning to.

    With what we’ve gained we can also share with others, taking on a mentorship or teacher role whether formally or not.

    At 18, there would be so much you would share with your 13 year old self. In your 20’s there’s so much you would share with the version of you navigating high school. What you’d tell yourself in your early 20’s by the time you reach the end of it. What you know at 30 vs 40 vs 50 vs 60 vs 70 and so fourth. Huge shifts. Different remarks.

    Whilst time isn’t a guarantee, often in life it’s realising it’s never too late so long as you are breathing and alive, anything is possible!

    In my book,  The Great Unlearning: Awakening to Living an Aligned and Authentic Life, I write:

    Maybe you’re worried about going back to university and starting a new course aged twenty-nine that takes three years. By the time you finish, you’ll be thirty-two. Whether or not you do the course, in three years, you’ll still be thirty-two. You’re nervous about never meeting ‘the one’ and you meet them aged thirty-seven. Are you upset you’re aged thirty-seven or are you happily in love aged thirty- seven? The only thing that’s keeping you behind is being fixed on a specific timeline. You can’t be falling behind because who set the pace and tone anyway? You’re allowed to move at your own pace. You’re allowed to take your time. Life isn’t linear but an open and organic canvas.

    "Aging is not ‘lost youth’ but a new stage of opportunity and strength.”

    All in all don’t forget you don’t lose every age you’ve been as you get older, you accumulate it. You are all the ages up until this point 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18… you get my point! You are all the ages you’ve ever been.

    Let your mind ponder this layered quote from William Wordsworth, “The wiser mind mourns less for what age takes away than what it leaves behind.” 

    New beginnings and opportunities

    Aging is not the end of new opportunities. Many women find new passions, hobbies, and even careers later in life.

    In my book, The Great Unlearning, I write:

    “Lawyer Amal Clooney (née Alamuddin) met actor George Clooney when she was thirty-five, went on to marry him and have twins. Vera Wang entered the fashion industry at age forty and is now a household name. It’s now even possible for women to have children at the age of fifty with the help of medical advancements. “

    Quotes on the new beginnings and opportunities that ageing brings:

    “When you’re young, there’s so much now that you can’t take it in. It’s pouring over you like a waterfall. When you’re older, it’s less intense, but you’re able to reach out and drink it. I love being older.”

    "You are as young as your faith, as old as your doubt; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your fear, as young as your hope, as old as your despair.”

    Know that gender plays a huge role in this, men are revered for getting older, becoming “legendary” and “aging like fine wine”  yet it doesn’t necessarily translate to women in society fully yet. 

    "When it comes to aging, we’re held to a different standard than men. Some guy said to me: ‘Don’t you think you’re too old to sing rock n’ roll?’ I said: ‘You’d better check with Mick Jagger.’"

    Self acceptance and growth

    Why do people tend to become more self-accepting as they age?

    Resilience. As time goes on those moments you thought the world would end or you wouldn’t be okay… you realise well hey I’m still here and I’ve overcome a lot. Not only that you are more true to yourself as opposed to caring so much about what other people think and what’s happening in the mainstream. To be your true and authentic self. You develop the courage to speak your truth and do what you really want to.

    "Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been"

    "It’s good to have a sense of self and to be able to be your own best friend."

    “I’m tired of trying to be young. I don’t want to be young. I’ve been young.”

    What also becomes apparent is that comparison dwindles down as you get older and isn’t as alert in your life as say when you’re a teenager or in your 20’s and 30’s. 

    “At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don't care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven't been thinking of us at all." 

    It becomes more natural to be at peace with yourself than not.

    “Aging is as natural as a baby’s softness and scent. Aging is human evolution in its pure form.”

    “The great thing about getting older is that you become more mellow. Things aren’t as black and white, and you become much more tolerant. You can see the good in things much more easily rather than getting enraged as you used to do when you were young.”

    “Growing old with someone else is beautiful, but growing old while being true to yourself is divine.”

    Physically ageing

    Physical changes are a natural part of aging, and they tell the story of our lives. It’s time to embrace these changes and see them as badges of honor rather than something to hide.

    I’m going to read out some quotes from various women on their perspective of physical changes to the body as life goes on.

    An interesting perspective to consider is one from Eleanor Roosevelt,

    “Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.”

    “There is a saying that with age, you look outside what you are inside. If you are someone who never smiles your face gets saggy. If you’re a person who smiles a lot, you will have more smile lines. Your wrinkles reflect the roads you have taken; they form the map of your life. My face reflects the wind and sun and rain and dust from the trips I’ve taken. My face carries all my memories. Why should I erase them?”

    “In interviews, the first question I get in America is always: ‘What do you do to stay young?’ I do nothing. I don’t think aging is a problem...Yes, my face has wrinkles. But I don’t find it monstrous. I’m so surprised that the emphasis on aging here is on physical decay when aging brings such incredible freedom. Now what I want most is laughs. I don’t want to hurt anybody by laughing — there is no meanness to it. I just want to laugh.”

    “I don’t relate to a 26-year-old model. I don’t want her life. I don’t want her face. I don’t want her experience. I’ve earned my life. I’ve earned my wrinkles. I have been through so many highs and lows, and there’s a sweetness that starts to emerge from that, from having lived, from being wise, from being humble, from loving and losing and all of this stuff.”

    “Listen, the best advice on aging is this: What’s the alternative? The alternative, of course, is death. And that’s a lot of shit to deal with. So I’m happy to deal with menopause. I’ll take it.”

    The zinger?

    When it comes to staying young, a mind-lift beats a face-lift any day. 

    In the end it’s your perspective on the physical changes that occur with age and Eva Longoria reminds us that we do not lose beauty but gain a deeper appreciation for it.

    What is ageless about ageing?

    What is at the core within the fear of ageing comes many universal experiences we have as humans: a fear of change, a fear of losing, a fear of life (mortality itself).

    There is no right way to age.

    Ultimately what is ageless about ageing, is your spirit and soul. Time passes for the home of our soul, the body, the physical vehicle, however your soul is ageless in the sense that it is timeless, eternal and the core essence of you are whether in this lifetime, a past or a future one. It’s why speak of ‘young’ or ‘old’ souls it’s not about the age but the characteristic of someone’s spirit no matter their physical age.

    “I’m happy to report that my inner child is still ageless.

    “Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.” 

    "Aging not just adding years to our total on earth. It is a process of humanisation, of becoming more spiritually and culturally complex. It allows us to get down to business and make life worthwhile. Over the years it is also a blending of valuable experiences.”

    “There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.”

    When I really think about it, I feel the same inside as I did 18 or in my 20’s or now 30. It’s the same consciousness within me with added experience and wisdom. Regardless of the age I am physically. It wasn’t like when I suddenly turned 30 inside completely changed, it’s been shifting and progressing the whole time since birth whether I recognise it or not, whether I am conscious of it or not.

    Phi's personal take on ageing

    “Today is the oldest you've ever been, and the youngest you'll ever be again.”

    Something that has really hit home for me and many clients I share this with is a hypothetical, that this age that you are right now, in 10 years time, if I said to you hey, if you give me everything you own, all your money and possessions, I’ll let you be 10 years younger again … you’d do it in a heartbeat.

    We spend the first part of life wishing to be older and with that also comes different sets of life responsibilities and things we become aware of about life – it’s precious, fleeting nature, how quickly it can start to go… that really ultimately all you wish for is to be fully present and savour right here and right now whatever age you are.

    When I was younger worrying about my school marks and now I am running my own business which isn’t directly related to my university degree yet I remember being 17 and 18 really stressed and studying to make sure I had high enough marks. I mean I got into law school but then ended up dropping out anyway because it wasn’t really in alignment with what I wanted to do in this life.

    Ageing in your twenties into thirty

    I’m now 30 and looking back at my 20’s I was stressing how to figure out my life when really life figured it out for me, this grander plan. My purpose came to me when I was 26 unexpectedly, out of no where yet made sense all at the same time. I enjoyed my 20’s because I lived life to the fullest and I’ve always maintained that I want more life but should it be my time I wouldn’t have regrets, that I would be really proud of myself and how I have lived my life and what I’ve achieved so far. I’m living my purpose and making a difference to this world in my own way: helping others be happier and live their best lives. That is a huge privilege. Even when I wasn’t a life coach, I was making the world a better place by doing my best to be kind and care for the important people and causes in my life.

    What truly matters as you age

    All of that wouldn’t matter if it weren’t for the important people in my life, my friends and family. They, connection, community is what makes life worth living for in addition to the incredible experiences we get to have whether it be as simple as seeing the vivid colours of sunrise or travelling the world being immersed in different cultures. Consciousness is so special I mean I don’t know if animals register the full sensory experience of witnessing a sunrise – the colours, that sensation of awe, of feeling small, of feeling part of something bigger, of feeling magical and divine because what makes a sunset makes us human too.

    I don’t know if anyone ever really does truly have it all and everything figured out no matter what age nor would we want to. That would make life really boring and dull. Life is a dynamic storyline continually changing and shifting to ensure we continue to evolve in this lifetime. It’s not easy, it’s quite the ride. Sometimes sweetness brings the greatest lessons and healing, and other times challenging times are required for that.

    “Every year should teach you something valuable; whether you get the lesson is up to you. Every year brings you closer to expressing your whole and healed self.”

    The core of ageing?

    I think it’s natural to look back when you were younger and think you were happier, but I think it’s different types of happiness and what we really yearn for is the feeling and sense of ease and carefree which is also achievable now whatever age you are.

    Ultimately, what if it isn’t time that ages you? Time is constant, time is something we feel and relate to with regards to our awareness. That maybe it could be something else, “aging” you… your thoughts, your emotions and how you feel, that question in itself may it get you to reflect and explore your internal world to answer that question for yourself…

    Consider yourself in reference to your biological age, chronological age, spiritual age, emotional age, mental age… 

    “How old would you be if you didn’t know old you are?”

    Ageing is a beautiful journey

    Aging is a beautiful, complex journey. To end this podcast in the words of Louise Hay;

    “Know that you are the perfect age. Each year is special and precious, for you shall only live it once. Be comfortable with growing older.”

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  • Yearning for the Past

    Yearning for the past

    Maybe sometimes you yearn for the past. For simpler times. To escape the pain and suffering of today. To relive moments where you felt so happy, free and alive. What a beautiful time it may have been. Don’t lose sight of the now and what’s to come. Perhaps you’re yet to create some of the best memories you’ll remember for a lifetime. Perhaps the universe has only given you a taste of more to come. Visit memory lane but be here now; it’s the now creating your future.

    Getting caught up in the past

    It can be easy to get caught up in yesterday that we forget about here and now.

    Better days are always coming, especially when you’re all in on life as it happens.

    Are you all in?

    love & positivity ✨ phi

    Ready to move forward in your life? Let’s work together through 1:1 coaching or a human design reading 🧡

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  • 75: Your Feelings are Always Valid

    Let’s delve into the layered intricate world of your emotions. In this episode, we’re exploring a fundamental truth: Your feelings are always valid. In a world that often dismisses or invalidates emotions, this episode serves as a reminder that what you experience holds weight and significance. We’ll navigate the nuances of your feelings are always valid and go deeper together.

    Feelings and emotions: astrology and human design

    This episode is all about the feels… and you know I feel deeply with all the Scorpio in my chart (a water sign) and being an emotional authority in human design, I’m designed to deeply feel (in fact 50% of the world are emotional authorities too!).

    It was such a game changer for me learning that I am meant to be what can be labeled as emotional, sensitive or moody (many of which are likely people with an open solar plexus in human design or those who themselves are not comfortable with feeling). 

    Cultural conditioning and emotions

    Growing up with an Asian heritage as Vietnamese and Chinese, I was conditioned to keep my feelings to myself.  Emotions were reinforced as private matters, to be dealt with internally rather than expressed outwardly. This cultural upbringing instills a sense of stoicism and self-reliance, where showing vulnerability was equated with weakness. It was all about saving face, not rocking the boat, maintaining harmony even at the expense of our own emotional well-being.

    Societal conditioning, women and emotions

    It’s not just cultural conditioning either it’s also societal, the stigma surrounding women and emotions often stems from outdated societal beliefs and gender stereotypes. Women have historically been portrayed as overly emotional or irrational, undermining women’s credibility and perpetuating harmful gender norms. It’s judged upon and easily dismissed being attributed to hormonal fluctuations or back to the classic irrational it doesn’t make sense (hello emotions aren’t rational!).

    It’s hard to get it right because if you don’t display your emotions as a woman particularly warmth, you may be labelled as cold, unfeeling or lacking femininity. This double bind creates a challenging dynamic for women, as we feel pressure to navigate a narrow range of acceptable emotional expression.

    The reality is that we we live a world that sometimes dismisses or invalidates our feelings. However I truly believe this is getting better especially post pandemic with the rising awareness, interest and social recognition on the importance of mental health now more than ever. As a coach one are in particular I work on a lot with clients is to support and guide my clients into feeling their feelings. Whilst you don’t have to understand them to feel them, a lot of clients feel better when there can be an understanding of what’s going on beneath the surface which is where  I can come in with subconscious work, intuition and human design to support and assist. 

    Your feelings are always valid

    Accordingly today’s episode centres around the perspective that your feelings are always valid. You always have a right to feel what you feel. The nature of emotions is subjective. It’s the acknowledgement of hello, yes as I’m existing right now, I am feeling this, right here and now in this moment. Your feelings are valid because you feel them. 

    It’s important to remember that validating our feelings doesn’t mean we always understand them or agree with them. Emotions can be complex and nuanced, influenced by a multitude of factors such as past experiences, societal norms, and personal beliefs. However, regardless of whether others understand or validate our feelings, we have the right to honor and respect them.

    Feelings aren't logical or rational

    Whilst feelings aren’t based on logic or facts. That doesn’t take away from the importance and value of them. How we feel isn’t rational, but what we feel is very real as we experience them through our own consciousness. They stem from the depths of our subconscious. They are an integral part of what makes you human. Emotions serve as signals from your inner self, offering information and insights into your needs, desires, and experiences. Your emotions are a reflection of your unique perspective and life journey, and denying their validity can lead to repression and emotional distress.

    Your feelings are always valid but how you act upon them may not be

    It’s essential to recognise that while our emotions are valid, they are not excuses for harmful or destructive behavior. It’s not a permission slip to suddenly act however we want based on how we feel. We have to be conscious and considerate of their impact. Our feelings shouldn’t enable our actions to be unchecked. Instead, we ought to be responsible with how we approach them,
    as signals to inform our choices rather than allowing them to control us. 

    This requires a level of self-awareness and self-regulation, acknowledging our feelings without letting them overpower our sense of reason and consideration of self and others around us. To simply put, it may be helpful to see it from the perspective internally how we feel is always valid but what we do with it externally may not warrant that same validation in proportion to the feeling. 

    It’s helpful to check in with yourself, do you have the power to be mindful of your emotions or have your emotions got power over you? Who is the driving force behind the wheel?

    Taking responsibility for what you do with how you feel

    Taking responsibility for our actions means acknowledging the impact they may have on ourselves and others, even when they stem from valid emotions. Instead of allowing our feelings to dictate our behavior without question, we can cultivate mindfulness and self-awareness to respond to our emotions in a way that aligns with our values and principles. 

    This involves pausing and reflecting before acting impulsively, considering the consequences of our actions, and choosing responses in alignment with our best selves. By taking ownership of our behaviours and actions, even in the face of challenging emotions, we empower ourselves to navigate life with integrity, awareness and authenticity. This is how we use our emotions to cultivate emotional intelligence. It is also a responsibility and empowerment that your feelings belong to you. However they are.

    Visceral reactions to feelings

    It gets more challenging when we have raw feelings that lead to visceral reactions that are hard to manage. It’s like being caught in a whirlwind, where every thought and sensation swirls around us magnitude and force. In those moments, it feels like you’ve lost control. Yet, even in the midst of such turmoil, it’s essential to recognise that you aren’t your emotions or feelings. They are transient states that pass through us, like clouds drifting across the sky. Understanding this can help us weather the storm with greater resilience and clarity.

    Having such feelings can be scary and lead to suppression but it’s got that pressure cooker effect, they will build up until they inevitably explode, causing even more turmoil and distress. As they say the body keeps score too, and it may lead to physical symptoms within the body such as constipation and repression of feelings. In these moments it’s a call to get grounded and to regulate our nervous system such as through breathing.

    Your feelings are always valid but not always true

    More over your feelings are always valid but they’re not always true. Our feelings often arise with thoughts and the creation of emotional narratives. It’s our mind taking liberty and reign to create our conditioning and programming. For example, you feel extremely anxious about an upcoming presentation at work. Your heart is racing, your palms are sweaty, and you can’t shake the feeling of impending doom. These feelings are undoubtedly real to you, but that doesn’t necessarily mean your presentation will be as dire as your emotions suggest.

    In reality, you’ve they’ve prepared thoroughly for the presentation for weeks in advance and have received positive feedback from multiple people. The anxiety might stem from past experiences or a fear of failure rather than any actual indication that you will present poorly.

    How to validate your feelings

    Given all this what are some practices you can introduce to validate your own feelings? At the core of it is listening. So many of us can be scared as to what arises or live in the mindset ignorance is bliss. Meditation is a beautiful way to allow yourself to observe thoughts and feelings within your own body. We shift more into the body with a conscious scan to notice physical sensations whereas journaling is a conscious scan of the mind. From there it can be helpful to express your feelings to process them whether it’s labelling your emotions to figure out the nuances or a creative means like art or dance.

    Ultimately validating your feelings doesn’t mean you have to agree with them or act on them. It simply means acknowledging and accepting them as valid aspects of your experience. This paves the way for greater self awareness and consciousness in your growth journey. If you’re looking to work on feeling your feelings, deepening your emotional intelligence and strengthening your connection to your heart and emotions, I’d love to help! 

    I offer 1:1 coaching session and human design readings to help you. More information available on my website phidang.com or my Instagram @thephidang, please reach out I would love to hear from you. Until next time beautiful soul, love and positivity. 

    Let’s work together through 1:1 coaching and/or a human design reading. 

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  • Life is a divine Miracle

    Questions to your thoughts and beliefs around timelines in life

    Why do you have to get married by a certain age? Why do you have to be at the top of your career ladder by a particular age?

    Do you live based on timelines

    Life is a string of moments, and each moment counts. Where you are right now is where you’re meant to be. Life is a divine miracle unfolding in real time. At any moment, at any chance, life can change.

    Come back to presence, come back to living in there here and now…

    📖 The Great Unlearning by Phi Dang
    🎥 @platoux

    love & positivity ✨ phi

    Ready to make each moment of your life count? Let’s work together through 1:1 coaching or a human design reading: Visit the website links.

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