Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang

  • 27: Normalising Boundaries With Family

    Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 27: Normalising Boundaries With Family

    Family and boundaries. Just because they are your family doesn’t mean they are exempt from boundaries. Boundaries exist to help and protect you in addition to strengthening all your relationships especially and including your family.

    What you'll learn from this episode

    • Why boundaries also apply to your family​
    • How your boundaries are formed as a child
    • What are boundaries
    • How boundaries are formed
    • The influence of family on boundaries – your upbringing
    • The 3 crucial things a life coach wants you to know about boundaries
    • How we recreate familial situations as an adult particularly in romantic relationships
    • Practical family scenarios and their influence on boundaries
    • A practical strategy to understand how your family influenced your boundaries​
    • Boundaries and cultural conditioning​
    • A life coach’s insight on boundaries

    Key Quotes from this Episode

    Boundaries are a beautiful tool - they help you to be true to who you are and be in your full expression in life!

    Phi Dang

    Boundaries apply to everybody not just one particular type of relationship.

    Phi Dang

    People cannot mind read so you can’t expect people to just know boundaries

    Phi Dang

    Featured Resources on the episode

    Show Transcript

    [Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]:

    Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.

    Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.

    My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.”

    My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything.

    Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose.

    This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.

    Ready to grow? Let’s grow!

    [Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro]

    [Episode 27 – Normalising Boundaries With Family]

    Normalising Boundaries With Family Introduction

    Hi beautiful soul!

    Wherever you are right now and whatever you are doing I hope you are doing well and fully present! 

    I’ve actually started listening to more podcasts when I drive, so if you’re driving full focus on the road whilst absorbing this podcast. 

    In fact a few of you have written to let me know you love listening whilst driving too and re-listening at home when you can fully take in everything and write notes. 

    Welcoming a new 1:1 client!

    First of all I wanted to do a huge shout and congratulations to my new 1:1 client S wooohooo beautiful soul I’m so excited to be working with you – my first client from London! In our initial consultation chat S was blown with the breakthroughs and realisations she was having about her anxiety and perspective regarding her career and feeling held back from getting a promotion. She’s now stepped into her power and I can’t wait to see what the next few months working with her will lead to!

    Work with Phi

    If you’ve been tuning in for a while, finding my posts resonating and feel the pull to work with me – please get in touch – I would love to work with you as I have done with my clients to help you overcome your negative self talk and limiting beliefs so you can start living your best life, your next level of growth and evolution! 

    Why boundaries also apply to your family

    Today’s episode is inspired and rooted in my latest Instagram post which I did on Sunday to coincide with Mother’s Day. Part of that post was being really firm with boundaries even for and especially for family members like your mum.

    I want to start the episode with a key insight for you: your family at the end of the day are human just like you. They aren’t on a pedestal, we are all and in one the same. From the same source which you may call God, Universe, Spirit, Source, Infinite Intelligence – whatever resonates best with you. 

    Labels of mum, dad, sibling are what we give to identify the relationship to the person. They are also roles, you are a daughter or son to someone, perhaps even a sibling.

    Just because they are your family it doesn’t mean boundaries don’t apply to them. Boundaries apply to everybody not just one particular type of relationship.

    How your boundaries are formed as a child

    And here comes the journey of navigating and understanding the huge role our families play in the formation and enactment of our boundaries.

    So many things we believe – how we act, what we believe to be true is formed and learnt from birth and as children. 

    We are always consciously and subconsciously absorbing the world around us like sponges that in turn create our programming and conditioning. 

    This can become tricky when you are so accustomed to a certain way and belief that perhaps you may not even realise the situations around you are unhealthy, in fact you think it is ‘normal’ based on your upbringing and conditioning.

    How your upbringing and family influence your boundaries

    Depending on how you were raised – boundaries may or may not be a thing. 

    Simply put, boundaries are what you put in place whether physically, mentally, emotionally, morally, financially and so forth to protect yourself and what behaviour you will allow. 

    As a baseline boundaries are ensuring you are respected. That goes both ways including respecting your own self and being firm and following through with the boundaries you set. 

    Think of them as sliding doors, used when needed. 

    Boundaries are a beautiful tool – they help you to be true to who you are and be in your full expression in life!

    The importance of clearly explained boundaries

    Whilst I’m talking about boundaries, from my experience as a life coach I can’t stress how important it is to clearly communicate and define your boundaries. 

    People cannot mind read so you can’t expect people to just know boundaries – if you tell them clearly there cannot be any confusion.

    How we recreate familial situations as an adult particularly in romantic relationships

    On the topic of family and our boundaries, it is in fact our family relationships which form the foundation and groundwork for a lot of other relationships we go on to have in our lives particularly romantic relationships. We often recreate familial situations in romantic relationships consciously and unconsciously.

    A common example that I identify with is fear of being abandoned. Growing up as an only child, having my parents divorced I had developed a fear of being alone and abandoned. 

    I can recall memories of being left alone in the house and freaking out when my parents just popped out to the shops and of course the heart wrenching memories of my parents splitting up. 

    Being so young I didn’t know how this would impact me and later on I realised I would get very easily and anxiously attached to men I dated. It wasn’t til I did the work I was able to move forward and free myself from this limiting narrative and conditioning. 

    The impact of your family and the boundaries you have

    So back to familial relationships and boundaries here are some ways in which this can unfold in your life.

    Chaotic upbringing

    Perhaps if you grew up in a chaotic upbringing, you desire more security and control and so you exert firm boundaries as a means of power and distilled down for your safety. 

    A healthy boundary for this would be discussing any suspicions of a partner cheating instead of harbouring resentment, making assumptions or making a rule to be able to always check and read each other’s messages.

    No boundaries

    Perhaps you grew up in a household where there were no boundaries, what we know to be as enmeshed families to differing degrees – you spoke to your parents about everything and in turn they knew everything about your business and you knew everything about theirs. 

    A healthy boundary for this would be giving your parents a general update on your dating life but at the end of the day you will date who you desire.

    Spending time with your family

    Perhaps you grew up expected to spend all your time with your family and now you feel very guilty for having your own life and spending time apart from your family. 

    Or maybe it was that if someone felt sad in your family, everyone was expected to feel sad too. 

    Maybe your family played a very active role in your academic or social life – pushing things to be a certain way. All of these things play a role in the formation of your boundaries. 

    A practical strategy to understand how your family influenced your boundaries

    For a moment put yourself in a time machine to when you were younger and you said “I don’t want to” or “I don’t like…” or “why do I have to do this…?” 

    Really as a child we are made to do a lot of things we may not necessarily want to as we are learning and growing – being made to speak to or see certain people, eat particular foods, extra curricular activities before, at and after school.

    How did your family react? That can help inform a lot about the conditioning you have when it comes to boundaries. 

    Know that boundaries develop over time, for example the significant shift occurs as you go from a child to an adult particularly on your independence. Maybe your family dynamics change, divorce happens or new partners in the family happen.

    Boundaries aren't evil or made to hurt anyone

    Boundaries aren’t an evil tool in place to hurt other people or let them down.

    Boundaries are the opposite, they protect you and strengthen your relationships. When you can feel safe and at ease with yourself and the world around you, that benefits everyone.

    Boundaries and cultural conditioning

    Boundaries particularly feel difficult on particular occasions such as Mother’s Day which has just happened or holiday season such as Christmas. Cultural conditioning comes into play – it’s that feeling of ‘you have to spend time with your family’, ‘you should be nice to your family’ and so forth. 

    So how do you overcome this? By getting curious. By stepping back and being the awareness of observer of the stories. Oh this makes sense because “society as a whole expects you to spend time with your family.” 

    Just because it’s a holiday it doesn’t mean you have to talk to a toxic family member again or even spend time with them if it makes you feel upset and uncomfortable. 

    Go deeper and bring it back to the self – do the inner work. Notice your triggers. See the patterns. If you have difficulty this is where someone like myself, a life coach, can help you, or another profession such as a psychologist. 

    Note: Listening to the episode on bringing awareness to your inner child can help and be a good start!

    Your boundaries are yours

    At the end of the day your boundaries exist for you and are created solely by you. 

    Give yourself permission to have boundaries because they are important for your safety and wellbeing. 

    You know yourself best and it’s healthy to do what’s best for you. 

    It’s healthy because in order for you to be your best for those you love, you need to be at your best. 

    Episode closing Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang 27: Normalising Boundaries With Family

    Understand that it is often difficult and uncomfortable to set boundaries again depending on your programming and conditioning. So be patient, gentle, kind and compassionate with yourself. Know that the rewards of having healthy boundaries are worth the uncomfortable journey of enacting boundaries with our loved ones. At the end of the day if your family love you they would want to respect you in the same way that you would want to as well.

    Until next Tuesday beautiful souls for another episode of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, love and positivity. 

    [Episode 27 – Normalising Boundaries With Family Outro]

    Are you wanting to find out more about 1:1 Coaching or working with me? Maybe perhaps you want to know more about me. I’d love to connect with you. You can visit my website phidang.com or connect with me on Instagram @thephidang. Speak to you soon.

    Click here to read more

  • 26 – Toxic Positivity

    Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 26: Toxic Positivity

    Toxic Positivity masquerades itself as positivity when it is the complete opposite. Learn about what toxic positivity is and how you may be doing it without even knowing! I’ll give you tips on how to avoid being the source of toxic positivity, how toxic positivity can make someone feel and what if you are the negative person.

    What you'll learn from this episode

    • What is toxic positivity
    • The human experience
    • Your brain and toxic positivity
    • Toxic Positivity quotes
    • The signs of toxic positivity
    • What happens as a result of toxic positivity?
    • How to avoid being a source of toxic positivity?
    • What if you are the negative person?

    Key Quotes from this Episode

    To be human means to feel on the full spectrum all emotions deeply.

    Phi Dang

    We aren’t robots programmed to only feel a certain way and only have certain types of thoughts.

    Phi Dang

    We have all and will continue to experience negativity in our lives. It doesn’t make you a negative person it makes you a human experiencing negativity.

    Phi Dang

    Featured Resources on the episode

    Show Transcript

    [Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]:

    Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.

    Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.

    My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.”

    My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything.

    Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose.

    This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.

    Ready to grow? Let’s grow!

    [Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro]

    [Episode 26 – Toxic Positivity]

    Toxic Positivity Introduction

    Hello beautiful soul! 

    I am feeling absolute joy and elation after the Manifestation Magic Masterclass, within a few hours those who attended are already receiving signs from the universe – so so exciting. I even got a beautiful message from Carol who said:

    “I can’t stop thinking about the manifestation magic masterclass today, Phi, it was so good! I can’t explain it. It was like walking into a class that I didn’t want to finish! Thank you for so much love for your insight and for being you, all you. Like omg! I mean the energy just no words!”

    Ahhh my heart and soul!

    I’ll be uploading a replay of the class available for purchase this week – so if you’re interested please DM me and I can get that to you even faster.

    So May is Mental Health Month in many countries which confused me because apparently Australia is October but anyway in honour of that and the fact that mental health day should be every day I want to speak about toxic positivity.

    What is toxic positivity?

    Toxic positivity masquerades itself as being positive when really it’s the completely opposite.

    It’s the belief and attitude that no matter what is happening you should always be happy and have positive thoughts.

    Hello! We are humans, we are souls having a human experience.

    To be human means to feel on the full spectrum all emotions deeply.

    We aren’t robots programmed to only feel a certain way and only have certain types of thoughts. 

    This overly optimistic state denies, minimises and invalidates the human experience.

    The subconscious mind and toxic positivity

    In our subconscious minds based on largely social conditioning and our programming that life is black and white.

    Positive = good. Negative = bad.

    This is largely too simple and negates the shades of grey between.

    Toxic positivity quotes

    I love these quotes which encapsulates everything nicely when it comes to toxic positivity.

    “I’d rather be whole than good.”

    Carl Jung

    “Positive thinking is a coping mechanism, an automatic coping mechanism. It is void of life. Feeling and experiencing the realness of what is actually happening are the essences of being alive. Feeling, connecting, reacting to the flow-- this is all living. Positive thinking happens in the head, meanwhile, it denies the heart its authentic, genuine feelings. Not only does it have the potential to rob you of real and deeper connection which is ultimately necessary to living a passionate and compassionate life; but it even has the potential to cut you off from reality itself. A mask that you put on your face, other people's faces, and throw over everything around you. We do not become positive by refusing to be real. We become positive people by really living, really feeling, and really rising above anything that would threaten to sink us. You can't even see what threatens to sink you if you refuse to acknowledge that it's even there. Why did Titanic sink? Someone refused to see the icebergs.”

    C. JoyBell. C

    I've been a source of toxic positivity and you probably have too...

    It’s ok not to be ok. You are not alone and someone out there is wanting and ready to help you.

    I’m known as the positivity queen too and I am certainly not happy all the time. Positivity is my attitude – it’s knowing that no matter what happens I can find the silver lining, I can learn and I can grow which is my lens of positivity. 

    I’ve definitely been guilty of saying things like “it could be worse” or “try be positive” and you may have to.

    Bring awareness to toxic positivity

    I wasn’t aware it could make someone feel worse.

    The beauty of awareness is that you have the power to change.

    You have the power of consciousness!

    What are the signs of toxic positivity?

    • Using blanket positive statements like “good vibes only here” or “be happy”
    • Not listening and validating someone’s experience and jumping to your experience “you’ll get over it”
    • Shaming someone for not feeling happy or positive
    • Avoiding your own emotions that you label negative – for you to see negativity in someone else you must recognise it in yourself otherwise how would you know?
    • Hiding how you truly feel about something

    What happens as a result of toxic positivity?

    People feel ashamed of their emotions and feel invalidated.

    When you are overly positivity and pushing positivity on someone else it can seem insincere to the other person.

    They don’t want to be and show their true selves so they become inauthentic, hiding or creating a persona to the world.

    This can lead to surprising emotions which leads to increased stress in the body which can sometimes even be stored energetically in the body.

    Additionally when we aren’t able to feel our feelings it prevents us from growing. It can keep us stuck in hurt, pain and anxiety. 

    Challenging feelings can ultimately lead to greater growth because we learn from them.

    How to avoid being a source of toxic positivity?

    Be aware and conscious with your language.

    For example instead of saying “you’ll get over it” you can say something along the lines of “It sounds like you’re going through a tough time. I believe in you”. 

    Can you feel the difference in the energy there?

    Substitute “don’t be so negative” to “it’s okay to not be okay sometimes.”

    “Think happy thoughts” becomes “I love you and I am here for you.”

    “It could be worse” to “Life has its ups and downs. How can I best support you?”

    “You shouldn’t feel bad or negative” to “We experience a full spectrum of emotions in life and that’s okay.”

    The influence of social media on toxic positivity

    I would also add to this to remember about celebrities, pop culture and social media that is isn’t 110% real. Most of what we see online is someone’s highlights reel which is carefully curated. It’s not reality and ironically reality TV isn’t real either.

    I’m sure you can relate, I’ve definitely been hurting after a break up and posting photos and stories looking all happy when deep down I was sad.

    Perhaps you’re going through a hard time and post throwback photos or stalk an ex or someone you used to date when really you are nostalgic for past happier times.

    What if I’m the negative person?

    We have all and will continue to experience negativity in our lives. It doesn’t make you a negative person it makes you a human experiencing negativity.

    If the negativity is overwhelming reach out to your doctor, a mental health expert or even a life coach such as myself. I work with many clients to get them unstuck and out of their negative self talk.

    My tips are:

    Allow yourself to be negative because you are human. Bring awareness to your emotions. What is the negativity label about an experience, circumstance or person in your life revealing to you?

    It’s okay to feel a mix of emotions again we aren’t robots set to one default emotion. You can be happy and sad at the same time.

    Episode closing Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang 26: Toxic Positivity

    The goal isn’t to be happy and positive all the time. It’s to be strong and in your power knowing that no matter what happens in life you will be ok and you can handle it!

    Let’s keep the conversation going on mental health to break the stigma and raise more awareness of how important mental health is.

    Until next Tuesday, love and positivity. 

    [Episode 26 – Toxic Positivity Outro]

    Are you wanting to find out more about 1:1 Coaching or working with me? Maybe perhaps you want to know more about me. I’d love to connect with you. You can visit my website phidang.com or connect with me on Instagram @thephidang. Speak to you soon.

    Click here to read more

  • 25: Vulnerability Hangover

    Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 25: Vulnerability Hangover

    Vulnerability. It’s something we are all afraid of. To be fully seen for who we are. So what happens when we muster up all the courage and be vulnerable? In the aftermath and of an exhilarating high comes a vulnerability hangover. Learn more about what a vulnerability hangover is and ways to cope with a vulnerability hangover.

    What you'll learn from this episode

    • What is a vulnerability hangover?
    • Why you feel so anxious about being vulnerable
    • Ways to cope with a vulnerability hangover

    Key Quotes from this Episode

    It’s not to say your vulnerability and bravery aren’t seen or important. It’s just that it’s part of the fabric of life.

    Phi Dang

    Growth isn't easy but damn it looks good on you!

    Phi Dang

    You are strong, you can handle a bunch of sensations.

    Phi Dang

    Featured Resources on the episode

    Show Transcript

    [Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]:

    Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.

    Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.

    My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.”

    My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything.

    Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose.

    This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.

    Ready to grow? Let’s grow!

    [Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro]

    [Episode 25 – Vulnerability Hangover]

    Vulnerability Hangover Introduction

    Hello beautiful soul! Oh my goodness that full moon in Scorpio was intense wasn’t it? I definitely felt it in my soul and bones as a Scorpio and oh boy that moon delivered.

    This full moon for me was all about being vulnerable and I want to share some beautiful lessons with you.

    Vulnerability of creation

    First of all I am feeling vulnerable but super excited about my first live masterclass ever Manifestation Magic happening this Sunday the 2nd of May! We already have 11 beautiful souls inside, if it’s calling you – it’s not too late to join. The link to join is on my website and Instagram bio.

    Vulnerability of being seen

    Secondly, the moon was all about illuminating light to the shadows and something damn scary happened to me. One of my biggest fears came true. I have a corporate job too and I was so nervous and worried about my boss and team finding out. My head built a story of they are going to think you are weird, it’s very personal information I share in my world etc.

    In fact, I didn’t share it out of my own accord – external events happened beyond my control that led to this.

    When I found out I felt absolutely sick to my stomach in fact I couldn’t sleep. When it was out in the open I realised how it was all a giant mind story. My boss and team were super supportive and loving. I am so happy and appreciative and it taught me a lot about how we create our own suffering by worrying about things and creating stories that are not true.

    Everything happens for a reason - trust and divine timing

    Even though I didn’t choose to let it out, I allowed and trusted in the universe and divine timing. I never question, I genuinely always know that everything happens for a reason and the time it is supposed to. Nothing I do can change the force of the universe.

    Take back your power from fear and anxiety by stepping back.

    Watching the stories unfold and know that the stories aren’t necessarily true – they are a by product and creation of an over active mind.

    Who coined the term vulnerability hangover?

    Now I’m on the other side of this emotional journey feeling what we call a vulnerability hangover. I’m pretty sure the queen and expert of shame and vulnerability Researcher Brené Brown coined the term in her TED talk.

    What is a vulnerability hangover?

    A vulnerability hangover occurs when you are opening yourself up to fully being seen. You are all parts courages, brave and strong. 

    The hangover and flip side of all that is feeling scared and worried about being judged and fully seen for who you truly are.

    This sensation is normal – it can feel unpleasant after the exhilarating high of putting yourself out there after working yourself up to.

    Why do you get a vulnerability hangover?

    So why do we fear being vulnerable and get these vulnerability hangovers?

    This goes back to our ancestors. We are built to survive in tribes. 

    We thrive being connecting and belonging to a group – working together, collaborating. This need to belong is actually primal and raw in nature. 

    Think about your ancestors, if you did not have a tribe, life would be very hard. You would have to fend for yourself, protect yourself, hunt yourself etc.

    When we put ourselves out there we may feel different, weak and exposed or ashamed of who we really are which in your mind threatens your safety (safety being belonging in a group). 

    Fascinating right?

    What to do when you have a vulnerability hangover

    So if you’re nursing a vulnerability hangover what is the best thing to do?

    Feel your feelings

    Feel your feelings.

    Slow down and tune in to how you are feeling in your body.

    For me, I feel tight in the chest and jaw. I feel like cowering my shoulders inwards as a protection and defence mechanism. I feel my heart race. This is all okay!

    When you allow yourself to feel your feelings the move through you. I like to think of emotions moving through me as if I am transparent. If I don’t allow them to, the emotions are unable to move and become solidified and stuck in my energy which can be heavy.

    So be light and transparent. Let your feelings move through you. 

    Get perspective, zoom out of your life

    Another tip for you is to get perspective. Zoom out of your life.

    Reverse Narcissism

    So often we can become a reverse narcissist. So what do I mean by that?

    Well we think the whole world revolves around us and people are always thinking about us, watching us, judging us which they aren’t… I mean think about your life and being – you are probably too busy thinking about yourself, watching yourself, judging yourself. You don’t have time to do it for others!

    How to zoom out of your life

    Zoom out and see this in the light of a bigger picture. 

    It feels like this big massive event like the big bang or something when really, so many events and moments happen every single day in life. 

    It’s not to say your vulnerability and bravery aren’t seen or important. It’s just that it’s part of the fabric of life. 

    When you can zoom out you see that this big event in your life could be a little event in the universe and your network.

    A vulnerability hangover means growth

    When you zoom out you see that vulnerability is helping you grow. 

    To expand your world. 

    You become bigger and braver in the world (yay!). 

    So whilst it feels all dramatic like a soap opera, it’s all okay. It’s part of the many twists and turns in life! 

    You don’t grow when you’re comfortable. You grow when you are uncomfortable.

    Extremely uncomfortable.

    Be kind and compassionate with yourself, growth isn’t easy but damn it looks good on you!

    Purpose and vulnerability hangovers

    When I get a bad case of the vulnerability hangover I think about my purpose.

    Why I share parts of myself and bring them to light?

    For me, it’s to help others. To be vulnerable means to be human. We relate with humans not plastic robots. It’s through vulnerability and sharing we connect.

    The whole reason I started my Instagram and life coaching business was to help others. Even if it was just one person. I always think about that one person who reads my Instagram post, watches an Instagram story or listens to a podcast episode. If what I share helps them and makes them realise they aren’t alone then my job is done!

    The root of a vulnerability hangover

    Perhaps you created something and put it out there in the world to help others or uplift others – that is beautiful.

    Perhaps you shared something you’ve never told anyone and it made you feel better, lighter and freer  – that is beautiful.

    Perhaps you dared to go against the status quo and to speak your truth. That makes you a game changer – that is beautiful.

    Your vulnerability, magnetism, energy and power are all so beautiful.

    The purpose of a vulnerability hangover

    The following quote by Marianne Williamson is on of my favourites that I would love to share with you in light of this:

    “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

    Marianne Williamson

    God can be swapped out with Spirit, Universe, Source, One Truth – whatever speaks to your heart and soul.

    Vulnerability Hangover - You are stronger than you think

    On a final note on getting over a vulnerability hangover – don’t forget how strong you are! 

    That you’ve been through much harder and at the end of the day the vulnerability hangover is a bunch of sensations and feelings. 

    You are strong, you can handle a bunch of sensations.

    Episode closing Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang 25: Vulnerability Hangover

    With this all in mind, being vulnerable, open and fully seen I can breathe a sigh of relief. 

    No more hiding, no more anxiety. 

    I’m here on the world stage as me. 

    If I fully embrace and love me, the outside world can’t get to me. Sure I still get the vulnerability hangover but no one can make me feel worse off except me. 

    I stand in my power. 

    Here is to you and your power beautiful soul.

    Until next Tuesday with another episode, love and positivity.

    [Episode 25 – Vulnerability Hangover Outro]

    Are you wanting to find out more about 1:1 Coaching or working with me? Maybe perhaps you want to know more about me. I’d love to connect with you. You can visit my website phidang.com or connect with me on Instagram @thephidang. Speak to you soon.

    Click here to read more

  • 24: Your Emotional Seasons

    Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 24: Your Emotional Seasons

    Just like the physical weather seasons of Summer, Spring, Autumn and Winter, you too will experience a change in yourself and your emotions. Learn more about your emotional seasons in this episode and allowing the natural flow of life.

    What you'll learn from this episode

    • Your emotional seasons

    Key Quotes from this Episode

    Manifestation isn’t luck, it’s intentional energy and magic.

    Phi Dang

    What you resist, will persist.

    Phi Dang

    Just like the physical seasons of weather, Summer, Spring, Autumn and Winter so too will you experience that in your life

    Phi Dang

    Featured Resources on the episode

    Show Transcript

    [Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]:

    Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.

    Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.

    My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.”

    My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything.

    Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose.

    This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.

    Ready to grow? Let’s grow!

    [Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro]

    [Episode 24 – Your Emotional Seasons]

    Your Emotional Seasons Introduction

    Hi beautiful soul, so happy to be with you right now here in this present moment! It’s been a huge week for me if you’re not following me on Instagram already @thephidang where I shared free nuggets of freedom almost daily, I have officially launched Manifestation Magic. Woohoo there’s been such a big build up and I’m soooo happy to be able to share it with you.

    Manifestation Magic

    I have been experiencing such alignment and flow when it comes to manifesting. I’ve manifested my boyfriend, a home by the beach and this year I manifested $10,000 already, discounted gym memberships, hotel upgrades, free food – you name it!

    I wanted to share the magic of manifestation with you because when it comes to manifestation people just label it as oh you’re lucky or that couldn’t happen for me but this is furthest from the truth. Manifestation isn’t luck, it’s intentional energy and magic. I wanted to debunk manifestation for everyone at a really accessible price point (literally less than one third of what you would pay for a 1 hour intensive coaching session with me!) 

    If you’re interested DM me or check out the link in my Instagram bio to learn more. The class is on the 2nd of May and the price will go up for the replay so get in now if it feels juicy and expansive for you.

    Click here to join Manifestation Magic!

    The inspiration for your emotional seasons

    On to today’s episode which was inspired by the launch journey of Manifestation Magic (which already has 10 beautiful souls inside!). I felt so much Spring and Summer launching, so much energy, flow and buzz. Afterwards we can peter out a bit and come into Autumn very much like Sydney is where it’s slowing down and transitioning.

    Coming off the pill

    So they key here is that just like the physical seasons of weather, Summer, Spring, Autumn and Winter so too will you experience that in your life. This also very much came to me as I revealed I am going on a personal journey of coming off the pill because I want to be more inside and in tune with my body. It’s a personal decision, there is no right or wrong either way but I wanted to share this with you because if it helps one person I’ve done my job.

    When I was looking it up I couldn’t find much with real people no sponsors or anything so I wanted to play my part in the collective.

    Flowing with life and your emotional seasons

    So with these seasons it can impact and influence all areas of your life: how you feel, your job and career, relationships, friendships, physical activity, what you eat and so forth.

    It’s about being open and allowing the energy of the seasons to move through us. To not judge and label ourselves for example if you’re in a Winter season – don’t push yourself too hard and force yourself to hustle and do, do, do. Winter is about rest. About taking stock. Slowing down. Nourishing. 

    These seasons in our life Summer, Winter, Autumn and Spring help to anchor and ground us here in the present moment, the only tru moment. Without each season we can’t fully appreciate and experience life. Imagine living in Summer all year long, that would be quite frankly tiring and boring – one hint of Winter and you’ll be shook!

    Allowing the seasons of your emotions

    All seasons and the feelings and emotions you will experience are all valid in their own right. No one feeling or experience is more worthy or ‘good’ as the other. 

    Let them move through you because truly what you resist will persist. 

    What you resist will persist. 

    Life is about flow and allowing the change of seasons. 

    Imagine you physically tried to stop Autumn and all the leavings falling? The cooler weather?

    Impossible no matter how much you tried, so why do the same to your emotions?

    Physical seasons and their impact on your emotions

    It’s also keeping in mind how the physical seasons can influence your mood. It’s much easier to be joyful in the sunshine vs experiencing consistent cool and cold weather when there is less daylight. 

    It’s a proven thing, check out seasonal depression – it truly happens! 

    Physical seasons and their natural changes

    With the seasons we also acknowledge just because its Summer it doesn’t mean it won’t rain and just because it’s Winter doesn’t mean there will be the occasional hot day just like your emotions! 

    Open and fluid. 

    Open and fluid. 

    Are you open to this moment here right now?

    Episode closing Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang 24: Your emotional seasons

    Enjoy the changing seasons, embrace them. This is life, the flow, the fall, the transition, the changes… soak up each and every moment with wonder and bliss beautiful soul.

    I hope you have a wonderful day, until next Tuesday – love and positivity. 

    Click here to read more

  • 23: Aries Energy, New Beginnings

    Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 23: Aries Energy, New Beginnings

    This podcast episode is all about helping you tap into the new moon energy of April 2021 which is in Aries. Aries is first in the zodiac and a fire sign which signals the perfect time for new beginnings, initiation and awakening. 

    What you'll learn from this episode

    • What the new moon in Aries in April 2021 means
    • How you can use the energy of the new moon in Aries in April 2021
    • Free journal prompts for the Aries New Moon in April 2021

    Key Quotes from this Episode

    Aries is ruled by Mars bringing an explosive energy of passion, fuel, fire and bravery.

    Phi Dang

    Can you bring more clarity and focus into your life? What do you truly want, not what you think you should want or have. What do YOU want?

    Phi Dang

    How can you be more bold in your life?

    Phi Dang

    Featured Resources on the episode

    Show Transcript

    [Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]:

    Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.

    Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.

    My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.”

    My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything.

    Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose.

    This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.

    Ready to grow? Let’s grow!

    [Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro]

    [Episode 23 – Aries Energy, New Beginnings: Begins]

    Aries Energy, New Beginnings Introduction

    Aries is the first sign of the zodiac. Given it kicks off the zodiac the energy of this time and moment is fresh starts, new beginnings, renewal, awakening initiation, it is so powerful. Aries is ruled by Mars bringing an explosive energy of passion, fuel, fire and bravery. That hot blood is coursing and pumping to your veins beautiful soul! 

    My life and Aries New Moon energy

    Speaking of how Aries has come into my life it’s all about awakening for me. If you follow me on Instagram you would know the past full moon was very heavy and draining for me so I retreated. I took a week off my business and posting regularly on Instagram. It was so needed.

    Coming soon: A live manifestation masterclass

    Here I am for the new moon and will be launching in the next few days a live manifestation class which I am SO excited about. 9 of you beautiful souls are already in and I appreciate each and every single one of you.

    This masterclass is going to be so juicy and incredible. It’s all about starting! Start manifesting. Start magnetising all you desire. If you can’t wait until I launch it DM me because I’ll put you on the waitlist for when I launch likely this Thursday or Friday.

    I’m so excited because it’s the first time I’m adding a new service to my business enabling me to work with more of you beautiful souls at an accessible investment point. As you know I already offer so much free juicy gems here on the podcast and on my Instagram. I wanted something for a step up for those ready to invest in themselves and get into my world.

    For my beautiful 1:1 clients they automatically get access to what I work on and that’s for you if you’re truly ready to stop playing small. To get unstuck and show yourself, the universe that you are ready to step into your highest power of expansion. To be joyful, happy, at peace, strong and confident. Speaking of which, April and Aries season is a great time to start 1:1 coaching with this momentum of fire and zest so if you’re interested please get in touch! 

    Aries New Moon: New Beginnings

    Coming back to Aries season, it is one of the best times to plant seeds for whatever you desire. To start. To begin. It’s about making things happening.

    Aries encourages us to be fully in the present moment. To give ourselves to it, to us, to life itself. To trust ourselves – the intuition and feelings that arise in our body. To trust our impulses and desires. To come back home to ourselves – our pure, raw, unedited self. 

    In true Aries form, grab life by the horns and get in and amongst life. Have that fire in your belly. That spicy zest for life. Aries is a fire sign! 

    Aries New Moon: Inspired Action

    For those who have been feeling stuck again this energy is here to help you get stuck. To take inspired action. Inspired action is something I will discuss more indepth in my live manifestation class but essentially the energy of where you are coming from truly counts when it comes to taking action. A place of inspiration and happiness vs the icky should and must… 

    What to watch out for in the Aries New Moon

    So what further to note about this energy? Well Aries is fiery so watch out for any impulses, tune in and see if it’s truly what you want. The fire can also involve our ego so watch out for your mind.

    A part of this energy is the truth and confrontation right which makes sense Aries is a Ram. Are you being honest with yourself and others?

    Are you truly going after what you want?

    Are you growing as a person and working on yourself?

    It’s a beautiful time to gain more clarity and understanding of yourself.

    Free journal prompts Aries New Moon April 2021

    I wanted to bring this episode to a close with some practical ways to utilise this fiery energy. Here are some questions for you to think about or even journal about if you so wish.

    What are you hoping to start or begin?

    What are your passions? How do you tap into them? How do you bring them into your every day life?

    What do you want to start?

    What do you want to work on personally for yourself?

    Where can you start making your dreams come true?

    Can you bring more clarity and focus into your life? What do you truly want, not what you think you should want or have. What do YOU want?

    How can you be more bold in your life?

    What can you spark to life? 

    Episode closing Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang 23: Aries Energy, New Beginnings

    The next new moon will be in the sign of Taurus. Signing off today’s episode! I’ll speak to you next Tuesday beautiful soul. Until then, love and positivity.

    Click here to read more

  • 22: Possibility

    Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 22: Possibility

    This is a short, sweet, punchy episode on all about possibility. It’s inspiring, it’s motivating, it is uplifting. There is SO much possibility in your life. Be open to all the ways every single possibility can be unlocked, opened and received in your life.

    What you'll learn from this episode

    • The power and magic of possibility
    • What your mind does to possibility and how it keeps you small, scared and stuck
    • Your life, the universe is like a candy store!! So fun
    • Breaking free from the stuck energetics of your mind

    Key Quotes from this Episode

    There is infinite possibility in this world, in this universe yet our mind likes to keep us stuck, scared and small.

    Phi Dang

    Your mind is designed to help you survive, not to be happy.

    Phi Dang

    You are made of the freaking stars, of everything in this universe.

    Phi Dang

    Featured Resources on the episode

    Show Transcript

    [Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]:

    Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.

    Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.

    My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.”

    My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything.

    Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose.

    This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.

    Ready to grow? Let’s grow!

    [Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro]

    [Episode 22 – Possibility: Begins]

    Possibility Introduction

    Hello beautiful souls!

    I hope you had a wonderful Easter break – goodness I am so tired but I had the best weekend.

    The sun was shining. I got to see and catch up with a lot of friends, soak in the sunshine, ocean swims, fairy floss sunsets it was so beautiful.

    Unexpectedly I had a visit from a friend Lisa who I met in my coaches current program Art of Alignment and oh my goodness it was a pleasure to meet Lisa in person and she’s really inspired this podcast episode which is all about possibility.

    Your mind and possibility

    Juicy juicy possibility!!!

    I love possibility.

    There is infinite possibility in this world, in this universe yet our mind likes to keep us stuck, scared and small.

    Your mind is designed to help you survive, not to be happy.

    Yes, mind freaking blown.

    Your mind is designed to help you survive, not to be happy.

    I’ll let that sink in.

    Your mind wants to protect you so that you don’t take risks but it keeps you small.

    Small, scared and stuck

    Where are you currently feeling stuck, small and scared in your life?

    Where can you let in space, for expansion, for growth?

    This lifetime is like being a kid in the candy store.

    So many different possibilities. Flavours, types, colours.

    Where do you have blinders on in your life that you cant see all the possibilities.

    Can you ask yourself where you can let in more? 

    To awaken to more options, ways of doing things.

    Moving with the universe and possibility

    The universe is always supporting you and expanding you.

    Knowing this, how do you move in the world? How do you feel? How do you act?

    I get so excited thinking about possibilities and my life. My clients and their possibility!

    Like oooooh what if this happens or ooooh it didn’t happen but maybe life has something even better in stall for me, for my clients.

    Something more juicy. More expansive. More fun.

    So really I’m telling you, the world is your oyster.

    The world is your oyster

    The world is always giving you signals, invitations.

    The thing is are you open?

    Are you open to receiving the signs, the invitations, the manifestations?

    Upcoming manifestation masterclass

    Speaking of, I am in the flow and working on my new juicy manifestation masterclass in the background which I will be launching at the end of next week. Super exciting.

    If you’re interested I will have early bird pricing which will mean it is at it’s most accessible right now until I launch it wooo wooooo! If you’re interested get in touch my loves and I’ll send you the link.

    Possibility Inspiration

    A short and sweet episode today.

    Let it marinade.

    Bask in all your possibilities.

    Stop playing small and break your big game.

    Show yourself and the universe what you’re made of, what you’re capable of you beautiful soul.

    You are made of the freaking stars, of everything in this universe.

    You’re the ocean, stars, blood all in one.

    You are magic.

    You have so much potential and possibility.

    The world can’t wait to see and I can’t wait to see too… 

    Episode closing Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang 22: Possibility

    Until next Tuesday beautiful soul, love and possibility. 

    Haha how funny it just  came out like that! 

    Love and positivity.  

    Click here to read more

  • 21: My First Float Tank Experience

    Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 21: My First Float Tank Experience

    I experienced a float tank for the first time at Bondi Junction Massage and Float Centre thanks to a gift from a 1:1 client J. Learn all about my experience as a first timer! What it was like being a float tank. How did it feel to be in a float tank. What happened in a float tank. What I learnt in a float tank.

    What you'll learn from this episode

    • What is a float tank and what are the benefits?
    • What it feels like to be in a float tank
    • My first reaction to being in a float tank
    • What happens in a float tank
    • My key learnings and insights from my experience in a float tank

    Key Quotes from this Episode

    We are meant to be balanced energetically. Like the Goldilocks tale, not too hot, not too cold… just right.

    Phi Dang

    This float made me realise yeah I am just a soul and I get it I’m not my body or mind, I am this soul, this energy and presence behind it all but damn I love that my soul has this opportunity to be here on earth having a human experience.

    Phi Dang

    In the ocean I feel electricity, magic, the life beneath me...

    Phi Dang

    Featured Resources on the episode

    The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 21: My First Float Tank Experience

    You are listening to Episode 21 of the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang: My First Float Tank Experience.

    [Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]:

    Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.

    Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.

    My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.”

    My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything.

    Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose.

    This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.

    Ready to grow? Let’s grow!

    [Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro]

    [Episode 21 – My First Float Tank Experience]

    My First Float Tank Experience Introduction

    Hello beautiful souls, Happy Tuesday! I’m actually recording this on a Monday and I have to say I feel so much lighter. The last week has been heavy and I really felt the presence of that big full moon. From talking some of you and my clients we are all on the same page, oh boy that moon was heavy.

    Resting and Productivity Guilt

    I’m coming out on the other side lighter, feeling more free, shifting energies. It was the first time since I started my business I took a week off posting. I felt myself judging myself. 

    How can you take time off your business, you don’t have staff right now so if you do, who is doing the business? 

    If you’re not posting on Instagram how will you meet new clients? You should be channeling your manifestation class you said you were going to do.

    Working with me - package investments

    I also recently changed my packages, I upped the investments so if you’re interested in working with me my minimum package is 3 months for $3,000 and that felt so right.

     Having less clients which means I have more energy and space for the clients I do have. Being able to fully support them in between sessions and giving them my energy in our calls.

    Judging myself

    Despite this realisation and all of that – Yep, I felt really heavy on the self judgement. Feeling ashamed because I felt like leaning back, being in flow with my feminine energy.

     Stepping back it made me realise how much I’ve been operating in my masculine: hustle, hustle, hustle, plan, plan, plan, organise, organise, organise, control, control, control. It is so tiring. 

    We are meant to be balanced energetically. Like the Goldilocks tale, not too hot, not too cold… just right. Not too masculine hustle control, not too much feminine flow, just right. Each person’s right will be different for them.

    Walking the walk, talking the talk

    It made me take a step back and reveal the path that I don’t just talk the talk, I need to walk the walk. I am a huge advocate with my clients and community on how important it is to rest because resting is being productive. 

    Allowing yourself to disconnect, to retreat, to recharge. It’s so important especially as I learn more about human design. I’m a manifesting generator so energetically I’m truly built for what lights me up, that gives me soooo much energy like coaching clients and sometimes it means I notice what dims my light and burns me out which is posting on Instagram every single day whilst balancing a full time job too. 

    It’s way too much! Stepping outside of my business I realised, in my full time corporate role I don’t just work, work, work, I also take breaks – so why wouldn’t I do the same for my own business?

    Human Design Readings by Phi Dang

    Speaking of human design I’ve started doing a few readings for my 1:1 clients and community and the reception has been amazing. I’m hearing things like that is so me, scarily accurate and it’s so exciting. I’m not openly offering readings yet but you heard it here, if you’re interested DM me and let’s work something out together!

    Personal life update

    Human design aside, I’m so excited as I have a few interstate trips coming up and I can’t wait to rest, play and nourish even more. 

    Doing the script for this podcast, I just had an ocean swim, did some grounding walking barefoot on the grass and here I am in the sun in my bikini typing away. 

    Pure bliss and joy! Being in the ocean gives me pure joy and this quote perfectly embodies how I feel:

    "You are not a drop in the ocean, you are the ocean in an entire drop”

    Rumi

    What is a float tank experience?

    So this finally leads me into sharing my first experience with a float tank, also known as a sensory deprivation tank. Thank you to my beautiful client J, for gifting me with this rare, one of a kind gift.

    Essentially you get in a self enclosed pod where there is no light and you are completely naked floating in water with a tonne of epsom salt. 

    The epsom salt creates such salinity in the water you effortlessly float, no effort required. You’re in the pod for an hour and it’s silent. 

    What are the benefits of a float tank experience?

    It supposedly helps reduce anxiety and stress, create calmness and prompt creative downloads. 

    Some people even have out of body experiences and hallucinate! 

    Go in with an open mind and no expectations is my advice. Be open! Experience it for yourself.

    My first initial reaction to the float tank experience: panic

    So picture this. No visual stimulation. No audio stimulation. No sensory stimulation. It’s just you.

    So I’m still processing it all but wanted to share what came up with you so far.

    At first I absolutely panicked. I should share with you I used to be claustrophobic and I still don’t enjoy small spaces. The thing is it’s not super tight like you have enough space to put your hand up and still not touch the top of the pod. What got me was my mind.

    At first I felt myself hearing the stories oh my goodness what are you doing, you’re going to be trapped what if you can’t breathe and die. Lol yeah my mind went there. 

    As a result I was flailing about, I ingested the water which tasted disgusting and I got this super salty water in my eye it stung (but not as much as that freak accident I had at home where I squired hand sanitiser into my eye now that was OUCH).

    Float tank experience: Mind stories

    So really my mind and it stories made me panic. 

    As I noticed that it dissipated into peace and calm. 

    Then it would come up in a different way particularly the air. 

    Maybe it was the place I was in but there was no fresh air just my air circulating in this pod and it felt heavy. 

    I found it really hard. I felt so trapped and identified with my mind. 

    Then I would have moments where I completely melted and became one with the soft, silky water. Where is my hand. Where is my foot. Oh I just am. 

    Float tank experience: Journey from the mind to the body

    I’ve been on this journey of really getting back into my body after being so identified with my mind and masculine energy for so long. 

    This float made me realise yeah I am just a soul and I get it I’m not my body or mind, I am this soul, this energy and presence behind it all but damn I love that my soul has this opportunity to be here on earth having a human experience. 

    I get to truly feel so much. I craved the wild ocean. 

    In a float tank it felt sterile, forced and it was pure quiet. 

    In the ocean I feel electricity, magic, the life beneath me and contained in the water – the water itself, small fish, seaweed, micro-plankton who knows what else is in there.

     The subtle white noise when I float on my back. 

    Feeling myself rock back and forth as I lie on top of the waves of the ocean.

    Float tank experience: I feel so alive!

    I was like I AM SO LUCKY TO BE ALIVE AND HERE. 

    Thank you thank you. Of course the universe sends me a message when I saw on a post by a beautiful soul I look up to Kathrin Zenkina who you may know as manifestation babe and she spoke about how crazy it is that all of us our souls if you believe in that chose to be here in 2020 and 2021 when there has never been such a heavy energy. 

    We are here to be the light. It be resilient. To love one another through these crazy times of a global pandemic, floods, bushfires, racial tensions, horrible mass murders. How bad ass are we? Love.

    Would I do a float tank experience again?

    As for float tanks, I’m sure I will be back no doubt and have a completely new experience for that I can’t wait. 

    What's coming up in the world of life coaching?

    As for what is coming up I am out of hibernation and will be working on a manifestation masterclass which is an accessible access point to working with me, I’ll be releasing early bird, pre sale pricing before landing on it’s final price which I am vibing at $111 currently. Who knows it might change. 

    This is the most accessible I have been for a while so if you’re interested please DM so I can put you not the waitlist with other beautiful souls. I can’t wait for us to all be inside this juicy masterclass to do with all things manifestation basics and making manifestation work for you. 

    My 1:1 coaching availability

    As mentioned my investments for coaching continue to rise base on demand and I am only one soul. I only take 1:1 clients who I believe I can help and give my energy and space to.

     If you’ve been thinking about it or on the fence and feeling called, now is the right time to get in as I will increase the investment again but who knows when. DM me, and let’s see if we are a match!

    The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 21: My First Float Tank Experience Close

    Have a lovely week beautiful soul, speak to you next Tuesday. Love and Positivity. 

    [Episode 21 – My First Float Tank Experience Outro]

    Are you wanting to find out more about 1:1 Coaching or working with me? Maybe perhaps you want to know more about me. I’d love to connect with you. You can visit my website phidang.com or connect with me on Instagram @thephidang. Speak to you soon.

    Click here to read more

  • 20: TJ Shana

    Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 20: TJ Shana

    The first guest ever on the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, is TJ Shana

    TJ is a personal growth champion. He is all about inspiration and motivation to help you take the first step towards being your best self.

    What you'll learn from this episode

    • How TJ Shana manifested this collaboration opportunity with me! 
    • TJ Shana on what has made him grow through life – loss and death​ particularly an insight into Zimbabwean culture and sayings.
    • TJ Shana on his mission to help people take the first step to being their best selves
    • TJ Shana on experiencing depression​
    • TJ Shana on grief and his journey with grief
    • TJ Shana on feeling your emotions and men’s mental health
    • TJ Shana on how to best support someone going through a tough time​
    • TJ Shana on manifestation, law of attraction, spirituality and energy 
    • TJ Shana on how he came from Zimbabwe to Australia​
    • TJ Shana on staying connected to his family overseas
    • TJ Shana on what COVID-19 has taught him
    • TJ Shana’s favourite books
    • TJ Shana’s thoughts on motivation
    • TJ Shana on self love for males and how he gives himself love
    • TJ Shana shares the best advice he was given

    Key Quotes from this Episode

    Energy knows no bounds

    TJ Shana

    One of the things that drives me is the fact that I am going to die.

    TJ Shana

    Your emotional life is like a house.

    TJ Shana

    Featured Resources on the episode

    The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 20: TJ Shana

    Please note the following transcript was automatically generated.

    [Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]:

    Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.

    Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.

    My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.”

    My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything.

    Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose.

    This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.

    Ready to grow? Let’s grow!

    [Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro]

    [Episode 20 – TJ Shana Begins]

    An introduction to TJ Shana

    Phi: Hi, beautiful souls. It’s so good to see you again. Well I mean hear you again. Or you can hear me. Today, as I mentioned on the last episode of the growth or podcast, I have a very special guest with me. His name is TJ. He’s the first guest ever on this podcast. I have been dying for him to come on. He is so awesome.

    We actually crossed paths on Instagram. When I saw his posts, they really resonated with me. He is such a beautiful human with such a beautiful soul. I can’t wait for you guys to get to know him and I’m still getting to know him. I think he’s awesome. So I’m going to bring him on, so please everybody welcome TJ.

    He is known for helping you take your first step in the path to self-growth. He’s a personal growth champion, TJ, thank you so much for coming on the podcast. 

    TJ: Hey, how you doing? Thank you for having me. Thank you so much for having me. 

    TJ Shana on manifesting this collaboration opportunity

    Phi: I’m happy to, we had such a good Instagram live and TJ shared this really funny story because I’ve been talking about manifesting and I wanted to hear it from TJ. Could you please share that story about how you came across me and working with me. Cause I think it’s just such a cute and funny story. 

    TJ: Here’s the thing it’s weird, right? Like the world, the world works in weird ways. Um, the first ever time that I saw, um, any of your posts, I don’t even remember what the post was, to be honest.

    I remember how it felt and that’s that, you know, you know how we hear a lot of people say, people don’t care as much how, what you do as opposed to how you make them feel. That was me in that moment. I remember how I felt and I remember thinking to myself, I’m like, you know what, she’s going to be my friend, number one, number two, I’m going to collaborate with her.

    And, you know, I’m, you know, I’m just going to feed as much, um, feed from her energy as much as possible because, you know, I, I really, really did feel your energy and. This was, this is way before, you know, we started talking and it just, it just happened very organically. And I’m very, very thankful. I think that’s one of the reasons why I’m always so excited.

    Um, not only about your posts and listening to your podcasts, but I was also very excited about being here because this is literally, you know,

    Phi: Here it is, it is a testament to you. Thank you so much for your kind words. It’s so true. I agree with you. You never can remember things, but you’re always remember how you feel. And I think the great thing is when I see your posts, I get very inspired to create my own content. I feed off your energy and it makes sense.

    Phi Dang x TJ Shana Instagram Live on Self Love

    TJ Shana on what has made him grow through life - loss and death

    Phi: We’re such energetic beings. So I would love for you to share with everyone, on the podcast: a bit more about yourself and, as you know, the name of the podcast is the Growth Through It Podcast. perhaps some experiences that have really happened in your life that have made you grow and become who you are today right now.

    TJ: Okay. Um, I think the biggest thing that had a huge impact on my life was firstly, the, the debt, the, you know, the passing on of my dad, that’s when it was involved. Six years old and you know, being kids, you don’t understand it. You don’t understand what’s going on. And in my culture, Um, I grew up in Zimbabwe and our culture.

    We don’t show a lot of emotions, particularly men, ladies it’s okay for them. But for us men, we are told to be strong. We are told to suck it up and just move on with life. And so this, this is, you know, this is what happened in the, I just had to internalize it. Be strong for, um, for my mom and my younger brother, cause my mom wasn’t dealing with it very well.

    So I had to, as a kid, try to, you know, be a comfort and, you know, be there for my younger brother as well, who did not understand what was going on. So that had a very big, big impact in shaping how, um, how I function, how I interact with the people it’s. Uh, you know, affected how I see life as well. And, you know, the second biggest thing that affected my life was  my mom two years ago.

    And so now you see that, you know, dealt with grief from two very different angles, one as a kid and one as an adult and as a very two very different things. And. You know, I felt a lot of guilt about that because when my mom passed away, I hadn’t seen it in close to like 10 years. And there’s lots of stuff that we hadn’t resolved.

    We were meaning to resolve it when I was going to fly over to South Africa and see her. But she passed on before I had the opportunity to get there. So there is so much that was just placed on me. Yeah. And I was like, Oh, you know, oldest pain, all this, um, grief. And I didn’t know what to do with it. And so that’s one of the reasons why I, um, you know, started the, you know, the Instagram page because I was using it as an outlet because one of the things I believe sometimes in order to receive, you need to give.

    TJ Shana on what has made him grow through life - having experienced depression

    TJ: I’m hoping other people and, you know, you know, as a result, it comes back to me, you know, sewing and reaping. So that’s one of the biggest reasons why I started the page. Another reason why I started the page is, you know, I I’ve experienced depression in my life as well, about six years ago. And you know, I got out of that then God, but someone else does it have, um, the.

    The restraints who go through what they’re going through and they just need someone to help them out. And that’s the reason why I am such a big believer in helping people take the first step, because the first step for a lot of people is the most important step. It’s it’s make or break. Some people fail to take the first step and then it leads to very, very bad situation.

    So for me, I’m all about the first step and then point people in the right direction. Like, Hey, you know, uh, Is content from this creator or this book, or, you know, I believe in pointing people in the right direction. I’m just a signpost. So that’s my question. I love that TJ sign price is so important because people are looking for that.

    TJ Shana on what has made him grow through life - grief

    Phi: And I love that you turned your experiences to help others. I think that’s such an amazing thing that you do and give people that first step, because it is the hardest. So if anyone’s listening. The first step is always the hardest, but it’s so rewarding and there’s people out there that can help you.

    And I think one thing that really connects us together is experiencing grief, right? We, I mean, you’ve lost both. I’ve lost my dad and you’re actually wow. You know, having that experience as a kid and as an adult, I would love for you. Um, if you feel comfortable to kind of share maybe like two things that you really learned from your experiences with grief.

    TJ: I think that the first thing is it’s important to feel what you need to feel. Right? Grief, grief is different for different people. Um, that we have a saying in and back home where, where we say, um, and I’m translating it roughly hope it translates properly into English, but we say, uh, grief has no.

    Practice match. You cannot practice a quiz before you actually got through. And it’s one of those things it’s going to be, you know, it’s going to be very different for everyone. Some people are going to experience anger. Some people are gonna experience guilt. Some people are going to experience intense sorrow, but that being said, when you allow yourself to feel that also remind yourself that it’s also important to.

    To grow through it as the name of the podcast is, you know, I’m a very big believer in that because I have seen, um, I have seeing the effects of not breathing properly, um, to my mom. My mom was a great month, phenomenal woman, you know, she’s a very strong woman, but one of the things that really affected my younger brother and I was, she.

    Her grief, uh, stopped her from being able to. Be in the moment with us as her children, you know, and, you know, I, I believe maybe just because, you know, she didn’t have, you know, as a mini, as much of a support system or she didn’t have, you know, some of the right tools, but there are people out there that can help.

    If you are going through grief, be willing to accept, help from other people. It’s not your journey alone to go through you. Um, it’s, it’s a shared experience so that those are some of the things that I’ve learned through the grief. Yeah, thank you so much. I really felt the emotion and the loving saying and what you were saying.

    Phi: And I think that, yes, you’re not alone, like even us, right? Like we have a shared experience and I’m showing you went through is I felt like I was alone. I’m like, no one knows what it feels like, but they do. And they’ll always be connection points with people, whether that’s grief or something else, like soccer or food or something, there’s always something to connect us.

    TJ Shana on feeling your emotions, men's mental health

    Phi: And I kind of want to. Pull some pieces of what you said together, especially when it comes to feel your emotions. I agree with you. You have to feel them. And I wanted to get your perspective as a man, because I know, you know, I’m very passionate about men’s mental health as well. And I’d love to hear your perspective on men’s mental health and what you kind of have to say around the topic.

    TJ: Men’s mental health, um, men as men, we’re very simple creatures and yet very complex as well. Uh, in the sense that, because we are. Society has trained us to internalize everything and I’m still on this journey. So I’m, I wouldn’t say I’m an expert. I am, I’m also learning. Um, but one of the things that I’ve noticed is that as men, we need to be more willing to open up, you know, um, what we, the things that we deem as weakness, aren’t really weakness.

    Sometimes it’s okay to cry sometimes it’s okay to feel. A type of way, you know, and a lot of, a lot of us men are dealing with stuff and, you know, we don’t speak out and it results in so much, um, so much, uh, Pain. I don’t know, not only in pain, but we acted out, we use the oldies, bring these mechanisms that aren’t that healthy.

    You know, you find, um, some guys ended up, you know, uh, indulging in too much alcohol or promiscuity and all of that things because we are trying to find a way to heal and we just don’t know how to, you know, how to do it. So I think that, you know, as men need to learn to open up and as a society, we need to get to a point where we allow men to say their stories, you know, and remove that stigma that comes with, um, allowing yourself to be vulnerable.

    TJ Shana on how to best support someone going through a tough time

    Phi: I agree with you. I think it’s really important to fight the stigma for men, for everyone really, but in particular men with all the alarming suicide rates out there, and I wanted to get your perspective, you know, how do you best support someone, whether it’s a man or a woman or somebody, you know, that you feel like they’re going through a tough time?What advice would you give them? 

    TJ: I think the first thing before we even get to the advice is. Making them feel heard. That’s one of the biggest, um, challenges that for us, men that we experience is that when we, because it takes a lot to get to the point where you actually say what’s on your heart, but.

    Feeling heard, feeling heard. It’s going to make the difference between between going forward with being vulnerable or closing that cup because closing that cup is more comfortable for most guys. Right. So I think feeling heard is the most important part. So for me personally, when I am, when I’m speaking to someone, I think the first thing that I’ll do is, you know, Make them know that this is a safe environment and my energy has to match that and say, you know what?

    We are here to help each other. It’s a journey. It’s okay for you to go through what you’re going through, um, and actually wants to be better and feel, you know, so I think that’s the first thing. And then the second thing is that, um, I think it’s important to, to let it all out. You know, um, identify, I, I spoke, uh, when you’re alive, just now I, we talked about, um, we talked about a house, how your life would be emotional life is like a house where you’ve got all these closed rooms and sometimes you can’t open these rooms.

    You don’t seem to have the keys to these rooms. A lot of the times what happens is that we live in these houses, these emotional houses that. Uh, dirty and be crying over that spilt milk. We cry over that trauma, but we’re not taking the initiative to clean up that mess, you know? And I think the thing about it is when you open up and when you let it all out, you start, you’re going through the process of cleaning out that whole mess.

    And I think it’s important to, you know, just. You know, allow yourself to let it all out. Even the things that you think are uncomfortable, even things that you feel are, um, uh, embarrassing or shameful, it’s important to let it all out. And then the healing can start from there, you know? Yeah, I love that you brought that up.

    Phi: I was actually going to ask you to share that analogy cause we really bounced off that in the Instagram live and it was kind of like what the book I was telling you about how trauma is stored in your body and running on your analogy about the house. Like yes. Maybe you didn’t cause the room to be closed because most often it’s like programming or based on your upbringing, but you always have the monster cage.

    It’s up to you, whether you want to open the door, you know, tidy it up or whatever, you have so much more power than you think. And I thought it was really interesting that you mentioned that you kind of want it to be an energy match when you are listening to somebody to make sure that they are heard.

    TJ Shana on manifestation, law of attraction and energy

    Phi: And I’d love to, um, get your take on it because I’m quite a spiritual being. I think people say I’m in the “woo”, cause I really love energy and it’s one of those things people can’t explain sometimes. So I would love to know your perspective on energy and things like that. You know, like whether it’s manifestation law of attraction, feeling other people’s energies, what’s your tech TJ.

    TJ: Okay. Um, I’m also a very spiritual person. Um, And the, one of the things I believe about energy, energy knows no bounds. I was thinking about this. Um, I think last week when we discussed, you know, coming on the podcast, I was thinking about how I was just reflecting on how. I thought about this. I was like, you know what, I’m going to be on live with fi and we’re going to have a good time.

    We’re going to vibe. This is before we actually, you know, we actually discussed that. And the reason why I was thinking about it was like, Oh, okay, I will any of these in Sydney and underplay thousands of miles away, but we. Because the energies are aligned, it’s we connect for some reason, you know? Um, I’m, I’m by no means I’m not an expert on AGS or anything like that, but I do believe that, um, we have the ability to lift up the vibrations in our own lives or within our own surroundings and will affect.

    You know, not only, um, the people around us that can affect someone else that you connected connected from, you know, another part of the world. I also do believe in the law of attraction, uh, scripture calls it the law of faith. You know, I believe it’s just the same thing. Um, because at the end of the day, We have the ability to speak certain things.

    They become. Uh, I was reading a book. Uh, I forget who it is. I’ll tell you. But later on, if I remember, and, um, at the end of the day, because the world is made out of. Vibration and energy. Right? And so when we speak, we are letting out energy. We are, we are creators, we’ve got the ability to create from our mounts.

    And that’s one thing that I’m a very big believer in our speak, certain things. And some, some things have taken years and years and years to manifest, and some things have taken weeks, but at the same time, I believe that it’s all built up, but then that being said, there has to be action that goes along with it, because you can’t say I embody this energy, but the way that you act is really different.

    TJ Shana on how he came from Zimbabwe to Australia

    Phi: So yeah. That’s how it is. Just how I see it. Yeah, I definitely agree with you there. Like that’s what we say is inspired action. You can’t just like wish in a way you kind of have to also compel yourself to do things. And I love what you said about energy having no bounds and, you know, cause you’re in Perth, I’m in Sydney, we’re on the same continent.

    And I mean, I would love for you to share how you came from Zimbabwe and ended up in Perth, Australia?

    TJ: Well, the way I came to it’s weird because that was that’s another. Whole situation with manifesting because what happened was after my dad passed away, one of the one, one, one month, the people that took a father role is my dad’s younger brother.

    And I lived with him for, you know, throughout high school and whatnot. And, you know, he was working in Zimbabwe. Uh, you know, if you are, if you do know about some, about where the economy tax, uh, in the early two thousands, and he was looking for a job. And I remember speaking to him and I was like, Hey, why not try Australia?

    And it’s like, nah, he wasn’t, he wasn’t too keen on that. And. I remember because she didn’t like, I think we went for like two years back and forth about that. And I was like, yeah, why not? Because for some reason in my heart, I felt that, you know, Australia was going to be home at some point because I envisioned it.

    I don’t know how, yeah. It just, it just happened unconsciously. And one day he just found a job. It just all happened. And then I came over with him and the rest is history, you know? So that’s, that’s how I wound up here. 

    Phi: That’s amazing. And I think like something from me, cause I was born in Australia, but I have a Vietnamese Chinese background.

    So I was thinking about like, how do you, how does culture like from Zimbabwe kind of play into your life, do you feel very connected to back home? Do you feel like you’re more Australian? I just always get so curious about other people that have different heritages and ways of life and where they’ve lived.

    I find it so fascinating. 

    TJ: I think it’s weird because one of the ways, how I see I’m more. Uh, I, I do definitely see, uh, Australia and particularly at home. I absolutely love the city. I love the fact that I love where I live because it’s so for the beaches are gorgeous and whatnot, but more so, I think. It’s more about family than everything else.

    I think cause my, one of my biggest values is family and I’ve managed to create a lot of relationships, both here in Australia and back home living. The only person who is in Zimbabwe at the moment is my younger brother, everyone else’s in other parts of the world. Um, but in terms of where I feel rooted because I, because I also do believe in energy, I think that.

    If I’m to move into, go to any part of the world, I think I’d be fine because I somehow feel connected with the people I’m connected to too, if that makes yeah. I love that. No, that makes sense. For sure. Yeah. So for example, like, uh, you and I, you know, we’re friends. Uh, but I feel connected with you. I feel like, you know, we, you know, we get bouncing off each other’s energies.

    Um, I’ve got family in Swazi land. I’ve got family in different parts of the world, but the, it, the people that I’ve got a strong bond with. You know, they, um, they act no matter where, so that’s, I see, that’s so nice and really comforting for those listening, who aren’t in Australia. And it’s very affected by COVID-19, which has kind of happened and all of that.

    And I think that’s so important to take note of, and I wanted to see what your like, kind of learnings have been from the global pandemic and how it’s impacted your life. Well, I think to begin with, um, the biggest symptom to me for, um, with regards to the pandemic is grad student. Firstly, because of the fact that I happened to live in Paris, I’m very lucky to be here.

    And we haven’t had as much of an outbreak as other parts of the world because Pratt is so isolated. The parents, they say we are the biggest, we’re the most isolated big city in the world, you know, so we haven’t experienced much of the shutdowns as compared to other people. And I’m very, very grateful for that.

    Um, but that being said, I think that has, uh, taken away a lot of the things that we, um, a lot of things that really don’t matter as much, um, uh, in terms of, you know, when you get to a point where you are facing or, um, you are polygamous. You are facing a situation where you have to confront your own mortality. A lot of the things that you think matter, don’t matter as much, you know, you realize that, you know, money isn’t as important as we think it is.

    We realize that looking good isn’t as important as it is, realize that family and relationships are actually much higher on the totem pole than, you know, then they should, then, then, you know, then we have been placing them. So, um, I think that that separation from each other has connected a lot of people much more in certain ways, because we’ve realized how important human connection is.

    So for when, when, when the world opens up in different parts of the world, we will appreciate human interaction and people much more. So for those that, um, are, uh, Uh, uh, conscious of that fact, they’ll allow the set themselves to, you know, enjoy the moment when they are interacting with people and not just, you know, be drones out there in the world, you know, it will allow us to connect much more.

    TJ on gratitude and mortality

    Phi: That’s just how it is. Yeah. I love that. And I started, remember you did a poster in Christmas that really inspired me. I think you were talking about how we should be grateful all year round, not just during Christmas. And that really inspired me. And something else I’ll add is when you talked about mortality and it’s like, yeah, it is super confronting.

    Right? I think even people listening to our podcast, it can be confronting because we’ve both experienced grief and death. And one thing I learned from my experience with losing my dad is I’m so grateful to be alive, like gift of life. Like you just think, especially, um, I lost my dad when I was 19. I was like, Oh, like, I didn’t know, people.

    You know, I thought we will live forever, like invincible, especially our parents. And I’m like, what, what do you mean? Like, he didn’t get sick, he ain’t get cancer. And, you know, I was wondering what you kind of like maybe, um, a taker that you got from your experience from your parents or your family. Like what have you kind of learned about whether it’s like mortality or life itself?

    TJ: I know very, very deep question, but something I’m very curious about. Very, very important question in blockchain. An interview by Gary V at some point, um, a few weeks ago. And, and the, the guy asked him, he said, what, what gives you drive every day? And he says, you know how Gary B, he is very blunt to read. One of the things that drives me is the fact that I am going to die.

    Right. And he’s accepted. That fact is accepted the fact that I’m not going to be here forever. So I might as well make the most of. You know, most of the time that I have, and that’s just how I see things as well. Like I have gotten to the point where I’m getting much have been much more, um, I’ve accepted the fact that I’m not going to be here forever.

    And with the time that I have, I have to make sure not only that I enjoy my life, but I impact people as much as possible. You know, I make a positive impact in people’s lives. So that could be, you know, I don’t have to be, um, uh, Nelson Mandela in order to affect people’s guns in order to affect people’s lives, it can be your family.

    You know, it could be your friends, but wherever you go be the kind of person who brings, brings the like Brendon Burchard says, he says, bring the joy. Right? So I haven’t learned to. Embody that to bring the joy, bring that positive energy because I’m not going to be here forever. And if there’s anything that I want to be remembered for, it’s for helping people be better people, you know?

    TJ Shana's favourite books

    Phi: Thank you for sharing that. Cause I know it can be quite. Yeah, personal and things like that. And I want to throw it back because we just did a live. And you asked me my three favourite books. I would like to ask you the question now.

    What are your favorite three books? 

    TJ: Whoa. Okay. Three books that have changed my life three. Okay. I think number one. Rich Dad, Poor Dad. That’s my absolute favourites. Finance book. Um, it has taught me a lot in terms of, you know, even just personal finance. Um, and it’s made me realize that the way I interact with money is more an issue of the mind than the money itself I mind is going to affect, you know, my spending habits, et cetera, et cetera.

    The second, my second favourite book was, Can’t Hurt Me by David Goggins. I don’t know if you’ve read that one. That’s an absolute, if you haven’t, if you haven’t, I suggest you actually get the audio because audio is really, really good. So it talks about all these traumas that she has gone through in his life.

    And this guy is. Uh, he came from a very poor background and he eventually became a mistaken and, you know, he just Rose up through the ranks. He’s faced so much and he has come up much stronger. So that’s that’s number two. And my third favourite book is Atomic Habits. Which I’m using it for the third time.

    And I think the biggest takeaway from that book is the statement that James clear says. He says we don’t rise to the level of our goals before to the level of our systems. Oh, that’s a good one. And that has changed. Like when I heard that for the first time I’m a mind was blown and it’s one of those things that.

    Every single time that I have taken my eyes off the system and put my eye only on the goal, I’ve realized that I don’t succeed as much or I film. But when I focus on the system, I go much, much further. And I think that’s a teaching that a lot more people need to hear about, you know.

    TJ Shana on motivation

    Phi: Can you share a bit more on that and kind of like obviously us being in the spheres of personal development, growth and spirituality, what’s your take on motivation? I think that’s a really hot topic for everybody. 

    TJ: Well, what’s my take on motivation. I think the motivation is I like the way Les Brown puts it.

    He said it could be less Brown or. I’m not sure, but anyway, say, uh, motivation is one of those things that, um, you do you, how does he put it? It’s like taking a bot needs to do it every day. If you, if you stop doing it, if you stop partying for one or two days, you can get away with it. But eventually it’s going to show motivation needs to motivate yourself daily.

    But that being said, I think that motivation within, within, you know, by itself, Isn’t going to take you as far. I think, uh, motivation has to be connected with an intense, um, passion for life. You know, that you love, it’s easier to be a motivational quote, motivated to do those things that you know, that you need to do.

    Um, regardless of whether the boring or exciting or whatever, you know. So I think that at the end of the day, I think for me, the bigger thing than motivation, it’s just having a passion for life, having, uh, doing things that you love, you know, cause a lot of people try to be motivated to do. The wrong thing, you know?

    Um, and by the wrong thing, I mean, you know, you are, uh, going after a goal that you’re not passionate about it. It’s not your life, you know? So at the end of the day more with your why you’re more likely to, you know, to keep on. Keep on going. Yeah. 

    Phi: Yeah. It’s so true. Cause sometimes I ask my clients, I’m like, do you actually want this?

    Or is this what you thought you wanted? And maybe you’ve changed your mind, but you’re still chasing it because you think you have to, or you should, or because your family wants you to, or your partner or whatever. So I thought that was really interesting. And I guess thinking about that, like my clients experience, so some of my clients are male.

    TJ Shana on self love for males

    Phi: I know that we just spoke about self love on our Instagram live. And I would love to hear your perspective as a man on the concept of self-love, because I think people bucket, self love is a very girly and feminine energy, which I would agree it’s feminine energy, but it doesn’t mean it’s not for men too.

    TJ: Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Self-love yeah, it’s a, it’s one of those things we think, uh, when many of you, the word self-love, you know, we think a bubble box and candles and pets, flower petals in the bath and that sort of thing, but it doesn’t really have to be there. They can be though, and it’s a great thing, you know, but that being said, I think self-love has to be the self-love is one of those things that have to be very personalized.

    And I, I gave you an example. One of the ways I practice self-love is I will throw on a, I actually have a record collection, so I’ll play the old Michael Jackson thriller album and just dance by myself in the house. No one there to watch me with my really, really bad dad. And I enjoy myself. Right? So for someone else that could be fishing for someone else to be going, you know, playing golf for someone else, it might be.

    It doesn’t really have to be anything that you particularly good at, you know, but it’s, it has to be something that makes you feel as though it makes you not only feel good, but it makes you feel as though you’ve had an outlet. You know, I have a friend of mine who’s, uh, one, one way in which he practices self-love is boxing.

    You know, he, you know, he goes into the rain spars with someone and, you know, And that’s it. He enjoys himself, you know? So I think that at the end of the day, self love doesn’t have to be, um, we don’t have to put it to within this container of it has to look like this at the end of the day, it has to be more an issue of what works for you and do what doing what works for you.

    Phi: So, yeah, that’s how I see it. Yeah. And we definitely discussed about how we were saying that love is just such this abundant thing. It’s like everywhere. But for some reason, people think that love is finite and it’s not out there, but it’s also because like, we’ve just discussed, like, love can be in any forms, whether it’s romantic or friendship, there’s just so much love out there, whether it’s for other people or yourself.

    TJ: Right. Because at the end of the day, we are infinite. Like I said before, we are infinite. Creatures, right. We’ve got infinity within our hearts, within our souls. The soul is an infinite space. That’s what I believe. So that one of things, um, I, I’m very conscious of the fact that I have got infinite love within me.

    No one can actually cannot run out of love, you know? So if, if I, um, I just need to be conscious of that and, you know, give it to myself. You know, a lot of, I think one of the biggest downfalls for a lot of us and myself included, you know, I’ve experienced, it is very bad. Your self-talk is an indicator of yourself.

    Love in my experience, you know? And I tell people if you would never say it to someone that you love or to a little kid, why would you say to yourself. Because a lot of people go through life saying, no, no, you can’t do it. Oh, I’m too ugly. Or I’m too, this I’m too short. Or, you know, I’m not skilled enough.

    But if the person you love was to come to you with an issue, uh, where there’s some self-loading or self-doubting you would encourage them, like, no, you can’t do it, go for it. You know, it’s okay to fail. So if you would say that to someone else, why would you say, why would you expect or say anything less to yourself?

    TJ Shana on the best advice he has received

    Phi: Yeah, that’s really true. Thank you. And I guess I’ve kind of wanted to end it today’s podcast with, I just what’s been the best advice you’ve ever been given by who and what did they say to you? Wow. I’m ending it because to sustain this energy because we’ve literally been talking about such grand topics and really getting introspective. So there would be no other end, but this to end on something like that best advice that anyone has ever you.

    TJ: Wow, Uh, I think the best piece of advice that anyone’s ever given me was actually forget who, who actually told me this.

    I forget his name, actually. Uh, he was an older man that, um, I interacted with a few years ago. I think at a shop. I love that. It’s always random. Yeah. It’s all these random. And we were talking and he said to me, it’s like, you know, um, one of two things you need to realize in life is no one owes you.

    Anything never, ever, go through life, expecting people to just hand things to you. If you want something, you have to not only go after it, but you need to create the kind of energy that attracts what it is that you want. And what he meant by that is you need to be deserving of that. You know, because for example, you know, we want love, but we’re not.

    We’re not embodying love in our own personal lives. You know, you want to get into a relationship with this, um, with this gorgeous human being. Who’s awesome. Who’s honest, who is this with that? But you, you, yourself, you don’t deserve love because you’re not embodying that. So at the end of the day, I think that that really impacted me because it made me realize that at the end of the day, I might want something, but I need to embody what it is that I want before I get it, you know?

    Phi: Yeah. Such wise words. And I love that. That’s how the world works. It’s always some random interaction that you don’t think that would change your life. But obviously this interaction with that, man, he gave you that piece of advice and it stuck with you and you still don’t, you don’t even know who he is.

    And I guess it shows that you never know the impact that people make in your life. And you never know the impact that you’ll make on someone’s life. Right. I wanted to end the note because where can people find you TJ? Because you’ve been absolutely amazing in this podcast. I think people are going to want to see your content.

    How to find TJ and what he is up to

    Phi: Tell us how can we find you? What are you working on? Tell us more. 

    TJ: Well, I’m working on a few projects that will be out later on this year. So, definitely tools that will, uh, help individuals to take the first step. I’m all about the first step. So that could be anyone that is, um, you know, starting to get out of, you know, taking the first steps towards getting out of depression or someone who’s just gone through a breakup or whatever.

    It’s these are going to be tools that will help that person, uh, to take the first step. So that’s a promise that’s guaranteed. Um, but where they can find me, TJshanaofficial on Instagram. Uh, it’s all one word. Uh, um, I posted pretty, pretty regularly and there’ll be more video content coming up.

    There is a podcast in the works as well. Yeah. Yeah. I’ll definitely hit you up. 

    The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 20: TJ Shana Close

    Phi: Well, thank you so much for being on the podcast. TJ, I will drop all the links in the show notes for everybody to get in touch with you because you’re a fantastic soul and people need to get to know you. So thank you so much for being on the show.

    I really appreciate it. Thank you so much. We really appreciate it. Thanks, bye.

    [Episode 20 -TJ Shana Outro]

    Are you wanting to find out more about 1:1 Coaching or working with me? Maybe perhaps you want to know more about me. I’d love to connect with you. You can visit my website phidang.com or connect with me on Instagram @thephidang. Speak to you soon.

    Click here to read more

  • 19: Money is Energy

    Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 19: Money is Energy


    Money is Energy. Energy is a currency. Learn more about the stories and lies our mind has around money. I share a personal example of investing in my new coach! 

    What you'll learn from this episode

    • Money is energy
    • My personal story investing $20,000 in my new coach
    • Our outdated and limiting beliefs around what money is and represents
    • Getting serious with the universe about money and energy
    • Being scared to invest
    • My clients investing and their incredible results
    • Money mindset and how they come to be
    • Limiting money stories
    • The easiest and quickest way to see where you are at in terms of your money mindset and energy

    Key Quotes from this Episode

    Money is energy just as a calorie as a unit of physical energy.

    Phi Dang

    Fear around money which is just plastic or paper that represents energy.

    Phi Dang

    Imagine money was a person, what’s your relationship like?

    Phi Dang

    Featured Resources on the episode

    The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 19: Money is Energy

    You are listening to Episode 19 of the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang: Money is Energy

    [Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]:

    Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.

    Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.

    My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.”

    My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything.

    Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose.

    This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.

    Ready to grow? Let’s grow!

    [Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro]

    [Episode 19 – Money is Energy Begins]

    Money is Energy Introduction

    Hello hello beautiful souls!

    WOW. If you’ve been following me on Instagram you’ll know a lot has happened and changed in the last week alone. Yes! 

    I’ve changed the cover of the podcast, ta-da, because I’ve cut my hair and I’m bringing a new, upgraded, quantum level leaped energy. The style, look and feel of my posts and content has changed and will continue to and it’s so exciting. Everything unfolding feels organic, like a living breathing creature and I’m here for it!

    So what instigated this? Energy.

    I want to share with you a personal story that ties into the energetics of money.

    My personal money is energy story: investing in a new coach

    A few days ago I invested in my new coach over $20,000. Yep I know. It sounds crazy. It sounds mind blowing. My mind thought the same.

    You are crazy.

    You’ve lost the plot.

    and at the same time I had old stories come up like…

    You aren’t worth the money.

    You’re bad with money.

    You don’t know what you’re doing, this is a bad decision.

    Debt is bad.

    You’ve been in debt before so this is a really bad idea.

    Money is energy, it is man made human value

    Money is so funny. It’s literally plastic in Australia, paper everywhere else but it holds so much value. Man made value we create.

    Imagine someone decided that acorns would be the new currency or daffodils. Imagine people running around like crazy to collect.

    And that’s the thing.

    Money is energy.

    Energy is a currency.

    Seeing signs about after investing money

    When I saw my old stories pop up about the decision to invest, I saw an old part of myself. In fact I had a bird tap at my window in the afternoon before I decided.

    When I looked up what it meant, it was a mix of good luck and death. 

    Yep.

    It mean imminent death.

    Creepy. Scary. Overwhelming.

    I look it up after because I also saw a grasshopper which meant prosperity and good luck after I decided to do it despite all this mind drama. Mind lies.

    I realise now looking back it meant death of my old self.

    Yes.

    The new me choosing money is energy, investing

    When I decided to not listen to my old past stories and bullshit that old me died. I stepped up. I changed. I picked the new me. The Phi Dang you are hearing now.

    That puts her money where her actions and values are.

    I always want to invest, learn and grow for myself and for my clients.

    When you go with a coach, you not only learn from them, you learn from their coaches and their coaches coaches. It’s all this amazing compounded knowledge with different interpretations and modifications in your own way. Mind fucking amazing.

    So when I made the decision my mind told me I was crazy. 

    Old money stories, stagnant old energy

    It brought up stories about when I went travelling and had $20k debt, about earning and losing money, about being cheap and stingy, about being overindulgent, about having lots of savings and no savings – all of the things which didn’t matter.

    It made me realise I like to have savings in my bank account and hoard it because I’m always so scared of having no money and losing everything. It’s just money. I’ll still be alive, okay and I trust I will find a way to make money back.

    Why have savings if you don’t have a means for it?

    It’s stagnant stuck energy.

    Life is about living, having energy

    Why play small in this life?

    Life is about LIVING. Being alive. Feeling.

    So my choice to do it, to invest was because I am not my past.

    I am not my mind’s lies and stories.

    I am here now in this moment.

    I felt a FUCK YES in my body.

    And when I did it even days later, I would do it all over again.

    I have made SO MANY QUANTUM LEAPS. Big shifts and changes.

    Because that $20k represents A LOT OF ENERGY.

    Getting serious about your energy to the universe

    I’m stepping up and going to the universe, fucking hello I am here. I am serious. I am not staying small and trapped in my scarcity stories anymore. I’m fucking powerful and abundant. Bring it on. Everything I desire.

    I guarantee when you listen in a few months and see all the changes compound yourmind is going to blow along with mine.

    Already so much is happening I am manifesting so much everyday bits of money, seeing signs from the universe I never saw before, having so much energy, feeling amazing, being so happy, I’m actually high on life! None of it to do with money. It’s all about ENERGY.

    Are you scared to invest? Here's my advice

    So my advice to you is when you feel fear, can you meet the scary, razor edges of your fear?

    Can you drop your mind and go deep into your body to truly feel it.

    To trust yourself and ask yourself is this fear because of old stories and crap but I really want it so I will do it vs this isn’t for me.

    You have to go first and make the move to change your life. The universe won’t do it for you.

    You have to show yourself who you are, right now in this moment. Forget the past.

    What are you doing now that will influence your future?

    Are you living in line with your values?

    The more uncomfortable and scary it is… the greater it will change your life.

    Feel the fear and do it anyway. 

    I can tell you all this because I know it to be true, I am living it and experiencing it.

    Listen to your heart and soul

    Don’t take my word, do it for yourself. Listen to your heart and soul. You will see.

    Your body never lies to you, if you’re scared you’ll feel it.

    But guess who will lie to you as per last week’s episode?

    Your brain is a liar

    Your brain. Your mind.

    It loves to propel stories.

    You’re not good enough.

    You’re not worthy.

    You won’t make enough money.

    You won’t get a return on investment.

    It will go on and on as your brain tries to lie and convince you how you just aren’t amazing or good enough.

    Stuck energy. In a rut.

    So you stay small. Stuck. Trapped.

    Wondering why am I not changing?

    Why aren’t I happy?

    What’s wrong?

    But see, if you only listened to your heart and soul.

    Open your heart and soul

    Opened up everything from your eyes to your heart and soul about potential.

    See the potential of abundance.

    I am amazing.

    I am worthy of spending money on and investing in myself.

    I will make back the money or get it from the universe one way or another. I trust.

    I will get a return on investment whether it’s money, knowledge, growth and transformation.

    YES!

    On clients scared to invest their money and energy

    I send so much love to beautiful souls when they aren’t ready to make the leap to work with me.

    Mostly it’s money. But it’s not really about the money.

    Money can be an excuse to hide behind.

    It’s because they aren’t ready to trust themselves.

    That they are worth it.

    To choose the person they will become after working with me.

    I send love that one day they realise it and decide to stop playing small, GO BIG and invest in themselves.

    The incredible results I co create with my clients

    To get the incredible transformations that I deliver with my clients.

    Moving on from their ex.

    Shedding their past.

    Working through trauma and limiting beliefs. 

    Realising the lies their mind tells them.

    New relationships, dating and the love of their life.

    New jobs.

    A new career.

    A new mindset.

    A new energy.

    Acing exams and university.

    Sleeping better at night.

    Being more positive and happy.

    Being excited to wake up every single day.

    Being and embodying love.

    Manifesting everything they desire from money to opportunities.

    Feeling so whole and happy in their body.

    Magnetising people around them. They are that person when they walk in the room you can’t help but pay attention.

    YES. THIS.

    But not everyone will get there and that’s okay. I know and trust that the beautiful souls meant to work with me will work with me, no matter what. I love that. I love them. I love those not ready and send even more love. I love you. 

    Money is a currency and unit of energy

    Threading this all back. Money is energy. An expression, form of energy. 

    Humans give it value. 

    Not many people are aware or conscious of this and I want to give you this beautiful gift of knowledge. 

    Money is energy just as a calorie as a unit of physical energy.

    If you’re finding this hard to take in, it’s time to do the work and bring awareness to your money stories.

    Money mindset stories that keep you small

    Your money mindset and stories come from experience, what you hear as a kid such as money doesn’t grow on trees, making money is hard, I’m not from a rich family, I can’t afford to buy, money can’t buy you happiness, money is evil etc.

    It all has an origin from what you heard from your parents and people around you as a kid.

    Can you see how these experiences have created limiting money beliefs?

    Don’t blame yourself, it’s your experiences and programming from the world around you. 

    As a child you absorb everything like a sponge, soaking every thing in. Even when you don’t realise it.

    Fear around money which is just plastic or paper that represents energy.

    Money exists to be used.

    Money wants to be respected and loved, not feared.

    Imagine money was a person...

    Imagine money was a person, what’s your relationship like?

    Do you show them love and appreciation?

    Or are you scared to look at money?

    Running away from money?

    One way to find out where you are at in your money mindset and energy

    A good indicator I’ve spoken about with my clients is open your bank account and see how you feel.

    That’s a good sign about where your money mindset is.

    Scared to do it? Feel terrible?

    There’s work to be done.

    The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 19: Money is Energy

    I can help you, I would love to and I’ve been through it myself so please get in touch with me.

    I would love to work with you through 1:1 coaching to see amazing results for you like my incredible clients.

    I love being a life coach and helping people to wake up, be happy and enjoy life.

    I’m so excited for next week’s episode where I will have a very special guest my friend TJ. We met through Instagram and he is so passionate about motivating the masses. He’s a personal growth champion. We’ll be going live on Instagram on Saturday 12pm Sydney Australia time. Watch this space.

    Have a great day beautiful soul, chat to you next Tuesday! Love and positivity.

    [Episode 19 -Money is Energy Outro]

    Are you wanting to find out more about 1:1 Coaching or working with me? Maybe perhaps you want to know more about me. I’d love to connect with you. You can visit my website phidang.com or connect with me on Instagram @thephidang. Speak to you soon.

    Click here to read more

  • 18: Your Brain Is A Liar

    Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 18: Your Brain Is A Liar

    This episode is all about how your brain is a liar. In fact, your brain lies to you all the time, every single day. Learn about the 13 ways in which your brain lies to you.

     

    What you'll learn from this episode

    • Why your brain lies
    • The negativity bias
    • Why the brain is lazy and likes to be efficient
    • 13 ways in which your brain lies to you

    Key Quotes from this Episode

    The negativity bias was very useful for our cave man ancestors back in the day where as now not so much.

    Phi Dang

    Your brain loves to be comfortable at all costs including long term happiness. It likes to repeat thoughts you already always have even if they are negative because that’s easy.

    Phi Dang

    Should are guilt beatings.

    Phi Dang

    Featured Resources on the episode

    The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 18: Your Brain Is A Liar

    You are listening to Episode 18 of the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang: Your Brain Is A Liar

    [Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]:

    Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.

    Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.

    My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.”

    My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything.

    Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose.

    This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.

    Ready to grow? Let’s grow!

    [Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro]

    [Episode 18 – Your Brain Is A Liar Begins]

    Your Brain Is A Liar Introduction

    Hello beautiful soul! This episode had been a long time coming. I feel like I’ve been teasing it way back because it was meant to be Episode 12 which has turned into Episode 18 because of my spark and desire to do the love series (which was amazing by the way!).

    The title of the podcast just jumps as screams out at you don’t you think. It’s alarming and it’s true. Before I dive into today’s episode I wanted to give a huge shout out to Tegan who I got to speak to yesterday who listens to the podcast. Hi Tegan thank you so much for listening beautiful soul, I appreciate you.

    Shout out to my beautiful clients

    Also a huge shout of to 3 of my clients, Matt, Josie and Carrie who are almost at the end of our coaching containers. Ahhhh I love you all, I love helping you and watching you all transform in your individual, unique way. It makes my heart and soul sing. Thank you for honouring me with the blessing of being your life coach.

    If you’ve been listening to me on this podcast for a while, checking out my Instagram posts and feel drawn – please listen to your tug! I would love to speak to you, I offer a complementary 45 minute call no strings attached worth $260 so jump on it if it feels right for you.

    Your Brain Is A Liar

    Let’s go into today’s episode.

    Your brain is a liar. 

    It means well because it wants to protect you and keep you safe but it lies to you a lot.

    There is nothing wrong with you. It’s just that you believe the lies.

    Common lies your brain tells you

    • Your brain tells you things like:
    • You’re not good enough
    • You can’t change
    • You can’t get what you want
    • You will be the same forever
    • No one understands you
    • There’s something wrong with you
    • You will be single and alone forever 
    • You can’t finish anything
    • You can’t lose weight
    • You can’t start that business
    • You can’t make a lot of money
    • You can’t be positive

    All these lies, it’s not your fault.

    Why your brain lies to you?

    We all have these thoughts until we do personal development work or until we have a life coach who shows us how our brain lies.

    Why does your brain lie?

    Simply put, it’s hardwired that way through evolution to protect you and keep you safe through different means. 

    Your brain is negatively biased

    Personally from working with my clients, they think something is wrong with them because they are so negative and cannot seem to get over it.

    What they don’t realise is that we are all negatively biased. That it takes uncomfortable, intentional, conscious work to overcome the negativity. That it is truly difficult to do on your own and much easier with a life coach.

    In fact psychologist Rick Hanson likens the mind like Velcro for negative experiences and Teflon for positive ones. 

    The negativity bias is so evident in your everyday life, can you relate to the examples I’m about to share?

    Examples of negatively biased thinking
    • It always feels that the negativity triumphs the positivity. You could have 5 good things happen but you focus on the 1 negative.
    • If your brain is wondering it’s more likely to think of everything that could go wrong instead of everything that could go right. Quitting your job to start your own business – what if you don’t make any money and can’t pay your bills, what if you have no customers and look like the biggest failure and embarrassment to everyone you know. These thoughts are more likely than what if it all goes right and I make lots of money, what if it all goes right and I only work 10 hours a week.
    • You are more compelled and likely to leave negative reviews than positive reviews for restaurants, experiences, products and so forth. The Thai restaurant you usually go to every week, suddenly they missed the spring rolls in your order. You feel angry and want to change Thai restaurants even though this is the first thing to go wrong out of 20 orders.
    • You can remember and recall negative experiences more clearly and often than positive memories. It’s easy to remember the times you were heartbroken feeling numb, broken and crying non stop as opposed to the recent memory of you going to the beach with your friends.
    • You react more strongly to negative things that happen to you in the day as opposed to positive things. When someone compliments you, you shake it off and thank them, it hardly lingers on your mind vs someone spilling coffee on your white top. You immediately feel annoyed and shout out the person who spilt it. Weren’t they paying attention? What is wrong with them?
    • You will remember insults more than praise. You remember that moment that kid said you were fat and ugly even though nowadays you get told you’re beautiful and attractive but it’s hard to believe.

      The negativity bias was very useful for our cave man ancestors back in the day where as now not so much.

      The negativity kept cave men on alert…

      You are a cave man outside and hear the bushes behind you rustling.
      Was it the wind or a lion in the bushes moving around?
      Your brain says lion to keep you safe, it is better to be safe than sorry
       

    Your brain is lazy and values efficiency

    Your brain loves to be efficient after all it has so many things to do. Think about it your brain ensures you subconsciously breathe, blink and circulate blood without having to think about it. It uses so much energy to keep you alive therefore it likes repetition and easy that means comfortable.

    If you’re always complaining then your brain will latch onto this. The more you do it, the more it will happen automatically as your brain neurons work together. Your brain thinks why build a temporary bridge when I can build a permanent bridge since this human loves to do it all the time. So it does. As the saying goes:

     

    “Neurons that fire together, wire together.”

    Therefore your brain loves to be comfortable at all costs including long term happiness. It likes to repeat thoughts you already always have even if they are negative because that’s easy.

    The brain is used to being in a comfort cocoon and any time you push it especially getting outside your comfort zone, the brain will panic.

    Working consciously to change your thoughts = effort = hard = brain likes to avoid.

    The 13 ways in which your brain lies to you

    1. Catastrophising

    Every little setback becomes a huge hurdle – it’s the sky is falling way of thinking. You make a problem more significant than it is and it is often the worst case scenario.

    An example of this is you go on a date with someone who doesn’t want a second date and you now believe you will never find love again in your life.

    2. All or nothing

    Everything is either black and white and you overlook the possibility that there’s a spectrum.

    An example you are either a success or a failure, whereas in reality most of us have a mix of successes and failures. 

    3. Arbitrary Inference

    Coming to conclusions without all the facts.

    For example someone hasn’t texted you back for 5 hours, they must not like you. Here you don’t know what the person is doing, what they may be going through, if they have access to a phone and so forth. 

    4. Perfectionism

     The need to relentlessly achieve very high standards immediately, mistakes are seen as fatal flaws and your brain does not acknowledge growth.

    An example is when trying something new and needing to be amazing immediately otherwise thinking you are a failure. 

    5. Discounting

    You are quick to point out negatives in any situation or turn positive ones negative.

    An example is she only complimented me because she feels sorry for me or they only did that because they want money.

    6. Personalisation

    Making everything about you even though it has nothing to do with you.

    That person doesn’t want to date me because I’m not good enough when really that person just got out of a long term relationship and isn’t ready to commit to anyone.

    7. Mind reading

    You think people can read your mind (that they should know what you want instead of you communicating it) such as your partner should know exactly what you want for your birthday and you also think you can mind read other people – your partner should know you like to get a morning text every day.

    8. Fortune Telling

    You think you can predict the future with certainty. 

    For example you get the text “we need to talk” and immediately you assume that someone wants to break up with you or if it’s from your boss you are going to get fired.

    9. Magnification

    You put more emphasis on the negative and downplay the positives such as you had an amazing road trip away but the light scratch on your car ruined it.

    10. Should

    Should rule your mind. Should are guilt beatings. The energy behind having to do something is draining. Replace your should with wants and feel the difference there.

    Examples of this:

    • I should eat more healthy food vs I want to eat more healthy food to have more energy.
    • I should wake up earlier vs I want to wake up earlier to do more before work.
    • I should exercise more vs I want to exercise more to be healthier and fitter.
    • I should save more money vs I want to save more money to buy a house and have security and safety.

    11. Confusion

    – “I don’t know” – my clients will laugh because they know I do not accept that answer in coaching. You know. You know.

    Confusion is a comfort indulging emotion. As discussed earlier our brain loves comfort!

    When you are confused you are in limbo, you don’t have to take responsibility for your decisions. 

    When you are confused, the longer you are confused, the more you are confused. 

    You are scared of what will happen when you make a decision, how you will feel, how you will think. So you stay “confused”.

    12. Automatic Negative Thoughts - ANTS

    Also known as ANTS. 

    Whilst these ANTS are based on your beliefs and perception which you can’t control on a subconscious level (without doing the work). 

    In fact they are a product of your doing, when you repeatedly allow negative thoughts and believe negative thoughts this becomes a very strong habit in your brain repeated day in and day out. You can take control through doing the work and challenging these thoughts and beliefs.

    This applies to anything whether it’s negative thoughts, putting yourself down etc

    13. Blaming

    remaining in a victim role and blaming who you are and your life on people or circumstances outside of yourself. Remember you are responsible for your thoughts, attitude and actions. Circumstances are neutral, your thoughts create your feelings, actions and results.

    The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 18: Your Brain Is A Liar

    Yeppp, these are all the ways in which your brain lies to you.

    It’s alarming.

    Be alert.

    Be aware.

    Be present.

    If you catch yourself doing it, you become conscious, awake.

    With that, what are you going to do with it. Will you believe the lies or choose to shed the light of truth on the darkness of the lies?

    Until next Tuesday beautiful soul, love and positivity. 

    [Episode 18 -Your Brain Is A Liar Outro]

    Are you wanting to find out more about 1:1 Coaching or working with me? Maybe perhaps you want to know more about me. I’d love to connect with you. You can visit my website phidang.com or connect with me on Instagram @thephidang. Speak to you soon.

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