The Great Unlearning: 1st Anniversary
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Join me on this special anniversary episode celebrating the first birthday of The Great Unlearning! I share the journey from inception to impact of my first debut book. This episode weaves in human design as to how I approached writing the book as well as updates from key experiences of my life I shared in the book too! Expect stories, musings and reflections.
The journey of The Great Unlearning
Hello beautiful soul,
I can’t believe I am saying this and it still feels surreal, Happy 1st birthday to my debut first book – The Great Unlearning: Awakening to Living an Aligned and authentic life. It was one year ago today on June 23rd 2023 that she was released and I’m honestly still taking a moment to reflect on the year that’s gone by and this is where this episode is coming in! Celebrations, reflections and musing in honour of TGU’s 1st birthday.
I still remember when the book was a seedling of an idea around the time I launched in her vitality which was previously my Instagram handle when I first started a mental health passion project which was that page and it’s now evolved to well me @thephidang and being a life coach.
I’ve just had a look on Instagram and I started my page on August 3rd 2019, which then became my own personal brand which was around 200 weeks ago so around the end of August/beginning September 2020! I remember I was so scared going from anonymous, to showing my face and then fully making the account ‘me.’ Shortly after that I began life coaching on demand, as a side hustle to my corporate career and in September 2021 I resigned to go all in and full time as a life coach. At the beginning of 2022 was when I signed my book deal, started writing The Great Unlearning and the publication date June 23 2023. Wow! What a journey it’s been.
A lifelong childhood dream fulfilled
It still remains and will remain as one of the best moments of my life to have fulfilled a life long dream to not only write a book but publish one, I still get so giddy seeing the book in a bookstore or having someone share their thoughts and experience in reading the book! Which I will cheekily say, it would mean the world to me to have your support, if you have read it to please leave a book review somewhere or talk about it with a friend, it helps me spread the word and get it read by more people on my mission to help everyone unlearn everything that holds you back.
Diving into this episode I thought I would take you behind the scenes of what it’s like to get an idea for a book. to write it and have it published too. From having the idea to write a book, looking back in hindsight through the lens of human design: from a young age I’ve always loved literature, my Dad was an English teacher in Vietnam and I remember him reading me books before I would sleep every night. I have this clear memory of starting school, being in kindergarten and our teacher asked us to draw pictures of what we did over the weekend. I remember drawing a soccer ball and house, writing ‘house’ and ‘ball’ underneath. The memory is so vivid because my teacher was shocked asking how did I already know how to write and I proudly said my dad taught me at home! I have really lovely memories of him reading to me but also helping me write and draw shapes.
Being seen as a hermit, 2, in human design
Fast forward at school English was one of my best subjects alongside business and economics which again make sense because I genuinely loved all three (well maybe definitely english and business over economics which became too math-y for my liking and enjoyment at a University level). Being a hermit (2 profile line) one of the characteristics is natural talents and I recall many people saying I was great at English and writing, it would go on to be the core of what I share with the world too on Instagram (which wasn’t always this way, I posted more heavy informational based ones or quotes by other people) until a client was like Phi, you have such a way with words when you talk, I can only imagine if you wrote them down too like I do in my sessions, I think you need to do this on your Instagram. The first time I blew up my Instagram was when I did my own writing on men’s mental health and it rapidly grew ever since stemming from my writing (which also helped me secure my book deal because I could actually write (and not have a ghostwriter which some people do, some will disclose and others don’t!).
Diving into this episode I thought I would take you behind the scenes of what it’s like to get an idea for a book. to write it and have it published too. From having the idea to write a book, looking back in hindsight through the lens of human design: from a young age I’ve always loved literature, my Dad was an English teacher in Vietnam and I remember him reading me books before I would sleep every night. I have this clear memory of starting school, being in kindergarten and our teacher asked us to draw pictures of what we did over the weekend. I remember drawing a soccer ball and house, writing ‘house’ and ‘ball’ underneath. The memory is so vivid because my teacher was shocked asking how did I already know how to write and I proudly said my dad taught me at home! I have really lovely memories of him reading to me but also helping me write and draw shapes.
Manifesting generator and how the idea forThe Great Unlearning came about
This is where the magic of human design comes in before I even consciously realised as a manifesting generator our strategy is to ‘respond’ to the world. Whilst as a young girl I loved the idea of writing a book because I loved books, I didn’t actually know what I would write about…
what would unfurl a lot later on in my life from my mid twenties was a series and string of things to respond to.
The first one being around 2019, 2020 in the lead up to the pandemic and during, I was starting to read more personal growth and development books, which I had done on and off over the years (again very manifesting generator to be obsessed with something for a moment, then your obsession goes to something else, and then back again!) as I deepened my own personal spirituality. I remember distinctly thinking you know what I would love to write a book someday and maybe it will be in this genre of personal growth since I love it so much. The next signal would come a year later after coaching clients for a while, the idea for the book downloaded through me in the form of an ‘aha’ moment – reflecting on coaching clients women, men, all over the world of different ages I saw a clear theme emerge in what I was talking about: unlearning!
What is unlearning?
Putting that together with how I felt too because when you read a lot these books they are so inspiring but you also have this tinge of there’s so much to learn and you’ll unconsciously start seeding maybe there’s something wrong with me, maybe I don’t know enough… in our journey towards self-improvement, we tend to focus on acquiring new knowledge, skills, and habits.
However, unlearning—the process of letting go of outdated beliefs, behaviours, and mindsets— which stem from our own life experiences but also programming and conditioning, thing outside of our control, things externally as we journey through life: passed down, absorbed from our parents, caretakers, friends, family, society, culture, gender was pinging in my mind! Our lives are filled with conditioning through ingrained patterns that hinder our progress and keep us stuck in the language of “I should be…” “I need to…” “I must…” “I have to….” because…
What emerged for me was the hidden but always there gem and gold, the new paradigm of unlearning! Consciously choosing to unlearn, we create space for new, empowering perspectives and practices that align with our authentic selves and soul driven aspirations. From there I started to map out my own experiences and see how in my journey I have had to unlearn so much! It really does require self-awareness, courage, and a willingness to embrace change. It involves questioning the status quo, challenging long-held assumptions, and being open to new ways of thinking and being. It involves being so kind, patient and compassionate with your self as we are experiencing life as humans, we aren’t perfect nor are we meant to be.
Human Design, masculine and feminine, writing a book
I hadn’t come across unlearning in any books I had read and so I wanted to see if it was a strong concept and found my book mentor and coach, who had written several books and is also within the personal growth industry, she agreed so much whilst this was happening my corporate job and life was taking up all of the time, so when she reached out some time later saying Phi, you really need to take this concept and write a book (something else to respond to!). In finding my mentor I just had a feeling and intuitive nudge because I loved reading her book (thank you another to respond signal and intuition!). Really was something I was meant to do and meant for because the universe found a way to get me back on track through my book coach!
What I know of myself aligns with my human design because I am right brained (hence why I didn’t love maths in high school nor in university switching economics to marketing which I thrived along and was my gut instinct before I picked economics because looking back I thought it would be more impressive and earn more money than marketing to complement my law degree). So in terms of figuring out the book, I loved mind mapping, starting with concepts branching out, taking breaks from it to look over flesh out more with a fresh perspective. That’s my strength, ideation, and through the experience of my book coach she helped me come up with a structure for the book which felt flowy and helped me to develop the book chapters and sections.
Honesty and transparency writing a book the involves your life
In explaining unlearning, the best way I knew would be to draw upon my own life experiences so it was a process of reflecting, brain dumping, mind mapping. Now in drawing upon your own life experiences it is important to consider what to use and particularly if involved other people for example my family. It was important for me to let them know, know how they felt about it and ultimately their blessing as this was in alignment with my values of integrity (do what I would want someone else to do if I were in their shoes) and honouring myself (being able to have open and honest conversations). Another particular person important in this was my partner at the time and we ended up breaking up during the writing process. I ultimately got his blessing and I am grateful for that because it’s an odd and uncommon position to be in where your ex partner happens to be a life coach with an online presence and is writing a book during the time of your break up…
With full transparency I was meant to hand in the first full draft of the book around the time of our break up but I couldn’t given my heart was aching in my own personal journey and I knew in a book that deeply weaves my life, it would have a place in the book. I’m happy to say he and I are on good terms too, still to this day.
Wanting a fairytale ending in real life
The break up was hard with so many changes having gone full time in my own business, running it, having to move homes and well deal with a break up of a three year relationship. With my human design I am very much designed to be in flow and not necessarily routine so when I did get back to writing, I couldn’t face myself to write everyday personally, what worked best for me was when I got downloads in the moment writing them down as much as I could and then when lightning hit going with it again. I acknowledge I am super fortunate I run my own business so I could really structure out my week to support this feminine creative writing flow.
Talking about break ups, if you’ve read The Great Unlearning you know I write about wanting a partner. I kept thinking oh I’m going to get the perfect fairytale ending by the time I publish and launch the book, my new partner would be by my side. He wasn’t and on a human level yes I was a little disappointed because it would have been ‘the’ ending you know publishing a book, living in my dream home, in my dream job, with dream friends and family and a dream partner but I was so ecstatic and truly the happiest I had been in a long time, made peace with being single that it wasn’t a detriment but I felt important to acknowledge even at my book launch. The universe works in funny and mysterious ways and I swear I had a soul contract that I was not to get in a relationship until I had finished the book (a part of my soul’s mission in helping people in this lifetime) because I met my now partner almost a week after the book launch! We are still together to this day.
Being in a relationship and unlearning
How we met felt truly serendipitous, one of those stories where we really did meet at the perfect time. Any earlier, we wouldn’t have been together. When we spoke about our lives leading up to our meeting, we had been in each other’s orbits several years prior to even meeting whether it be living in the same suburb, at the same time and never meeting (for example even if we did I had a partner!). The way in which we met was again a series of things to respond to and so despite my huge resistance, thanks to two great girl friends, we met in one of those rare, unheard of stories.
In speaking to a client who’s in her season of life where she’s gone through a breakup similar timing to when I did and is still single, don’t get me wrong being in a relationship is so wonderful but that did not prevent challenges in my life still arising nor now, I’m sure anyone in a relationship will tell you that ! Life isn’t picture perfect, bow tied up, it begins a whole other new journey in other ways as does any close relationship in life.
Overcoming perfectionism in writing a book
Relationships are a commitment, writing a book is also one commitment, as is like a marathon. It requires preparation, endurance, and perseverance. Just as a marathon runner must train their body and mind over long distances, as an author you must make space, dedicate time and put in effort to develop your ideas and write, write, write! I’ve grown so much on a personal level to really overcome perfectionism in any form. In the process of writing you’ll go through so many drafts, then rewrite, then be like wait what about this word or should this punctation be this or that? You come to embrace that the first draft is never it, it’s a process of refinement. Even as I’m talking about this I’m having that feeling like ooooh I would absolutely love to coach and mentor someone interested in writing a book too. Stating that, putting it out into the universe! As well as the fact I am currently open and available to taking on more 1:1 clients and human design readings so this is your green light and signal if you’ve been thinking of one! More information on my website or Dm me on my Instagram.
Life a year after writing a book
With undertaking something big as a marathon, as with a book it really does help you grow even more as a person. I’ve gained so much insight into myself and personal development which I think has gone hand in hand after the book having the biggest month in my business ever, having more impact and influence working with more clients around the world and now being at this point in my journey coming up to three years full time and almost four thereabouts since I started my Instagram and then life coaching, about to embark on running my first retreat in Bali 2024 in August which was almost sold out in 48 hours with the final spot going shortly afterwards. I am so excited and having been working away in the background preparing for the magic that it is going to be and already is. There also some other incredibly exciting things that I can’t quite speak about just yet but each year keeps getting bigger and better in business and that is going to continue to the end of this year in 2024 and in 2025, new offerings that I haven’t ever done before. Is another book on the horizon? I haven’t got any current plans yet but I know more than another one is within me! Watch this space.
Family lineage, Vietnam and The Great Unlearning
A hint on the above and what’s to come is in the book I wrote “I’ve travelled the world multiple times, but I still have not been to Vietnam. I will one day and I am sure it will bring up a mixture of emotions.” That it did! A few months after the book I went to Vietnam for the first time before going to Bali and I loved it. It was so special and healing to meet members of my family I hadn’t before or even knew about. I gained so much insight into my maternal side of the family and truly felt the presence of my grandparents whom I never met but they were definitely pleased I went and there with me (I actually had flickering lights at night as a friendly hello!). It would have to be another episode but I went to see their resting places, immerse myself in the temples thy frequented, where my mum grew up and so much more. Honestly that back half of 2023 was an absolute dream, a time I will truly cherish for the rest of my life all kickstarting with The Great Unlearning and coming into the world.
The Great Unlearning reviews
To this present day, with The Great Unlearning’s first birthday I want to put her in the spotlight and thought I would share some reviews about her!
The Great Unlearning is written by the talented author, Phi Dang who is an incredible woman who will get you results with her outstanding book. As I read Dang’s book, I was engrossed and wanted to know more, whenever a question would pop up in my mind while reading this book Dang eventually answered it, and so it truly is a beautiful reading experience!
One of the greatest strengths of this book is Phi’s ability to connect with readers on a deep level. She writes with genuine passion and authenticity, making the content relatable and engaging. She shares her personal experiences and challenges, demonstrating that she has walked the same path she is guiding us on.
Dang offers some thought-provoking insights into the nature of life and what it truly means to be successful on your terms. This is an inspirational book everyone needs to read.
The Great Unlearning Part 1: Success
Based on conversations, feedback and reviews I’ve had, some pivotal chapters people really resonated with was timelines and money, money, money in the first part of The Great Unlearning on success. I think at it’s core having people really take a moment to check in with themselves, what does success truly mean to you? People jump to answers like money, fame and all of that but is it really what your soul wants and desires? It may be, it may be not, the core question being what does your soul truly want and desire, what’s the energy, intention and reasoning behind it, is it you or is the influenced learnings?
The Great Unlearning Part 2: Self
Part 2 on the self has been relatable for many whether it’s your own journey in self love and self worth based on your identity or body. Talking about pleasure has people going and I think is important to highlight too especially for women as it’s become less of an importance when pleasure is. It challenges societal norms that have historically repressed female sensuality and speaks to women feeling empowered in their own body and experiences. To hear the chapter on self-made which speaks to my journey of becoming a life coach inspiring others makes my heart so warm and I really do encourage you to go for it because you never really do know nor do you want to regret. I hope I can show you what is possible in life when you do follow your heart and soul, whilst being true and authentic to who you are.
The Great Unlearning Part 3: Inner Being
Part 3 inner being, the chapter ‘happiness is everything’ formed the foundation of a talk I was invited to give on toxic vs genuine positivity. Grief and heartbreak is a chapter dear to my heart too. Our inner being forms the foundation of how we feel and experience life itself from our thoughts and feelings, the importance of talking about mental health too (knowing you are not alone, we all have a mental health and the journey navigating it too). I think how it’s also imperative to speak about the unspoken things and bring out this aspect of self, psyche, the shadow (again very much in line with one of my main human design energies known as the game player in relation to taking rises and the leaps of faith).
The Great Unlearning Part 4: Relationships
Part 4 relationships, the feedback I’ve received is how relatable the chapters are to dating, being in a relationship and breaking up. Hearing how many women could relate to really loving someone but knowing in their soul that they are no longer growing together and even still the heartbreak, sadness and mourning that accompanies that as I shared of my own experience in the chapter ‘Love Story.’ Also being open as to my family history and journey as an Australian Asian woman. So many have related to that without having the same background which shows how many universal experiences where we think it’s only us or we are alone, the truth is many of us do share core experiences such as no family is perfect yet the societal pressure to appear to be and in alignment with everyone else and their expectations.
The Great Unlearning Part 5: Spirituality
Part 5, on spirituality has inspired so many conversations of more women coming out of the ‘spiritual closet’ as I did and embracing, owning their spirituality. Especially those like myself who grew up religious and embracing more of a personal philosophy, of oneness in relation to source and the universe as well as ‘Gotta see it to believe it’ on the signs the Universe orchestrates and gives us alongside our loved ones that have passed away, the comfort that they truly are always with us.
Becoming an author, does it change your life?
So how does your life change writing a book, having a published booked and being an author? It’s so soul fulfilling because making a difference in someone’s life alongside coaching and human design is such a huge privilege. Knowing you inspired someone to think differently or to go after their dreams! The feedback from the book I’ve received is in alignment with human design: reassuring and validating that someone knows they aren’t the only one who feels a certain way about something. It’s a permission slip to truly be yourself. Even being triggered by the book to really stop, pause, reflect and question your life is an honour. I’ve had people share that it made them realise to truly do what they want in life or start carving a path in honour to do so.
On a personal level it really embodies one of my key main life energies in human design: struggle. Stories of my struggle have turned into strengths, grief into gold, not only for me anymore but for anyone reading The Great Unlearning. It’s truly the book I wish I had earlier in my life!
Pride, achievement and alignment
I’ve met special souls through my book whether it be them taking a moment to message me about the book on Instagram, to having readers become clients off the back of being inspired and feeling the intuitive nudge to do so. You also have really great conversations with people when sharing the concept for the book because people are always so intrigued, The Great Unlearning, can you dive deeper into that? Ultimately it’s also a sense of pride and great achievement not only for me but I know my lineage, ancestry and family lines especially my mum. I think there’s that traditional stereotype being a woman to be quiet, being asian to keep things to yourself and then there’s me unlearning that and having a strong, bold, fierce voice out in the world to share my thoughts and stories with the world because that very process, journey and opportunity to is groundbreaking and shattering the condition learnings I speak about throughout the book!
In moments where I do feel vulnerable because I share my own personal experiences I always bring myself back to what I previously shared, the intention behind the book because The Great Unlearning isn’t about me. It’s about you. Your Great Unlearning.
That feels like a beautiful and aligned ending for this episode. Thank you so much for listening and supporting me, with even more love and gratitude if you’ve read the book, purchased a copy or shared with somebody or written a review it truly means the world to me and makes a huge difference, so thank you. I swear as I’ve finished this episode its 23 minutes (in alignment with the book’s launch date! Full circle!). Until next time, love and positivity.
