I’ll share my personal example with love. Growing up as an only child, I really craved a lot of love and attention. As mentioned the beginning of the podcast not many of us are taught we need to give it to ourselves and it makes sense at a young age it’s hard to grasp and comprehend this concept. So to that I always looked for love outside of myself and I felt that I had to perform to get this love.

I had to look nice to get compliments or do really well in my studies to get praise. It wasn’t until my first relationship a high school sweetheart that I realised the way I was through his feedback. He used to tell me I was so selfish and I carried that baggage for a long time. I took it as a fact and went onto date people where my boundaries would slip and slide – I was too scared to have my own wants and needs because I was ‘selfish’.

Now I know that it wasn’t on me to meet his needs and wants because the only person who is responsible for that is you. He expected me to make him happy, to cheer him up when he was sad and to always think of him before me.

If anyone says that its your responsibility to make them happy, to help them get out of debt, to boost their career whatever the answer is no. It’s on us as self reliant adults to do the work! I came to this place after doing my own personal development and working with mentors such as a life coach. So this leads me into my first point on how to make self love your priority…