Life Lessons Archives - Phi Dang, Human Design Life Coach Sydney

You were never meant to lose yourself in love…

You were never meant to lose yourself in love, only to meet yourself more fully.

You were never meant to change and mould yourself for their needs, schedule and life… you weren’t meant to disappear inside someone else’s life.

You know what that feels like—to ignore your inner voice and those pink…red flags, to rearrange your wants, to become the version of yourself that keeps the connection intact.

It starts subtly, a small compromise here, a silenced truth there, until one day you look in the mirror and hardly recognise the woman staring back.

She feels small, scarce, desperate to be loved.

Love was never meant to cost you your essence.

If you have to abandon yourself to keep it, it was never love—it was survival.

Real love doesn’t ask you to be less, to dim what makes you shine or to exchange your wholeness for belonging.

True love meets you in your truth, in your fullness, in the parts of you that refuse to be edited or reshaped for the comfort of another.

So, what if you stopped trying to earn love through self abandonment?

What if, instead, you turned inward, reclaiming the parts of you that once felt too much or not enough? You were never meant to disappear in love. You were meant to stand firmly in it, exactly as you are.

I’m here if you need help or guidance in doing that 🥹🫶🏽 I offer 1:1 coaching, human design readings and personal growth development retreats. Message me for more information 💌

love & positivity ✨ phi

I am love

I was looking for love until I realised I smile at strangers even on my hardest days, feel the sunset in my bones and say “text me when you get home” and mean it. I am love.

For so long, you searched for love like it was something outside of you—something waiting to be found in someone else’s arms, in the right words, in a grand gesture that would finally make you feel whole.

Then one day, you noticed the way you instinctively reach for your friend’s hand when she’s upset. The way you soften your voice when speaking to a child. The way you stay up late to make sure your friend gets home safely.

Love isn’t some distant, elusive thing—it’s in the way you care, the way you notice and the way your heart expands without anyone asking it to.

Love has never been missing. It’s woven into the smallest moments— the hopes and positive wishes for strangers, waving at dogs… You were never without love. You are love. And you always have been.

Reel Inspired by @annaoliviax

love & positivity ✨ phi

Looking to feel, embody, experience more estatic, fulfilling, wholesome love in your self and life? I got you 🧡 I offer 1:1 coaching, human design readings and retreats. Message me 💌

Chasing perfection

The pressure to be perfect is the fear of being seen as you are.

The pressure to be perfect is actually secretly maybe even unconsciously all about… protection.

It’s the belief that if you refine yourself enough, if you present only the most curated, flawless version of who you are, you’ll be safe from judgment, rejection or the unbearable sting of not being enough.

In this we don’t get to see the REAL human you—the one with contradictions, softness, and truth—gets hidden beneath layers of approval validation seeking, leaving you exhausted yet still feeling unworthy.

At its core, perfectionism is an armor against being truly seen. It’s scary to be vulnerable, to risk exposing the parts of you that are still in progress, the parts that don’t always have it together. It’s easier to micromanage your image, to polish the rough edges, than to let someone witness your doubt, your mistakes, your humanness.

The irony is, the more you chase perfection, the lonelier you become. People can only connect with what is real, and when you hold yourself to impossible standards, you create distance not just from others, but from yourself.

True freedom isn’t found in perfection—it’s found in allowing yourself to be seen as you are. In trusting that your worth isn’t tied to how flawless you appear, but to the depth, warmth and authenticity you bring to the world. The bravest thing you can do is let go of the mask and believe that even in your messiness, you are lovable, capable, and enough.

If you’re looking to love yourself more and let go of perfectionism — I got you 🧡 I offer 1:1 coaching, human design readings and retreats. Message me 💌

love & positivity ✨ phi

Your heart is home

There is a place within you that knows – knows the truth, knows the way, knows exactly what you need. It isn’t found in the overthinking, the doubting, the endless searching for the right answer.

It lives in the quiet hum and beat of your heart, in the deep breath that softens your ribs, in the warmth that spreads when you allow yourself to feel.

When you drop into your heart, you stop seeking permission. You remember that you were always enough, always worthy, always whole.

Your heart is home. Not the place you grew up in, not the space you’ve been searching for in someone else, not the future you keep telling yourself you’ll arrive at once everything finally makes sense.

Right now, as you are, within you—this is home. A place where you can soften, where you don’t have to prove anything, where love isn’t something you earn but something you are. No matter how far you’ve wandered, how much you’ve given away, or how lost you’ve felt, you have never been without a home. You have always been held by your own heart.

So come home to yourself. Come home to the parts of you that have been waiting to be chosen. To the softness, the fire, the depth of your own being. Let yourself rest in the knowing that you do not need fixing, that you are not too much or not enough—you are whole. You are welcome here. Always.

If you need help coming home and reconnecting with your heart and soul — I’ve got you 🧡I offer 1:1 coaching, human design readings and retreats. Message me for more information.

love & positivity ✨ phi

Echoes of the past

The past doesn’t knock to pull you back; it rings the doorbell just to see if you’ll answer…

Not everything that returns is meant to be reclaimed or restarted. Sometimes, it’s just life checking to see if you still believe in the same stories, still need the same lessons or if you’ve finally stepped beyond them.

Venus retrograde has a way of peeling back the layers, showing you what once felt like love, value or destiny—and asking if it still fits. Does it still truly align with you?

Karma isn’t always about repetition; sometimes, it’s about recognition.

That old spark, that lingering ache, that door you thought was closed for good—it’s all an invitation to see yourself with new eyes. Have you healed or are you still waiting for an apology? Have you grown or are you just more aware of the pattern?

The past doesn’t pull you back; it simply presents itself, waiting to see if you’ll reach for it out of habit or let it pass with a knowing smile.

Not every return is a sign to reopen what was. Some things resurface just to show you how much you’ve changed. Venus retrograde can stir old emotions, lost lovers and forgotten dreams, but its real gift is clarity. What once felt like fate might now feel like closure. What once held your heart might now feel weightless in your hands. The past visits to see if you’re still the same.

So the question is… are you?

love & positivity ✨ phi

Ready to leap beyond the past? I offer 1:1 coaching, human design readings and retreats (Vietnam in May and Bali this August 2025). Message me for more details and let’s chat ☺️

Past lovers, past self…

TRUTH BOMB: You don’t miss them—you miss who you were.

Venus retrograde isn’t just about past lovers; it’s about past versions of you.

The woman who settled for less.

The one who ignored red flags and called it a carnival.

The version of you who spent too much on skincare because she thought glow came in a bottle.

This is a cosmic checkpoint, asking you to pause, reflect, and get real about what you truly desire in love, money and self-worth.

It’s less about rekindling old flames (though that can happen) and more about reclaiming the parts of yourself that you abandoned along the way.

So yes, you might feel the urge to text your ex. Don’t.

Mercury isn’t even retrograde (it will be but not quite yet 😉) so you can’t blame typos or “accidental” messages 🤦🏼‍♀️ and I get it girly you’re longing for attention, touch, whatever that may be…

Instead, ask yourself: is it them you miss, or the version of you that existed in that chapter?

Venus retrograde is here to help you close old loops, not re-enter them.

It’s time to raise your standards, not resurrect situationships ☠️

🌟 Ready to use this retrograde for a real glow-up? Let’s work together to unearth what’s been holding you back — because your next level of love, abundance, and self-worth starts with you.

DM me for more details on 1:1 coaching / human design / retreats ! 💫

love & positivity ✨ phi

Letting go is an act of trust

Letting go isn’t an act of force – it’s an act of trust.

Letting go is often seen as something active—something you do, as if you need to rip something away, cut ties abruptly or force yourself to move on. But this approach can make letting go feel painful, as if you’re prying something from your grasp.

The Unlearning: You don’t have to pry something from your grip; you just have to loosen your hold.

Letting go isn’t an act of force—it’s an act of trust.

It’s choosing to release, to surrender, to soften. It’s allowing what’s meant for you to stay and what’s not to drift away naturally.

We often think that holding on tightly is a sign of strength, but in reality, it’s the opposite. It takes far more strength to loosen your grip and trust the flow of life.

When we hold on—whether it’s to old habits, beliefs, or relationships—we create resistance. We think we’re protecting ourselves, but we’re actually keeping ourselves stuck in a cycle of tension.

Letting go is much harder, because it asks us to trust, to release control, and to believe that we are safe even in the unknown.

The true strength lies in allowing things to evolve naturally, not forcing them to stay the same.

It’s in softening that you find the peace and freedom you’ve been seeking 🌸

This week is all about letting go energetically, for more listen to episode 101 (the newest ep) and 100 on the 🎧 grow through it podcast with phi dang. If you like the concept of unlearning, check out my book 📖 the great unlearning.

love & positivity ✨ phi

I offer 1:1 coaching, human design readings and retreats (Vietnam in May and Bali this August 2025). Message me for more details and let’s chat ☺️

Everyone I loved, needed it…

No revenge, because everyone I loved, needed it.

There is no shame in loving because you have a big heart. Your ability to feel deeply, to give freely and to care without hesitation is a reflection of your strength, not your weakness.

The world often teaches people to be guarded, to love cautiously, to measure their affection so they won’t be hurt—but that’s not how you’re built.

You were made to love in full colour, not in half measures. And while not everyone will be able to meet you there, that doesn’t mean you should shrink yourself or dim the way you love.

You deserve to love someone who is ready for your love, willing to hold it with care and eager to give it back in return. Full reciprocity.

Loving fully should not mean exhausting yourself on people who cannot or will not meet you halfway. Your heart is precious, and the right person will see that—not as something to take advantage of, but as something to cherish.

The love you give should feel like a safe place, not a battlefield. It should be met with open arms, not unanswered questions.

So keep loving, but love wisely.

Let your heart remain open, but not at the cost of your peace. If someone cannot meet you where you stand, let them go with grace, knowing that your love is not too much—it’s just not for them.

One day, you will find someone who sees your heart for what it is: a rare and beautiful gift. And when that happens, you’ll realise that every ounce of love you ever gave was never wasted—it was simply preparing you for the right one 🤍

love & positivity ✨ phi

this reel was inspired by the lovely @owen.unruh aligning with my own personal work I’ve been doing — I love the divine; universe; synchronicities… alignment.

Ready to experience more love in your life? Within yourself or maybe even romantically? I’d love to help.

I offer 1:1 coaching, human design readings and retreats (Vietnam in May and Bali this August 2025). Message me for more details and let’s chat ☺️

They say women “peak” in their 20’s…

hey say women peak in their 20s. Supposedly everything goes down hill from there especially in terms of your beauty, “value” and “worth.”

LOL.

Ridiculous.

The glow up truly starts from within.

In all honesty let’s be real.

You are wiser in your 30s.

You are wealthier in your 30s.

And it shows. In your energy. How you carry yourself. How you value yourself. How you invest in yourself. Yes your appearance too. Your relationships. Your surroundings.

Aging isn’t something to fear—it’s something to step into.

I still look back and love myself before my journey and my first headshots when I started my business baby phi 🥹

I share this because so many women feel the weight of turning 30especially during their Saturn return or think that happiness only comes from being in a relationship, as if time is running out.

But what if getting older isn’t about loss, but gaining?

You can see it in your energy, the way you move through the world differently than you did in your early twenties.

Growth shapes you.

The real glow up isn’t about looking younger—it’s about becoming someone who feels at home in her own skin.

Investing in yourself, whether through rest, education, coaching, or travel, isn’t frivolous; it’s foundational.

Every time you choose to pour into yourself, you soften the fear of aging and replace it with excitement for what’s ahead. Life isn’t about clinging to youth—it’s about stepping fully into your power.

So let this be your reminder: your best years aren’t behind you.

They’re in the expansion, the depth, the knowing that comes from growing into the woman you’re meant to be. The secret to radiance isn’t resisting change —it’s embracing it.

Here’s to aging 🦋

love & positivity ✨ phi

I offer 1:1 coaching, human design readings and retreats (Vietnam in May and Bali this August 2025). Message me for more details and let’s chat ☺️

Leaving unaligned relationships

How my brain and inner child sound after leaving an unaligned relationship, doing the inner work, travelling the world, becoming more successful and wiser, living happily in peace, drama free…

Have you ever felt the pull to leave an unaligned relationship? It could be a romantic partner, a friend or even a family member.

You feel that inner knowing deep down that staying is only holding you back from your true potential.

You feel the urge to step away and trust that you deserve so much more.

But with that shift comes the need for deep inner work 🔨

The kind of healing that doesn’t happen overnight but builds a foundation for your next chapter. It’s in this space that you begin to reclaim the power of choice, of clarity, of knowing that the decisions you make from here on out will honour aaaalll parts of you.

Sometimes, the inner work feels heavy, unlearning… peeling back layers that you never even knew existed.

You face fears, confront your past, and allow yourself to be vulnerable. But as exhausting as it may be, it’s also incredibly rewarding.

When you start doing this work, you realise that growth isn’t about avoiding pain or seeking constant excitement—it’s about leaning into the discomfort, the transformation, and realising that peace comes not from external circumstances but from within.

Yet, let’s be real: this journey might feel boring at times. When the noise dies down, and the chaos of drama subsides, life can seem too quiet. But that’s the beauty of it—peace.

When you get to a place where you can just breathe, without all the external drama and distraction, you tap into something more profound.

Life is no longer about the highs and lows but about finding contentment in simplicity.

Peace is not a destination, but the feeling you cultivate when you finally embrace yourself and trust the path unfolding ahead.

Here’s to your inner peace my love 🧡

If you’re looking for help and support with this, I’ve got you. I offer 1:1 coaching, human design readings and retreats (Vietnam May, Bali in Aug). Get in touch for more information.

love & positivity ✨ phi

📖 The Great Unlearning
🎧 The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang

Life Lessons