Month: January 2021

  • 12: Understanding Your Negative Emotions

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    Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 12: Understanding Your Negative Emotions

    This episode gets real on negative emotions despite society where we avoid negativity and put up a front of positivity always. Learn about why you have negative emotions and how you create negativity in your mind. We also delve into practical tips and strategies on how to be less negative.

    What you'll learn from this episode

    • Why we feel negative emotions
    • How you create negativity in your mind
    • The role and impact of attention and focus on negativity
    • An instant life hack on being less negative
    • How a simple shift in mindset can change your perspective on negativity

    Key Quotes from this Episode

    Now when you understand that your thoughts determine your reality, you can understand how to make yourself feel certain emotions, you can generate how you want to feel.

    Phi Dang

    Energy flows where focus goes.

    Phi Dang

    You can focus on emotions you don’t want or focus on emotions you do want.

    Phi Dang

    Featured Resources on the episode

    The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 12: Understanding Your Negative Emotions

    You are listening to Episode 12 of the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang: Understanding Your Negative Emotions.

    [Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]:

    Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.

    Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.

    My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.”

    My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything.

    Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose.

    This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.

    Ready to grow? Let’s grow!

    [Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro]

    [Episode 12 – Understanding Your Negative Emotions Begins]

    Hi Beautiful Soul, so glad you’re here. 

    I want to start this episode with flagging I’m recording in a new location for the podcast so there may be a little background noise a car and bird chip here or there but I didn’t want that to stop me from recording and releasing a new podcast for you.

    Genuinely I usually record in a my clothes wardrobe nook but I’ve been barred from that because my boyfriend is currently ill and so I’m in the office recording it.

    A wardrobe nook – yes it’s actually the best place to record because it keeps all the sound insular and all my clothes muffles background noise. A sneak peak into life now – I love it because one day I know I’ll have my own pro podcasting room in the future – it’s on my manifestation list.  

    How are you doing today? Really how are you doing?

    I have something to confess I had a whole other episode scripted and ready to go but an immense wave of grief hit me.

    It was as to no surprise for it was my dad’s birthday the other day, he would have been in his late sixties.

    It was such a wave of grief that I truly struggled, I felt very low and I have to say every day I cried. 

    Now? I feel okay. I’m good and it’s because through self development and having a coach myself I have learnt to navigate negative emotions. 

    To add to this, this time, last year, whilst I also cried I didn’t feel as low, I was feeling quite upbeat and positive.

    And that’s emotions for you.

    They are waves, they’ll always go up and down, some will be high and low, other times still and flat.

    One thing is for sure, in life you will always be navigating emotions and negativity more often than not given our brain is negatively biased to protect us.

     

    Getting real on social media - the truth about positivity

    As a life coach and as someone with a large community of over 10,000 followers on Instagram – I have made a commitment to myself, my clients and community to always be honest and true. That is to not pretend on social media and in real life that life is all sunshine, rainbows and unicorns because it’s not.

    On social media there is a facade of perfection we put up highly stylised images, we always look happy, in fact we curate so much of it. What images we select, how we portray ourselves and somewhere along the line some of us have believed that it’s real.

    Always happy, always camera ready, always positive. I stand for positivity, authenticity and integrity. To be true. To show you when I feel the lows – what it’s really like and it is sometimes a chaotic mess, a roller coaster. Even as someone is known as the Positivity Queen, I still feel negative sometimes because I am human and positivity doesn’t exclude negativity exclusively. 

    I’ll repeat that again because that’s an important distinction: positivity doesn’t exclude negativity. They require each other. More on that later.

    There’s a misconception as a life coach that all we preach is being happy and positive all the time however that’s not the case. As a life coach I teach my clients to feel the full spectrum of their emotions and practical tools and strategies to understand and navigate their emotions.

    Let it also be known even when you learn tools and strategies, how your mind works though brain based coaching there will still be times you feel negative.

    I have talked to people and have clients who you would think have perfect lives on the outside but on the inside it’s a different reality. Don’t let appearances or social media fool you. 

    Social media along with the media in general – TV shows, movies, radio has somehow led us all to believe that we are always so happy farting rainbows and glitter or that sadness is glamourised in this aching, cool way.

    I want to talk about what other people don’t talk about or are scared to and that is negative emotions because we all go through it.

    So let’s get real on negative emotions on understanding them and owning them.

    Negativity by default

    When I first start working with clients, a lot of the time they think they are just negative by default which is true. Yes. Humans have a negative bias which is evolutionary to keep us safe, being negative compelled us into instant action in an immediate return environment.

    Rustle in the bushes defaults to dangerous animal, take instant action flee which means you are safe. Interpret the rustle as just wind meant no action meant potential of death if that was in fact a dangerous animal.

    For more on this concept, listen to Episode 10 of the Podcast, How to be a Warrior Not Worrier.

    How you create negativity is through your thoughts

    Now acknowledging we have a negative bias, we create our own negativity through our thoughts.

    The world is nothing but neutral circumstances, it is our thinking that determines our feelings of positivity or negativity.

    For example, rain on a weekend is a natural circumstance. 

    Your thinking would determine if that’s a positive or negative, on person may jump to a negative because they can no longer have a picnic outside whereas someone else sees it as a positive – they don’t have to water the plans outside.

    So bring awareness and to attention to your thoughts. How do they create your reality?

    Negativity isn’t only created by overt thoughts in your mind, negativity creeps in through subtle ways.

    Judging others. Criticising others. Shaming. Jumping to conclusions…

    “That won’t work for me”

    “I can’t do that”

    “I don’t like”

    “I’m too tired”

    “It’s too hard” 

    “I’ve never been able to”

    And of course the number 1 way negativity builds in to your life: Complaining.

    Try cutting out complaining for one whole day and see how you feel.

    Now when you understand that Your thoughts determine your reality, you can understand how to make yourself feel certain emotions, you can generate how you want to feel.

    Is it easy? No. Is it possible, yes.

    The impact of attention and focus on negativity

    Energy flows where focus goes. 

    Simply put, focus on the negative and you have a negative mindset. Focus on the positive and you have a positive mindset.

    You can focus on the fact how much you hate mint ice cream or focus on how much you love honeycomb.

    You can focus on everything that’s going wrong in your life or focus on everything that is going right in your life.

    You can focus on emotions you don’t want or focus on emotions you do want.

    Don’t just focus on what you want, find what you want.

    Find something everyday to be positive about.

    Have an open mind, allow yourself to feel positive. Look at kids, they are always so open and get ridiculously happy and excited about what we consider the small things: sand, waves, puppies, butterflies, being outside…

    Why it's hard not to be negative

    For many it’s easy to be negative – to criticise, to dismiss, to be skeptical. It’s harder to consciously and intentionally to do the work to be positive – to acknowledge the good, to purposely change your thoughts. Thinking on purpose requires relentless consistency and it can be exhausting. You have to catch yourself having the thoughts and not only decide to change but to do the work to make the change happen.

    It’s like what Socrates says “the secret to change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but building the new.”

    It doesn’t help that your brain is also lazy but it’s understandable it takes up so much energy on a subconscious level you don’t even realise. The brain is pumping your blood around your body, breathing automatically, blinking automatically… it can’t help but be a bit lazy and want to do things efficiently.

    It’s easier for your brain to give into the negativity, to wallow even though it knows if it does the work it can be more positive. The thoughts you’ve been thinking repeatedly are so comfortable and easy like taking the same route to work everyday vs trying a new one which many cut down minutes off your commute but that involves energy, effort and time upfront. 

    Thought work on negativity

    https://phidang.com/05-river-of-misery/You can even get caught in a place where you catch your thoughts, you intellectually understand you are having a negative thought but you feel stuck because you feel like you can’t change it. That’s the real catch you can. You only can’t at this moment because you believe the thought, that because you thought it, it must be real and you aren’t open to other possibilities such as the thought isn’t true or that the thought isn’t a fact or maybe even that you are wrong (oh hello ego!). More on this on Episode 5, River of Misery. 

    All of the thought work it takes to overcome negativity requires tiny leaps of faith. To be willing to feel your emotions and realise it won’t kill you and that you could be wrong. To be willing to do the work knowing it feels terrible right now but will become easier and second nature like working out. Lifting the weights feels impossible and heavy at first, but over time with consistent practice, it becomes effortless until it’s time to reach the next level.

    Negativity isn't all bad, negativity serves a purpose

    https://phidang.com/03-beyond-the-law-of-attraction-the-12-universal-laws/I’ll let you ponder on that for a moment whilst I state the fact that negativity itself isn’t all bad, in fact it serves a purpose.

    Positivity doesn’t exist without negativity.

    Light doesn’t exist without dark.

    It’s Ying and Yang, the law of correspondence (more on that on Episode 3 Beyond the Law of Attraction, the 12 Universal Laws).

    How would we know happiness without sadness?

    What would life be to you if you were only happy all the time?

    Negativity raises our self awareness and like our cave man ancestors it drives us to take action.

    If we feel unhappy it forces us to look at our lives, to see what we want and don’t want, to drive us to create an intentional life where we are being our must truest and authentic selves. 

    Resisting negativity makes life harder and more negative

    Negativity has become a huge force that messes with our minds nowadays because we cocoon ourselves in double negativity.

    We make it more negative by resisting.

    I’m not meant to feel negative.

    I can’t feel negative.

    I shouldn’t feel negative.

    These negative thoughts mean there’s something wrong with me.

    Think about if if you are already feeling negative and then judge yourself on being negative, you are in a double negative situation.

    It’s unnecessary for you to beat yourself up about feeling negative because it doesn’t help.

    In fact the more you resist, the more it persists. 

    I think about waves. Imagine how much harder it is to swim against the current and tide as opposed to just going along with it and seeing where it takes you.

    How does it feel to resist as opposed to allow.

    Allow feels much nicer for me, much calmer. My mind is at peace. 

    The energy is completely different. 

    Most of us don’t allow our emotions, we don’t feel it the full way through so it’s weird sometimes we don’t actually know how it fully feels. We resist which creates suffering, we get scared of the suffering, we future predict all the discomfort we will feel and we resist.

    Instead of resisting and wanting yourself to be positive, can you find the neutral ground?

    Neutralising negativity, the first step to being less negative

    For example if you think you’re not good enough, it takes a huge leap to suddenly say I am the most amazing person but it’s much easier to have a neutral thought like “I don’t feel good enough right now and that’s okay. I am human”.

    That thought is more neutral, there is acceptance in there and the thought opens up possibilities to the fact hey maybe I’m not good enough isn’t true. 

    It’s like on a scale going from a -5 to a -3, that in itself is progress. 

    Try it! It’s like an instant life hack, allow the thought, drop the I should feel this instead or I shouldn’t feel this or it should be different and the edge of suffering melts away. 

    Allowing over resisting.

    If there was a free voucher for bungee jumping it’s much easier for someone who loves heights and adrenaline to take it up then someone who is terrified of heights.

    Allowing over resisting. 

    Allowing is tolerating. Yes there may still be slight discomfort like an ache or headache but that’s okay. It won’t kill you. You will live, you can go on with life.

    Negativity can become automatic

    That’s the funny thing about our minds. It automatically jumps to the conclusion and equates negativity with suffering.

    It makes sense.

    If every time you ate carrot cake and felt sick, your mind equates carrot cake to making you have a bad reaction, that’s your only experience at current. 

    This is the same with feeling negativity automatically makes you suffer.

    However imagine we found out that it was the flour making you sick and replace it with gluten free flour. At first your mind will still be like no i’m not eating the carrot cake, every time I do it makes me sick. It’s understandable because your mind has never had the experience that carrot cake won’t make you sick. Your brain panics and resists the new carrot cake.

    It takes a little tiny leap of faith knowing that this new cake won’t because it has gluten free flour. Once you do you realise oh I don’t feel sick and it’s okay.

    That’s the same with allowing yourself to feel your negative emotions. You think it will be awful but in reality its okay. It’s uncomfortable, it’s hard but you are capable. You can feel hard things. 

    Approaching negativity with curiosity

    To make this process easier, shift your mindset from one of judgement of yourself for the emotions you have to curiosity.

    Sit with the emotions, welcome them, get curious to see what emotions mean.

    What are they telling you about what is going on in your life?

    How can you see your emotions as an ally not a foe?

    How can you learn and grow from the current emotions at present? 

    The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 12: Understanding Your Negative Emotions

    If it’s one thing you practice from this podcast is to try allowing over resisting.

    If you’re listening along and thinking “I’m so sick of having negative thoughts on repeat all the time”

    Do you identify yourself as a negative person and feel stuck and helpless, as if you will be negative for the rest of your life?

    Do you want to wake up feeling confident and assured that no matter what happens you will be able to handle it?

    If you are, let’s chat visit my website phidang.com or DM me on Instagram @thephidang because I can help.

    I’ve gone from the depths of anxiety, depression and grief to someone who is able to navigate the hardest of emotions from the grief of losing my dad at the age of 20 and experiencing life in negativity and being numb and emotionless.

    I can teach you how to rewire your brain for positivity as I do with my clients. I’ve only got 3, 1:1 coaching spots left so get in touch with me now. 

    Enjoy your day beautiful soul, next week’s episode will be the one I actually scripted for this week “Your Brain is a Liar”. It’s an eye opening episode where you realise how often your brain lies to you… Speak to you next Tuesday. Love and positivity.

    [Episode 12 – Understanding Your Negative Emotions]

    Are you wanting to find out more about 1:1 Coaching or working with me? Maybe perhaps you want to know more about me. I’d love to connect with you. You can visit my website phidang.com or connect with me on Instagram @thephidang. Speak to you soon.

    Click here to read more

  • 11: Bringing Awareness To Your Inner Child

    Podcast: Play in new window | Download

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | RSS

    Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 11: Bringing Awareness To Your Inner Child

    This episode brings to your attention your inner child – the most innocent and pure essence of who you are. We delve into why the way you are today and how an inner child can be wounded. The episode also discusses your personal responsibility to work on and heal your inner child.

    What you'll learn from this episode

    • How the inner child impacts your life now as an adult
    • What is the inner child
    • Ways an inner child becomes wounded

    Key Quotes from this Episode

    The cry we hear from deep in our hearts comes from the wounded child within.

    Thich Nhat Hanh

    Whilst you can’t change your genetics or the past, you have the power to change now.

    Phi Dang

    Doing work on your inner child is coming home to you.

    Phi Dang

    Featured Resources on the episode

    The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 11: Bringing Awareness To Your Inner Child

    You are listening to episode 11 of the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang: Bringing Awareness To Your Inner Child.

    [Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]:

    Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.

    Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.

    My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.”

    My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything.

    Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose.

    This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.

    Ready to grow? Let’s grow!

    [Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro]

    [Episode 11 – Bringing Awareness To Your Inner Child Begins]

    Hello beautiful soul, I’m so excited to bring to you another episode of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang. 

    Today’s episode requires going back in time. Back in time to when you were a child.

    Bet you hadn’t thought about that in a while right? How long ago was that for you?

    It’s interesting as adults we hardly revisit or think about ourselves as a child. 

    By child – the full spectrum from the early years of our life to when we hit puberty to when we become an independent adult.

    Psychologically so much of who we are has been shaped by these early years of life.

    What’s prompted this episode is the work I’ve been doing with a few of my clients.

    We are exploring how the inner child can impact who we are today.

    It shows up in relationships – our fears and what keeps us from being open and vulnerable. For my clients its manifested in feeling like you need someone to complete you, to save you, that everything in your life will be instantly better when you are in a relationship. It shows up in anger and resenting a partner for not meeting your needs, feeling the need to be the caretaker or parent of your partner and being scared of rejection and abandonment.

    It shows up in our belief systems – a client recalls how her parents migrating to Australia have shaped her view of what it means to have a job, career particularly as a woman. Another on how it’s shaped the way she sees money, how hard it can be to make money, how money always feels scarce even when it’s not. Fears around investing money and spending money.

    What is the inner child? What does inner child mean?

    The term inner child is an archetype that stems from famous psychologist Carl Jung. 

    He rejected the idea that we come into this world with a blank slate and have a ‘predestined primordial image’ derived from the collective unconscious.

    Nowadays when it comes to the inner child, it refers to the unconscious sub-personality in our early years of life. This inner child develops from the world around us. At young ages we are like sponges soaking in everything especially based on our parents or caregivers. The absence of this also shapes how we develop.

    When we want to understand ourselves deeper, to understand why we are the way we are by default, to understand our triggers that unleash that ‘child like’ behaviour e.g. tantrums, running away, hiding – we must reconnect with our inner child.

    The inner child is the essence of who you are. Your inner child is so pure and innocent. 

    You only have to look at a child to understand why.

    Children have so much joy, they beam, they smile, laugh and play.

    They are fearless, they go into the world with such an openness – to experience the world, to have adventures, to unleash their creativity. They are so open, honest and curious. A child is a true free spirit.

    Children fully express themselves whether its joy, anger or sadness. They feel deeply and are sensitive. They crave affection, attention, connection, love and safety. 

    Our inner child is vulnerable. Children depend on others to ensure their survival. Children look to others to understand the world and how to behave – what to do, what not to do. As children we are malleable to outside forces.

    Inner Child Wounding

    Sometimes and the majority of us will experience our inner child being wounded. 

    Our wounded inner child is the part or parts of us that feels ashamed, left behind, neglected, unseen, abused, the something I can’t quite pick is wrong with me.

    Global spiritual leader Thich Nhat Hanh encapsulates the wound energy well,
    “The cry we hear from deep in our hearts comes from the wounded child within.”

    Common occurrences that cause wounds include but are not limited to:

    • You were taught it’s not okay to have your own opinions
    • Being told you need to make your parents happy
    • You got punished for speaking up or acting of your own free will and accord
    • Being told that sex is bad and sinful
    • You were taught not to show emotions, to keep things to yourself
    • Having fun and playing were discouraged
    • Being shamed, criticised and punished
    • Feeling responsible, having to grow up quicker to be an adult to care for your parents or siblings
    • Having affection withheld such as hugs, kisses, cuddles, compliments, support, engagement

    The neglect which causes wounds to the inner child stems from parents and caregivers when they:

    • Invalidating your emotions – you can’t feel that, you shouldn’t feel that leading to self doubt
    • Unreasonably high expectations and always comparing you to other children leading to always comparing yourself to others and jealousy
    • Not having your physical needs met of safety and nourishment. It doesn’t just mean not having food and water, it encompasses forms of abuse which lead to low self esteem, eating disorders, self harm, addictions, violence and sexual dysfunction.
    • Not meeting needs of support, respect and love can lead to low self worth, repression of emotions, ignoring your own needs, depression, anxiety, fear of intimacy
    • Psychological neglect through name calling, insults, yelling, gaslighting, threatening causing deep seated feelings of anger, trouble having a healthy relationship, difficulty with self love and loving to name a few

    How your parents or caregivers influence and impact your inner child

    Now yes it is highly shaped by your parents or whoever took care of you. 

    It’s not to say to blame and get angry at your parents but more to bring awareness and understanding to who you are and your inner child.

    Most parents have the intention of doing their best to raise their child and children. That does not mean they are perfect, no one is, perfection is impossible. It does not mean they are bad parents, they did the best they could under circumstances. Often parents relive out parenting styles they experienced as child and this passes on from generation to generation.

    I recently spoke with a client on this and shared with him that whilst to understand why you are they way you are based on your inner child and upbringing is wonderful and a step in the right direction – it’s not okay to remain a ‘child’ to continue blaming your parents. When you continue to hold the blame on your parents, you are returning to the wounded child mindset.

    You are not entitled to have your parents or anyone fix you. You are responsible for yourself as an adult. 

    Now that you are an adult, a conscious adult, it’s your personal responsibility to do the work and reparent himself. To be the adult you needed as a child. To step up and become the person you want to be. To not just sit back and blame, to stand up and take action.

    Amongst well intended parents, there are also parents who are absent, parents who were severely underprepared for children, abusive parents, narcissistic parents, controlling parents, parents paralysed by perfection – different types of parents who shape who you are.

    Healing your inner child is your responsibility

    No matter what – this holds universally true.

    That does not determine and set who you are.

    Whilst you can’t change your genetics or the past, you have the power to change now. You are safe and strong. You can heal your inner child with great love and compassion.

    As an adult now, to understand who we are and to take action is to learn how to reparent yourself. To be the adult you needed as a child.

    These wounds charge us into protection mode. We are always looking out for ourselves and danger. 

    Now this will bring out my inner Harry Potter nerd (which I happened to love as a child) – the visual representation I imagine is from the Harry Potter world, particularly in the film Fantastic Beasts embodied by the character Credence played by Ezra Miller. An uncontrollable dark unstable force that attacks then vanishes. It lashes out of repression, it feels ‘dark’ and ‘parasitic’.

    We put up walls and get defensive behind our armour and masks. We protect instead of connecting.

    As a child, it is not your fault that you were wounded as a child

    It’s not your fault that you were wounded as a child.

    As a child, it was never your fault that you felt unloved.

    As a child, it was never your fault that you weren’t comfortable in your own skin.

    As a child, it was never your fault that you weren’t able to fully express yourself.

    As a child, it was never your fault that you didn’t have a safe environment to grow up in.

    As a child, it was never your fault that your parents weren’t together or broke up.

    As a child, it was never your fault that your parents weren’t there for you.

    As a child, it was never your responsibility to care for, heal or fix your parents. 

    As children we learn what we live.

    Doing the work on your inner child

    Doing work on your inner child is coming home to you.

    All of you.

    The whole of you.

    The inner child often hijacks adult relationships. I personally become aware of my inner child from the work I did delving into my dating and relationship patterns and experiences.

    Understanding why I had an anxious attachment style previously, craving love and looking for it outside of myself – making it someone’s responsibility when really it was mine.

    This is common. The attachment patterns you formed as a child are often mirrored in your adult relationships too. A secure attachment styles is a result from having a parent who was responsive to your needs and emotionally available.

    What you need to remember is that when it comes to healing your inner child is that it starts with you and only you.

    Don’t fall for the Disney fairytale or movie fairytales, this is not Sleeping Beauty. 

    No Prince or Princess Charming is coming to rescue and save you. You are your own hero. 

    The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 11: Bringing Awareness To Your Inner Child Close

    If you are interested in exploring your inner child in a safe and support space with guidance, if you are interested in learning practical ways to reconnect with your inner child and reparent yourself, please book a complementary session with me on my website phidang.com or via my Instagram @thephidang.

    This brings a close to episode 11: Bringing Awareness to the Inner Child. I hope you reconnect with your inner child today and explore how your inner child has shaped who you are. I’ll speak to you next Tuesday beautiful soul as usual. Love and Positivity. 

    [Episode 11 – Bringing Awareness To Your Inner Child]

     

    Are you wanting to find out more about 1:1 Coaching or working with me? Maybe perhaps you want to know more about me. I’d love to connect with you. You can visit my website phidang.com or connect with me on Instagram @thephidang. Speak to you soon.

    Click here to read more

  • 10: How to be a Warrior not a Worrier

    Podcast: Play in new window | Download

    Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | RSS

    Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 10: How to be a Warrior not a Worrier

    Learn the biological and evolutionary reason as to why you worry. Find out what it means to have a warrior mindset in addition to practical ways you can be a warrior not a worrier.

    What you'll learn from this episode

    • The biological and evolutionary reason why humans worry
    • What a warrior mindset means
    • Practical strategies to be a warrior not a worrier

    Key Quotes from this Episode

    Don’t let others or society define it for you, figure out what success is for you.

    Phi Dang

    Don’t let others or society define it for you, figure out what success is for you.

    Phi Dang

    Don’t let others or society define it for you, figure out what success is for you.

    Phi Dang

    Featured Resources on the episode

    The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 10: How to be a Warrior not a Worrier

    You are listening to episode 10 of the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang: How to be a Warrior not Worrier.

    [Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]:

    Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.

    Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.

    My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.”

    My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything.

    Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose.

    This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.

    Ready to grow? Let’s grow!

    [Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro]

    [Episode 10 – How to Create and Have Success in 2021 Begins]

    Hello beautiful souls! How are you going today? So happy to have you join me on another episode of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.

    It’s been a busy start to 2021 for me with all things coaching and I wanted to shout out some of the incredible wins my clients are having.

    Shout out to M, after one week of coaching we are already seeing huge shifts. When we first spoke, he described feeling numb when it came to dating women and he’s already called in a second date with a lovely lady who’s stirred some feelings within him!

    Shout out to J, a long time client who I recently reconnected with, he is continuing to work through his journey of his past with his family and past relationships. He’s recently opened up new perspectives after feeling very stuck for the last couple of years.

    Shout out to another J, a new client who after one session she’s put into practice her insights from our session and made 3 new groups of friends and did a huge social media clean up, the final step of letting go of her recent break up and channeling all of that time and energy to herself and her growth. All amazing wins I am so happy to share!

    If you are thinking about working with me, I’d love to chat and be shouting out your inevitable wins on the podcast sometime soon too! Details in show notes as usual or you can connect with me on my website phidang.com or instagram @thephidang.

     

    On worry in relation to your family and self

    Today’s episode is titled “How to be a warrior, not a worrier”. I saw this quote online and it really resonated with me. It’s a gem of a quote and shifts your mindset to one of power and confidence – that is something that I am all about. 

    My parents, particularly my mum, used to worry about me and I feel this was exacerbated by the fact that I am an only child.They would worry about life in general – what’s going on in the world, reading newspapers daily and watching the news every night including all weather updates, having enough money to pay bills, being safe from danger (stay away from this, don’t do that) and so forth. The constant worrying was most certainly passed down to myself as a personality trait. 

    I still do worry from time to time but to be honest I don’t really any more as I have full faith and confidence in myself and my capabilities. However rewind time to even 3 or 4 years ago, when I was younger I used to worry a lot.

    Will he like me? Will I be alone forever? Will anyone want to date me?

    Will I pass this test? Will I get this job? Will I be stuck in this job forever?

    Is my outfit okay? Will people notice this on my face?
    Am I really sick? Will I die? Do I have cancer? Is what I have something that has no cure? 

    If I spend this money, will I get my money’s worth? What if I wasted my money?

    And the list goes on… in fact sometimes I would end up in worry loops about worry!

    Am I worrying too much? Worrying doesn’t help and I logically know that so why am I worrying? Is something wrong with me? And then it loops round and round.

    Are you nodding your head along? Your parents worried a lot? You worry a lot? There’s an actual reason as to why this is. Humans are wired to worry. Worrying is a part of human biology and human evolution.

    The biological and evolutionary reason why you worry and why humans worry

    Worrying itself is not a problem, in fact worrying serves a purpose: to keep you safe and process potential threats. Worrying is a problem when it interferes with your life, is acutely intense and lasts longer than it usually does for you. 

    The theories of immediate-return environment and the delayed return environment are used to explain why humans worry.

    Immediate-return environment

    Humans used to live in an immediate-return environment, 500 years ago – In reference to time and history, 500 years is relatively recent.

    Our worries were immediate in nature as cavemen lived a hunter-gatherer lifestyle. Worrying was very useful in the moment as it helped us take action in the moment rather than later for survival. 

    Your stomach grumbles > you feel worried about food > you find food > your worry is relieved.

    Your mouth feels parched and dry > you haven’t drunk enough water today > you feel worried and dehydrated > you find water > your worry is relieved

    You hear a storm brewing > you worry about getting wet and being cold > you find shelter > your worry is relieved.

    You feel cold > you worry about dying > you light a fire > your worry is relieved.

    All of the actions you take deliver immediate results, gratification and therefore you lived in the present moment.

    In fact animals still live in an immediate-return environment. As Duke University professor Mark Leary put it, “A deer may be startled by a loud noise and take off through the forest, but as soon as the threat is gone, the deer immediately calms down and starts grazing. And it doesn’t appear to be tied in knots the way that many people are.”

    Delayed return environment

    Nowadays we live in a delayed return environment where our decisions don’t immediately benefit us in in the moment.

    Some examples for you. 

    When you work, you get paid either fortnightly or monthly. When you work hard, you don’t get promoted immediately, you do after hitting your key performance indicators over time.

    If you save money now, you’ll have enough for when you retire later in life.

    When you start exercising and eating healthier foods, you’ll see results over time, you don’t lose weight or get fit immediately. 

    The nature of a delayed return environment results in uncertainty as a great source of worry. There are no guarantees to most things we do and in fact most of the choices we make today won’t immediately benefit us. 

    Going to school and university doesn’t guarantee you’ll get a job.

    Going on a date doesn’t mean you will meet the one, your soul mate. 

    Investing in stocks, doesn’t guarantee you’ll make returns. 

    Put simply, our brain is not designed to solve the problems of a delayed return environment. Our environment and way of living has changed rapidly, but our brains have not. Our brain hasn’t evolved to live in a delayed return environment.

    Now you know the biological and evolutionary reason as to why we worry, let’s talk about being a warrior not a worrier.

    What is the Warrior mindset?

    Before I share how you can be a warrior, not a warrior, let me set up the stage, what is the warrior persona?

    A warrior triumphs whereas a worrier cowers. A warrior has the rock solid, unshakable belief in them-self. They know how to handle anything that comes their way. A warrior is brave, they are not afraid of the unknown and even if they are, they put themselves out there. They confront and face their fears. They are not scared of challenges because they know they will rise to the challenge. In fact, warriors embrace all opportunities to grow because they know they have so much to gain. Warriors win massive wars, by focusing on winning one small battle at a time.

    Now we’ve established the warrior persona, I’m going to share 5 ways how you can be a warrior not a worrier.

    5 ways on how to be a Warrior not a Worrier

    1. Recognise that behind every emotion including worry, lies a thought.

    Your emotions are a result of your thoughts. Therefore if you want to change your emotions, you have to change your thoughts. 

    Bring awareness to your thoughts. Consciously choose to accept and run with a thought or reject and deny a thought. 

    Slice through unhelpful thoughts like a warrior with your sword of evidence. 

    Our thoughts are often stories or assumptions we create so question the thought – is there factual evidence to support this thought or am I making something up?

    2. Focus on what you can control and accept what you cannot change.

    I have two great exercises to share with you to help. The first is the dichotomy of control circles.


    On a piece of paper you draw two circles. The first being what you can control and the second being what you can’t control. No point worrying about what you can’t control because nothing you do will influence it. A super simple exercise.

    The second exercise I have for you to be a warrior and not a worrier is the circles of control. On a piece of paper draw a giant circle, a circle within that and a small circle within that. All in all it looks like a bullseye.

    The centre is what you can control – the circle of control. This is all within you that you can directly control such as your thoughts, your behaviour, your attitude, your effort, your energy, your actions and so forth.

    The circle outside the centre circle is the circle of influence, what you can influence such as your network and relationships. Emphasis on influence – you can’t make or force it. For example you can talk to the people you know and try convince someone, if you’re looking at a promotion you can influence this by building strong relationships with colleagues, putting yourself out there for more projects to take on and so forth.

    The largest is everything else outside of your control and influence. For example things like a global pandemic like coronavirus, the weather, strangers you don’t know, traffic, the economy, policies, the media and so forth.

    Onto the third way to be a warrior and not worrier.

    3. Be strategic, have a game plan and take action.

    Always be prepared. Identify what worries you and create a solution to the worry. It’s not enough to just create the game plan, you also have to take action.

    For example, if you are worried about getting a job, create an actionable plan on how to get a job. Chunk it down so it’s not overwhelming. For example if you want to get a job you need to apply for jobs. In order to apply for jobs you need a cover letter and resume. Start there! When you break it down it’s not so intimidating. 

    Another example is if you are worried you won’t have a partner, create an actionable plan on how to get a partner. In order to have a partner, you need to go on dates. In order to go on dates, you need to meet people. People are candidates for partners. How do you meet people? You can do that by going outside your house or within your home through applications and websites.

    A game plan also involves having coping strategies for worry such as setting aside time to worry such as 10 minutes then moving on as an example and a support network you can turn to when it becomes all overwhelming.

    If you need help creating a personalised game plan, strategies to cope and support, let’s chat. I work with clients to create a specific, actionable plan with clear steps that can be measured in order to achieve their goals. 

    Whether that’s getting a promotion, changing jobs, finding a partner, becoming an entrepreneur to make money online – anything is possible. A life coach is all about life! Just to add, not many people know that as part of my coaching, you’ll have access to me Monday to Friday so I can answer any questions or concerns that pop up along your journey to hitting your goals and up levelling your self! 

    4. Believe in yourself

    You are an amazing person. You’ve gone through so many hard things, times you didn’t think you would make it yet here you are. 

    This wasn’t by accident or change, this is because of you. You are strong, you are smart, you are capable and you are resilient. You know how to overcome obstacles and challenges.

    In fact when a worry comes up, repeat this mantra: I am a warrior, not a warrior.

    5. Work on your strength

    I mean strength physically and in your mind.

    It’s well known that exercise can alleviate anxiety. Exercises alleviates stress, provides a beneficial distraction and boosts your feel good endorphins. The high from accomplishing exercise will fuel you to conquer not only workout but whatever else is on your mind too. Physically you’ll even start to take the form of a warrior by getting super fit.

    Mentally, to work on your strength is to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Do something small everyday that makes you feel uncomfortable to work on your mental strength such as running for an extra 5 minutes to keep your heart-rate going or try a cold shower!

    The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 10: How to be a Warrior not a Worrier - Close

    To wrap it all up there are 5 ways to be a warrior not a worrier.

    1. Recognise that behind every emotion including worry, lies a thought.

    2. Focus on what you can control and accept what you cannot change.

    3. Be strategic, have a game plan and take action.

    4. Believe in yourself

    5. Work on your strength

    Be a warrior not a worrier! Every warrior has their teacher, so if you’re looking for your teacher, it would be an honour to be your teacher. 

    Thank you so much for joining me today beautiful souls. If you’ve enjoyed listening along, I would appreciate you sharing this with your friends or leaving a review, it would really help me to spread the word on personal development. 

    I’ll catch you next Tuesday with a new episode of the Grow Through It Podcast.

    Love and Positivity.

    [Episode 10 – How to Be a Warrior not  a Worrier Ends]

    Are you wanting to find out more about 1:1 Coaching or working with me? Maybe perhaps you want to know more about me. I’d love to connect with you. You can visit my website phidang.com or connect with me on Instagram @thephidang. Speak to you soon.

    Click here to read more

  • 09: How to Create and Have Success in 2021

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    Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 09: How to Create and Have Success in 2021

    Learn about the #1 Mistake people make when it comes to success in addition to practical tips and strategies on how to create and have success. I also do a Q&A on all things success from how to stay motivated, being successful during times of uncertainty and a lack of resources such as money when it comes to having success.

    What you'll learn from this episode

    • The #1 Mistake People Make When it Comes to Creating Change and Success
    • Why Getting Started is Always the Hardest 
    • Why There is No Such Thing As Success Without Failure
    • How to Achieve Your Goals and Success
    • Habit Stacking
    • How to Prioritise Your Goals and Success
    • How to Stay Motivated To Hit Your Goals
    • How to Achieve Your Goals and Be Successful during Times of Uncertainty
    • How to Achieve Your Goals and Be Successful without Resources such as Money

    Key Quotes from this Episode

    Don’t let others or society define it for you, figure out what success is for you.

    Phi Dang

    The outer world is a reflection of your inner world.

    Phi Dang

    You can create the reality and results you want. But guess what? You aren’t entitled to that without doing the work.

    Phi Dang

    Featured Resources on the episode

    The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 09: How to Create and Have Success in 2021 - Show Transcript

    You are listening to episode 9 of the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang: How to Create and Have Success in 2021.

    [Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]:

    Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.

    Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.

    My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.”

    My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything.

    Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose.

    This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.

    Ready to grow? Let’s grow!

    [Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro]

    [Episode 09 – How to Create and Have Success in 2021 Begins]

    Hello beautiful souls.

    Happy 2021! 

    This is going to be your best year yet, I just know it. 

    If anyone hasn’t told you already, I have full faith in you.

    I have full faith because you are here, listening to the first episode for 2021 of the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang. 

    By doing this, you are intentionally setting time aside for you. 

    To work on yourself, to create success for yourself – so congratulations, I’m proud of you! 

    A mindset open to learning and prioritising their self development and growth is always going to be successful.

    People like you, are the people I love to work with in my 1:1 coaching program. 

    If you are the type of person who loves personal development through books, courses and podcasts and you are ready for the next step, to supercharge and accelerate your growth, let’s chat – I have limited 1:1 coaching spots left for this first quarter of this year as I am so happy to have 3 of you beautiful souls join me last week! 

    Now as you gathered from the title, this podcast is all about creating and having a successful 2021. 

    In this modern day and age, we know that success looks different to everyone, it’s a matter of defining your success. For some it will be money, for others it will be a running a huge marathon.

    Don’t let others or society define it for you, figure out what success is for you.

    When we talk success, in this episode its in the framework of achieving your goals because I know goals are at the top of many people’s minds when it come to a new year.

    Now I also know a lot of other podcasts and all the freebies, motivational speakers and influencers talk about how to create successful goals, for me that’s something that I do with my 1:1 coaching clients as it’s very personal. This podcast will focus more on the journey of achieving goals and your success. 

    So let’s begin.

    The #1 Mistake People Make When it Comes to Creating Change and Success

    I want to lay down for you a foundational base for creating success. To do that I want to first of all address the #1 mistake people make when it comes to creating change based on my experience as a life coach with clients from all over the world.

    People try to change their reality by changing the outside world.

    This is a thought error.

    The outside world is just circumstances.

    Circumstances are neutral.

    The factor that will truly shift and create change for you is your thoughts. 

    Your thoughts cause your feelings.

    Your feelings cause your actions.

    Your actions cause your results.

    So to truly change anything it begins in your thoughts because your thoughts are in your control.

    If you don’t agree with my statement, you have work to do. 

    If you don’t understand why, let’s chat because this is the realm I work within as a life coach.

    Most people go around this world on auto-pilot dangerously in their mind. They believe whatever goes on in their brain and they don’t intentionally choose their thoughts!

    When you don’t intentionally choose your thoughts, you choose to believe the negativity that goes in on your mind that’s formed over years of subconscious programming.

    Then you go around life not knowing why you feel bad on a regular basis and you don’t know what to do with those thoughts. The lines become blurry. You don’t know how to change your thought process or how to process your emotions.

    It’s not a surprise and it’s not your fault. We don’t learn about this at school, at university or even in our jobs.

    We only truly learn about this when we work on ourselves through personal development, when we invest in a coach.

    Your thoughts are your inner work.

    The outer world is a reflection of your inner world.

    For example if you have a chaotic mind, you’ll find more often than not a messy, disorganised home.

    If you’re finding it hard to find love, it’s because you don’t truly love yourself.

    If you’re finding it hard to make money, it’s because you have a scarcity mindset.

    Trying to change your reality by changing the outside world, is like trying to change white wine to red wine by adding food colouring. 

    If you want actual change, you have to go to the source.

    If you want the wine to actually change, you have to use a different variety of grapes.

    If you want your reality to change, you have to fo the source: you, your thoughts. 

    Zero to One

    In the journey for change and success, the first step is always the hardest.

    First of all, when you want to do something new, you’re starting at zero.

    You have no track record or experience.

    You have no momentum.

    There’s nothing.

    More than anything, it takes determination, energy and effort to go from zero to one than it does to get to get from any other steps after that.

    After that, every step is easier than the first.

    You can achieve the goals you set.

    You can create the reality and results you want.

    But guess what? You aren’t entitled to that without doing the work.

    You have the do the work.

    You have to earn your results.

    Now zero to one is the hardest but don’t let that stop you.

    You can do hard things.

    You were made for hard things.

    There is no such thing as success without failure

    We cannot discuss success without failure.

    Guess what, success and failure go hand in hand.

    You can’t choose whether you will succeed or fail because failure is always going to be a part of success. You can only choose what kind of failure you are going to have.

    The only real failure in my eyes is to not try at all or to use it as an excuse to quit.

    Further to this, allow yourself to grow. Give yourself permission to grow.

    When you plant seeds in the garden, you don’t check every day to see if they have instantly bloomed.

    You simply water them everyday, clear the weeds and know that in time they will grow.

    Breathe easy beautiful soul, it will happen – let things unfold as they are meant to.

    How do you achieve your goals?

    If anyone tells you there’s a secret to making it happen, there isn’t.

    There’s no magic formula or button, it truly is just doing the work.

    It is overwhelming to go from 0 to 100 but it’s much easier to go from 0 to 1 to 2 to 3.

    The key to success is consistency and knowing that every little bit counts even just 1%.

    The pain you feel today, becomes the strength of your tomorrow 

    What can you do everyday to get you one step closer to your goal?

    Think of success like a ladder.

    To get to the top of the ladder sure you could leap from 0 to 4 rungs or even jump from rung 3 to rung 7 but when you do that, not only is it harder and requires more energy, you may fall in the process of doing so.

    Consistency on the ladder is going up steadily one rung at a time..

    Accountability

    Further to this, let us sprinkle accountability into the mix.

    How different is it when you write down a goal in your journal and tell no one vs have a life coach checking in with you weekly asking if you’ve done what you needed to do that week to make your goal happen and post about your goal openly on social media?

    Very different right?

    Studies have shown that when you share your goals with others, you are twice as likely to achieve them than if you keep the goals to yourself. 

    When you don’t share your goals in some way, you aren’t truly committed to them. It’s very easy to give up because it’s like they never really existed.

    Another reason why accountability works is well we are human and we want to save face.

    Your reputation is on the line to loved ones, to people you know, to strangers on the internet. You want to fulfil the expectations that others have of you. 

    A life coach is worth the investment as there isn’t the strain of telling a loved one or friend. A coach does not judge, scold or blame, your coach is there to support you every step of the way, help you develop strategies to overcome obstacles and help you realise what works for you and what does not.

    So far everything I’ve discussed cements the fact that success is not an accident.

    Success is intentional.

    Habits play deeply into success as they account for about 40 percent of our behaviours on any given day. 

    Let’s pause for a moment to consider this.

    Almost half of the things you do on any day isn’ a result of conscious decisions but behaviours that you have repeated so many times they have become more or less automatic. 

    You no longer think about them, there’s no mind drama, you just do them.

    It has been widely said that it takes 21 days to make a habit, so I’m not going to go into this.

    Rather I want to introduce the concept of habit stacking with you

    Habit Stacking

    Habit stacking uses the habits you already have and using the power of connection to create new habits.

    It makes sense right, you’ve already done something so much it’s almost auto pilot – if you use that as a foundational base to make a new habit, it’s more likely to stick.

    Habit stacking goes like this

    After or Before [CURRENT HABIT], I will [NEW HABIT].

    Simple examples could be:

    Before I eat breakfast, I will write down 3 things I am grateful for.

    After I brush my teeth, I will take a minute to meditate.

    Before I check my phone in the morning, I will stretch for 5 minutes. 

    So when I discussed the topic of goal setting and success on my Instagram you beautiful souls had a variety questions that I would like to answer. A Q&A a on goal setting and success.

    How do you prioritise your goals and success?

    When it comes to prioritising, think of it like this.

    Everyone in the world has 24 hours including Beyonce, Oprah, Elon Musk. What are you doing with every hour you get?

    Is what you are doing helping you get closer to your goal? 

    Another useful tool is to use a decision matrix, how important is the task and how urgent is the task? 

    How do you stay motivated towards your goals and success?

    Always know your purpose.

    A great exercise for this is something I learnt from The Life Coach school. It’s called the 3-2-1 method.

    Everyday write down your goal followed by 3 reasons why it is important to you, 2 reasons why you are equiped to make it happen and 1 thing you’ll do today to move closer to making it happen.

    If you’re struggling to understand the purpose of your goal, use the 5 whys technique. 

    Ask yourself why, 5 times until you distill it down.

    For example:

    I want to get fit

    1st why? To be skinnier

    2nd why? So I can fit into my clothes

    3rd why? So I can wear the new clothes I bought

    4th why? These new clothes make me feel attractive and confident

    5th why? They show off my figure. I want to feel attractive and confident to call in a relationship into my life. To feel so much love not only for my partner but for me too.

    Realise this, when you chase a goal you’re chasing the feeling you get by achieving the goal. Most of the time it’s about feeling good.

    The great thing about feelings is you can also conjure up feelings by recalling memories right?

    If you want to feel happy, think about times where you have felt so much joy, you were laughing.

    If you want to feel sad, think about times where you have experienced heart ache and pain.

    If you want to feel confident, think about times where you felt at your best.

    Let’s tie this into achieving our goals and the realm of success.

    Let’s time leap and think about the you who achieves your goals this year.

    What does the future you who achieved your goal think?

    How does the future you who achieved your goal feel?

    What does the future you do?

    Taste it for a moment.

    Your subconscious can’t help but latch on and work in the background to find a way to make it happen.

    Not only that, how do you embody future you right now?

    What about achieving your goals and having success during times of uncertainty?

    Life is always going to be changing, change is the only constant.

    No matter what you need to have confidence in yourself.

    When you are confident in yourself, it doesn’t matter what is happening in the external world.

    The outside world doesn’t define who you are and what you can do, you do.

    Your job doesn’t define you, how much money you make, your relationship, how much you do, you do.

    You control your thoughts, you control your belief, you control your decisions.

    You know you can do hard things.

    You know you will find a way to make it happen.

    You know that you will figure it out.

    Self confidence is having belief in yourself.

    It’s taking the leap through the faith.

    Is reality controlling you or are you making the most of the current reality? 

    Think about this analogy, that you are at a casino playing blackjack.

    Whatever cards you get, your goal is to win. 

    You can’t control the cards you are being dealt, but what you do with those cards you control that. You also control your appearance, do you look confident with your hand or are you truly confident with your hand. Do you look defeated by your cards but secretly you know you have been dealt amazing cards?

    That doesn’t mean you’ll always win with every hand but thats okay right? Just because you lose one round doesn’t make you a terrible player. Just because you’ve been losing consistently doesn’t mean you’ll always lose. The tides turn. After all you can win big in just one round and leave.

    What if I don't have enough resources to make my goals happen and be successful?

    This one really ties into a scarcity vs abundance mindset.

    Scarcity says why is this happening to me. Abundance says what is here for me.

    Focus on what you do have, when you notice the good things in your life, you can’t help but feel more abundant. 

    An abundant mindset looks for opportunities and understands the more you give, the more you will get.

    For example, if it’s money – the most incredible thing of our time is the internet. There are SO many free resources out there. In exchange for money, you may exchange time because you need to filter out all the information to find out work best for you, you need to try and learn along the way.

    Instead of I can’t afford that, think how can I afford that.

    Are you conscious of where your current resources are going? Your time, your effort, your energy?

    Most of the time we think we are but we can’t account for minute to minute of our time or dollar to dollar. 

    This truly is a hard one but I truly understand. 

    In 2020 I spent $10,000 on my self development during a global pandemic. What I realised though is I had more money than I thought. The money that I used to use on frivolous things like new clothes, Ubers, dining out and takeaway was now funding my development as a life coach through taking courses and having my own coaches.

    The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 09: How to Create and Have Success in 2021 - Close

    This episode has been like a mini intensive on how to set yourself up for success in 2021. 

    I wanted to close this episode with some quotes and food for thought.

    “There is no elevator to success, you have to take the stairs.”

    “The road to success and the road to failure are almost exactly the same.”

    “Successful people do what unsuccessful people are not willing to do. Don’t wish it were easier; wish you were better.”

     “If you are not willing to risk the usual, you will have to settle for the ordinary.”

    “I never dreamed about success, I worked for it.”

    Thank you so much for listening to this episode on creating success in 2021. I am so excited for all the things to come this year. Watch this space! If you have any episode suggestions, please get in touch as I’m always looking for new ideas to explore.

    Not only that, as I mentioned earlier, I have limited 1:1 coaching spots left so if you are interested and want me by your side in 2021, let’s chat, I would love to help you.

    I hope you all have an absolutely incredible 2021 full of joy and success.

    Love and positivity, chat to you next Tuesday.

    [Episode 09 – How to Create and Have Success in 2021 Ends]

    Are you wanting to find out more about 1:1 Coaching or working with me? Maybe perhaps you want to know more about me. I’d love to connect with you. You can visit my website phidang.com or connect with me on Instagram @thephidang. Speak to you soon.

    Click here to read more