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Episode Summary of The Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang, 29: Shule Ozek Closeted Soul
A conversation with my new friend Shule Ozek from the Closeted Soul podcast. We talk all things spiritual and the esoteric world from tarot cards to mental health to self love and self acceptance. Shule’s story is truly inspiring – a must listen. She’s gone from being an atheist with a negative mindset to a deep soul living in the spiritual world.
What you'll learn from this episode
- Shule’s journey and spiritual transformation
- Self Love
- Self Acceptance
- Self Discovery
- Tools to use for spirituality: Law of Attraction, Manifestation, Tarot Cards
- Religion
- Negativity
- Mental Health
- Taking Action
- Resources
Key Quotes from this Episode
We all have these desires there for a reason
There's a reason you don't like things and there's a reason that you do like things, you can use that as a navigation system.
We don't go to the school of self-love. I mean, maybe later on in life, I'm like hanging for that. I want to create that for my kids.
Featured Resources on the episode
Show Transcript
[Introduction to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang plays – Background Music: upbeat, confident, rising beat]:
Don’t just go through life, grow through it. Don’t just go through life, grow through it.
Hi and Welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang.
My name is Phi and I am a Clarity and Confidence Life Coach known as the “The Positivity Queen.”
My passion is to help you go from stuck and self critical to courageous and empowered so you can conquer anything.
Join me, every Tuesday, as I discuss all things mindset, self love, energy and purpose.
This podcast won’t just inspire and motivate you, it will also provide practical tips and strategies you can implement in your daily life.
Ready to grow? Let’s grow!
[Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang End of Intro]
[Episode 29 – Shule Ozek]
Podcast interview with Shule Ozek Closeted Soul Intro
Hi, beautiful souls.
You are in for a treat.
On today’s podcast I have Shule Ozek from the Closeted Soul Podcast. She is a former atheist who has undergone an incredible spiritual transformation.
Her mission is to inspire you to practice self love, self understanding and self acceptance through the world of the esoteric. Today we chat all things spirituality, spirit guides, tarot cards, mental health, mindset and so much more juicy goodness. Enjoy!
[Please note the transcript below is as accurate as possible]
Getting to know Shule Ozek
Phi: Hi Shule, welcome to the Grow Through It Podcast With Phi Dang (that’s me haha).
I’m so glad to have you here after our conversation. It was like the other week right? Time is just like flying?
Shule: Oh my God. It’s flying. It honestly feels like so long ago, but it really, really wasn’t. Thank you so much, I’m so excited to be here. Thank you.
Phi: Shule, please tell us a bit more about yourself and your story. I’m sure the listeners would love to know more about you. The last time we spoke actually, the conversation flowed so much, it was so much to talk about. I think you couldn’t shut us up.
So I feel like we’re in for a really juicy conversation today.
Shule: We really do. I that’s what I was thinking. I was like, I just felt like our conversation was five minutes and before I knew it hour and I’m like, wait, what?
I had like set, prepare. I said some questions as well. And I’m like, okay, I’m going to, you know, say this one and say this one.
Phi: And then it just went out the window
Shule: Out the window because we just flowed, it was nice. I love conversations like that.
Phi: Yeah. So tell us you have a podcast, right?
Shule: The closeted soul podcast.
Phi: I’d love to know about that and your journey, because I saw that you used to be an atheist, which I’m find so hard to believe because we were talking all spiritual woo last time. So tell us about yourself, your journey, the podcast.
Shule's story
Shule: All right. I didn’t even know where to start, I guess, like, I guess okay. To paint a picture of who I was, because I really can’t recognize that person, like last year, honestly, I would say, yeah, start of 2020.
I don’t know who I was. It was just my whole life. I’ve always led my life based on other people’s decisions. I never ever made my own decision ever. I had no sense of like intuition. I was a hardcore atheist. I really, really rejected religion. Spirituality. Didn’t let that in. And. My whole life was kind of like built up to this point where, you know, I was getting the degree and I was moving out with my partner and like all the things that were supposed to happen were happening yet.
I was just like riddled with anxiety riddled with self doubt. I hated my life. I was a negative person. And I know that you said, I guess you’re like, okay woman. Sorry. I was so negative. Like I didn’t let myself, uh, look at the positive, any situation I could be on a beautiful holiday and I’d pick out the negative situation in, in, on that holiday.
It was such a crappy quality to have, like, I’m surprised at the people in my life have stayed in my life. It really shocks me because I look back now and I’m like, I don’t know how you guys would even tolerate that because it’s just, it was such like lack mentality.
Phi: Right
Shule: So that was May, and like in the year of 2019 was probably like the biggest year for me in terms of like my biological dad ended up passing away and just all of these other things happened in that year.
And it was a lot and it really triggered this anxiety that was always in me. But then I started to like kind of wake up with it and it was just constant. And then I would get panic attacks. And then once, like time went on, I realized that I was getting worse and I wasn’t getting better. And I couldn’t, I couldn’t fix, like, I couldn’t fix it.
Phi: Mmmm
Shule: Right. I remember I’m a very vocal person. Like, I’ll be very honest about anything that I’m going through. So I remember going to my partner and being like, you know, I’m really unhappy. Like I need help because I was at that point where I’m like, I need help. Like, uh, but he, he, you know, no one can do anything for you when it’s your mindset, that’s trapping you.
Right. So through that, through COVID actually hitting, I. I was forced to spend all this time with myself. I couldn’t distract myself with society and I couldn’t distract myself with other people anymore or just life in general because it was all taken away. I couldn’t go to work. I was just at home with myself with my thoughts.
And there’s only so much like you should’ve been tick-tock and moving before you run out. Right. So I really got to sit with myself and it was the first time in, I think my whole life that I’ve actually sat with myself and thought like, look at what you’ve become. You’re riddled with anxiety. You’re like, I have like a panic attack nearly every day.
I’m so unhappy about my existence here. Like I was actually contemplating not wanting to be here, which is not a place that I ever thought that I would be in. And. I just, I, I can’t believe it like from being that person. And then I, I knew that I had to make a change. I’m like, well, it’s either going to get worse from here, or I’m gonna have to like start doing something.
So I became interested in meditation. So I started exploring meditation and it was through practice. Like this didn’t happen straight away, but through practice and constantly showing up. Cause I had nothing else. Like I just, I had to do something. So through practice, I started to be consistent with meditating, taking it seriously, being mindful about it.
And then I started to receive the benefits over time and I was like, wow. Like I forgot the last time that I go to feel peace and just that calmness. Right. I just, my body, I just, that, that feeling was so unfamiliar that I craved it. So, you know, I woke up and I was meditating, lunchtime I’m meditating, but literally often doing my part would be like, what are you doing?
I’m like, I’m meditating. Maybe like, seriously, I like craved being in that feeling. But then through getting into that feeling, it was really awful mindset. And I was practicing gratitude and slowly, slowly, slowly, things were starting to kind of turn around for me. But then I tapped into a completely different realm that I didn’t even know existed.
Like you could imagine going from an atheist, thinking that this is all, all it is to then like meditating and getting in tune with like, just. Another realm, honestly, and just activating something in may that now I cannot close the door to so fast forward to spirituality, just changing my life completely.
And then, you know, the self-development grew from there. Cause that’s all spirituality is to me, it’s just self development working on yourself, cultivating that self-love and I get to do it in like a magical, like with a magical lens on life. Like I, I look at life now as like just magic. I’m always like miracles are happening every day and it’s just beautiful to live from this perspective than what I was, what I was living before.
So I started the Closeted Soul podcast and it took me a long time to get it. Like to actually trust myself enough to launch the podcast. And I’m so happy I did because just the amount of growth, like I’ve stayed with everyone around me since launching the podcast. Cause you reciprocate what you become to other people around you.
So it’s been beautiful, like just watching everyone else evolve and then yourself evolving as well. And just the podcast is all about spirituality. It’s just diving into the esoteric world. And I really just created something that I was craving when I was exploring the spiritual world. I needed people to talk about this stuff because it wasn’t so openly discussed.
It was always like it’s too. Woo. Woo. And you, you know, you’re crazy if you think that or if you go down that rabbit hole and I’m just like, well, I, you like. You know, I I’m experiencing the things that I need someone to validate me and tell me yes, I’ve experienced it too. So I created that platform that for that reason.
The story behind the name of Shule's podcast Closeted Soul
Phi: Amazing. Yeah. It’s so funny. Cause like, when you share your story, I feel like we have so many things in common. It’s like, of course we were going to meet. Of course we’re going to come together. And I just, like, I find the name of your podcast, really interesting Closeted Soul and also the esoteric world.
Can you like explain that to us and the name of the podcast and how that came to you?
Shule: Yeah. Yeah. Well basically I was toying up. So prior to me going down this path that wasn’t aligned to me, that was based on everybody else’s decision. I always wanted to do YouTube. So since I was 15, it was actually when YouTube first started and I saw this video and I was like, oh my God, I was drawn to it.
And I just knew that that’s what I wanted to do. And that’s what I should be doing. But quickly I convinced myself, no, no, like that’s not, that’s not the career path. People go down. And how are you going to make money doing that? You know, Fast forward a couple of years later and everyone’s doing it.
Phi: Wow you were onto something!
Shule: And I was like, oh my God, I’m so annoyed at myself. Why did I do that? Like, and then it became that be right. So as time went on, I was like, you’re too late. Now the market’s saturated. You’re never going to be something, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like it’s not to base something, but it was just to like, it was this lifestyle, like this lifestyle of creation and doing something you’re genuinely passionate about and being creative and just not living that nine to five, like that linear, that just isn’t for me, it is for some people, but for me, it’s, it’s wasn’t for me.
And I couldn’t like grasp that. It was like, I, I used to always ponder about that. I used to be like, is this seriously going to be my life? Like, I’m going to go to work nine to five and just do this day in, day out. Like what? Um, so yeah, I allowed myself to stay in that. I allowed myself to stay in that and I tried to follow that linear.
I was like, you’re going to find happiness. You’re going to find happiness. It’s going to be fine. And obviously I wasn’t following my desires because my desire is from when I was 15, was to start that YouTube channel. That was my, you know, when people were like, what do you want to do with your life? I’m like, I want to do that. So, um, I, yeah, I just, that happens. I always had that design then when I had my awakening and I was being reintroduced to my soul again, and I was really uncovering all of these parts of myself that I really looked and I didn’t allow in those desires that I suppressed because I told myself I wasn’t good enough.
So I allowed that to come out again. And when that really really came out, oh my God, it was just. A whole new ball game, because I saw like those desires for creation and being online and being an entrepreneur and like just living this lifestyle that I’ve always wanted to create, that started to come out.
And I was like, that’s how you’re going to find your happiness when you start following your desires, when you start following your bliss. So I went back and forth for a good year, not a year, six months with the, with the podcast. So I had the idea for six months and it was actually during the new moon.
Phi: Of course!
Shule: Cause I was like trying to manifest and I was just sitting there and meditating and I, um, have quite a close relationship now with my like spirit team. So they like communicate with me. It was, they’re very like involved in my spiritual evolution. So it’s been nice to kind of have them there, but I yeah.
Kind of tapped into them and they just gave me the name.
Phi: Wow! That’s crazy.
Shule: Yeah. And then I was like, what? Okay. So I was sitting on that for so long and I just had it there and I was like, okay, okay. Day. Um, it actually, yeah, I ended up investing in a coach, which we discussed on my process.
I invested in a coach, her name’s Erin Henry. I don’t know if anyone’s ever heard of her, but she was actually a client of mine.
Phi: So crazy how it all like comes together.
Shule: Right. That is so yeah, no, she really helped me step into my power. She was just kinda like, you know, you want to do this so much, like what’s stopping you?
Shule and Phi discuss fear
Shule: And I think it’s that fear that really keeps people like here. Um, but then when you start like stepping into the fear and you start doing the thing that was like paralyzing you. It just becomes addictive. You’re like, oh my God, I want to do the next thing. And the next thing, and the next thing do your experience though.
Phi: I was just thinking literally this is so crazy because LA this week I did like a post on fear about how it stops you. Like, it kind of does stop you from doing things, but it also makes you do things like you didn’t really want to, but you like actually stop yourself from living life when you are fear.
Like I say, it keeps you stuck small and scared. Like that’s what fear does, right?
Shule: Absolutely. It does. And I was actually, this reminds me of a conversation I was having with a good friend of mine, but she’s quite like in this like, confused place right now. And she knows what she should be doing, but she’s not doing it because she’s scared.
She’s fearful of what’s going to happen if she takes that step. And I remember just thinking to myself, it’s so funny how the mind is just so comfortable in discomfort or like this confused energy, because it’s just like, I’d rather be confused because I know I don’t have to take action from this.
Phi: That hits deep girl!
Shule: It’s true. It’s true. It really got me thinking. Yeah. I was like, wow, it’s so funny how we stay here. And we just don’t do the thing because when you do the thing, you, it’s just, you feel like I honestly, I feel like I have superpowers when I’m doing it. And I’m like, whoa. Like I couldn’t even believe that I had the capability of doing that.
Even just doing this podcast with you now. Like I just. Oh, my God. Like if this was may last year, I’d be like paralyzed with fear. I’d be like, oh my God,
Phi: Hahaha I don’t believe you (because Shule has come so far and is so different now!)
But growth isn’t logical. Right? Like I always tell my clients I’m like, growth is not logical. That’s why people quantum leap, you’ve definitely quantum leaped. Like it doesn’t make sense to the mind because it’s not rooted in the mind.
Shule and Phi discuss anxiety, self discovery and avoidance
Phi: I love that you were kind of speaking about meditation and breathing, being the gateway.
You know, we discuss like going back into the body, but I know you’re really passionate about self-discovery because I know you did a podcast episode, all about tarot cards.
And now I find out that your spirit team helped you with your name. So you clearly can get in touch with the spirit. And I’d love for you to kind of maybe for anyone listening about their self-discovery journey and your playing with tarot cards and any other techniques or tips that you can share with the listeners today.
Shule: Yeah, I can. Absolutely. I guess the first, like main thing that self-discovery was with me was actually prioritizing myself, giving myself that time back because that’s what I didn’t do whenever I would have a free moment. I would put like a podcast on a YouTube and I would just drown myself in somebody else’s life and things that weren’t, uh, yeah, just things that weren’t myself, because I couldn’t be in my own anxiety and I couldn’t be in my own mind because it was so toxic.
And I think that’s what anxiety is like. I think you anxiety comes about because you believe the thoughts that are being perpetuated by your mind. But when you really take the time to actually sit with yourself and observe the mind, and it sounds so cliche, but seriously, when you actually sit there and you let whatever needs to come up, come up, you get to see that the mind is actually quite irrational.
Mm. It doesn’t make sense.
Phi: Yes the brain is a liar
Shule: It is a liar. It’s not you, you did an episode called the brain of it. Yeah, because it’s true. The brain is a liar. It’s not, it’s not telling you the truth. And when you really get to like step back and disassociate from that part of you, you get to say, oh, that’s a bit irrational.
And it helps you in so many ways because you don’t get consumed by it. And then you don’t make decisions from that place as well. Because a lot of the time we’re making these anxiety induced decisions or like fear based decisions based on that anxiety and the mind. Right. We’re not actually choosing from a place that is like our heart.
Our our soul or desires. So, so that was really important for me to actually spend the time. And I think it’s important for everyone to develop some sort of a practice because it’s life changing. I remember I was talking to my best friend about this recently as well, but she was saying, I don’t believe, you know how people say, oh, meditation isn’t for me, just doesn’t work for me.
Shule on meditation and avoidance
Phi: Yes
Shule: I don’t believe she was saying she doesn’t believe that, but same. I just believe that it is for everyone. You just have to develop a way to do it with yourself. If you’re struggling to meditate it’s because there’s something you were avoiding.
Phi: Yeah, cause that kind of links back to what you said. I find, I see that with a lot of clients as well. They don’t want to listen to their own voice. They’d rather fill it in with anything else. It could be technology eating, drinking, like as long as they can avoid that mind space. So it was really interesting that you brought it up because can you kind of recall a time when you were like there and you’re like, I don’t want to feel this feeling and you’re like just trying to resist?
And don’t you find that the more you resist it persists?
Shule: Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. I can think of a million situations where I’ve done that. Like I’m not sitting here like, oh my God. I’m like transcended and I’m fine. And I’ve overcome the ego. Oh my God. No, I am still like working with that side of myself all the time.
So it’s just about. Kind of just jumping into it again, like just being like, no, I’m going to face it. Like, I think when you’re meditating, when you’re sitting there, the body’s like trying to do everything exactly what you said to like get out of it. Cause it’s like, I should be doing this. This is time wasting, but really just saying no to the body, like start, don’t get up, don’t do this.
Like, just take this time for yourself. It’s just about actually doing the thing and the practice of the thing. And then you start to see the benefits of the thing and that’s what keeps you consistent. And that’s what makes you realize, wow, I actually really needed this. So I, my, my best advice is honestly just to do it and just to be consistent regardless of how hard it is.
So if it’s hard, I think there’s work to be done there. And I think you should do like that all the more reason to do that with yourself.
Phi: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think that’s really interesting in your journey as well, because, um, so this kind of brings me back because last night I was talking to my friends and a lot of my friends are skeptics of tarot cards and I was a bit like, Ooh, and then they were a bit worried, like, oh, did I offend her?
Shule's spiritual journey
Phi: And so I want to know your perspective because you went from atheist to very spiritual and you’re very open about it. And how has that journey been personally for you? You know, when people don’t believe you’re like, oh, tarot cards don’t exist. I don’t believe in spirit guides. How do you deal with that?
Shule: I guess, uh, sorry.
I’m just like, you asked that question before and I just jumped onto something completely different.
Phi: No, no, no. This is the flow let’s get in. Let’s keep going.
Shule: Um, so I guess with, with that, I. I struggled the most with my partner, I think. And I think this is the problem for lots of people, because my partner is quite a realist and our dynamic was really, really hard for us because we would bond over being atheists and realist together.
Phi: Oh, wow.
Shule: Like a big black pot of our relationship. The fact that we didn’t like conform to religion and stuff. So it was weird like, cause we connected on that so much. And then for me to completely 360 and be like, oh my God, they’re their spirit guides the universe like, oh my God, I’m at the higher power.
Phi: Did he think you were pranking him? He’s like, what is this? What happened to her?
Shule: I’m lucky. Like it was hard. It was really, really hard, but he’s, he’s shown so much, uh, He’s shown like interest in it. Like, not that he can relate on the conversations that we have or anything like that, but more like in like the create, like the career path, I’m trying to go down what I’m trying to create.
Shule on her spirituality and the impact on her relationship
Shule: He buys me like tarot decks. He actually bought me my first tarot deck.
Phi: Oh, wow.
Shule: He shows his support doing that sort of stuff. So he that’s, that’s kind of his way to be like, I’m supporting you in this, even though it’s really weird. But then I had to learn some ground rules as well and be like, okay, I understand you’re learning everything.
That’s like completely blowing your mind, but some people aren’t ready to hear that. And that’s fine. It’s just not their path either. It’s going to be their path on this lifetime or it’s not, and it’s not my job to convince them.
Phi: Mmmm
Shule on religion
Shule: I realized like the reason why I was an atheist and I was so like, I didn’t want anything to do with religion was because I felt like it was forced.
I felt like I was told what to believe, how to be, how to act, if I wasn’t that way I would be punished. And I really had an interesting upbringing with religion because my parents are primarily Muslim. And then my, my mom ended up breaking up with my dad and she was still a Muslim, but one of those she’s so cool.
I don’t understand why she was like this, but she, she would just really embrace being in Australia and exploring the culture. So I always got to celebrate Christmas, Easter, like all of the fun things.
Phi: Mmmmm
Shule: So I, and I did Beetham as well. So all of the things I did, I celebrated everything and I went to a Muslim primary school and a Christian High school. And through that, I realized that it was like, in my mind, I’m like, this is all basically the same. We’re all saying the same thing, but in different ways. So the whole, like fear that’s embedded in religion turned me off. And I was like, mmm mmmm I don’t want anything to do with that. So then when I had my awakening, it happened so organically, it happened so naturally.
So I was getting the experiences because I was tapping into something that I didn’t even know existed. And then I would go to the internet and be like, what the hell is happening to me? What is this experience? And I would try to validate it with other people’s experiences. And that’s what drew me to spirituality.
That’s what made me go, oh my God, I’m a whole hearted believer. I like, I’ll be preaching if there’s a spirituality church, I’m the trip like preaching because it was something that just happened on its own. And I think I lacked spirituality in that. It is so like the way that I follow it, it’s so freeing in that.
It’s really whatever I want it to be, whatever I need it to be. And. I like it because like, you can believe in whatever you want to believe. It I’ll believe in whatever I want to believe in. And I think like, that’s the best way to navigate it. ,
Skeptics, like my boyfriend is the biggest skeptic.
I’ve proved to him so many times that I’ve like psychic. I predicted something. And he still like finds ways to just be like, no, that’s a coincidence. That’s this. And I’m just like, okay. Like, if you want to live your life through that perspective, that’s fine.
I want to live life in a magical, we all have this ability. We’re all intuitive perspective. And that’s, that’s, that’s my power.
Shule on intuition
Phi: Ooooh I was going to ask you because some people like what if they can connect to the intuition? You don’t believe that or you think maybe they’re not open to it?
Shule: I, I believe that everyone can. I think because I was that person that used to be like, I don’t have an intuition seriously fade.
The way that I would make decisions was back back. This is partially the way that I would make decisions was I would consult everyone around me. So I’d be like, you know, What do you say? What do you think? What do you think? What do you think? And then I’d get the, the decision based on what everybody else picked.
And I remember one time I was doing that same thing to my best friend, like I always did. And she just looked at me and she snapped because she always had that sense of intuition. And she’s like, don’t you have a sense of intuition. She’s like, why do you always make decisions like this? It’s like, it really like triggered her.
Cause she’s like, you just rely on other people’s opinions and you don’t rely on yourself. And she’s like, don’t you have that thing that tells you what to do. And I was like, I don’t know what you’re talking about. And I couldn’t say it from her perspective until I had the awakening. And I was like, wow, now I don’t consult anyone with any decision.
I just tell people what I’m going to do. And I’m like, I’m doing that. So I just completely consult myself.
Shule on her identity, self acceptance and tarot cards
Phi: So powerful. They literally gave me chills. I’m like, you’re literally, literally like the living, breathing thing of it. Like you’ve seriously gone, like a whole different journey and your identity is so interesting.
And I know that you’re really passionate about self-love, but I want to delve into self acceptance because that’s something that you really talk about. And so how do you think that all comes together for your life about the whole self-acceptance and having all these different identities and coming that whole journey, being like, you know what?
I am my own person. I have my own voice and I’m here to speak about it and show the world right?
Shule: Yeah, uh, that comes with many different things. Um, bringing it back to what you said, the tarot cards, like the tarot cards as something that really, really helped me actually connect back to myself. So you can look at tarot any way that you want oracle cards, whatever, however you like, right.
It could either be communicating with your highest self or it could be communicating with like your spirit team, whatever you want to believe in. Uh, it’s really just your interpretation. However you believe you’re getting the information.
So when you’re doing tarot, it’s not about actually looking at the like definitions of what the tarot cards mean or the oracle cards or what somebody else has written because it’s your interpretation.
That’s important. So when you really get to like analyze the image and what feeling is that bringing up? That’s what strengthens the intuition, but not only that, then actually following that guidance. And then through just the practice of doing that, you strengthen that relationship with yourself. And that’s really how I did it with myself.
That’s one of the biggest ways I. Develop this relationship with myself. So it was just a good way to kind of get like the cards are good visual way to get what was happening in my head out onto a table. And I could see it right. And then I showed myself that I trust myself and I trust my guidance by actually taking the action.
And I think taking the action is where people struggle the most. And there’s really no formula. There’s really no, there’s no formula other than just doing it. I don’t know if you agree with that?
Phi: I just think it’s so interesting. I’ve never really heard about anyone describe tarot like that. You know what I mean?
Shule: Yeah. It’s such a powerful way because it just, it regardless, even though I believe I’m talking to my spirit guides through the cards, as well as my highest self, you don’t have to look at it as a spiritual thing. If you really struggle with like trusting yourself, it’s just about. Yeah. Playing with the card, saying what comes out?
What does that make you feel? You know?
Shule on self trust
Phi: Yes. Self-trust is a very interesting concept. I definitely haven’t trusted myself. I mean, now I do, but definitely before I did it, do you have any tips on how somebody could build their self-trust or anything that you’ve experienced to help you?
Shule: Yeah, I honestly just think it’s just doing the thing that you know, that you know you should be doing.
Like there’s that, you know, that saying where people say, um, where they say, I don’t know what I should be doing. I don’t know what I want.
Yes, you do. You know what you want? I’ve been saying that for years and years and years and deep down, I knew what I wanted, but I was like, I don’t have any passions.
Yes, you do. You just, you. Uh, choosing to say, I didn’t have any passions because your desires are too much for you to actually let you go into that thing. Right? Because you you’re scared. You’re scared about not working out. Maybe it’s not as accepted by society. Um, maybe it’s not what everyone else does.
Maybe it’s different. Maybe it will make you feel left out.
So I think, uh, realizing that, and then realizing that that’s important. Like we all have these desires there for a reason, your desire Phi is going to be completely different to my desires, programmed differently. We want different things, but he have for different things, but he had to fulfill different things for different people, whatever.
Right. So it’s important to realize that. And I think we can get trapped in that. We all want the same thing, but we don’t. Hmm.
Phi: Yes.
Shule: I think really using that and trusting that what’s, there is there for a reason.
There’s a reason you don’t like things and there’s a reason that you do like things, you can use that as a navigation system.
I don’t like that. That’s not for me. I’m going to go down this way. So don’t suppress that part of yourself because it’s only going to lead to like an unhappy life, which it did for me for so, so, so long. So I say the best way to trust yourself is to actually follow that desire and take action. Like actually follow the thing, do the thing, prove to yourself that that was the right, uh, that was the right message or that was the right path for you.
And then through that action of like continuing to go in that direction, you’ll realize, okay, that’s how I trust myself. Like you just weren’t even questioned it. Like whenever things come up, you’re like, okay, I know that’s what I have to do now because I’ve done it time and time again. And it’s proven me right.
Shule on growing through life
Phi: Yeah. You’re like blowing my mind. Cause I mean, we’re talking about concepts. Like they’re not new concepts. Right. But just like the way you explain it is a very different perspective to mine. And I love that we all have stupid similar, but really different. And I love that you’re sharing all of that. And so, I mean the podcast name, right.
It’s called the Grow Through It podcast. So it’s all about, you know, this podcast is don’t just go through life, go through it. So what will you say is like been your catalyst for growth and what really like kind of shot you up and you’re like, yep, I’ve got to do this. This is my growth. This is my waking.
Like, whatever that is for you?
Shule: Uh, for me, I guess like the thing that showed me up into growth was I did reach this really, really bad point in my life where I, like I said, I was contemplating being here. I was contemplating the will to live. I was really, really just reaching out to people around me. Like I need help.
Like I’m so unhappy. I was riddled with anxiety and self doubt and. It was either I was going to stay that and it was going to get worse. And to be honest, like I know that this is really crap to say, but I don’t even know if I’d be sitting here. If I followed that path. I don’t know if I’d be here right now, having this conversation with you.
Like, it’s just crazy to think, like, cause it was, it was bad and it was just getting worse and worse and I’m not gonna lie. Like I was quite a neglectful towards mental health. I didn’t understand it until I went into it. And then I understood it and I was like, wow, like I understand now how like profound and how hard it can be.
So kind of being in that, it was either like I had to make a decision and say that you’re going to stay there and it’s going to get worse and worse and worse, or you’re going to make that change. And you’re going to start like giving yourself what you need, what you’re like, my soul is yearning for. And once you start doing that, like.
It’s either going to get better or it’s going to completely suck. So I think like I got to this point where it was like life or death, really, as dramatic as that sounds, it was life or death.
For me, it was either you start listening to yourself and listening to your soul, your desires and following, you know, everything that’s in you that you really, really wanted to explore and you want to let out, or you keep it suppressed and you stay unhappy and then it gets worse and it gets worse.Then it gets worse.
Shule and Phi discuss mental health
Phi: Wow. Yeah. Thank you so much for sharing. And you don’t like, I don’t think we talk about enough about it, like that issue of like contemplating your place in society and being alive here. Right? Like we all kind of like, you talk about it when it’s like mental health week or mental health month.
And then we kind of like tip toe around it because like, Ooh, it’s like so controversial and we’re like, skip. I’m like, let’s not be scared about it. Like, let’s talk about it. Right. Because somebody is listening and being like, I’ve made that, I’m feeling this right now. And so I guess, like, what do you think really kind of push you?
Like I know you were kind of, um, delving more into spirituality and breathing, but do you know when you, at that place, like some people, like, how did you find that will, how did you get that motivation to be like, okay, I’ve got to change it because, you know, I think we’ve all been there. We’ve been just so down and we feel like we’re in like this whirlpool and we cannot get out and we’re like drowning and we’re like trying to scream for help, but we’re like, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t.
How did you make that leap?
Shule: How did I do it? I just like black. I said it just actually got to that life or death point. Like it was either I stay in my misery and I’m not here anymore. Like I do the things that I’m thinking about, or I, I take, I try to make a change and it was hard. Like I’m not going to sit here and say it was easy.
And like, once I did it, like it skyrocketed, no, like I was trying to meditate for a good four months in that period. And I, I couldn’t, I couldn’t even stand being alone with my own mind, but I’m quite a persistent person. And I guess, like, that’s just a quality that I have where I really, really, um, I’ve always envisioned a happy life for myself and I never like wanted to be in like misery, you know what I mean?
So I really just envisioned like envisioned a playful, happy life. And I wanted that so much. And when I hit adulthood and like all this like crappy shit was happening, I was like, Uhhhhh, like, it’s just getting like worse and worse and worse. And is this what adulthood is it? Does it just get worse? Because I was surrounded by adults with like such a negative mindset and I was like, oh my God, I just felt way down.
That’s the best way I can describe it. And, uh, I guess that, like that, like that envision that I had, like deep down that I just wanted and crave like a happy life and just to be happy and grateful. So I think that that was just within me. Like I said,
Phi: It’s beautiful.
Shule: Yeah. It’s in you or it’s not right. So yeah.
You decide kind of how you want to go with it because, you know, I’ve seen people go the other way, completely like down a bad path and it breaks my heart that they don’t feel like they can get out of it. But I really believe that it’s just something that you have to find within you.
Phi: I think you can always get out, right?
Like, um, I genuinely a hundred percent believe it. And I think that’s something that’s really comes through in what you’ve just said. It’s like holding that vision, like whether it’s manifesting or getting yourself out of a bad time, you have to hold the vision. You have to hold that. Hope that even if it doesn’t look like it’s happening, it can happen.
We live in a quantum reality. It could just drop out of the sky. Like I tell that to so many clients, like, I mean, if we, if I talked to you like a year ago, you’re probably like, no, I’m not gonna be a positive person. I don’t believe in spiritually, but I could be like, do you, well, maybe you will be. And then here you are.
Shule: Right. You’re so right. You’re so right. And I also want to bring it back to what you said about the mental health, like it being such a taboo topic and this about it. I completely agree. I think it’s something that we should talk about. We should start talking about this because so many people stay with that.
And that was a big thing with me. Like I, um, do you know much about astrology.
Phi: Yes. I love astrology. You know me?
Shule: Yes. I’m a Virgo ascendant. So that means like ascendent is kind of how people see you have it all together. They look like they’re very structured, organized, and they just have it all together.
So in my deep down in my head, I’m like sh like the looking for the world to live and people like, oh, wow, she’s got it all sorted, look it up going, you know, graduating with that degree, moving out with her partner, like all of this is happening for her. So that’s like kind of what I was portraying, but like deep down, I was hurting so much.
Right. And I’m looking around at other people and you know, people don’t talk about this stuff very openly. And I’m like, no one asked is feeling this. Am I alone in this? What’s wrong with me? And then like, whoa. So then having these conversations just makes you think, okay, I’m not alone. I’m not the only one who goes through this.
So it’s just powerful that you said that. And I think it’s true. Like you put up that post recently. Um, uh, what was it called? It was the one we had, like the three words.
Phi: I can’t even remember.
Shule: Uh, but that just, you, you were talking about mental health. You were really honest Phi, which I love.
Phi: Oh, yes. Yeah.
Shule:It’s just, it’s so nice and refreshing to say that on social media, because it can be. Hard to.
Phi: Oh yeah. You’re giving me all the flashbacks. Sorry, everybody. I would say we were laughing because I was say I’m so present that. I forget like all these things, but it was, yeah. So this week I was really ill, like, so ill that I couldn’t like watch TV.
I couldn’t even like read a book and it taught me surrender. And I was like, oh my gosh, I just have to surrender to this. I can’t fight this. If this cold wants to take over, I’ve just got to let it do its thing. And I felt all these things and I was like, oh, actually I didn’t even want to, um, upload that because I felt a bit angry because in that photo I was like really down and really angry at the world.
I was like, oh my gosh, I’m so sick of myself. Right. But like you said, it’s so important to talk about these things. Especially people like us who have a platform. I don’t want people to think that I’m happy all the time. Cause I’m definitely not. So it was a beautiful moment. I remember writing that and I’m like, it’s just such a true.
It’s just so much truth in that post and what you said, and I love that you had that experience. I really, really do. I was teaching. I mean, what’s your experience with surrender? Because I think I said in the post, like people think surrendering is like, you give up. Right. But I think there’s so much power in being like, you know what, okay, take me with the flow.
Let me go where you want me to go. And I surrender and I felt really powerful by the end of the week, style awake, nor angry at surrender. So I wanted to know your experiences about surrender.
Shule on surrender
Shule: So, um, I do struggle with that, but I think what ends up happening is it kind of gets to this point in my mind where I’m like, okay, there’s no like. So, okay. I guess, like to be as truthful and honest as I possibly can, which is what we’re talking about, but I was getting caught up in analytics.
So I was getting caught up with like analytics on posts and podcasts and all of this, like, and it was like feeding my ego almost. Right. So it was like, um, I remember like the podcast hit, like, was it like a thousand downloads or something like that? And I was like, oh my God, that’s so exciting. And I was going to go on social media and just be like, oh my God, thank you guys so much.
And I like stopped for a moment. And I was like, okay, what am I going to do that. Like, what is this full? What am I really saying? Thank you to the listeners, or am I doing it to feed my ego? Am I doing it to prove to people that the podcast gets downloads? You know what I mean? And that ended up being the reason I was looking for validation.
I wanted other people to know that I was succeeding and that it was going somewhere. And I’m like, that’s not the way that I want to live. I don’t want to live my life based on other people and getting validation from them because that’s how I’ve lived my entire life. And that made me extremely unhappy.
I need to be able to give that to myself. I need to be able to just really celebrate that on my own. So I didn’t post that. And I stopped and I was like really proud of myself, like realizing that that came up and I got to stop myself in that moment and be like, why is he doing this? Oh, my goodness. Yes.
Because gosh, so many times I’ve been there to anything in life. I’m like, wait, you know, like people say like, I want a relationship or I want lots of money, but I’m like, is that what you really want? Or are you just subscribing to something that’s picked up along the way when you were growing up and you’ve just kept going with it.
Like so many times I’m like, wait, is this what I want? Or is this like, find my mom wants me to do all society.
Phi: Right. And for you to share, Shule that is so powerful. To be able to be like, oh my gosh, what am I actually doing this for? And being humble enough to be like, yeah, that was my ego. And we all have an ego, right?
Shule on the ego
Phi: I mean, what’s your take on the ego? Because I had this relationship where I was like, the ego is so evil, but I’ve come to realize that ego is just doing its bit to protect you at all costs. You know, I say. The mind is not for your happiness, it’s wired for your survival. So what’s your take on the ego and your experiences with ego and maybe dissolving the ego cause that’s damn hard.
Shule: Yeah. I don’t think like it’s, you shouldn’t really dissolve the ego. Cause like you said, it’s important. It’s there and you realize it’s not such an evil thing. It, the ego is that defense mechanism that protected us when we were a child, when we know something bad happened to us and it came in to like be there for us.
So the ego is a massive part of us. And my friend actually gave me this analogy and I really find it so helpful. I think kind of, uh, her name on Instagram is elevating consciousness. Um, she talks to her ego in a way where she treats it like a child, like a little baby child. So whenever it’s starting to play up where it’s like, I’m not getting attention or this isn’t happening or this didn’t get so many likes and now I’m sad.
Like that, that part that comes up, she will then talk to as if like a kid like it’s okay. You’re still loved. You’re still very accepted. I accept you. So it’s just that back and forth, like catching the ego and that’s what I’ve been doing. And I found it so helpful because when you actually look at how the agar reacts and like it acts out, you’re like, it actually is very childlike.
It is just that in a child like that, didn’t get something when you were a kid and it’s acting out now as an adult. So to actually catch that, if you, if you can like really, you know, develop a mindfulness practice and you can really get to know yourself and then you can catch those things. Like, you know how I could catch myself in that moment and be like, why are you doing this?
Um, in that moment. And then you just talk to that, that, that ego side of you. And you’re like, it’s okay. We’re still loved. Those are fine. Like, you know what I mean?
Phi: I love that because you know, it goes really hand in hand with consciousness and awareness. That’s like the parent, right? It’s not like your, you don’t love your children.
It’s just like, you’re the parent watching the kid, having the tantrum and you’re trying to like appease it and make a decision out of your best awareness as an adult self. So I think that’s really, really cool. And I love that you had those conversations with your friends. And so a lot of listeners, like they always want to know, like, you know, do you have any books that have been really, you know, spiritual, not spiritual?
Shule on her favourite books, podcasts, resources
Phi: Well, they could be spiritual, but I mean development to your growth or, you know, any favorite quotes that really resonated with you that you’d be able to share with us.
Shule: So a really good book for ego, like really like catching the ego is called what’s it called conversations with the devil by Napoleon hill.
Have you heard of it? I’ve heard of it, but I haven’t read it. It’s such a good raid because it’s very, it’s the devil is the ego basically. So just like develop, like, learning how that works and how that manifests into our minds at what age that manifests. And then like really understanding that. And I guess for me, because a lot of my self development journey has been spiritual based.
Like it was me really relying on the spiritual podcasts and things like that. So I really, really enjoyed in terms of podcasts. I really enjoyed, um, manifestation, babe.
Phi: Oh, yes. Yes.
Shule: I just, I love her. I love her content. It’s so wholesome. It’s so nice. Um, so I learned a lot through this, uh, balanced, blonde podcasts as well.
I learnt a lot through that podcast. Um, I’m trying to think what was. That would be my, um, a lot of my main recommendations are really good wine. If you want it get like deep into this boat of spirituality, understanding the ego and all of that, her name is Christina alerts and she’s on YouTube. She really helped me a lot as well.
Like really gives detailed explanations and then tangible tools on how to like get through certain situations or overcome blocks. And it’s very, very helpful in that the video is so detailed and they’re all for free on YouTube. So she just shared so much value, but she really, really helped me as well.
Shule and Phi discuss coaching and investing in yourself
Phi: Oh, great. Thank you so much for sharing because I mean, I definitely agree. I think we are so lucky. Like when has there been a time in the earth where you can access everything for free? Like genuinely, like everything is free and it’s out there. Right. You just have to find it. But then I also think like when you invest in yourself, like say a coach, like you have, and I haven’t, you know, the clients of mine, it is a different journey because you put your skin in the game, like your energies behind it, because you’re putting a resource behind it.
It’s not to say like it’s better growth or anything. It’s just a different place, a different energy, maybe at a different rate. What is your take on that? Cause I don’t like the stuff like I’m a life coach and I’m saying like, you don’t have to work with a life coach to get better. Like, I don’t believe that at all. I think you accelerate it, but I don’t think it’s necessary. What do you, what’s your take?
Shule: I love that you say that because it’s empowering, you give people the power back. And that was a lot of what I realized when we were talking on the episode that we did together on my podcast.
It was, you were really, really talking about, uh, how you really pull that out of people. You’ll kind of just there just kind of thing. People’s guide back to themselves really, right?
Phi: Yeah. What’s in them. It’s that.
Shule: You all have it within you. Like we all do. We all have the capability of pulling ourselves up and I think like you’re so right, like investing in a coach.
The may, it was like, I’m going to prove to myself that I’m putting myself first. Finally, because for me at that point, I was at this point where I was like, okay, I know what I need to be doing, but I’m too scared to take the step. I’m too scared to do it. So I needed that support. So when I invested that money into that coast coach, she helped me then, like, it’s kind of like, okay, you’re investing in yourself.
You just put that much money into investing in yourself and your growth and your, you know, you really gonna disappoint yourself by like wasting all that money and not doing the thing. And then that person becomes your cheerleader. Right. And they’re like to do it usually. Yeah. She’s like, you have it all within you.
Like just do it, just do it, just do it. And then somebody like that, believing in you, also somebody that’s doing like, usually we invest in people that have what we want. Right. Like what we’re looking for. So having that person behind you saying I did it, you can do it too. That’s really helpful because you’re like, okay.
Yeah, like she could do it. I’m going to do it. So it’s so like investing in a coach, if you have like. The financial means to do so. And you want to prove to yourself that you’re important and you’re going to take off, you’re going to follow your desires. It’s with it a hundred percent. And it was the best investment I’ve ever made.
Shule on taking action
Phi: Oh, I love that. I love that. And I think for our conversation today, I really learnt that you’re very action orientated, girl, you move, you make moves. Like you don’t just like sit there and stagnate. And so I wonder, have you ever been in that place where, because you’re like such an action, take-away you feel like you’re stuck and when you’re stuck, like, what do you do?
Shule: Like I said, I was stuck for the whole year. Like I had, I had the podcast idea in last year, year, and I wanted to, I purchased like the blog and all of it in media last year. And I did not take action until February this year. So that was like a good six to seven months that I just didn’t listen to myself.
But I just, I didn’t do the thing. So that wasn’t me and what I did, funnily enough, I invested in a coach. Yeah. It’s funny. It’s true. Like, I think I was, I still remember my first coach. I was very reluctant, but it is something about it. Like your energy and the money you just like, I can’t not do it now.
Phi: I always say that my clients are like, hi, their dreams are hiring me because the dreams want to happen. And they’re like, can you just please stop the process and like, get along and do what you need to do. But it just shows that you just sometimes like you do it. And even though you feel scared, even though you’re, you know, you’re worried about being judged, right?
Shule: Like, and you grow a lot in your self love as well, because you’re like, I love myself. I’m going to do this for myself. I love myself enough to not be so worried about other people’s judgments. And so I love to know like your take on self love and your growth and journey. Yeah. Uh, I love that. You said that that’s exactly right.
It’s just that stepping into fear and then it becomes addictive because you’re like, oh my God, I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. I can do it. And then you keep going natural drug. I actually forgot the question. Oh yeah. So I was saying like, because when we step into the fear, but I think it takes a lot of self love to do it.
Phi: Right? Because you love yourself enough to invest in yourself. You love yourself enough to do the things, even though people might judge you. And so I wanted to know like your take on self love and the development of yourself love in your like spiritual growth.
Shule: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, that was something that’s probably been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to cultivate in this life, loving myself enough to give myself the life that I’ve always dreamed really has been like such a journey with me with self-love and I still struggle.
Like there’s still things that I have to work on, but I’m so like, I, I have come such a long way with it. I have, I really, really have, and I am proud of myself and I think that’s a good reminder for people to look at kind of where they were and where they are now as well, because I think you can get, you can get lost in the growth and you’re like the next thing, the next thing.
But then you’re like, wait, look at how much I’ve changed. Like this is me right now in may last year. It was just a completely different person. Like I’m so proud of me. So just taking those moments, really like really, uh, being my cheerleader, like whenever I would have those little minor milestones where I, you know, posted my first story did my first podcast, like celebrating that and celebrating me and celebrating my ability to do that.
Shule on self love
Shule: So really like. Also spending time with myself, like loving myself enough to like set boundaries was really, really important. I was like such like a giver and people like really projected onto me. And I would take that on. I was like an empath and I would literally, I would be like, so like wake and broken and I would need like time to myself.
But if somebody asks me to like, be there with them for a thing, I would go, cause I’m like, you need me, I’ll be there for you. So it was like cutting, like getting out of that mindset that I had to be like that. And like really giving back to myself and being like, you know what, Monday to Friday is for me, no, one’s going to get me in that time.
It’s mine and weekends, I would give to other people. And that like being able to rejuvenate my energy, spending time with myself because doing those mindfulness practices like meditating and, you know, having like a spiritual bath with Epsom salts, playing with my crystals, playing with my tower, like that brings me back to my soul and it makes me so happy.
Connects me back to my hot and. I need that time with myself. So like making that a priority over other people. And then once you can really like nourish that version of yourself, you’re showing yourself, I love you. I love you. And I’m going to give that to you. That’s what you want. That’s what makes you happy?
I love you. I’m going to give you the things that you want. Nourishing a buddy, even like eating those good foods, like feeding your body. Things that feel good. Like when I was in a really, really bad place, I didn’t care about my health. I didn’t care about how I was feeding myself and my, I, I shuffled for it.
I’ve developed celiac disease, really bad IBS, like just so many things and even CBO at some point. So like, I just, wasn’t listening to my body. It just got really, really bad. So showing myself that I love myself, I’m making like a nice nutritious meal, like spending the time to do that. Just those small acts of self-love.
Does that make sense?
Phi: I feel like absolutely. No, no. I was just listening so deeply. Cause I was like, that’s so very true because you don’t realize that. Well, I feel like people think you have to do things for self-love, but I genuinely believe self-love is the lifestyle. Right? You should be loving yourself in every moment and be able to make the choices because yes, there is hard, but it’s like, when you are talking about it, I was like, yeah, she actually becomes such a better person and a better friend because you are like at your full and then you’re like, okay, I can give to you because I’m so happy.
I’m so connected. And. Like, I think it was like talking about this with a client, because I was like, you know what self love, like your friends should respect that. Right? Like, I wouldn’t be like, oh gosh, do you want to take a weekend off? Because you’ve had a terrible week at work. Like, how dare you? Like, I don’t think any normal friend would be like, no, you can’t do that.
Like, it’s just weird. This we’re bringing all the threads in, but like your mind just makes up all this crap.
Shule: Right. And no one teaches you how to love yourself. When you think about it, we don’t go to the school of self-love. I mean, maybe later on in life, I’m like hanging for that. I want to create that for my kids.
Shule on what's next for her
Phi: Well, that’s interesting because I’m like, what’s like, what’s next for you? Like, you obviously have a podcast. Where can people find you.
Shule: Yeah. Oh God. So right now I am, I’m doing like a healing and mediumship course, basically.
Phi I’m so excited for you.
Shule: I’m excited. So I don’t know where that’s gonna take me, but it feels right. And I’ve never felt like I was at home. Like I was doing the course and I just had this like overwhelming feeling of this is right. Like, this is where you’re supposed to be. And when I’m doing the work and I’m reading people and I’m learning like the healings, it just feels so familiar.
And so, right. So I’m hoping to then start like maybe offering that to people. I’m not sure what it’s going to look like, and I’m going to leave it open to whatever it needs to be. So I’m going to just leave that, but you can expect that from me in future. I’ll be definitely go spirit. So we’ll just time.
It, nobody like it’s time now. I’ll just be like, you’re doing this. Um, so it’ll be something like that. But right now I’m just getting most in the conversations, like really focusing on the podcast and really like sharing people’s stories. Like your story. Like I’m passionate about people like you I’m like, it’s so cool.
Phi: You have like every single topic. I was like, wow. She talks about like all sorts. Say, if you’re into the spiritual, you need to check out the closeted soul podcast. Trust me. And I feel like you’re such a calm, like you’re so great at conversations and you bring out the best people. But I mean, I’m just like reflecting on this time.
I don’t even know what the time is, but it’s been such a healing conversation genuinely. Like it’s just so deep. And I think you are meant to hear, like, I would, I think that path is open for you, but I could definitely see you doing that. I think that’s really, really beautiful. And I mean, um, in terms of healing, do you think you have to do anything?
Do you think it’s like a spiritual thing? Like what is healing to you?
Shule: Healing can be many things and it’s really just how far you want to take it. But I think, um, In order to like go to the healing. Like for me, it started off like how it starts up for everyone. Like the law of attraction medicine. Woo.
This is fun. Oh my God. I got to create my own reality. And then you realize, oh my God, there were so many blocks where do these come from? Oh my God. Like, I actually have like things I have to deal with. And then you go down the healing path. It’s important to not get caught up in the healing path because that can also be quite like really sad and it can get really, really Dave.
So it’s yeah. You need like a balance of both. And while balance is so hard to like, cause you can’t really have a balance. Right. But just, just be mindful of not going, like getting too caught up on the healing. Um, I think first of all, like the most important thing before taking steps to healing is to develop that relationship with yourself.
Really understand what you need. And what if there’s something that you’ve have tried to work on it, look, look it up. Like we have so much access to information on the internet. And that’s how I did a lot of my journey. Like a lot of people, like, I can’t believe you like did everything all on your own.
And I’m like, yeah, well, I had the internet, like how lucky are we to even have access to this information? So utilize it, you know, those resources that I mentioned, explore them because you will learn so much. And then you’ll learn like how to do and people give such valued, valuable advice on the internet.
So really, really go through that and, um, try to take on the practices, take them seriously as well. And then if you’re struggling from there, like for me, like for example, like I have a really, really heavy childhood, which how I bring up because it just brings the vibe down. But I’m like a really heavy childhood that I talk about on my cost, but I needed help dealing with that.
I was like, That was when the ego was coming in and I was like, mm, you you’ve dealt with this. You don’t have to deal with it. You’ve dealt with, but it was because it was to visit. So I was like, yeah, been myself that I had healed, but I had been. And when I realized that that like kept coming up in my reality and kept like keeping me here.
And I couldn’t like, it’s like, I couldn’t move to the next thing because I knew that that had to be dealt with. So they came a point where it had to be dealt with. And again, my guides were like, you have to deal with this and I needed help. And I’m really hard at asking for help. And that’s when I invested in an actual, like, um, she was a healer and it was a very like intense situation where she took me into a meditation.
She brought up the situation. I was in that meditation for three hours. Wow. It was full on and she just talked me through like the scenario and she didn’t let me get out of it. And what I could, what was happening to me during that time was I kept trying to get out of it. Like, I don’t want to deal with this anymore.
Like, I’m done, I’m done. I’ve done it. I’ve done it. And she kept saying, no, you’re not, you’re not done. Go back. Like, go back. It was intense.
Phi: Oh goodness. It’s like, it sounds like ayahuasca, you know how like full on that is. Oh, you go to peak frontier. You can’t leave it’s in your mind. Would you say it was kind of like that, but obviously more not plant related?
Shule: It was spiritual. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And look, you can do that. Like that’s what a lot of people say as well. Like those experiences, you can get as well, like without being on the plant medicine. So you can definitely do that. So it’s. That’s what’s so cool. Like you just have to seek out what you need.
So that was really, really powerful. Like I’ve seen shamans but energy work and it’s just, it is really, really powerful when that’s what you want to. Allow in even things like, like Kinsey, I can’t say it. Kinesiology. Kinesiology. Yeah. Yeah. That’s all run. Um, but that like Reiki, that’s also really good for healing as well.
So if you feel like you’re a bit blocked immunity somehow, like those, those alternatives. Yeah. Yeah. Right. I think you should open your mind. I don’t think anything’s right or wrong. I think you’ve just got to try it for yourself and open up. And I just love what you said about everyone begins in the law of attraction because I’m like, yeah, it’s true.
Like you realize that you can create your reality, but you’ve also all the whole time have been creating it. So, you know, it’s not always like, you know, all the manifestations coming true. It’s also like the stuff in the past that you have to take in your life and work through. So it sounds like you’ve really gone there, but I just laughed to myself because I was like, yeah, we all started out really positive and realize like the healing and the work is not always in the fun things.
Phi: It’s in the stuff where you have to really. Deeply confronts stuff that you don’t want to, and it makes you feel very uncomfortable, right? Especially like, I can’t imagine having visions being brought out and being like, you have to stay there and you know, your mind can’t distinguish between reality and not real.
Right. So you’re literally putting yourself through it again, reliving it to, you know, move forward with your life. And it’s so true because life will literally bring back patterns. I tell my clients, like, it’s not that it’s like punishing you or anything, but the patterns are happening for a reason because the universe wants you to pick up on the pattern and be like, oh wait, that may like, Hey, you think I was like, oh, not me.
That’s not the universe. That’s me. Like, this is something I have worked through the last 8 years before like I met my boyfriend. So, I mean, it’s, it’s a karma. Like what do you want to call it? What are your takes on like that kind of life path journey?
Shule on the subconscious
Shule: I believe it’s all subconscious. Like, I love that. I believe it’s all subconscious.
I believe that we haven’t dealt with that. And you got to think about how universe is basically a replication of our subconscious, what we call the law of attraction. Isn’t hard. The law of attraction is always working. You don’t have to try hard at it. It is something that happens. Like you realize you’ll just be talking about something like, um, and a topic will come up and then it’ll come up in another situation somehow some form, like just from nothing.
And it’s just, it’s so weird. Like my partner and I were always joking about the house next door going on sale. Cause it’s so beautiful. And I’m like, I’m going to live there. It’s going to go on sale. It went on sale seriously. And it’s like completely within our price range. It’s just so funny because those were the things I was joking about.
I was like, that has, is going to go on sale. It’s going to be within our price range and blah, blah, blah. And it did. And I was completely joking. So it’s just it really, whatever you put out there, it comes back the back end. It’s not, it’s not a hard thing. And I really truly believe that the subconscious is, it controls a lot of what, what you have.
Phi: Oh yeah. It wasn’t 95% of what we do. Like, isn’t it a weird thing? He, that like the thoughts you’re having a, not you it’s like in a, it’s like a washing machine. It’s like just going over and over different forms. But I get what you’re saying. It’s like the core thing is it’s still the same. Just keeps coming up in different ways.
Shule: Right. It’s, it’s controlling a lot of what’s happening and it holds onto a lot of hurt from the past. So, you know, maybe like it could have been as simple as your mom yelling at you, when you were a kid, maybe you were singing in your mom saying shut up, you know, that could have really, really hinted to a self-conscious and it all comes back to build that relationship with yourself, understand why you’re doing things.
If there’s a patent, like, you know, maybe a relationship that you keep getting to relationships and they keep cheating on you. Why is that happening? You know, look into that. Is that something that you’re attracting? That was the most powerful thing for me. Like, I was always like, oh, life is happening to me.
My life’s the worst I’m so like unlucky. And then when I really like took the step step back and I was like, what am I the creator of this? Am I creating this? Like unluck and like this, this dreamy sort of laugh for myself. You know what I mean? And then I realized I’m like, yes, you are. It’s all in the perspective.
And it’s all in the mind. And when I started to change that, and I said to really like practice gratitude and all of that, and I’m really do that work with myself and I get to like, change the way things played out. But that was, yeah, it’s such a powerful distinction, so powerful because when you do that, you’re like taking responsibility for your life.
And people think that’s like a drainer, but I’m like, no, if you’re responsible for it, you can fix it. You can change it at any time. Right. That is super, super empowering. And so when you set that, I was like, oh yeah, like that’s so true. And something else came up, which was like the stuff we talk about the world we deal with.
Like spirituality, it doesn’t make sense, but it works because it’s not because if it was a mind conscious thing, your mind would intercept it. Right. That’s why this stuff is on a subconscious level. You don’t even realize it. So it’s kind of like a bit of like a mind blowing thing. Right? Mind blowing thing.
Phi: Cause it’s true. It’s like, uh, it’s all subconscious, but then you have to be conscious of, I know what you mean. Yeah.
Episode closing Grow Through It Podcast with Phi Dang 29: Shule Ozek
Phi: So I guess before we end the conversation today, I would love to know, you know, what’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever been given and for, to tell listeners how they can find you on Instagram, your website, where your podcast is available.
Shule: Yeah. Yeah. Okay. It can do, can do the best piece of advice I was ever given. This is going to sound so cliche and it’s so boring. And I know that this comes around all the time. Like everyone knows what they’re saying, but it was really the thing that helped change my life and shift my perspective. It was that I was the creator of my own life that I was, I, I couldn’t have anything that I wanted, as long as I gave myself the permission to have that thing.
If that made sense. That’s so powerful. And it’s true. Yeah, it was that just because I was always a victim, I always felt like a victim to life. Like life was happening to me. So when I, when I heard that and I really said to practice anybody that everything changed, everything changed. I just became an unrecognizable person.
So yeah, absolutely that, um, and where people can find me. So I hang out on Instagram the most. So at closeted soul, And my podcast is the closed cell podcast. You can find it on apple podcasts and Spotify. And I also have a website. If you want us to check out the episodes closetedsoul.com.
Phi: Thank you so much for being on the podcast. My love it’s been so good. So deep, I’m literally, I was like, whoa, now I’m like jumping out of the conversation, but thank you so much for being on the podcast.
Shule: Thank you so much for having me. I honestly had so much time, so much fun and I can’t believe the time
Are you wanting to find out more about 1:1 Coaching or working with me? Maybe perhaps you want to know more about me. I’d love to connect with you. You can visit my website phidang.com or connect with me on Instagram @thephidang. Speak to you soon.
